The Mindset Mentor - How to Stop Holding Yourself Back

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you are in the US or Canada, text me right now to get motivational text messages directly to your cell phone. 1-512-580-9305. Once again, 1-512-580-9305. Today, we're going to give you a kick in the ass that you need to get your life going in the direction that you want to. Here's the reason why. Because in life, you have two choices and only two choices. It's very simple. People try to make it way harder than it needs to be. Choice number one, you create the life that you want to, the success that you want, the money that you want,

Starting point is 00:00:51 the happiness that you want, the love that you want, the joy that you want, the peace that you want. That's one way that you could go. Or the other way is you don't get it. So you either are a success in life or you're a failure in life. There is no other option between the two. Now, when I say success, I don't just mean financial success. What I mean is you have

Starting point is 00:01:10 this opportunity, this life that you're currently in to create the life that you want to. You either do it or you don't. That's it. And if you do, that is a success. If you don't, that is a failure. And if you do, that is a success. If you don't, that is a failure. So we're looking at it in the simplest form that we possibly can. There's two choices. You either get the life that you want to or you don't get the life that you want to.

Starting point is 00:01:33 Those are the only two ways that you could go. There's no in between. There's no like trial time. There's no second at bat that you get. But people tend to act as if there is like, it's either black or white in life. People act like there's a gray area. Like, well, maybe if I wait about 15 years, then maybe somehow I will just get everything that I want by not changing my circumstances and I'll get everything that I

Starting point is 00:01:54 want. I'll get the money I want, the happiness that I want, even though all I do is just sit on Instagram all day when I'm not at work or I'm on Netflix. Maybe my perfect partner will just come knocking at my door while I'm sitting there on Netflix. Or maybe my perfect body will come in if I just keep eating the same shitty food. Either you do it or you don't. There is no other options. You get the life that you want to, or you don't get the life that you want to. Ultimately, it comes down to, are you going to make excuses or are you going to get results? That's it. You can make excuses if you want to, or you can get results. Which one are you going to do? Which one have you been doing? If you look around you and you don't have the life that you want at this point,

Starting point is 00:02:39 have you been getting the results that you want to? Because results come from action. you been getting the results that you want to? Because results come from action. Or have you been making excuses as to why you have not gotten the results that you want? Right? It's like growing up, you just, my dog ate my homework turns into just another excuse or blame for something else. And people are just, my dog ate my homework in everything in their life. Oh, I don't have the money that I want because my dog ate my homework. Whatever that excuse means for them. I don't have the relationship I want because my dog ate my homework. I don't have the happiness that I want because my dog ate my homework. No, you either get what you want or you don't. You either make excuses or you get results. That's it. There's no other option. And if you've been listening to me

Starting point is 00:03:22 long enough, you know that I like to say excuses are like buttholes. Everybody's got one and they all stink. So do you want to make excuses or do you want to get results? Because there's always, no matter what, no matter what you have in life, no matter how your life was, no matter how your parents were,

Starting point is 00:03:39 no matter what your current life circumstances are, there is always an excuse that you could find as to why you don't have whatever it is that you want, right? Oh, I don't have enough time. How many people out there have said, I don't have enough time? As if the people who do have the lives that they want magically get more than 24 hours in the day. Oh, I don't have enough time. Change, I don't have enough time to I don't give a damn and see if that starts to change the way that you perceive it. I don't have enough time or I don't give a damn. I don't have enough time to create the life that I want. I don't give a damn enough

Starting point is 00:04:15 to create the life that I want. See if your perception starts to change. Don't use time as an excuse because everyone's got the exact same amount of time. Oh, it's not the right time though. Hear that one all the time. It's not the right time. Maybe in like, you know, maybe in three months it will be the right time for me to create the business that I've always wanted. Maybe in three months it will be the right time for me to create the body that I want. Maybe in three months it'll be the right time for me to go out and find that perfect relationship because three months from now looks a lot less busy than right now. Do you know why three months from now looks less busy? Because it's three months from now. Very rarely do we plan three months out. And so it's always going to look less busy than it does right now

Starting point is 00:04:59 because I guess, guess what? In three months, it's gonna look pretty damn busy. You won't have enough time again in three months. Do you, oh, you know what? I have kids. That's my excuse. Are you telling me that every person that's created the life that they want don't have kids? And you're just different? Oh, you just have kids?

Starting point is 00:05:17 I always ask people, you know, when people blame their kids, which I think is the biggest cop-out, is blaming their kids. Your kids should never be your excuse as to why you don't have the life that you want. Your kids should always be the reason why you create the life that you want for them. You can use them as an excuse or you can use them as your why. Which one do you want? Because ultimately that's what's going to change your life. I always say to people when they use their children as an excuse, oh, so you're telling

Starting point is 00:05:44 me before you had your children, you were super successful and you had the life that you wanted and you had all the joy and the money and the peace and the happiness and the cars and the clothes and whatever it is that you wanted? Oh, you didn't? So what you're doing is you're just actually using your children as your scapegoat instead of actually looking internally and blaming yourself for your circumstances and knowing that you can change it. Right? Don't use your children as an excuse. It's not their fault that they were born into this world. So you can't use them as an excuse. You have to use them as the reason why you will succeed. I coach business owners. I've consulted business owners for over a decade now. Some business owners come in and say, well, yeah,

Starting point is 00:06:22 no, my business isn't succeeding because I've got children. I'm like, okay, cool. And then some people come in and they go, listen, I'm a single mother. I've got to make this shit work. And they work their ass off. And they've got two, three, or four kids and no one else supporting them. And they're more, they become more successful than the people who have everything that they need, but happen to have kids. Because why? The person, the single mom decided not to make them an excuse. She decided to make them a reason why. Her back was against the wall and she's going to do it no matter what. That's the difference. Don't use your children as an excuse. Everybody loves to use their children as an excuse. Please don't do that.

Starting point is 00:07:01 Oh yeah, I don't have enough knowledge to be able to do it, or I don't have the right skill set to be able to do it. We live in the age where every piece of knowledge you could ever want across anything that's ever happened in the world is basically close to free. If you want to go start a business, if you want to go start an e-commerce business and start selling something on Etsy or selling something on Shopify or selling something on Amazon. You can get a lot of free knowledge on YouTube if you want to. Now, will you maybe have to buy a course to get really in-depth step-by-step-by-step knowledge? Sure. You might have to let go of some of your money in order to get the knowledge that you need, but it will probably be a great investment as long as you take action. Because too many people

Starting point is 00:07:44 buy a course, and then they make excuses as to why the course didn't work, when in reality, it wasn't the course that didn't work. It was them that didn't work. Hey, you're not still running your business on QuickBooks, are you? The bigger your company grows, the faster that you sync with outdated software that just can't keep up with you. You don't have time to keep spending with doing manual processes, multiple systems, delays, and scrambling to get the numbers that you need. It's time to get on solid ground. And NetSuite by Oracle gives you the visibility and the control over your financials, inventory, HR, e-commerce, and more. Everything that you need all in one place. And NetSuite

Starting point is 00:08:19 helps you automate your key business processes and close your books in a fraction of the time. Think days, not weeks. In fact, 93% of surveyed organizations increase their visibility and control over their businesses since making a switch from QuickBooks to NetSuite. And right now, NetSuite is offering a one-of-a-kind financing program only for those who are ready to graduate from QuickBooks. So head to netsuite.com slash dial. That's special financing for you QuickBooks graduates at netsuite.com slash dial. That is netsuite.com slash dial. You can either have excuse or you can have results. Which one is it that you want? Right? Oh yeah, no. I don't know. There's just so much going on in the world right now. Maybe

Starting point is 00:09:00 I'll wait until things change and things die down. I don't know about you, but it doesn't look like things are changing too much. The past few years, it just seems like things keep getting crazier. So if we're just looking at this as a graph, it doesn't look like things are slowing down in any sort of way. So maybe I look at it instead of saying, okay, with all of the stuff that's happening in the world right now, instead of me saying right now isn't the right time, or maybe there's too much going on in the world right now, maybe I look at it and say, hey, if I go back and I look what Warren Buffett's, one of his most famous quotes, Warren Buffett, billionaire investor, says, when everyone is greedy, be fearful. When everyone is fearful, be greedy. And I remember last year thinking of that quote when COVID hit really hard

Starting point is 00:09:44 in lockdown. And I thought, so I started that quote when COVID hit really hard in lockdown. And I thought to myself, I started seeing people losing their jobs. I started companies firing people. And I thought to myself, this is not the time to pull back because everyone's being fearful right now. This is a time to go double down on everything that I'm doing, to hire the right people, put the right things in place. Because I'm going to do the exact opposite of everybody else in the world. Because if people are going left, I'm going to go right.

Starting point is 00:10:09 If people are going right, I'm going to go left. So maybe you should look at it and say, well, instead of me looking at what's going on in the world right now and being fearful, maybe I should look at it and say, you know what? Maybe with all of this pullback that people are doing, it leaves me so much more opportunity. If you look at how many businesses that are massive businesses, like I'm talking like marquee businesses that are around for 50 to 100 years, how many of them were started in a great, like a massive recession? It's like more than 50% of them. So when things are changing and things are shifting, it's not a time to be afraid. It's a time to double down and to go for it. So maybe you should use that as your reason

Starting point is 00:10:49 why you're doubling down and taking action versus not going, oh yeah, this isn't the right time. Maybe I should just wait and see if things pan out positively. There is never going to be a perfect moment to do whatever it is that you want. The perfect moment is always the moment that you are in. That's it.

Starting point is 00:11:11 There will never be a moment in your entire life where you will not be here and it will not be now, right? So if I ask you, where are you right now? You would say, I'm here. What time is it? It's now. Okay. If I'm thinking about the future, it seems like it's a different moment. But when I get to that future, I will be here in this moment and the time will be now. It is here and now always. Your life is always a here and now moment. So if you think that the future is going to be different than right now

Starting point is 00:11:44 and then is going to be different than right now, and then is going to be a better time for you to create the life that you want, it won't. Now is the time. You can find all of the excuses as to why you're not creating the life that you want. But ultimately, that's a trick that your brain is playing on you. So let me explain to you how your brain is actually screwing you over. Okay, So our brain is designed to do one thing and one thing only. It's to keep us safe, to keep us alive. And your brain knows that in this current moment with everything that you've done, you are not dead, which means that everything that you've done to get you here is safe enough because it didn't kill you. It doesn't know that if you don't,

Starting point is 00:12:21 you know, if you go out and want to create a million dollar business, the amygdala, the oldest part of your brain, the fear mechanism inside of your brain is going to go, we've never created a million dollar business before. We should be afraid of that because anything that is something that we've never done or actually had happened before, we should be afraid of because it's potential death that's there. You know that if you build a million dollar business, you're not going to die, but your amygdala doesn't know that. So what your amygdala does is it creates fears and excuses and self-sabotaging mechanisms to keep you in your comfort zone. So then you say, okay, you know what? Like for instance, here's an example. I want to build

Starting point is 00:13:00 a million dollar business and I've got a couple of kids. And I'm sitting there and I'm going, I've got the plan. I've got everything that I need. Because ultimately we all know, here's the secret to life. You know what you need to do to be successful, whatever success means to you. You know what you need to do. You're just not doing it. It's that simple. You just got to take action. So the plan to get there is not the most important part. The action taking is the most important part. So people will come up with this plan to create this business and their market strategy and their niche and their perfect clients, but then they won't take any action simply because they're afraid to take action because their brain has designed itself

Starting point is 00:13:37 to do that to keep you in your comfort zone. So then you've got to go, okay, so I've developed this perfect action plan and everything that I need to do to create this life. And you sit there and you go, oh, but yeah, but what if, oh yeah, but what if this happens? What if, you know, I want to create this, but what if, what if my mom says something about this? What if, you know, there's a catastrophe? What if I can't pay the bills and I have children I've got to feed? What if something happens with one of the kids and I don't have insurance? Whatever it is, your brain will start creating all of these fear-based beliefs and thoughts to keep you in your comfort zone. You've got to become aware that your brain is designed to self-sabotage you.

Starting point is 00:14:17 Because of that, I'm going to tell you something that's a beautiful thing. You don't have to believe in yourself to take action and you don't have to wait until fear is gone in order to take action. In fact, you're probably not going to fully believe in yourself majority of the time and you're not going to get rid of all of your fears. So knowing that your fears are not going to go away and that you're also at the same time going to find mechanisms of self-sabotage and you you're going to be afraid, and you're not going to want to do it, you're not going to believe in yourself, you can feel all of those feelings and take action anyway. That's the beautiful thing about it. You don't have to believe in yourself to take action, and you don't have to get rid of fear to take action. Your brain is designed to

Starting point is 00:14:57 keep you inside of your comfort zone. That's what it is designed to do, because in your comfort zone, you stay alive. So when you feel the feelings of fear, when you feel the self-sabotage coming up and the excuses coming up, that is actually what you should be paying attention to going, ah, I've met the edge of my comfort zone. So anything inside of this, if I take a step back is going to be in my comfort zone. But if I lean into this, it's going to be pushing me outside of my comfort zone. Just because I don't feel safe going and creating a million dollar business or because I have excuses of having a family or because I have excuses as to now is not the right time, doesn't mean that I don't take action anyways. Your life is changed only, only, only, only when you take action. If you're not taking action,

Starting point is 00:15:48 you're making excuses as to why you're not taking action. And you're believing those excuses. And all of those excuses, they're BS. And they're holding you back from what you want in life. So you have to realize either you sit back and you continue to listen to that little voice inside of your head that's keeping you in your comfort zone. You continue to make excuses and to self-sabotage and you'll wake up 10 years from today and it'll be like, fuck, why didn't I take the action when I should have? Or you feel the feelings, you feel the lack of belief. You feel the excuses. And you say, I don't care. I'm going to do it anyways. Don't care.

Starting point is 00:16:29 I don't care what my thoughts are. I don't care what my feelings are. I don't care what my excuses are. I don't care what my beliefs are. I'm going to do it anyways, simply because I deserve this life. I want to create this life. And the people that I love that are around me

Starting point is 00:16:41 deserve this life as well. Screw my excuses. Because you can either have the excuses or you can have results, but you can't have both. Which one are you going to choose? So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love.

Starting point is 00:16:58 Please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The only way that this podcast grows and more people get it is from you guys sharing it. So if you've ever gotten any piece of value from this, I would greatly appreciate if you would share it. And I'm gonna leave it the same way I leave you every single episode.

Starting point is 00:17:15 Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - How to Stop Holding Yourself Back

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.