The Mindset Mentor - How to Stop Your Addictions

Episode Date: April 13, 2020

With all of this free time, have you been wanting to drink more? If that's the case, then this episode is for you! In this episode, we will talk about why all of this might make you want to drink more and how to handle it.If you want to ask me a question, send me a 30 second video of your question to [e-mail] me on Instagram @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host Rob Dial and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never ever miss another episode. And as I promised you guys, I'm going to start answering some of your questions. So our very first question comes all the way from India. So let's go ahead and play that and then I will dive into the answer. Hi Rob, I don't know if you get these kind of questions but I've been sober for most of this year. By sober I mean I haven't been drinking alcohol and now with this lockdown in my country India, I feel like drinking and the lockdown has been extended. So I feel like drinking more. I just want to hear from you as to what I can do to stay away from bad habit and pitfalls in myself.

All right. Thank you so much for sending in that question. I think a lot of people are dealing with that. So I definitely want to dive into this. And for those of you guys that want to ask me a question, send me a video, 30 seconds or less to my email address, RD stands for Rob Dial, obviously RD at robdial.com. And just maybe you'll hear yourself on the podcast as well. So this is a really great question. And the first thing that I would ask yourself is if you're out there and you're dealing with wanting to drink during this downtime, during

this pause that we have, and you feel like you want to drink for some reason, the first thing that I would do is get very inquisitive as to why that is. I would ask yourself, why do I want to drink? What is it that makes me feel like when I'm doing nothing or when I'm bored that I feel like I need to drink because I've been in your situation before. I know what it feels like to want to have a drink when I have nothing else to do. And obviously you guys, if you know my story, you know, I have a very interesting relationship with alcohol. You know, my father passed away when I was 15 from being an alcoholic. You know, I've seen it ruin his life. I've seen it ruin other people's lives as well.

I've drank ridiculous amounts of alcohol all the way through high school, all the way through college, after college, up until about five or six years ago. And I don't really drink alcohol that much anymore. And from a very, very young age, because of the fact that I had a father who was an alcoholic, I knew I could see in my own little child mind, I never blamed myself for my father's alcoholism. I never blamed myself for my parents getting divorced, any of those things. But I somehow made the connection in my child mind that my dad drinks because he has his own problems. And, you know, just to kind of give you a real quick idea of what it was, my dad walked in right after his father killed himself when he was 12 years old. And so he walked in right after he killed himself and, you know, shot himself in the mouth with a

shotgun. And my father never overcame that. And, you know, because of that, he started drinking. And so I definitely understood from a very young age that, um, that drinking or just, just addiction in general was attached to some sort of some, some form of trauma. Now I understand that, that the majority of you guys that are out there that are drinking, um, are not addicted to any sort of way, but most of the time when you're wanting to drink, and if you happen to wanting to be drinking more, what you're really wanting to do most of the time is numb. And so the real thing that I would ask yourself is, number one, why do I want to drink? And number two, what do I want to numb? Because there's a pretty good chance that you

want to numb something. Maybe it's your fear for all the things that are happening in the world right now. Maybe it's your sadness for all of the things that are happening in the world right now. Maybe it's your fear for losing your job. I don't know exactly what it is, but I would just ask yourself and really open yourself up and see what you think. Number one, why do I drink? What is the reason why I feel like I need to drink? And number two, the thing that I really would want to know is, am I numbing something? And if it is, what am I trying to numb? Now, I want you to realize this. It's not just alcohol that I'm speaking about here. You can numb yourself with work. That was my thing. I numbed myself with work. When I was in my early 20s, I was working 110 hours a week because I was too afraid to stop and come in

contact with all of my demons from my past and all the things that I was running with. So obviously, my dad had his demons. He had his way of dealing with them, which is alcohol. I had my demons from my childhood and my way of running from them, AKA numbing them was to work. Work so much and keep myself so busy that I couldn't even think or process the emotions or the grief that I never really let myself process. grief that I never really let myself process, right? So some people numb with work or aka run. It's whichever way you want to think about it. Some people numb with sex. Some people numb with working out all the time, right? It's great to be healthy. Don't get me wrong. But there is a point where it's too much. You're going too far. Maybe it's a lack of self-worth that's somewhere in there. Keeping your mind busy, always having to be on your phone or always having to be on the computer,

always having to be watching TV or Netflix or something like that. The reason why I personally, and you know, in the audio, the video that was sent out, he says that in India, the lockdown has been extended. I think that that's a beautiful thing. The reason why I think that I hope that the lockdown stays longer for people is, you know, obviously I realize that people need to get back to work. People need to make money. People need to do all that stuff. But I really think that we're at the point in time right now that people need to use this as a reset and they're still resisting. They're still resisting and trying to live their lives the same and hoping that things can go back to normal.

And they say it takes about 60 days to break a habit or to create a new habit. So I'm really hoping that this lockdown lasts as long as it needs to for people to really have this be something that changes their life, whatever it is. And they need to figure out if they're numbing, they need to figure out if they're running from something, if they're running from emotions. You know, I've done a lot of, a couple episodes recently about boredom, you know, boredom in, in, in the feeling of, Oh my God, I got to do something. I got to do something when you're just sitting there, that is a withdrawal to being constantly stimulated

and wanting to be stimulated. Just the same as an alcoholic will go through withdrawals when they don't have their alcohol. Well, someone who is addicted to stimulating themselves, constant stimulation will go through withdrawals, AKA boredom of, I got to do to do some, I got to do some, I got to do something. So I think that some people just need, I think most people, myself included, every single person in the world probably needs a reset. And people are just now starting to allow themselves to ease into this new life. They've been resisting, resisting, resisting. And now they're like, all right, well, maybe if this is my life's going to be, then maybe I should just chill out. should just chill out. See, I've, I personally have, I've had one drink this entire year.

I had my Ironman 60 challenge. So for 60 days, we didn't drink at all. And we worked out every single day. And on day 61, right after it ended, I had one glass of white wine. And, you know, now we're, what are we in? We're in April, halfway through April, and I've had one drink so far this entire year. And I don't care if you drink. There's no judgment from my side. I've drank my share of alcohol. So there's one thing that I can't do is I can't judge somebody for drinking alcohol. That's for damn sure. I have drank a lot of it. But for me, the reason why I don't is because it just doesn't serve me. And that's a question that I ask myself pretty often is, does this serve me? Does this thing that I'm doing, this activity that I'm doing, this life that I'm living, everything in here, does it serve me? And if it doesn't, I just don't waste my time with it. And just alcohol, just at this point in time in my life, it doesn't serve me. I mean, I love the taste of wine.

And we've been to Italy and we've drank many bottles of wine in Italy. We spent probably about six months out of the past three years over in Italy. But it's just like I love the taste of the wine, but it just doesn't serve me anymore. And I know that alcohol stays in my system for up to 80 hours and it slows me down. It slows cognition down. It slows the human me down. It slows, you know, cognition down. It slows the human brain down. It slows the thought process down. It makes me foggier. And so I know if that's the case, it's just for me, I just, I just have a mission that is more important to me than, than, than to drinking alcohol. So maybe what you need

is some sort of mission that is more important than sitting around and being bored and drinking alcohol. Because ultimately what you're really looking for is something to fill up the time is what it seems like. So either number one, stay bored and just be okay with boredom and be okay with sitting and being mindful and meditating and being in quiet and, you know, drinking tea maybe. Or, you know, instead of filling your time with drinking alcohol, why don't you fill your time

with something that's purpose-driven, something that drives you, something that makes you feel good, something that makes you feel like you're doing something for other people. That would be my biggest tip that I could give you to try to replace it with something else. And have a mission that's more important

than drinking alcohol. And some people, they need it to calm their nerves, for instance. Well, maybe you should ask yourself, why can't you calm your nerves without it? Because that seems like it might be something that needs to be worked through, right? Just something to think about. Can you train yourself to be calm without alcohol? Some people have anxiety or they're too anxious or they're too wired throughout the day. Okay. Well, you know, can you get yourself to a lowered state, a calmer state without alcohol having to be the means to do so,

right? There's nothing wrong with it. Whatever it is that you want to do, I can never judge. But if you're sitting there going, I want to drink alcohol, but I know I shouldn't drink alcohol. Well, then there's something inside of you. Probably you're, you're super conscious as I call it, which is your higher self. You're the, the, the best version of yourself saying, this is not for you. This is not what you should be doing. Find something else that you should do. There's a part of you inside of you. You wouldn't send this audio in this video in, unless you felt like you shouldn't be doing this one thing that you're going to be doing, which is drinking, right? So there's nothing wrong with it. Do whatever it is that you want. But if you feel like you need it, you feel like you're driven to it. You feel like you need to

drink more because of what's going on right now. Maybe what you should do is just ask yourself, you know, why do I need it? Am I trying to numb something? Am I running from something? And can I fix whatever it is that I'm running from or whatever it is that the issue is or whatever it is I'm trying to numb without me having to drink alcohol? Now, I'll tell you this. It's easier to drink alcohol. It's easier to smoke weed. It's easier to go to the gym. It's easier to, you know, go to the gym. It's easier to, you know, find some way to keep scrolling through Instagram and keep yourself busy than it is to actually work on your deep rooted issues. But it's so much more worth it to finally work through those things. And really what with a lot of the people that I've coached, I've coached thousands of people over these years.

And what I've come to realize is that what you're running from is some form of trauma that happens to be in your past. That's pretty common. And it's easier to drink alcohol than it is to go back and open up a wound. It's like opening, you know, taking, taking off a scab and dive in diving deep into it to try to heal that scab. So it doesn't, you know, actually end up as a scar because ultimately that's what we're really trying to work through. So what I would say is get really inquisitive as to asking yourself the questions of, why do I want to drink? Why do I feel like I need to drink more? Am I running from something? And if I am, what is it? Am I trying to numb some feelings? And if I

am, what is it? Do I have some form of trauma that's really hard for me to actually process and I haven't allowed myself to? And if I do, what is it? And what do I need to do to process these things in this downtime that I have? Because usually that's typically, I can't generalize and say every single person wants to drink alcohol because of this, because that's ridiculous for me to say. Absolutely not that. But if you're feeling like you need to drink, but you shouldn't, well, then that seems like there's some dissonance there. And that's something that you should probably work through. So that would be my best tip with you. Whether it is alcohol for you, whether it's sex for you,

whether it's working for you, whether it's constantly scrolling through Instagram for you or TikTok, whatever it is that you happen to be obsessed with, try to dive in and really start to figure yourself out. It's not easy. There might be some tears. There might be some shit that you have to go through, but I promise you this, you will end up a better person on the other side. I used to drink a lot, a lot, a lot of alcohol. And I think the reason why is because I was really trying to run away and numb a lot of feelings. And over the past seven, eight years, especially the past three years, I've really allowed myself to process and relive some really terrible things that I was hiding from and I was running from. And I allowed myself to reprocess them as an older, more mature adult and release them. And what I've realized is I don't need to

numb. I don't really feel like numbing even does anything for me. So I think it's more beautiful to live my life sober than it is to live it by drinking. So just my personal opinion, just my own journey that I've gone on and a journey that I've taken many people on as well. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love. Please continue to, and I would love, love, love, love, love for you guys to do me a favor right now. If you got something from this, if you love this, please share this on your Instagram stories. We've had so many people find out about this podcast because you share it on your Instagram stories, whether you take a screenshot of it or whether you take a video of you listening to it,

driving in your car or walking your dog or working out or whatever it is that you're doing as you're doing this. If you take a video or if you take a screenshot and if you would put it on your Instagram and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. And if you want one of your questions answered,

I can't answer everybody's questions, obviously, just the ones that I feel are the most pertinent to everybody in everything that we happen to be going through or whatever it is that might be a great lesson for people. If you want me to answer a question for you, send me a video that's 30 seconds or less, or it could be around 30 seconds to rd at robdial.com, stands for Rob Dial, obviously, rd at robdial.com. And I'm, obviously. RD at robdial.com. And I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.