The Mindset Mentor - How to Stop Being Indecisive
Episode Date: February 2, 2022If you are thinking too much about what action is the right one to take, then you’re not taking action! That means we need to make sure that you get rid of your indecisiveness ASAP because it is hol...ding you back from creating a life you want! Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube
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Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial.
And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button since you never miss another
podcast episode. And if you're out there and you live in the United States or Canada, and
you want to receive motivational text messages from me, text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305.
Today, we're going to talk about how to get past your indecisiveness. Because ultimately,
if you're sitting around thinking and trying to make an educated decision, you're actually
delaying either your success or your failure for whatever it is that you're trying to work through.
And I know a lot of people that are listening are indecisive. And we're going to talk about
what that's like and how to get past it. But really what it comes down to is taking action
sometimes without knowing what's coming up. Here's the phrase that I live by,
ready, fire, aim. Ready, fire, aim means get ready, figure out what you're going to do,
fire, and then change
whatever it is that you're doing depending on how it went. So like if somebody was breaking into
your house, you had a gun in your house and they were running at you, you wouldn't be like, well,
let me make sure that I'm getting the perfect shot before I go ahead and shoot. No, you'd be
like, oh my God, they're going to attack me and my family. You would just shoot. And then after
you see where the bullets went, you would then decide, oh, you know what I need to do? I need to re-aim at some point in time. That's how life is as well.
Too many people need too many, before they take any action, they need to figure out exactly every
single step of the plan before they take any action. So they're like, I need to plan and
then need to plan and then need to plan on top of my planning and then need to plan on top of
my planning again. And then finally, I'm going to feel like I should take some action. But in reality,
that's not usually the way that success works. Do you need to plan? Of course.
But one thing that you can do is you can ready, fire, aim. Ready means you do a little bit of
planning. Fire, which means you go, you mess up, you make mistakes, you see what works,
you see what doesn't work. And after you see what works, you see what doesn't work,
you make some adjustments, and then you aim after it. Instead of getting caught up in the indecision
and what if I make a wrong choice and all of that stuff. One of my girlfriends in high school,
her dad, who I was close to, he used to always say this phrase and it stuck with me ever since.
Whenever I'd be indecisive or she would be indecisive or someone else in their family
would be indecisive, he said, hey guys, are you going to shit or are you going to get off the pot?
Like that's what he said.
Are you going to shit or are you going to get off the pot?
Which basically means like,
are you going to do it or are you not going to do it?
There's no in between.
It's either white or black.
There's no gray in between.
Are you going to do it or are you not going to do it?
It's like Yoda says, right?
Do or do not, there is no try.
Don't try to do it.
Don't think too much about it.
It's either you're all in or you're all out.
You've got to make a decision at some point in time though. Am I all into this or am I all out of
this? Not, oh, let me sit around and think about it. Let me learn more and let me take some more
time and let me take another couple of weeks. And I want to be sure that everyone understands,
I'm not saying there's not value in taking a step back and looking at a situation and assessing a
situation and making a little bit of a plan, but there's a lot more value in figuring out what it is you want to do, making a short plan, executing, and then figuring out
what works, what doesn't work, and then reassessing from there. Too many people hide their insecurities
as, oh, I'm just a planner, or, oh, I'm just a perfectionist, or, oh, I need to make sure that
everything has to be perfect before I take the right action. And a lot of people will actually hide their insecurities behind the planning,
hide it behind the, I need to learn more information.
One of the things that I talked about on last week's episode is that a lot of times,
I coach coaches.
I teach coaches how to grow online coaching businesses.
And sometimes people will come in and they're like,
well, I want to learn more about myself.
I need to do more work myself. And I probably need to do some more meditating. I probably need to go to more conferences. And sometimes people will come in and they're like, well, I want to learn more about myself. I need to do more work myself. And I probably need to do some more meditating. I
probably need to go to more conferences. I probably need to, besides going to the conferences, I
probably need to read like 15 more books before I ever go and get some more clients. And sure,
will those help with someone's personal development? Will that help with someone's growth?
Absolutely. But one of the biggest pieces of personal development that someone will ever do
is grow their business. Why? Because as you're growing your business and you're putting yourself
out there, all of your insecurities are going to come up. All of them. Every single one of them is
going to come up and you're going to have to navigate through them. And so sometimes what we
do is because we know that we're in, maybe subconsciously know that we're insecure and
that we're trying to run away from things. What we do is we say, oh, I need to learn more. Oh, I need to study some more.
Oh, I need to read another book. Oh, I need to go to another conference. I need to do this. I need
to do this. I need to do this. When in reality, if somebody would just take the action and allow
all of their insecurities to come up, their biggest growth would actually come from overcoming those
insecurities, which would then make them
better as a coach or make them better as a leader or make them better as a principal or a teacher
or whatever it is versus going, oh, I just need to learn more. At some point in time,
learning becomes too much learning. For everything in life, there is a point of diminishing return.
And some people, we all know them, just continue to keep going to school and then going to school
and going to school and they get another degree and another degree and another degree simply because they need
to quote unquote learn more because they're quote unquote not ready yet. When in reality,
sometimes what it is, they're just afraid to get out into the real world and get rejection.
Because when we get rejected, what does that mean? That it means that somebody literally rejected us
and we have to come in and turn with our insecurities. We have to understand that our insecurities are going
to come up at that point. And I always call the difference between studying versus training.
Studying versus training. Studying is they act like they're doing something and we tell ourselves,
oh yeah, I'm a thinker. I need to learn more before I take any action. You know what? I need to read a book
every single week and then I'll be ready to grow my business at the end of this year.
And so what we do, and this is very important for everyone to understand,
sometimes what we do is we try to trick ourselves into thinking that we're taking action by studying
or by learning more or by acquiring more information.
When in reality, what we're trying to do is we're trying to delay the inevitable
of actually, if we're talking about growing a business, actually growing the business
or actually stepping out there and really getting into our own personal development.
And it's like the difference between someone who, like imagine if, let's make it real easy.
Imagine if there was a basketball player and they were just watching all of the videos of basketball games and watching basketball games and watching basketball games.
And they're like, I'm just trying to get better. I'm just trying to get better. I'm just trying
to get better. Eventually be like, hey dude, the only way that you're going to get better
is by actually going out onto the basketball court. That's the only way that you're going
to get better. You're not going to learn how to shoot the shot until you miss a bunch of shots.
But in reality, because of the fact that they
might be afraid of missing those shots, they're telling themselves, I need to learn more about
basketball. I need to watch more basketball games because they're afraid of missing shots.
And so a lot of times what we'll do as humans is we will disguise our insecurities as learning more
and needing to learn more. When in reality, the best thing we can do is actually
get onto the floor, actually go on and make some shots, miss some shots, get some shots blocked,
get some balls stolen from us. And then we start to learn what we should do and what we shouldn't
do. And that's where the training comes in. At some point in time, you've got to get on the field.
You've got to stop being so damn indecisive and just make a decision.
You are either doing it or you're not doing it. You got to shit or you got to get off the pot.
That's all that there is. You're either doing it or you're not doing it. And if you decide,
okay, I'm doing it, well, then you need to get on the freaking basketball court.
You need to stop watching the videos. You need to stop disguising your insecurities as a need to learn more because you're not quote unquote ready yet, right? Training is going out
there and getting as close to the real thing as possible. Athletes watch film and then they have
to practice. So what is it that's going on in your life that maybe you need to do some more practice?
You need to get yourself onto the field and you need to stop being afraid and being insecure and
also being indecisive. Because being indecisive a lot of times
is not the fear of making the wrong choice.
A lot of times being indecisive
is the fear of your insecurities coming up
if you do go out and make that decision to do something.
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Blinkist.com slash mindset. One of my friends, I've told this story a bunch of times before
on the podcast, but one of my friends was really insecure about his business. He had a business
that was doing millions of dollars per year and he was crushing it. He was only in his 20s. He was
making a bunch of money, more money than any of his friends, all of that stuff. And he was on a walk with his mentor. And he was like,
man, this is going so well. How do you feel about the business? And my friend was like,
you know what, man? In reality, I'm hating it. He's like, I hate that every single time I get
a customer service email about a product breaking or something like that, that I just want to shut
it all down. And he goes, yeah, that makes sense. It's because you're insecure. My friend was like,
what do you mean? Why would I be insecure about it? He goes, you're insecure. So if you're feeling,
if you're triggered by these emails coming in in some sort of way, it's because you're insecure.
And he goes, how does that make any sense? He goes, I'll give you an example. He goes,
if a lady came up to you right now and said, hey, you have ugly pink hair,
what would you think? And he's like, I would think that she's crazy because I don't have pink hair.
And he goes, yeah. So when someone says something to you, and it has nothing to do with truth
inside of you, you don't get insecure and you don't feel anything about it, right? And he goes,
yeah, of course not. He goes, so the reason why you're so insecure about your business
is because every single time a customer service email comes in, there's a part of you that's
insecure that it's triggering. And so a lot of times, the reason why I bring this story up is
because sometimes we won't even start the business that we want, or we won't go after whatever it is
that we want because we're literally thinking about these customer service emails before they even happen. And so subconsciously, I think this
is what happens. We have a conscious mind, we have a subconscious mind. Your conscious mind
wants success. Your conscious mind wants to be happy, to make money, to have fun, to travel the
world, do whatever it is that you want to do. Your conscious mind wants all of the amazing things,
but your insecurities are hiding inside of the subconscious mind. And the conscious mind is the slave to the
subconscious mind. 5% of what you do is conscious, 95% of what you do is unconscious coming from the
subconscious. And so what you have to realize is that you might consciously, if we're using
building a business as an example, you might consciously want to build that business, but you're still not doing it yet. You still have some mental resistance to it and you can't figure
out why it is. Or you're telling yourself you need to plan more, or you need to do some product,
more research and development, or you need to read some more books, or you need to go to more
conferences, or you need this, or you need this, or you need this. When in reality, what that is,
is your subconscious trying to hold you back from taking the action that you need this. When in reality, what that is, is your subconscious trying to hold you back
from taking the action that you need to because it knows that going out and creating that business
or doing whatever it is that you want to do is going to push you out of your comfort zone.
It's going to make you uncomfortable and it's going to bring up all of your insecurities and
it's going to be a lot of work. It's going to be ups, it's going to be downs. It's going to be
ups, it's going to be downs. And it's trying to keep you out of your comfort zone, keep you inside of
your comfort zone of fear of leaving the comfort zone. And so it says stuff like, hey, you're not
ready yet. Maybe you should do some more research. Maybe you should read some more books. Maybe you
should go to more conferences. And it's bringing up all of these fake things that you need to do
when in reality, all you need to do is actually take action. Does that make sense to you? So you're actually holding yourself back from the one thing that
will cause the most growth for you in your life, which is the taking action and learning and
growing and failing. And when you fail, learning from those failures. But for so many people,
failure can feel like, you know, falling can feel like, oh my God,
I just failed so big. It's so bad. But failure in my mind, nothing is a failure until you give up
on it. And so if you mess up and you mess up and you mess up and you mess up, that's fine. That's
going to happen. But you don't fail at something until you finally give up on it. And if you
learned along the way, did you really fail it in the first place? In my opinion, I don't think so. And so I'm curious with you, is there something that you
are delaying you're doing or you're still indecisive on in some place in your life where
you know that you need to move forward? Maybe it's a relationship that you're in and you're like,
I don't know if I should be with this person or shouldn't be with this person. Maybe we should
have a conversation, but maybe you are delaying the conversation that needs to be had because you're afraid of what
might come up or you're afraid of maybe losing them or you're afraid of maybe them changing
or maybe you changing too much. And it's scary because it's outside of your comfort zone.
Or is there a piece of you that's delaying starting a business because of the fact that
you are afraid to go out there and fail in some sort of way. Or maybe you've seen people that you love fail in their businesses at some point in time,
and you've seen them do it and think to yourself, man, if they can't do it, there's no way I can do
it. And so you kind of disguise your insecurities and your fears as, well, maybe I should learn some
more. Maybe I should go to some more conferences. Are you delaying going to the gym and forcing
yourself to work out and eating the
healthy food that you want to simply because you're like, well, you know what? I need to get
some more fitness routines. I need to wait a little bit longer to make sure that I have enough time
for my fitness. Because what happens is if you're delaying at something, if you're delaying at
something that you feel like you should truly be doing, there's something behind that. What is it
that's behind that? Is there a fear that's behind it? What are you afraid of? Is there an insecurity that's behind it? What are you insecure
of? Because ultimately, the taking the action that you need to, to be decisive first off,
then to decide what it is that you want and to actually go, I'm going to take action on this,
is one of the biggest things that you'll ever do in your life. Because once you actually take
the action, all of the things that you need to work on are going to come to the surface.
If it's going back to working on your business, you're going to have a lot of insecurities of
failure come up. You're going to have insecurities of other people's opinions. You're going to have
other insecurities of, what are my friends going to say when I decide that I want to
open this company when they know I went to school to be a doctor? Whatever it is that you, I went to school to be an engineer,
and now I'm going to be opening up an Etsy shop. They're going to think that I'm crazy,
right? So then what we do is we disguise all of our insecurities as I'm not ready yet. Well,
maybe I should, you know, maybe this isn't the right year. Maybe I should wait till the economy
kind of chills out and we don't know what's going to be going on with, you know with COVID and all those things as well. Maybe I should just hold off a little bit. Because where
you're delaying, you usually have some fears and you have some insecurities. What the best thing
for you to do is to get a pen and paper and ask yourself, what am I afraid of? What am I afraid of?
And what are my insecurities around this? And here's the thing that you have to do. You have
to get a pen and paper and you have to write these things down. What am I afraid of? If there's something I'm
delaying, what am I afraid of? What are my fears? What are my insecurities around this thing?
And you write it down with pen and paper. Here's the reason why. It's because when things are
inside of your head and only inside of your head, they're pretty abstract. They're kind of weird.
It's like, I don't know. I'm not really sure how I'm thinking. I don't know how I'm feeling.
But when you write something down, you can physically see it with pen and paper. It usually
makes it a lot easier to start to process something and work through it. And I'll give
you a really good example for this. If I gave you a really complex math problem, would I expect you,
like, would you ever just be able to take the math problem and do it in your head? Most likely,
no. What would you want to do? You want to write it down. Like, even if it wasn't a complex math
problem, but it was like 147 times 26, right? Majority of people listening to this probably couldn't do that
math problem in your head, but you could do it much better if you had pen and paper. So why are
you trying to figure out your most complex mental and physical issues inside of your head versus
putting them down on paper and going, you know what? Let me figure out, okay, I'm delaying it this. What are you delaying it? Okay, I'm delaying it this. What
am I afraid of with this? What are my insecurities around this? And writing it down and actually
starting to process on paper, whatever it is that you're going through. And I guarantee you,
there's going to be aha moments of like, oh shit, I'm afraid of starting that business.
Because I remember seeing my uncle fail at businesses when I was a kid and it scared the shit out of me. And I don't know if, you know,
and he's like my idol. And if he failed at businesses, there's no way that I could be
good at a business. And you realize that you thought you were just waiting for the right time
or you needed more information or you needed another course. But in reality, what you're
afraid of is actually the fact that you're afraid of
failing in your business because your uncle failed at his businesses. And you're like, holy shit,
I never knew that this was a thing. And so you have to realize if you're delaying at something,
there's a reason why. And it's usually a fear and it's usually an insecurity.
Take out a pen and paper, figure out what that thing is. And you've got to say, okay,
I'm either doing it or I'm not doing it. It's black or white. There is no gray. So the question is, am I doing this thing or am I not
doing this thing? If you are, take action immediately. Ready, fire, aim. If you're not,
get it off your plate, move on with your life and figure out something else that you're going to
work through. Because ultimately, that is how you become decisive is by taking quick thoughts,
turning them into decisions, and then taking action immediately.
And if it's something that is not something
that you're going to be working on,
getting it off your plate immediately
so that you can take action
towards whatever it is that you want.
So that's what I got for you for today's episode.
If you love this episode, please do me a favor
and go ahead and share it on your Instagram stories
and tag me in it, RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.
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and you want to follow me on Instagram, once again, it is RobDialJr. And I'm going to leave
you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone
else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.