The Mindset Mentor - How to Stop Your Self Sabotage

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

The only thing holding you back is you. That's why in this episode, I am going to teach you how to stop subconsciously holding yourself back. Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you love this podcast and you've ever gotten any value from any podcast that I've ever put out, please do me a favor. Give us a rating review on Apple Podcasts or on iTunes. It helps the podcast grow and more people to be able to find it. So if you've ever gotten any value, take 30 seconds, a minute, whatever it is, pop out your phone, give us a rating review. I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Today, we're going to talk about programming and how to break free a little bit from the programming that we have. I'm traveling right now with my

mom. I'm over in Rome and flew my mom out and we're having coffee this morning. And we were talking about her dog. Her dog has, she's a rescue and the poor thing has a lot of issues from being a rescue. And we were talking about how animals are programmed through conditioning. And she's like, you know, I don't know why she just doesn't get out of it and like why she isn't just, you know, happier with me. I've never beaten her or anything like that. I was like, well, you have to realize like the animal was conditioned from a young age. And so it's not like she doesn't trust you. It's that for some reason, she doesn't trust humans as well. And that's something that's programming into her and something that needs to be programmed out of her by some training and by working with her and going to somebody who's an actual dog trainer to be able to help her out.

And it's just a programming and subconsciously something that happens inside of the dog's mind. And so then we start talking about programming with dogs. We're talking about programming with humans, why we are the way that we are. And we start talking about how we accidentally, subconsciously hold ourselves back. And it's not that we don't all want to have amazing lives. You want to have an amazing life, don't you? I want to have an amazing life. But we subconsciously self-sabotage ourselves all the time if we don't become aware of what's going on. And we don't ever get past those until we become aware of those things and start to work past it and start to become very conscious of what is subconscious, which means I'm taking what is

in the subconscious under the conscious mind and bringing it into the conscious so that I can work through it. And it's kind of like the idea, there's the story you may have heard me talk about before. There's a man that's walking through the forest and he sees these elephants with these little tiny ropes that are tied to a small tree. And these are little tiny ropes and little tiny trees, and they could easily break them. And so this man's confused of these massive animals. Why don't they just break free if they wanted to? They easily could. So he's confused about how these giant animals are being held in place by such a small, small rope. And he goes up to a guy and he says, why are these massive animals that you have here,

why are they standing there? They could easily break away. And the guy says, well, when they were younger, we had these exact same ropes. And they learned when they weren't strong enough to break the rope that they couldn't get away. And as they get older and as they get bigger, they still think that they can't get away, even though they get older and as they get bigger, they still think that they can't get away even though they're older, they're bigger, and they easily could. They have been conditioned to believe that they cannot break away. Never needed a bigger rope. And they're never aware of how much larger or more powerful they are. And they never try to actually break free. And one day they realized they probably tried to break free. And they realized that they were powerless and they weren't able to when they were younger and they just

gave up for the rest of their lives. And I don't mean to make you sad because it's a terrible story and this is how people condition animals to do whatever it is they want them to do. But how common is it for humans to do the exact same thing? It's super common. You know, why do I share the story? Well, you know, at some point in time, the animals are trying to get away. They're trying to get away. The elephants are trying to get away and they're not strong enough when they're younger. So they just give up and they don't

ever try again. Was there a day or moment or event in your life when you just simply gave up? When you just decided, you know what? I've hit my maximum of what I can do as a human. I don't need to go any further. And you're not consciously thinking this, but it subconsciously happened. It's like the quote Benjamin Franklin says. He says, most people die by 25, but they're not buried until 75. And they just give up and they don't try anymore. The same way that these elephants become huge, massive animals, but they don't even try to break free anymore. They don't realize how much more powerful they are. You know, do you realize how much more powerful you are than the moment when you gave up,

subconsciously gave up? You know, do you want to be where you are until the day that you die? How many of us are holding ourselves back based off of something that happened in the past? Maybe you really want to start a new business. You have this amazing idea, but you failed before as an entrepreneur in the past. And so you're not doing it thinking that the past, not being able to break the rope when you were younger, is going to dictate and be the exact same as the current moment of

now that you're more powerful, you're wiser, you've learned more, that you're still not going to be able to break the rope, aka have a successful business. How many of us are holding ourselves back just because of something that we failed in in the past? How many of us are holding ourselves back because of where we came from? Oh yeah, nobody's successful where I come from. There's so many people that think that if they have a successful life, if they make money, if they have happiness, if they grow out of where they came from, everyone that they love will not love them anymore. They won't accept them anymore. And so people would rather live a life that's mediocre and miserable

to them than feel like they're not going to be accepted by the people that they love. And what's crazy is that never happens. Nobody ever gets successful and the people that they love are like, oh, we don't want to hang out with you anymore. How many of us are programmed to hold ourselves back because of a belief that was programmed into us at a young age? Maybe you want to make money, but your mom used to tell you that money doesn't grow on trees. Money's the root of all evil. If you want to become rich, you have to screw people over. So you're holding yourself back because subconsciously you're thinking that. How many of us are holding ourselves back simply because of what a parent or a teacher or a family member or a friend told us when we were young and impressionable,

when we were just a sponge? And we're holding ourselves back because of somebody else's programming, a belief that was programmed into us at a young age. It's bad enough that we hold ourselves back because of limiting beliefs, but it's even worse when you realize that you're holding yourself back because of someone else's belief that you latched onto as a child. And so you have to realize these things. It's like the example of the goldfish, right? A goldfish. If you look at a goldfish, I used to work in PetSmart when I was 15. I was a bird and fish specialist at PetSmart

for two and a half years. Thank you very much. And goldfish, inside of a tank, they're about an inch, two inches. Do you know how big goldfish get to in the wild? 14 inches in the wild. So it's seven times the size in the wild than it is inside of a tank. And they are restricted by the size of the tank that they're in. Their body will not outgrow

the size of the tank that they're in. Well, think about that. How many of us are restricting ourselves based off of where we came from? Oh yeah, the past is your goldfish tank and you're never going to outgrow that. You got to break through your goldfish tank. It doesn't actually truly exist. How many of us are restricting ourselves by our own minds, by our past, by where we came from, by other people's programming that isn't even actually ours, by other people's beliefs that somehow got passed on to us. How many of us are holding ourselves back by the people that we surround ourselves with? Those people are like a tank for a goldfish. If you're the goldfish, they're the ones that are holding you back. If people around

you are thinking small, if people around you are thinking that you have to screw people over to be successful, if people around you are saying that you can't do what you want to do, they are the tank and you are the goldfish. Think about that for a second. That's the interesting thing about all this programming is that we're literally not allowing ourselves to grow to our natural size like a goldfish that's in the wild. We're not allowing ourselves to grow to our full potential because of us holding on to other people's programmings, because of the people we surround ourselves with, because of the things that we watch, because of the things that we listen to, because of the things that we believe about ourselves, because of things that we believe because other people told us to believe them when we were young and impressionable. At some point in time,

if you're going to have the life that you want, you've got to wake up to the fact that you're the only one that's in control of this. And there are some things that are inside of you that have to be brought to the surface and gotten rid of. The same way that if my mom wants her dog to start hanging out with her on a couch and stop hiding inside of a closet, she's going to have to do some training because the dog has been trained to be afraid of humans. It's sad. It's terrible that people can be so shitty that that happens. But when my mom went and rescued this dog, she has some programming that needs to be reprogrammed. And my mom's not a dog trainer. It's actually my mom's very first dog. And so she doesn't know all of the training needs to be done. So if she were to bring her to a dog trainer and start to work with her, the dog trainer would be able to help identify these things, be able to start to reprogram or be able to

help to realize that she's safe around my mom, around my nephews, around my niece, all of that stuff so that therefore the dog can start to reprogram everything that's happened to it in the past. Will there be things that could possibly still pop up every once in a while? Absolutely. But will it be better once the dog is retrained and sees that she's safe and doesn't have to worry? Absolutely. But you got to start to ask yourself, how many of us are exactly the same as the dog? How many of us are exactly the same as

the elephant? How many of us are exactly the same as the goldfish? Hey, you're putting in the work to better yourself. Why not put in the same effort for your hiring process at work? It doesn't take much. It just takes Indeed. Indeed is your hiring partner that gets you what you really want, which is a short list of quality candidates as fast as possible. Because you can do it all, attract, interview, and hire all at Indeed. So don't struggle finding your own quality list of candidates. Indeed helps you find the right people right now. Indeed partners with you on every step of the hiring process so you can find talent with the skills that you need through the tools like Indeed Instant Match, assessments,

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They have the most meaningful and out of the ordinary gifts anywhere. To get 15% off of your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com slash dial. That is uncommongoods.com slash dial for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary. Your past does not dictate your future, but for some reason, because the past made us, we think the highest that I've hit in my past is the highest that I'll hit in my future. No, you have to realize the same way that an elephant continues to grow

and gets bigger and bigger and bigger, you get wiser, you get smarter, you get more resources, you get better at what you do. So to think that what happened to you in the past, that failed business in the past, that failed relationship in the past is what's going to happen in your future is absolutely ridiculous because you're not the same as you were back then. You're a completely different person. It's like the quote you've heard me say a few times before, no man steps in the same river twice because he's not the same man. It's not the same river. The river is constantly changing and we are constantly changing as well. So there's a point in time where you have to realize

that we've all been, and you've heard me say it millions of times on this podcast, we've all been programmed. But the programs that's put inside of you, is that the programming that you want? Or would you prefer something different? Instead of being scared and afraid of going out and growing that business, would you rather have confidence in yourself and know that whatever it is that you're going to do, you're going to be successful? I know people that business, would you rather have confidence in yourself and know that whatever it is that you're going to do, you're going to be successful? I know people that have, it's like they hit a home run with every business that they start. But there's a little bit of a reason to that because there's so much confidence. They have a failed business, a failed business, a failed business. It doesn't stop them. And then they go and they start a business and they

finally hit a home run. It's like strikeout, strikeout, strikeout, home run. And because they hit that home run, they have more confidence going into the next one and then into the next one to the next one. And they have three, four, five successful businesses. They don't start all of them at once. They start them all one at a time, but they have three, four, five successful businesses that they've grown simply because they've realized that the past of their failures, the strikeout businesses, have nothing to do with the current business. They have nothing to do with the future business. But if you want to look at it and say, you know what, that is the reason why I'm going to fail, then I guarantee you this, you are going to fail. If you want to look at your last relationship

where you were cheated on and you think that everyone's a cheater, well, then you're going to attract cheaters in your life. If you want to go's a cheater, well, then you're going to attract cheaters in your life. If you want to go out there and say, well, you know what? I'm not going to get into a relationship because I've had so many bad boyfriends or bad girlfriends in the past. Well, then you're simply just holding yourself back

from a future that you know you want at some point. You want to have a great relationship. You want to be around great people. You want to fall in love, whatever it is. But you're thinking, oh, because I've had a few shitty relationships, it must dictate that every single person of the opposite sex or same sex, depending on what you're into, must mean that all of them are exactly the same way as my ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends. None of those things make any sense. Oh, and then we have other people's programming on top of it.

Relationships are hard. Marriage is hard. How many times have you heard that? Marriage is hard. Marriage is a struggle. You've got to give yourself up for that. I know people that are in marriages and they look like they're a fucking struggle. I'll be real.

I know people that are in marriages though, and they redesign their marriage and they make it better every single month. They have meetings with each other. They decide every single anniversary. I have a friend who every single anniversary, him and his wife get together and they decide if they want to be remarried. Between the two of them, remarry themselves every single year. And they decide, okay, well, how did the last year go? What do we like? What do we not like? What do we want this year to look like? And they redesign it every single year so that it becomes more effortless,

so that they become more in love, so they become more of the people they want to become. Now, you could make marriage a struggle or you could make marriage like that. Which one do you want? Well, the choice is yours, depending on what it is that you believe and depending on what it is that your programming is as well. So the simple thing that you have to realize is that no matter what, you can't look at your programming and think that your programming is automatically going to dictate what your life, what your future, what your presence is going to be. It can be whatever it is that you want to be. And you also have to look at your past and realize that your past does not dictate your future in any sort of way. And that's a beautiful thing. Your past literally has nothing to do with your future. That's crazy. Your past

has nothing to do with your future. But too many people are living their lives, looking in the rearview mirror and seeing failures and seeing things where they screwed up versus looking forward and saying, it doesn't matter what happened in the past. I'm going to go ahead. I'm going to create the future that I want. And another thing that we do a lot of times too, is we look at the past and see things that we screwed up on and how we didn't do it right, how we could have done it better. And we identify the ways that we mess up instead of looking into the past and seeing how much you have grown,

how different you are, how much better you are, and how you're going to take all of that knowledge, all of that wisdom, and make your future even better because of everything that you went through in your past. Just like the elephant, you can break through the ropes whenever

you want to. The crazy part about it is that you're subconscious with all those ropes. Those ropes don't even exist. It's not like a physical rope, like the rope that's holding the elephant back. It's actually a mental rope that you're just deciding that you're going to keep in place. You're in a straight jacket of programming. And so just like that elephant, the elephant is bigger. You're in a straitjacket of programming. And so just like that elephant, the elephant is bigger. They can break through that rope. You are wiser.

You have more knowledge. You are better. You are more skilled. You can either continue to hold yourself back from everything that is that you want, or you can look at your future and say, I'm going to get it no matter what and step into that confidently. Will you still feel fear?

Absolutely, you're still going to feel fear. But you have to have this laser-like focus of, I am going to get the future that I want no matter what, and break that rope that's silently holding you back. Break out of the straitjacket and create the life that you want to. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I love it when I see it. It's always hundreds of people that share this podcast. So I greatly, greatly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. And if you're out there and you want some more inspiration, motivation to fill up your Instagram, I post three times a day, videos, pictures, all kinds of stuff to help you guys grow

and get better and create the life that you want to. So it's R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you all have an amazing, amazing day.