The Mindset Mentor - How to Remove Anger & Find Forgiveness

Episode Date: August 3, 2020

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” - Mark TwainI this episode, I will teach you how to get rid of your anger, forgive, and move on with your life in peace.Follow me on Instagram @RobDialJr https://instagram.com/robdialjr Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never, ever miss another episode. Today, we're going to be talking about how to forgive, how to release the anger, and I'm going to tell it all through a little bit of a story about a snake bite. And I want to tell you this. When we talk about anger, we talk about forgiveness. I want to talk about a snake bite. And I want to make a bold statement that I want you to remember for the rest of your life. That bold statement is this. Nobody has ever died from a snake bite.

Now you might be listening to me and be like, this guy's insane. Because there's millions probably, if not hundreds of thousands of people since the beginning of time that have died from some form of a snake bite. And I want to tell you this, that's actually not true. Nobody's ever died from the snake bite. What they die from is the venom

that is inside of their veins. They don't die from the bite itself. They die from the venom inside of their veins. Now, why am I telling you this? Because the snake is the person in your life who screwed you over, who did what you didn't want them to do. The venom is the anger, the resentment that is burning inside of your veins right now, even though the snake bite might have happened six months ago, a year ago, 10 years ago, and you're still letting it run through your veins and affect you. You're still holding onto it. It's the anger that you won't let go of. The snake bite was the moment that they did whatever they did, the event that they had done.

But the venom is the anger and the resentment that you continue to hold on to even though you're completely free right now in every single moment of your life to just release it. Let's say it happened a year ago. You've had 365 days to release it, but you're the one that's holding on to it. Let's say it happened a year ago. You've had 365 days to release it, but you're the one that's holding on to it. Now, let's bring back the snake bite. When you're bitten by the snake, you don't focus on how to be unbitten, right? That'd be ridiculous. You don't get mad at the snake. That'd also be ridiculous. What do you do? You do everything in your power to get rid

of that venom and get it out of your body as quick as possible. You focus on one thing and one thing only, getting the venom out of your body so it doesn't poison you, so it doesn't kill you, so it doesn't bring you down. And what you have to realize is this. If you're getting mad at the snake for biting you, you're not healing yourself. And then you have an immediate issue. The snake is the person, the one that cheated on you, the one that broke your heart, the one that left you for somebody else, the one that never paid you back, the one that used to bully you when you were in high school, the one that told you that you were fat, you know, might've been your parents

that made fun of you and told you that you never amount to nothing or your aunt or uncle who always talked trash to you. That is the person, the snake, and the venom is inside of your blood and you won't let go of it. All of the people that are around you that have wronged you are the snakes, and you can let go of it. You're free to let go of it at any moment, and you've always been free to let go at any moment. They're all of the people that wronged you, that you feel that you have the right to hold resentment towards. Let me say that again. They're the people that you feel that you have the right to hold resentment towards. But I'm going to tell you this. There is no such thing as justified resentment. There's no reason to resent.

Things happen and then you just have to let them go and live with them. But it's interesting because, you know, I always talk about the fact that I love three-legged dogs because three-legged dogs are just like any other dog. They're just like any other dog. Let's say a dog gets hit by a car. They lose their leg. The next day after surgery, after they're back and able to get up on their three little legs, they learn how to walk and run around again. They don't even know they're back and able to get up on their three little legs, they learn how to walk and run around again, they don't even know they're missing a leg. They don't hold resentment towards a person that hit them in that car. They don't even think about it. The difference though between a dog and a human is that a human remembers those types of things and they hold on to anger. So instead of being like the human, be more like the three-legged dog. Let go, live your life as happy as you possibly can.

There's no such thing as justified resentment. And the anger and the venom that's inside of your body is only harming you. So if you're holding onto this anger and this resentment, thinking that it's going to hurt them, you're out of your mind because the only person that it's hurting is you. You are the only one that's being hurt by it.

Trying to hold on to anger and resentment and trying to hurt the other person by holding onto it is like holding onto acid, putting it into your hand and squeezing it as tight as you can, thinking that by you squeezing it tightly that you are injuring the other person. No, that's insanity. Everybody knows that if you have acid in your hand and you squeeze it, you're not going to be hurting somebody else. You're only going to be hurting yourself.

So why don't you just let go of the anger? Why don't you just let go of the resentment? You have to learn to forgive. Now, here's the thing. Most people have a problem with forgiveness. And the reason why they have a problem with forgiveness is because they feel like if I forgive that person who wronged me, I'm letting them off the hook. I'm doing it for them. And they don't deserve my forgiveness. If you know how many times I've heard something along those lines, they don't deserve for me to forgive them. You have to realize forgiveness is never for somebody else. When you go and you forgive somebody, you're not doing it for them. You're doing it for yourself. When you say, I forgive this person, whether you say it directly to their face or whether you just say it with your eyes closed in meditation. When you forgive someone, you are now releasing the anger and the resentment that's been in you

for so long. You never, ever, ever forgive somebody for their sake. You forgive somebody for your sake so that you can go, you know what? I forgive them. They might've been in the wrong. They might've screwed up in a bad way, but they did the best they could with what they had at that moment. I forgive them. I release them from that moment. And I am going to move on with peace in my life. The same way that if you were bitten by a snake, you would try to get that venom out as quick as possible.

If you're wronged by somebody, you need to get that anger and resentment out as quickly as possible by either forgiving them directly to get that anger and resentment out as quickly as possible by either forgiving them directly to their face in meditation, forgiving them and letting it go and promising to yourself that you will never go back to those feelings of anger and resentment towards that person because it's not doing anything for you. It's not doing anything to them to be mad at them. And it's not doing anything good for you to hold on to the anger and resentment. Forgiveness is the only way to get that venom out of your veins. It's the only way for you to get yourself right again. You forgive somebody for you.

So you have to make the decision that I am worth it. I am worth forgiving my father. I am worth forgiving my mother. I am worth forgiving that girlfriend who cheated on me or that boyfriend who cheated on me or the husband who left me for someone else while we had three kids. Whatever it is, the forgiveness is not for them. The forgiveness is for you.

Forgiveness is for you. And believe me, you have to realize this is the secret to forgiveness. This is the reason why it's so hard for people is because they don't realize that forgiveness is for you. It's not for them. And so they think that person wronged me. And if I have anger and resentment towards them, it's like me getting them back. Hey, everybody, real quick. The way that we work together seemingly changed overnight. And if there's one thing that we've learned, it's having access to the right resources is essential for adapting your business. And Fiverr's online marketplace connects businesses with freelancers offering hundreds of digital services, including graphic design, copywriting, web

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it's F-I-V-E-R-R.com, code DIAL. Again, that's Fiverr.com. Use the code dial. Okay, let's get you back to the show right now. There's no such thing as getting them back. Events happen and events go by. And then another event happens and another event goes by. They're not connected. You just make the mental connection in your head. So you have to let go of hate. You have to let go of anger. You have to let go of resentment. You have to let go of the sadness You have to let go of resentment. You have to let go of the sadness. So many people are still sad about an event that happened to them five years ago, 10 years ago. What is that doing for you to be sad about one thing that happened in your past? And you keep looking in the rear view mirror. If you're still angry and sad about something that

happened in the past and being sad about, oh my gosh, I was cheated on four years ago and this happened, this happened. Now my life has been a downward spiral because of this. No, your life hasn't been a downward spiral because of the event. Your life has been a downward spiral because of your thoughts and your feelings about the event that happened, not because of the actual event that happened. And if you continue to keep thinking that and keep living that way, it's like driving your car while looking in the rear view mirror and not ever looking out of the windshield. You have an entire life ahead of you. Why are you going to waste it? Because of one event that happened to you in your past. There's a beautiful quote that I love and it says, forgiveness doesn't excuse

their behavior. It prevents their behavior from destroying your heart. Let me say that again. Forgiveness does not excuse their behavior. That's the most important part for most people. It doesn't excuse them. But what does it do? Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart. It's about going, it happened. It's in the past. There's nothing I can do about it. I can either forgive them or I can hold on to this forever. But here's the thing. If you hold on to it forever and you think about it and you're sad and you're resentful and you have anger towards them, that is going to release adrenaline and cortisol into your body.

And cortisol is known and linked to giving early heart attacks. So by you holding on to this the same way that if you don't get the venom out of you as quick as possible, you're going to die. You're not going to quickly die from holding on to this, but you're going to possibly die earlier. So tell me, do you think it's worth it to take some time to sit there, to journal, to meditate, to light a candle, whatever you need to do to have a big ceremony and say, I release my feelings towards this person. I release my resentment towards this person. I release my sadness towards this person. I release every ill feeling that I have towards this person because I am going to move on with love, with light, with happiness, with joy, with peace,

a new person, knowing that I learned something from that event. That's a beautiful thing. You learned something. You learned what you don't want. You learned how you don't want to be treated. You learned how you don't want to treat other people. Everything in life is a lesson, but you have to extract the lesson. So whatever you need to do to release that person, forgive them, move on. And remember,

forgiveness doesn't excuse their behavior. It prevents their behavior from destroying your heart. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you're listening to this episode and you know someone who needs to hear this, I know that there are people that need to hear this, please do me a favor, share this on your Instagram stories, tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R, so that more people can get this message out there. We only grow organically when you guys share this message. And if you guys want to go ahead and send me a text message to get motivational-580-9305. Once again, that is 512-580-9305. Send me a message right now

and you will be signed up for my motivation text messages when I send them out every few days. But with that, I'm going to leave you the same way, leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. Go out there and be the change that you want to see in the world. And I'll see you on the next episode. Thank you.