The Mindset Mentor - How To Stop Numbing

Episode Date: May 12, 2023

Here’s the deal… Whether you think you are or are not guilty of this, I’ve found that almost EVERYBODY has something they’re “addicted” to. And it can go unnoticed for so long that by the time you realize you’re doing it… so much unnecessary damage gets caused. But you can be ahead of that trouble, by listening to this episode and learning: 1. Exactly how to identify whether or not you are actually doing anything to “numb” yourself …. 2. How you can quickly and effectively STOP doing that very thing. If you like this episode… Make sure to share it with someone that needs to hear it and help us get the message out there so that together we can help make people’s lives better and make the world a better place. And I almost forgot… I’m still offering out this special gift I put together just for everyone who listens to this podcast. It will actually help you start experiencing transformation in your life by discovering more of what there is to love about yourself… So while you’re doing your best to grow through what you go through.. Why not at least try out journaling? It’s a simple yet powerful and effective tool that can help you instantly improve the quality of your life. It can help you develop powerful habits, enhance your self awareness and emotional well being, overcome your self limiting beliefs, and so much more. Visit this link: (http://www.mindsetmentorjournal.com/mmu-video-training/ ) for a video I made just for you to help you get started on your transformation journey AND you’ll also get 30 days of written journal prompts that if followed, will help you get so much closer to building a life with more freedom than you can even imagine. Here are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@robdial?lang=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/themindsetmentee/ Or visit my Youtube page that is designed specifically for anyone desiring motivation, direction, and focus in life: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHl3aFKS0bY0d8JwqNysaeA Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, you'll probably love the journaling lesson I just created. I have a free video journaling lesson. If you go to mindsetmentorjournal.com, you can download the lesson absolutely free and get 30 free journaling prompts to help you get to know yourself a little bit more and go on this journey of journaling. So once again, it is mindsetmentorjournal.com to download it absolutely free. Today, we're going to be talking about stopping the numbing. We're going to talk about things that you might be addicted to and might not even know that you're addicted to it. But really what it comes down to is I have found

that almost everybody is numbing themselves in some sort of way. I did a podcast on numbing in the past, but I wanted to go more in depth speaking about numbing and speaking about, number one, why we do it, but also how it relates to our nervous system. So when you look at your nervous system, there's basically two different states in your nervous system. Neither one of these is good. Neither one of these is bad. Both of them are necessary. There is the sympathetic nervous system, which seems like it would be the one that people would prefer, which is, you know, you think sympathetic, it must be sympathy, it must be a good one. And then there's parasympathetic, right? So sympathetic is alertness, it's energy, it's fight or flight. It increases your heart rate. It increases your rate of breathing. Your pupils will dilate. That is what happens when you're in the sympathetic nervous system.

When you're in your parasympathetic and that clicks on, that is conserve and restore. That's where your heart rate will decrease and your rate of breathing will decrease. And in order to make it easier to understand, I'm actually going to take away the words sympathetic and parasympathetic. And I'm just going to say heightened and relaxed, right? So heightened and relaxed. So it makes more sense because when you hear sympathetic, parasympathetic, it's hard to get caught in. So there's heightened and then there's relaxed. So why does somebody numb? A lot of times it's to calm their nervous system, to go from heightened to relaxed. Because a lot of people lack the tools. I mean, we were never taught how to self-soothe. And a lot of adults, like a lot of adults, lack the tools to mentally and physically be able to take themselves from a

really heightened state, which could be anxious, which could be fight or flight, which could be stressed, to calm, cool, collected. So, you know, when you look at it, it's like a lot of people are kind of stuck in a heightened state and they lack the tools to be able to bring themselves down. You're in heightened, heightened, heightened, heightened, heightened, and you're like, I don't know how to bring myself down. What do they turn to? People turn to drugs. People turn to alcohol. People turn to having a glass of wine at the end of the day. A lot of people, like most people, the way that I find people getting into it is food.

Food will actually, because food causes, when you eat something that's really heavy, your body needs to digest. And digestion is a number one energy consuming thing that your body does. So in order for you to actually digest something that's heavy or be able to eat something and digest it, it will actually turn off parts of your other body and steal energy from it. So you go from heightened to relaxed, which is why so many people are addicted to food. And I would say that is probably the most common and overlooked addictions because when we look at food, food is necessary for life. And so we look at it and we think, oh, food is necessary for life. I must continue to eat this food because I have to stay alive. And so a lot of people have a

really, really strong emotional connection to food, but they don't take a step back a lot of times and look at their food and say, is this really supporting me in what I'm trying to do? Is this really the food that's nourishing my body versus me using it as an emotional numbing and coping technique? So if you have a problem with food, this episode might really make you understand yourself and help you understand yourself. You know, I have a friend who has always had a problem with weight the entire time that I've known this friend, you know, and he's wanted to be in shape. I don't know how many times I've heard him say he wants to be in shape. And I've known him for over a decade. And he works, and he works, and he works. And works, and works, and works throughout the entire day.

And then eats a ton of shitty food when he knows he shouldn't at the end of the day. Cheeses, fats, carbs, greasy stuff, complete body overload. I know a lot of people do this. And this is very common. I get a lot of messages of people asking about this and them doing this themselves. And you realize that even though they consciously know they shouldn't be eating this thing, they consciously don't want to be eating this thing. They consciously don't want to be eating it two o'clock in the morning, whatever it is. They're actually eating it. And a lot of people say they eat for comfort, but I also think a lot of people besides eating for comfort, they eat to actually self soothe. They eat to numb. And so there's many other ways. There's food, obviously, that you could do this with. There's drugs, there's alcohol, there is sex, there's working out,

there is sex, there's working out, there's working. And so for me, working for the longest time was my way of numbing. I would work, work, work, work, work to be running away from this thing that I didn't want to pay attention to, those emotional problems from when I was younger and traumas that I was running from because I'm so constantly busy working, I don't have enough time to look at those things. And so the hard part about that one for a lot of people that are workaholics is that being a workaholic is also rewarded and looked up upon. Like people are like, that's awesome. You work so hard. I wish I could work as hard as you. And it's actually kind of like, hey, good job for that. But you know, kind of the exact same thing as being a drug addict though. You know, it's like, that was my drug. That's many people's drug. And it's like going up to a drug addict and being like, hey, congratulations,

you're addicted to heroin. That's not the right thing to say to somebody. And so why do we do this? The reason why I do this is because we are in a heightened state all day long a lot of times, running from one thing to another thing, to another thing, to another thing, to another thing. We're constantly in a heightened state of emotion. And then we hear somebody talk about the news and how bad things are right now. So we're still in fight or flight. And so we have to figure out some sort of way where if we don't know how to bring ourself down to a calm, cool, relaxed state mentally and physically, we look for something outside of us a lot of times to be able to do that. Food, drugs, alcohol, sex, working out, all of those things are outside of us.

And working out's great, but working out can also be an addiction, right? I've been there before years ago. And so like I was saying with my friend, I see him and he's in a heightened state, all day long. He doesn't know how to shut it off. So how does he shut it off? He shuts it off by eating so much food that he's just literally like awake, but very lucid because it's just like his body needs to digest all of it. And that actually calms it down because digestion is the most energy consuming thing your body does. most energy consuming thing your body does. In digestion, send your body into parasympathetic, the relaxed, calm, peaceful. Therefore, food is his comfort because the food makes you feel relaxed and comfortable. A lot of people say like, oh, you know, I love wine and I just take,

you know, I just have a glass of wine at the end of the day just to, you know, be able to take the edge off, right? Listen, I love wine as well, but it's a fact that alcohol stays in your system for up to 80 hours. And the real question is, why is there an edge in the first place? What is the edge? And are we using a glass of wine to bring ourself down? And the reason why I can say this is because I noticed myself doing it years ago, right? Where it's just like work, work, work, work, work. And then it was like, oh my gosh, I'm just in such a heightened state. It's just easier to just have a glass of wine.

And then after that glass of wine hits, you're like, fuck it, man. Everything's amazing. Everything feels great. Right? And so it's like, you don't want to rely on anything outside of you to be able to do it though. Right? And so, you know, and then people are like, well, I have a glass of wine because it's supposed to be good for your heart. It's supposed to be good for you. Actually, if you want to know the fact on that, you could go back to my episode that I did with David Sinclair, who is actually one of the doctors where he created the study. And then the news took that study because they found that red wine has resveratrol in it. And because resveratrol is supposed to be good for your heart, they're like, wine is so good for your heart. It's full of antioxidants. He actually tells you in that podcast episode when I interviewed him that the

news and the media took their study and ran with it and started saying wine is good. In order to have enough resveratrol for actually to do really well for you, you'd have to have enough alcohol inside of your system and wine inside of your system to have something wrong with your liver. So if you're like, oh, I have a glass of wine because it's good for me. I love glasses of wine too. Love them, but it's not good for you, right? So it's also, you know, a lot of times it's a numbing mechanism. It's a coping mechanism. Really what it comes down to is can we start to learn to bring ourselves from a heightened state to a calm state without needing anything outside of us? Can we learn to be able to self-pacify without needing anything outside of us?

Most people would rather drink a glass of wine versus figure out why there's an edge in the first place, right? Most people would rather eat a whole bunch of food than figure out why they have an edge for the entire day. What is it that we're running from? Once again, what is it that makes us go into? What is it that makes me, what is it that makes you go into a heightened state? And why do we go towards food or towards alcohol or towards working out or towards sex or towards anything else that's out there versus developing tools to self-regulate? Tools like breathing, tools like meditation, tools like journaling to be in charge of your mental state. Breathing, I've said this, I don't even know how

many times this podcast episode. The quickest way to change your mental state. Breathing, I've said this, I don't even know how many times this podcast episode. The quickest way to change your internal state is to go to breathing. The very first thing you should do if you notice that you're in a heightened state and you're like, you know what, I want to turn towards drugs or I want to turn towards alcohol or I want to take a pill or I want to just eat something so I feel better about myself. When you breathe, you get yourself from a heightened state to a calmer state. Six deep breaths. It's in through your nose. It's out through your mouth. When you breathe out through your mouth, it is a long exhale like you're breathing out through a straw because a long

exhale actually slows your heart rate down. And besides slowing your heart rate down, it also releases a lot of carbon dioxide, allowing your body and your muscles to relax. And so there's tools like breathing we can immediately go to. There's meditation we can go to. There's journaling so we can take all of the things that are in our mind that's causing us to be in this heightened state and putting it on a piece of paper and starting to work through it. So instead of relying on something outside of our body, we're relying on just ourself, right? When you look at like drugs or alcohol, like my father was an alcoholic, right? It's easy to see drugs or alcohol, like my father was an alcoholic, right? It's easy to see that and to say, there's something wrong with that person. They're doing

drugs, they're doing alcohol. But then we can look at someone else and be like, oh, they're just having a glass of wine or they're just, you know, working a lot or they're just eating a lot. And we can shame people for drugs and alcohol a lot easier than we can be like, hey, maybe we all. It's like when you're pointing at somebody, you're pointing one finger at them, you're pointing three fingers back at you. When you look at somebody, you're like, you're bad. You're a drug addict. You're an alcoholic. You should also look at yourself and be like, is there anything that I'm doing to numb myself? Is there anything that I'm running from? Is there anything I'm trying to keep so busy that I don't even pay attention to? Is there any edge that I have?

So I do something to take the edge off. How can I get rid of the edge? What is the edge, right? And there's other things. There's, you know, like I said, there's drugs. There's people that are sex addicts because sex is something that makes you so present you forget about everything else.

There's people who are, you know, work out all the time and they're workaholics. All of these are just a form of running, running from whatever it is that the subconscious is making the body go into sympathetic, which is the heightened state. But it's also so hard for people to be bored. This is the reason why it's so hard for people to be bored. I've always thought to myself, what's wrong with being bored? Do you struggle with being... Just think to yourself, rhetorical question, but answer it in your head or in your car or in the gym, wherever you are, in the shower, whatever it is. Do you have a little bit of resistance towards

being bored? Do you have resistance towards being bored, having nothing to do? Where you're like, oh, I feel like there's a little bit of agitation. I feel like there's a little bit of stress. I feel like I need to be doing something. I feel like I have to be showing my worth or I feel like I should be doing something right now. I want to check my phone. I want to check this. I want to turn on the TV. Do you have a little bit of resistance towards being bored? Most people do. I found myself a lot of times like that. But really, think about this for a second. What is wrong with being bored? of times like that. But really, think about this for a second. What is wrong with being bored? Boredom is just the absence of something to do.

Think about that for a second. What is wrong with it? You're literally doing nothing. Why is there resistance towards doing nothing? Is it because we've been built into our system to run? Is it because we've been built to our system the way we show our worth and self-worth is from achievements? What is it that we've been built into our system to run? Is it because we've been built to our system? The way we show our worth and self-worth is from achievements. What is it that we're running from? Some people go crazy when there's nothing to do. But when it comes to bored and you get bored, what pops up? What comes up when you're bored? Do you get angry?

Or do you get frustrated? Do you start to get real anxious? Because what comes to the surface is not being created. This is really important for you to understand. When you're bored, what comes to the surface is not being created by the boredom. It's already there. The boredom is allowing it to come to the surface. That's what you're usually running from. What comes to the surface is what is always there. It's always bubbling under the surface. It's wanting to come out, but it's usually what we're running from. It's usually what we're numbing from. Think about that for a second. Being bored doesn't make you angry.

Being bored doesn't make you frustrated. Being bored doesn't make you anxious. It's allowing the space for what lives inside of you. It's bubbling on the surface all the time to finally come to the surface for you to work through. And a lot of times, instead of being bored and working through it, we'd rather just run. We'd rather just numb. Why? Because we lack the tools to stay calm and to calm our nervous system, to go from a heightened state to a calm state. We're addicted to stimuli. That's just the way that it works. We wake up, we have people that text us, we have the internet, we have emails we've got to get to, we've got phone calls, we have work, we have all this stuff. We're addicted to stimuli. Really, can we just take a step back and realize that

it's okay to be bored? And when we start to numb ourselves, what that numbing looks like, why are we numbing? What is it that's behind there? What is it? We're all addicted to something. What is it that we're addicted to and what is it that we're trying to run from? So what is it that we're trying to run from or what is it that we're addicted to? And what is it that we're trying to run from? So what is it that we're trying to run from? Or what is it that we're trying to numb? But the two things we're really trying to figure out. And if we can learn to breathe through it, to meditate through it, to journal through it, we can allow those things that are bubbling on the surface to come up and to release them and let them go. To come up, release them and let them go. Because it's all living inside of your body. You've just got to allow them to come up, to breathe through it, to meditate through it, to journal through it, and then to be able to work through it so you

can let it go. Because really, that's what's going to help you stop being addicted to numbing, being addicted to running, and allow you to start to understand how to calm your nervous system. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave the same way I leave every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better.

I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.