The Mindset Mentor - How to Reprogram Your Personality

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you live in the United States or Canada and you want to receive motivational text messages from me, text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. Today, I'm going to teach you how to reprogram your personality. And you might be out there thinking, what the hell does that mean? How can I reprogram my personality? Because I am who I am. I am the person that I am, and that is my personality. There's no way that I'm gonna be able to change my personality. I'm here to tell you that your personality is not real. It is not set in stone. It is something that is made up and it's something that you've been following for a really

Starting point is 00:00:54 long time. And if you want to stay there and continue to live the personality that you have, you can definitely do. You can absolutely do it if you want to, but it is not real. It's not set in stone. It is something that is made up. And before I teach you how to actually program your personality and reprogram it, the word personality actually comes from the Greek word persona, which is the Greek word for mask, a mask that people would wear on stage when they were acting. So your personality is a mask that you are wearing. It is not real. It does not exist. And my favorite phrase that goes along with this perfectly is Alan Watts. And he says, you are under no obligation to be who you were five minutes ago, which means that you can be

Starting point is 00:01:36 a different person today than you woke up today. You can start acting differently. You can start thinking differently. You can have different beliefs and you can start acting like a brand new person. If you act like a brand new person long enough, what is that? That is a personality shift. That is a personality change. And so you can change your personality at any point in time. So let me give you a real quick example that'll kind of contextualize a little of this, this a little bit better for you. I was watching a queer ride not too long ago with my fiance and there was an Asian woman that was on there and she was talking about her parents were really tough on her, right? And she thought she was ugly because when she was younger, her aunt told her that she

Starting point is 00:02:17 was really ugly. And the way that I was, I remember specifically, I was in the kitchen and I was getting a glass of water and I was watching this episode and my fiance was in the other room. And I remember listening to her talk and I was like, that's crazy. And I went, got my glass of water, went back to the couch and I said, isn't that crazy? It's basically like her aunt came up to her one day when she was younger and put a shirt on her and was like, hey, wear this shirt. It is a shirt that says you're ugly. and was like, hey, wear this shirt. It is a shirt that says you're ugly. And she put the shirt on and she's been wearing it for 30 years now. She was like 37 at the time. And she said it was like six or seven when her aunt said this to her. So her aunt basically put a shirt on her that says, I am ugly. And she's been wearing that shirt every single day for the past 30 years.

Starting point is 00:03:02 And you have to think about this. It's kind of crazy. She's been wearing that shirt forever. Somebody in her childhood told her something. She took that as truth. And now she's been playing that role, playing that personality for her entire life. So in your childhood, some people could have come up to you and said something to you. And you've been put, you've had that shirt put on. You could have had your parents tell you something. You could have come up to you and said something to you and you've been put, you've had that shirt put on. You could have had your parents tell you something. You could have had bullies when you were younger. You could have had someone say that you were fat.

Starting point is 00:03:31 And so you've been playing the fat personality for a long time when in reality you could change it at any moment. And you have to start taking a step back and ask yourself the question, is the personality that I have my true personality or is this a personality that's been built over years and there's aspects of it that I want to change? Because you're all, we're all, everybody listening right now is wearing a shirt that isn't your shirt. It's a dirty shirt.

Starting point is 00:03:55 It's a torn shirt. But you wake up every single day and you put it back on. Now it's time for you to become aware of what shirts you're putting on. So what shirt are you wearing? Are you wearing the I'm not good enough shirt? Are you wearing the I'm not smart enough shirt? Oh, I'm not good at math. I'm not really a good reader.

Starting point is 00:04:14 I'm ugly. Are you wearing the ugly shirt? Are you wearing the I'll always be overweight shirt? What shirt are you wearing that's creating the reality for people to treat you a certain way? You know, I want to think of it this way, for instance, right? We all know someone that's an extremely good looking person, right? They're a great looking person, but for some reason, they don't have any confidence. Do you know somebody like that? Good looking person, but for some reason, they just don't have any confidence. You can't figure it out.

Starting point is 00:04:41 Well, think of it this way. If I was a kid when I was, if I was an ugly kid when I was younger and someone told me, Hey, Rob, you're ugly. And I took that shirt and I put it on. Even if I grow up and I'm this beautiful person and I look at, I'm just way better looking than everybody else. If I was just a better looking person than everybody else, I can still be carrying myself as an ugly person because my belief system is that I'm an ugly person. And so sometimes somebody that you see could be this beautiful woman, but she carries herself very unconfidently and she walks into rooms and you're like, why doesn't she, she's so beautiful. Why doesn't she see it? Why can't she see it? Why can't she see it? She can't see it because it's not the lenses she's looking through. There's a chance that maybe she was not the best

Starting point is 00:05:24 looking kid. We all know people who were not the best looking kids and you see them later on in life. You're like, whoa, what happened to you? Right? People get stuck in that, that personality of being ugly when they're younger. And then when they get older, no matter what they look like, they can still think that they're ugly and still take actions like that. And here's the crazy thing about it. If that. If somebody is a beautiful person, but they think that they're ugly and they're very unconfident, what's really weird is by the way that they go out and they carry themselves in the world, people will react to them differently. So you could see somebody that is a beautiful human, but they're very

Starting point is 00:05:58 unconfident. They don't dress well because they don't think they're pretty. So they don't think that there's any reason to do so. And people will react differently to that person simply because of the way that they are carrying themselves. So people will see the way that someone is acting and they will react to them the way that that person actually sees themselves in their own head. That's a pretty crazy thing to realize. So no matter how great someone looks, if somebody doesn't carry themselves with confidence, people will reflect that back to them and treat them accordingly. So it's really interesting to think about it that way. Let's say that you were a fat kid when you were younger, you were overweight. And if you think that you're overweight, there's no reason for you to eat healthy

Starting point is 00:06:40 because you've always been that way. If the personality, the shirt that you're wearing is that you're overweight and your whole family is overweight and it runs in your family, it runs in your genes and your mom might've told you early on in life that, you know, our family is just overweight and that's just the way that it is. You're never going to work out and you're never going to eat healthy. You're not going to as much because if you're always going to be overweight, what's the point of working out and eating healthy anyways? Why would you ever start working out? It doesn't matter because you're always going to be that way. And so you might have the overweight shirt on, you've had it on your entire life. Maybe that's been the reason why it's been so hard for you to lose weight or

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Starting point is 00:10:01 Because literally, you think to yourself, I'm poor. I was raised poor. I will always be poor. And if you think that to yourself, you're always going to create the reality of poor. I always say this. We all know somebody who is talking about how they never have any money. They're always broke. They're always broke. We all have that friend that's always broke, right? And they literally speak the reality into existence. They say, I'm always poor. I'm always poor. I'm always broke. And then, you know, I have a friend that literally I've known for 15 years and he always talks about how broke he is. And every single time I see him, guess what? He's

Starting point is 00:10:34 still freaking broke. He is talking his reality into existence. If you were to just change his, his thoughts of himself and go, Hey, yeah, I was raised poor, but that doesn't mean that I have to be poor. You know, it's like the, the quote I've heard before, if you're born poor and go, hey, yeah, I was raised poor, but that doesn't mean that I have to be poor. You know, it's like the quote I've heard before. If you're born poor and you, if you're born poor, that's not your fault. But if you, if you're born poor and you die poor, that is your fault, right? You can change at any point in time. If you're born poor, that's not your fault. But if you're born poor and you die poor, that is your fault. It doesn't matter where you start. It matters where you finish it. You know, so you might be wearing the Porsche. You might be wearing the, I'm not good at math shirt. I'm not a smart person shirt, right? Like I know that, that one of the things that I love talking about is imagine

Starting point is 00:11:13 like if you're, imagine if you're in fourth grade, right? And you're, you have this test and you've been studying really hard for this test and you really want to do your best for this test. And you study, you study, you study, and you, you do the best you possibly can on this test. You feel pretty confident about it and you get your test back. And there's a bunch of red marks all over it. And teacher says, this could have been done better. You could have expressed yourself better in this way. You know, I feel like this sentence was a run on sentence. You could have made it much more, you could have put some, some better context in it and some better words and more adjectives to be more descriptive. And it's just like the paper's red. You can look at that

Starting point is 00:11:48 paper and be like, oh my God, I tried so hard and I still didn't do well. And then what happens? You can think to yourself, I'm stupid. And then you can think you're stupid for the rest of your life simply because of that one event that happened to you. Now, what if you're walking out and the teacher says, hey, hey, hey, come over here real quick. I want that happened to you. Now, what if you're walking out and the teacher says, Hey, Hey, Hey, come over here real quick. I want to talk to you. Wait till all the kids leave and all the other kids leave. And the teacher says, Hey, I want to tell you, you know, I know that your sheet looked like it was really, your test looked like it was really marked up, but I want you to know this. I think that you're smarter than everybody else in this class. And so I'm

Starting point is 00:12:23 going to challenge you to be even better because I see what your true potential is. And so I'm going to be harder on you than everybody else because I want the best for you. Do you see how that would change your perception completely differently than had they just marked on the piece of paper and not said anything? So you can have a piece of paper and this is the exact same event, but just a little bit different, right? You can have a piece of paper that's completely marked up and you leave and you think I'm stupid and you think you're stupid for the rest of your life. You put on that stupid shirt, the one that says I'm stupid, you put it on and you wear it the rest of your life. Or the teacher could say, I think you're smarter than everybody else. I'm gonna be harder on you.

Starting point is 00:12:59 And you see that and go, oh wow. The teacher thinks that the teacher who's the smartest person that I know, smartest person in this room. Do you remember when you were kids, how smart the teacher seemed? The smartest person that I know, the person who's teaching me to be smart thinks that I'm the smartest kid. Now imagine how much different it would be if you put that shirt on as a kid. You know, there's people that have shirts like the son of an alcoholic shirt, right? I'm the son of an alcoholic. My father passed away when I was 15 from being an alcoholic. And there's a story of the twin boys, right? They grow up with an alcoholic father. And later on down the road, 30 years down the road, one of them, even though

Starting point is 00:13:33 they're twins, one of them is a successful CEO and business owner. And one of them is an alcoholic. And they go up to both of them. And they said, Hey, why are you an alcoholic to the alcoholic? And he says, I'm an alcoholic because my father's an alcoholic. And then they go up to the CEO and they say, why are you not an alcoholic? And he says, I'm not an alcoholic because my father's an alcoholic. They had the exact same upbringing, but two completely different perspectives. The beautiful thing about it, none of it is true. It's all made up in your head. All of your personality, everything, your belief system, your personality, the way that you act, all of those things, all of those are made up in your head. But you wake up every day and you put that shirt on.

Starting point is 00:14:13 So what is the shirt that you would prefer to wear? So if you're starting to identify, as I'm talking about this, what is the shirt that you're wearing and what is the shirt that you would prefer to wear? Maybe if you're wearing the ugly shirt like I was talking about, maybe the shirt that you're going to wear from now on says, I love myself and I'm beautiful. How differently would you react in this world? If you constantly had in the back of your head, I love myself and I'm beautiful. I love myself and I'm beautiful. Would you have more confidence? Because we all know somebody who's not the best looking person and maybe not even a good looking person, but they're confident as hell, right? And that's a little bit attractive.

Starting point is 00:14:49 And you're like, damn, this is pretty attractive. But we all know somebody who's really a great looking person, but there's no confidence. And so when we change the way that we see ourselves, people change the way that they react around us based off of the way that we show up differently in the world. If you're wearing the I'm overweight shirt, oh, I'm overweight. My family's overweight. It's in my jeans. I'll just always be overweight. What if you change the shirt to I'm going to lose weight? It might be harder for me. It is harder for some people to lose weight than others for sure, but is it impossible? No. So I'm going to lose weight. That's the shirt that I'm going to wear.

Starting point is 00:15:25 It's the reason why the people will lose weight. That's the shirt that I'm going to wear. It's the reason why people will gain, the people will lose weight and then gain it all back. Did you know that 97% of people who lose 20 pounds or more, 97% of them gain it all back? Why? Because they changed their body for a short period of time, but they didn't change their shirt. They didn't change their personality.

Starting point is 00:15:44 They didn't change their perception of themselves and their outward, their outward body, like the body they could see in the external world, did not line up with the internal way that they viewed their body. It's the reason why a lot of people win the lottery and then they go broke and they go bankrupt within four or five years. They never take their shirt off. They never take off the overweight shirt. They never take off the broke shirt. You know, it's the poor shirt. Oh, I was raised poor. I'll always be poor. That's not the case. If you have the I'm poor shirt, how can you change it to, I used to be poor, but I'm going to be financially free. I'm going to make a hundred thousand dollars a year. I'm going to be financially stable. I'm going to be a millionaire one day. What if you change your shirt from I'm

Starting point is 00:16:23 poor and will always be poor to I will be a millionaire one day. What if you change your shirt from I'm poor and will always be poor to I will be a millionaire one day. How are you going to act differently in this world? What are you going to do differently? The I'm not smart enough. I'm not good at math shirt, whatever. The alcoholism runs in my family shirt, right? My mom's, one of my mom's biggest fear when I was a child was that I would grow up to be an alcoholic. And I was like, no, there's no fucking way on this planet that I'm going to be an alcoholic. I made that decision a long time ago when I saw my father in a casket, it's not happening to me. That was just a viewpoint, but I could have also had the viewpoint of,

Starting point is 00:16:56 oh my gosh, I've heard of the alcoholic gene and I'm probably going to be an alcoholic because my dad was an alcoholic. Guess what? My grandfather's an alcoholic too. I might have it. No, my, my personality and what I've decided is I will never be an alcoholic. I do not have an addictive personality. I will not have that. If the gene actually exists, I'm going to kill that fucking gene. There's no way. How can you have that mentality around whatever it is, the shirt that you're wearing and what the future is that you want. There's a book that's a book, old bug. I think something like the thirties, forties, fift-Cybernetics. And it was a guy who was a surgeon and he would notice that people would get surgery sometimes and come back a completely different person. And then sometimes

Starting point is 00:17:36 people would get surgery and they'd come back and be the exact same person. It started being weird to him where he was like, man, you know, somebody came in and they would have like a mole on their face and they were just sad and quiet and lonely and depressed. And they would get a mole taken off of their face and they would come back to the next appointment and they would be happy and they would be confident. They would be dressed better and they would be holding themselves differently. He's like, what the hell is going on? How is that possible? All we did was remove a mole. Well, that person thought that the mole is what made them ugly and their personality and their actions and their beliefs and their thoughts of themselves changed when simply just a mole was removed. So what shirt do you need to take off? Take your shirt off. What shirt do you need to put on? And what's the strategy to not put the

Starting point is 00:18:21 old shirt on anymore? Because it's not going to change in one day. You have to realize it's a complete reprogramming that you have to go through. When you have to become very aware, you hear me say this all the time you've listened to the podcast, you have to develop self-awareness. When you start to notice yourself going back into the I'm overweight shirt, or you start to notice yourself going into the I'll always be poor, you have to have the awareness to click yourself out of it and go, nope, I'm not always going to be poor. I was poor. I'm going to be a millionaire one day. I'm overweight. No, no, no. I'm not overweight. I have been overweight, but I am going to love myself and get the body that I want. It won't happen overnight. It won't happen in one day. It's a complete reprogramming. It requires you to be very conscious of what it is that you're

Starting point is 00:19:02 thinking and the actions that you're taking and things that you believe. And whenever the bad beliefs and the things in the old shirts start to rear their ugly heads, taking them off and putting a new shirt on. So what shirt are you wearing? What shirt do you want to wear? Now, for those of you guys that are parents, I got a question for you. What shirt are you making your children wear? Oh, uh-oh. This might mess your day up if you start to really think about it. What shirt are you putting on your children? Are you putting on the shirt that you want them to wear? Because you have to realize you're programming them with the way that you're acting around them. So are the shirts that you're putting on your children, the perception of themselves and the

Starting point is 00:19:38 person out of their building, is it the one that you want or would you prefer it to be maybe more confident, maybe not speak to them that way? Maybe you want them to act differently in the world. How can you help them have the best personality that they can have so that they grow up strong and not having self-limiting beliefs? What shirt are you putting around those, putting the people, putting on, geez, I'm going to try to get some words here right for you guys. What shirt are you making those around you wear? And how can you help them change their perception of themselves? And I'm going to leave you with this quote that's perfect by the Buddha. And it says, just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again. Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and

Starting point is 00:20:22 over and over again. What skin, aka shirt, do you need to shed? And what shirt do you need to put on? So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor right now. Take your phone out, take this screenshot or whatever it is, share this on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. Or go ahead and just take a picture of you listening to it in your car and then post on your Instagram, whatever it is. And if you're on Instagram and you want some extra motivation and inspiration, follow me on Instagram, Rob Dial Jr. I have over 360,000 people that follow me on there. I put stories and I put up videos and I put whatever I can to try to help you

Starting point is 00:21:00 become the best version of yourself. So you can follow me on Instagram there. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - How to Reprogram Your Personality

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