The Mindset Mentor - How to Stop Being Indecisive

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

If you are thinking too much about what action is the right one to take, then you’re not taking action! That means we need to make sure that you get rid of your indecisiveness ASAP because it is hol...ding you back from creating a life you want! Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button since you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you live in the United States or Canada, and you want to receive motivational text messages from me, text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. Today, we're going to talk about how to get past your indecisiveness. Because ultimately, if you're sitting around thinking and trying to make an educated decision, you're actually delaying either your success or your failure for whatever it is that you're trying to work through. And I know a lot of people that are listening are indecisive. And we're going to talk about
Starting point is 00:00:48 what that's like and how to get past it. But really what it comes down to is taking action sometimes without knowing what's coming up. Here's the phrase that I live by, ready, fire, aim. Ready, fire, aim means get ready, figure out what you're going to do, fire, and then change whatever it is that you're doing depending on how it went. So like if somebody was breaking into your house, you had a gun in your house and they were running at you, you wouldn't be like, well, let me make sure that I'm getting the perfect shot before I go ahead and shoot. No, you'd be like, oh my God, they're going to attack me and my family. You would just shoot. And then after
Starting point is 00:01:21 you see where the bullets went, you would then decide, oh, you know what I need to do? I need to re-aim at some point in time. That's how life is as well. Too many people need too many, before they take any action, they need to figure out exactly every single step of the plan before they take any action. So they're like, I need to plan and then need to plan and then need to plan on top of my planning and then need to plan on top of my planning again. And then finally, I'm going to feel like I should take some action. But in reality, that's not usually the way that success works. Do you need to plan? Of course. But one thing that you can do is you can ready, fire, aim. Ready means you do a little bit of planning. Fire, which means you go, you mess up, you make mistakes, you see what works,
Starting point is 00:02:00 you see what doesn't work. And after you see what works, you see what doesn't work, you make some adjustments, and then you aim after it. Instead of getting caught up in the indecision and what if I make a wrong choice and all of that stuff. One of my girlfriends in high school, her dad, who I was close to, he used to always say this phrase and it stuck with me ever since. Whenever I'd be indecisive or she would be indecisive or someone else in their family would be indecisive, he said, hey guys, are you going to shit or are you going to get off the pot? Like that's what he said. Are you going to shit or are you going to get off the pot?
Starting point is 00:02:28 Which basically means like, are you going to do it or are you not going to do it? There's no in between. It's either white or black. There's no gray in between. Are you going to do it or are you not going to do it? It's like Yoda says, right? Do or do not, there is no try.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Don't try to do it. Don't think too much about it. It's either you're all in or you're all out. You've got to make a decision at some point in time though. Am I all into this or am I all out of this? Not, oh, let me sit around and think about it. Let me learn more and let me take some more time and let me take another couple of weeks. And I want to be sure that everyone understands, I'm not saying there's not value in taking a step back and looking at a situation and assessing a situation and making a little bit of a plan, but there's a lot more value in figuring out what it is you want to do, making a short plan, executing, and then figuring out
Starting point is 00:03:10 what works, what doesn't work, and then reassessing from there. Too many people hide their insecurities as, oh, I'm just a planner, or, oh, I'm just a perfectionist, or, oh, I need to make sure that everything has to be perfect before I take the right action. And a lot of people will actually hide their insecurities behind the planning, hide it behind the, I need to learn more information. One of the things that I talked about on last week's episode is that a lot of times, I coach coaches. I teach coaches how to grow online coaching businesses. And sometimes people will come in and they're like,
Starting point is 00:03:42 well, I want to learn more about myself. I need to do more work myself. And I probably need to do some more meditating. I probably need to go to more conferences. And sometimes people will come in and they're like, well, I want to learn more about myself. I need to do more work myself. And I probably need to do some more meditating. I probably need to go to more conferences. I probably need to, besides going to the conferences, I probably need to read like 15 more books before I ever go and get some more clients. And sure, will those help with someone's personal development? Will that help with someone's growth? Absolutely. But one of the biggest pieces of personal development that someone will ever do is grow their business. Why? Because as you're growing your business and you're putting yourself out there, all of your insecurities are going to come up. All of them. Every single one of them is
Starting point is 00:04:15 going to come up and you're going to have to navigate through them. And so sometimes what we do is because we know that we're in, maybe subconsciously know that we're insecure and that we're trying to run away from things. What we do is we say, oh, I need to learn more. Oh, I need to study some more. Oh, I need to read another book. Oh, I need to go to another conference. I need to do this. I need to do this. I need to do this. When in reality, if somebody would just take the action and allow all of their insecurities to come up, their biggest growth would actually come from overcoming those insecurities, which would then make them better as a coach or make them better as a leader or make them better as a principal or a teacher
Starting point is 00:04:49 or whatever it is versus going, oh, I just need to learn more. At some point in time, learning becomes too much learning. For everything in life, there is a point of diminishing return. And some people, we all know them, just continue to keep going to school and then going to school and going to school and they get another degree and another degree and another degree simply because they need to quote unquote learn more because they're quote unquote not ready yet. When in reality, sometimes what it is, they're just afraid to get out into the real world and get rejection. Because when we get rejected, what does that mean? That it means that somebody literally rejected us and we have to come in and turn with our insecurities. We have to understand that our insecurities are going
Starting point is 00:05:26 to come up at that point. And I always call the difference between studying versus training. Studying versus training. Studying is they act like they're doing something and we tell ourselves, oh yeah, I'm a thinker. I need to learn more before I take any action. You know what? I need to read a book every single week and then I'll be ready to grow my business at the end of this year. And so what we do, and this is very important for everyone to understand, sometimes what we do is we try to trick ourselves into thinking that we're taking action by studying or by learning more or by acquiring more information. When in reality, what we're trying to do is we're trying to delay the inevitable
Starting point is 00:06:09 of actually, if we're talking about growing a business, actually growing the business or actually stepping out there and really getting into our own personal development. And it's like the difference between someone who, like imagine if, let's make it real easy. Imagine if there was a basketball player and they were just watching all of the videos of basketball games and watching basketball games and watching basketball games. And they're like, I'm just trying to get better. I'm just trying to get better. I'm just trying to get better. Eventually be like, hey dude, the only way that you're going to get better is by actually going out onto the basketball court. That's the only way that you're going to get better. You're not going to learn how to shoot the shot until you miss a bunch of shots.
Starting point is 00:06:43 But in reality, because of the fact that they might be afraid of missing those shots, they're telling themselves, I need to learn more about basketball. I need to watch more basketball games because they're afraid of missing shots. And so a lot of times what we'll do as humans is we will disguise our insecurities as learning more and needing to learn more. When in reality, the best thing we can do is actually get onto the floor, actually go on and make some shots, miss some shots, get some shots blocked, get some balls stolen from us. And then we start to learn what we should do and what we shouldn't do. And that's where the training comes in. At some point in time, you've got to get on the field.
Starting point is 00:07:21 You've got to stop being so damn indecisive and just make a decision. You are either doing it or you're not doing it. You got to shit or you got to get off the pot. That's all that there is. You're either doing it or you're not doing it. And if you decide, okay, I'm doing it, well, then you need to get on the freaking basketball court. You need to stop watching the videos. You need to stop disguising your insecurities as a need to learn more because you're not quote unquote ready yet, right? Training is going out there and getting as close to the real thing as possible. Athletes watch film and then they have to practice. So what is it that's going on in your life that maybe you need to do some more practice? You need to get yourself onto the field and you need to stop being afraid and being insecure and
Starting point is 00:08:02 also being indecisive. Because being indecisive a lot of times is not the fear of making the wrong choice. A lot of times being indecisive is the fear of your insecurities coming up if you do go out and make that decision to do something. Hey, is there something that's interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals?
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Starting point is 00:09:24 And one of the ways to do that is through books. Books have always been and will always be one of the most essential pieces of learning and growing. And that's why Blinkist is so amazing. Although many books have great content, a lot of them have what I like to call fluff stories. Stories that are put into the book to hammer home a point. But if you've already got the point, there's no need to have five or six stories about the same freaking point. And Blinkist can give you all of the most important ideas and key takeaways from the world's top nonfiction bestsellers, all in 15-minute reads or listens. You can use these Blinkists to get inspiration, learn about the books you've been
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Starting point is 00:10:20 That's Blinkist, spell B-L-I-N-K-I-S-T.com slash mindset for 25% off and the seven-day free trial, Blinkist.com slash mindset. One of my friends, I've told this story a bunch of times before on the podcast, but one of my friends was really insecure about his business. He had a business that was doing millions of dollars per year and he was crushing it. He was only in his 20s. He was making a bunch of money, more money than any of his friends, all of that stuff. And he was on a walk with his mentor. And he was like, man, this is going so well. How do you feel about the business? And my friend was like, you know what, man? In reality, I'm hating it. He's like, I hate that every single time I get a customer service email about a product breaking or something like that, that I just want to shut
Starting point is 00:11:04 it all down. And he goes, yeah, that makes sense. It's because you're insecure. My friend was like, what do you mean? Why would I be insecure about it? He goes, you're insecure. So if you're feeling, if you're triggered by these emails coming in in some sort of way, it's because you're insecure. And he goes, how does that make any sense? He goes, I'll give you an example. He goes, if a lady came up to you right now and said, hey, you have ugly pink hair, what would you think? And he's like, I would think that she's crazy because I don't have pink hair. And he goes, yeah. So when someone says something to you, and it has nothing to do with truth inside of you, you don't get insecure and you don't feel anything about it, right? And he goes,
Starting point is 00:11:44 yeah, of course not. He goes, so the reason why you're so insecure about your business is because every single time a customer service email comes in, there's a part of you that's insecure that it's triggering. And so a lot of times, the reason why I bring this story up is because sometimes we won't even start the business that we want, or we won't go after whatever it is that we want because we're literally thinking about these customer service emails before they even happen. And so subconsciously, I think this is what happens. We have a conscious mind, we have a subconscious mind. Your conscious mind wants success. Your conscious mind wants to be happy, to make money, to have fun, to travel the world, do whatever it is that you want to do. Your conscious mind wants all of the amazing things,
Starting point is 00:12:23 but your insecurities are hiding inside of the subconscious mind. And the conscious mind is the slave to the subconscious mind. 5% of what you do is conscious, 95% of what you do is unconscious coming from the subconscious. And so what you have to realize is that you might consciously, if we're using building a business as an example, you might consciously want to build that business, but you're still not doing it yet. You still have some mental resistance to it and you can't figure out why it is. Or you're telling yourself you need to plan more, or you need to do some product, more research and development, or you need to read some more books, or you need to go to more conferences, or you need this, or you need this, or you need this. When in reality, what that is, is your subconscious trying to hold you back from taking the action that you need this. When in reality, what that is, is your subconscious trying to hold you back
Starting point is 00:13:05 from taking the action that you need to because it knows that going out and creating that business or doing whatever it is that you want to do is going to push you out of your comfort zone. It's going to make you uncomfortable and it's going to bring up all of your insecurities and it's going to be a lot of work. It's going to be ups, it's going to be downs. It's going to be ups, it's going to be downs. And it's trying to keep you out of your comfort zone, keep you inside of your comfort zone of fear of leaving the comfort zone. And so it says stuff like, hey, you're not ready yet. Maybe you should do some more research. Maybe you should read some more books. Maybe you should go to more conferences. And it's bringing up all of these fake things that you need to do
Starting point is 00:13:41 when in reality, all you need to do is actually take action. Does that make sense to you? So you're actually holding yourself back from the one thing that will cause the most growth for you in your life, which is the taking action and learning and growing and failing. And when you fail, learning from those failures. But for so many people, failure can feel like, you know, falling can feel like, oh my God, I just failed so big. It's so bad. But failure in my mind, nothing is a failure until you give up on it. And so if you mess up and you mess up and you mess up and you mess up, that's fine. That's going to happen. But you don't fail at something until you finally give up on it. And if you learned along the way, did you really fail it in the first place? In my opinion, I don't think so. And so I'm curious with you, is there something that you
Starting point is 00:14:28 are delaying you're doing or you're still indecisive on in some place in your life where you know that you need to move forward? Maybe it's a relationship that you're in and you're like, I don't know if I should be with this person or shouldn't be with this person. Maybe we should have a conversation, but maybe you are delaying the conversation that needs to be had because you're afraid of what might come up or you're afraid of maybe losing them or you're afraid of maybe them changing or maybe you changing too much. And it's scary because it's outside of your comfort zone. Or is there a piece of you that's delaying starting a business because of the fact that you are afraid to go out there and fail in some sort of way. Or maybe you've seen people that you love fail in their businesses at some point in time,
Starting point is 00:15:08 and you've seen them do it and think to yourself, man, if they can't do it, there's no way I can do it. And so you kind of disguise your insecurities and your fears as, well, maybe I should learn some more. Maybe I should go to some more conferences. Are you delaying going to the gym and forcing yourself to work out and eating the healthy food that you want to simply because you're like, well, you know what? I need to get some more fitness routines. I need to wait a little bit longer to make sure that I have enough time for my fitness. Because what happens is if you're delaying at something, if you're delaying at something that you feel like you should truly be doing, there's something behind that. What is it
Starting point is 00:15:43 that's behind that? Is there a fear that's behind it? What are you afraid of? Is there an insecurity that's behind it? What are you insecure of? Because ultimately, the taking the action that you need to, to be decisive first off, then to decide what it is that you want and to actually go, I'm going to take action on this, is one of the biggest things that you'll ever do in your life. Because once you actually take the action, all of the things that you need to work on are going to come to the surface. If it's going back to working on your business, you're going to have a lot of insecurities of failure come up. You're going to have insecurities of other people's opinions. You're going to have other insecurities of, what are my friends going to say when I decide that I want to
Starting point is 00:16:22 open this company when they know I went to school to be a doctor? Whatever it is that you, I went to school to be an engineer, and now I'm going to be opening up an Etsy shop. They're going to think that I'm crazy, right? So then what we do is we disguise all of our insecurities as I'm not ready yet. Well, maybe I should, you know, maybe this isn't the right year. Maybe I should wait till the economy kind of chills out and we don't know what's going to be going on with, you know with COVID and all those things as well. Maybe I should just hold off a little bit. Because where you're delaying, you usually have some fears and you have some insecurities. What the best thing for you to do is to get a pen and paper and ask yourself, what am I afraid of? What am I afraid of? And what are my insecurities around this? And here's the thing that you have to do. You have
Starting point is 00:17:02 to get a pen and paper and you have to write these things down. What am I afraid of? If there's something I'm delaying, what am I afraid of? What are my fears? What are my insecurities around this thing? And you write it down with pen and paper. Here's the reason why. It's because when things are inside of your head and only inside of your head, they're pretty abstract. They're kind of weird. It's like, I don't know. I'm not really sure how I'm thinking. I don't know how I'm feeling. But when you write something down, you can physically see it with pen and paper. It usually makes it a lot easier to start to process something and work through it. And I'll give you a really good example for this. If I gave you a really complex math problem, would I expect you,
Starting point is 00:17:36 like, would you ever just be able to take the math problem and do it in your head? Most likely, no. What would you want to do? You want to write it down. Like, even if it wasn't a complex math problem, but it was like 147 times 26, right? Majority of people listening to this probably couldn't do that math problem in your head, but you could do it much better if you had pen and paper. So why are you trying to figure out your most complex mental and physical issues inside of your head versus putting them down on paper and going, you know what? Let me figure out, okay, I'm delaying it this. What are you delaying it? Okay, I'm delaying it this. What am I afraid of with this? What are my insecurities around this? And writing it down and actually starting to process on paper, whatever it is that you're going through. And I guarantee you,
Starting point is 00:18:18 there's going to be aha moments of like, oh shit, I'm afraid of starting that business. Because I remember seeing my uncle fail at businesses when I was a kid and it scared the shit out of me. And I don't know if, you know, and he's like my idol. And if he failed at businesses, there's no way that I could be good at a business. And you realize that you thought you were just waiting for the right time or you needed more information or you needed another course. But in reality, what you're afraid of is actually the fact that you're afraid of failing in your business because your uncle failed at his businesses. And you're like, holy shit, I never knew that this was a thing. And so you have to realize if you're delaying at something,
Starting point is 00:18:54 there's a reason why. And it's usually a fear and it's usually an insecurity. Take out a pen and paper, figure out what that thing is. And you've got to say, okay, I'm either doing it or I'm not doing it. It's black or white. There is no gray. So the question is, am I doing this thing or am I not doing this thing? If you are, take action immediately. Ready, fire, aim. If you're not, get it off your plate, move on with your life and figure out something else that you're going to work through. Because ultimately, that is how you become decisive is by taking quick thoughts, turning them into decisions, and then taking action immediately. And if it's something that is not something
Starting point is 00:19:28 that you're going to be working on, getting it off your plate immediately so that you can take action towards whatever it is that you want. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor and go ahead and share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.
Starting point is 00:19:43 I also put up videos and pictures and quotes and all kinds of stuff to motivate you and inspire you as much as possible. So if you're out there and you want to follow me on Instagram, once again, it is RobDialJr. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.

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