The Mindset Mentor - How Your Brain is Playing Tricks on You

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

Your brain is outsmarting you every single day. In this episode, I will explain how to regain control over your brain so you can be the best version of yourself. Follow me on IG for more inspiration: https://instagram.com/robdialjr Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Gile. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never, ever, ever miss another podcast episode. Today, we're going to be talking about how your brain is playing tricks on you. And we're going to be talking about things called cognitive biases. And so as we dive into this, I don't mean to offend anybody, but some of your foundations of what you build your life upon, I promise you might get rocked. I'm going to challenge your beliefs. I'm going to challenge the foundation of what you built your life upon and show you how we use cognitive biases to, I guess you could say, take over our own brains and how the brain is actually playing tricks on us before we even realize it. So let's dive into it. I'm going to go over a couple of different bias with you guys.

So the first one is something called confirmation bias. One of the things that's really funny about being a human is we have this incredibly complex piece of machinery between our ears that is working without us ever trying to use it, without us ever thinking about it, without us ever trying to take control of it. It's working at all points in time and it's doing what it's doing. And if you don't know how it works, it could mess you up a little bit. And that's why you have to understand the way that we work, right? We think that our opinions are a result of years of rational and objective analysis, right? Like if I say, tell me your beliefs, tell me your opinions and tell me why those are your beliefs and your opinions. You think the reason why is because they are a result of years of

rational thinking and objective analysis as to how the world works and how you operate in it, right? Nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is that your opinions are the result of years of paying attention to information that confirmed how you believe while ignoring the information that would have changed your perceptions, right? And so this is just all psychology. These are all facts. It's called confirmation bias. You're literally seeing the world, seeing everything. You're only seeing what makes you feel like you're right and you're missing what can prove you wrong, right? So another problem with this is that you hang out with people who only think exactly the same as you

because it's really hard to hang out with somebody who only think exactly the same as you. Because it's really hard to hang out with somebody who has a completely different opinion on the world. Like if you think of your top five friends, they think exactly the same way that you do. They have the same beliefs. They're probably around the same weight. They probably eat the same as you. They work out around the same amount of times that you work out.

They probably have the same political affiliations as you. We hang out with people who only think exactly the way that we think, which then confirms even more of our bias of, yes, the way that we work in this world is right. So the friends that we hang out with, that's the first thing, the people we surround ourselves with. Here's another thing that's really hard about it. The news that you watch, if you watch the news, you're only what promise you that if you're of a political affiliation or certain beliefs, you're only watching the news that is going to talk to you the way that you believe. And to watch news on the other side really rocks the foundation for a lot of people. And the third thing is online. You're probably only following people who think the

same as you, which then confirms that the way that you think is right because you can see how many people think this way. Now, this isn't necessarily a negative thing. It's not a positive thing either. It just is the way that it is. But when you understand this, you start to think to yourself, are my beliefs actually my beliefs or Or is it a little bit of nature and nurture? Is it the way that I was raised? My parents told me this, this, this, this. And then I just started hanging out with people who literally have the same beliefs as my parents in some sort of way. Or you could have maybe not enjoyed your parents in the way that they were. So you started hanging out with people that were the exact opposite of them that confirmed the way

that you believed. Very rarely do I hear people going, yeah, I love to hang out with people that don't think the same as me. I love to hang out with people of a different political party, of different opinions, of different thoughts and feelings and all of that stuff. And there was actually, to give you an idea of how people read, in 2009, Ohio State did a study that found that people read, excuse me, spent 36% more time reading essays that aligned with their opinions, right? People want to read what is going to tell them that they are correct. Now, why is this really bad? Because there's another side of the street and you never really see the other side of the street. Now, this was bad before social media. The reason

why social media ends up being worse than that makes this worse is because there's algorithms. You know, if you look at Instagram and you look at Facebook and you look at YouTube and Twitter and LinkedIn, all of those things are they're just computers. There's not people running those. There's people that build these things called algorithms. An algorithm is a computer that just, you know, a line of code that says, if this person clicks like on this person's post, show them more of their posts. And so what happens is we create with algorithms, with the people that we hang out, the news that we watch, the algorithms that exist, we create an echo chamber of only hearing our beliefs, right? Because here's the way that Facebook works. Let me just give you a real quick example, right? I understand the algorithms at a very deep level

only because I think of everything on a computer, all of these social medias and algorithms. That's the way that I was able to build a following of over 3 million people between Instagram and Facebook is I was always thinking algorithmically and I was always thinking psychologically. If I can understand the way that people think and I can understand the way that people think and I can understand the way that computers think, I can then put out information that people want to see and then also it can start to go viral. Facebook only makes Facebook,

I'm sorry, only makes money when you stay on Facebook. Facebook only makes money when you stay on Facebook because then you see the ads. The only way that they're making money is through the ads. That's it. There is no other way that I'm aware of. I mean, there might be other things that are outside of it, but Facebook as a company makes their money by selling advertisements and putting those advertisements in front of you, right? They make money when you stay on Facebook. So they will give you what you want. So if I'm of a specific political party and I start to like certain things, which I'm not, I'm not a part of any political party, but if I was, and I start to like a certain person

stuff, Facebook is then going to show me more people who I might not even follow who have the same political affiliation as me. Why? Because I want to read things that confirm that I'm right. I want to read things that confirm that I'm right, right? So you're seeing even more of what makes you think that you're right. So all of those things firm up the belief that anything different than what you believe is absolutely incorrect, right? And you can feel it physically, can't you? When someone challenges your beliefs, you can feel it physically inside of your body as if you're getting attacked, right? That's why you see so many adults acting like children in

the comment section of YouTube and Facebook and Instagram is because they are literally feeling physically attacked by other people because they don't like seeing things outside of what they think is right to them. If you're a business owner, I don't need to tell you that running your business is tough, but you might be making it harder on yourself than necessary. So don't let QuickBooks and other spreadsheets slow you down anymore. It's time for you to upgrade to NetSuite. Stop paying for multiple systems that don't give you all of the information that you need when you need it. Now is the time to upgrade to NetSuite by Oracle, the world's number one online cloud-based system.

NetSuite gives you the visibility and control over your financials, HR, inventory, e-commerce, and so much more all in one place instantaneously. So whether you're doing millions or hundreds of millions in revenue, save time and money with NetSuite and join over 24,000 companies that are using NetSuite right now. And let NetSuite show you how they'll benefit your business with a free product tour at netsuite.com slash dial. Once again, schedule your free product tour right now at netsuite.com slash dial. That is netsuite.com slash D-I-A-L. So you only like to be told what you already know. How ridiculous is that though? Think of, to think that we already know everything and everything that we know is right, right? Like how ridiculous is it for me to be like, I already know everything and everything that I believe

is actually correct. That's ridiculous, isn't it? And consciously, I think everybody who's listening right now knows how insane that sounds for me to go, I'm right on everything that I think and everything that I believe and everything that I know is correct. And I already also already know everything. And we can consciously think that like, wow, that sounds ridiculous. That sounds, I would never think that way. I'm not like that. No way. But if I were to bring up a big issue that you believe in, whatever that big issue is, and tell you that you're wrong, then we can really see how you react. Then there's usually a trigger and that trigger shows you where you're not free. Any trigger that, anything that triggers you shows

you where you're stuck in life. If someone comes up to me and brings up some big issue and I get pissed, it's showing me where I'm still stuck in life, right? So that's in the moment, you know, how you spend your time with people, who you spend your time with, what you spend your time learning. We will only search for things that teach us, not always, and I don't want to say always, but most of the time, unless you're aware of it, we will search for things that are going to show us that what we believe in is correct. Now, what about when something you believe ends up being bad or you voted for somebody and they did something bad? Now we roll into what's called another cognitive bias and it's called choice supportive bias. Okay. So first off, we have confirmation

bias, which means that I'm only going to read the news that supports my beliefs, or I'm only going to hang out with these people that support my beliefs. And it's not just political beliefs, but it's all types of beliefs. It could be religious beliefs. It could just be spiritual beliefs, it could be whatever it is. There's so many different beliefs that we have. I want to be around people who support my beliefs, right? So now we roll into another cognitive bias, which is called choice supportive bias. When you make a decision, whatever that decision is, we will only see the positives. This is so crazy when you actually start to think about it. We will only see the positives in that decision most of the time and not see the negative. Let me give you a real good example, right? I have an iPhone. I had an iPhone for, I had a

Samsung for the longest time. And I switched about five years ago, four years ago to an iPhone. And, uh, and then you notice that people on the Samsung side hates iPhones and they'll tell you why iPhones are the worst. And people on the iPhone side will hate Samsung and they'll tell you why those are wrong. So like, let's say I have an iPhone, right? And we'll make it something just silly and simple that does happen, right? I have an iPhone and overnight it decides it wants to update. And then there's a bunch of bugs and it starts to fail. And my friend, Alan, who has a Samsung, I do have a friend named Alan. He has a Samsung. We, we always talk about this and we always make fun of him because we're like, Hey, I'm going to airdrop you some photos, Alan. Oh shit. I can't. Right. And so we always make

these jokes with him, but he's hardcore. He will not switch because he's just so hardcore in it. And, uh, and so if let's say my phone updates and something fails and my friend Alan comes over and he's like, well, yeah, of course it did because that would never happen with a Samsung, right? What's going to happen with me? I need to then back up my choice to have bought an iPhone, right? This is the perfect example of choice supportive bias. I made a choice. I need to now support that choice and show why that choice was right. Right. So I need to back up my choice for the iPhone. Oh yeah. Well, you know, maybe it messed

up today, but Alan, we know that the pictures are so much better on the iPhone. We know that the ecosystem makes it so much. You know what? I don't care if it fails because eventually when the bug gets fixed, I'm at least going to have the ecosystem. The ecosystem is the best part of it, right? We see this happening all of the time with political parties, don't we? Democrats versus Republicans. One party does something wrong. And, you know, let's say I'm a part of a political party X and my political party does something absolutely wrong. I'll just look over it and explain why my party's still better, right? And then political party Y does something wrong. And my friend who's part of political party Y is, oh yeah, but you know, that's okay because we're still better in this way. And what happens is

if I'm part of political party X and political party Y does something bad, I'll only see their bad, but I won't see any of the good stuff that they do because I have to prove to myself why my decision to vote for political party X was the correct decision. Then person of political party Y will only see all of the bad in political party X, and they won't see any of the good because we have to confirm and we have to show that our choice was the right choice. Even if it's blatantly obvious that something's wrong, right? We see people do this all the time with presidents that they vote for. And no matter what country that you're in, I'm sure you see this, right? You vote for a president, the president does something shitty, and the person who voted for him will completely miss it and explain why

he's still better, even though it's blatantly obvious that the thing that he did, you know, how, even though it's blatantly obvious that maybe their party did something or maybe that person sucks. Why do we do this? Why do we have to feel? I mean, if you really think about it, it's, it's a frail ego is really what it is. We as humans want to feel like we're really concrete in who we are, what we believe in and what we do. A lot of times, we don't even like knowing that we're wrong. And we don't like being told that we're wrong. And we don't like someone proving that we're wrong. And we'll do anything to see ways that we're not wrong. So we tend to

rationalize our choices, especially when they're bad. Why? Because we have to tell her, oh my gosh, that was a bad person to vote for. oh my gosh, that was a bad person to vote for. Oh my gosh, that was a bad political party to vote for. Oh, that was a bad purchase of my iPhone. We have to show ourselves why that thing that we decided to do in our past was correct. So we have to know who we are. Nothing makes a, and I've worked with thousands of people, nothing, nothing will shake a person up more than when their beliefs of who they think they are are foundationally shook up. It's so hard for them to do it. It causes something called cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance means I believe that the world is this way.

I believe that this is right and this is right and this is right. And we can get facts on facts on facts as to why that's wrong. And you can literally see somebody attack before listening to going, oh shit, I might've actually really been wrong. It causes cognitive dissonance. The way that I think that the world is, is actually not the way that the world is. So what's the solution? I know that nobody listening to this consciously, you know, wants to consciously be stuck in their way, unopened to hear other people's sides and other people's stories, right? Because if we don't open ourselves up to hearing other people's opinions, eventually we're going to get old and senile and stuck. Like you've seen people who have been stuck in their ways for a long time. And it gets more and more hard

and concrete the longer that they live that way. So what can we do? Challenge ourself. When you have a belief, ask yourself, first off, is this my belief or is this a belief that was put into me as a child? Is this what my parents believed? Is this what society told me to believe? Is this what my friends believe? So I just kind of followed the group. Challenge your beliefs. Start asking yourself, is this what I truly believe in? Is this belief right? Challenge your thoughts. Challenge your past decisions.

And be open to the fact that maybe we're not right. A lot of times. Maybe we're wrong a lot of times. It's okay. And be open to other sides of the road, other sides of the street, other people's opinions, thoughts, and just think, maybe I'm not always right in everything that I believe. Do different things. Push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Go talk to someone who doesn't think the same as you. Allow yourself to be challenged in ways that

you've never been challenged. Nothing is worse than someone who thinks that they're right, stays in that decision for the rest of their life life and gets old and hard and senile and, oh, I'm concrete in who I am, right? That's called a fixed mindset. I don't know about you. I want to have a growth mindset of I can change. I can be different. I want people to come in and be like, you're wrong and this is why you're wrong. And I want them to piss me off so I can find my triggers, right? This is why a lot of people get older and they get ridiculously firm in their beliefs. We see it all of the time. And so you have to realize we have to be open to not being right all the time. We have to be open to learning to the fact that what we believe in isn't correct. We have to be open to the fact that, you know what, the way that I see the world is actually not correct. And we have to be okay and not have a small ego

that just gets shook so easily to go, you know what? I'm learning. I'm growing. I made a decision in my past. It wasn't good. I'm trying to improve. I'm trying to get better. This belief that I have, let me challenge it.

Let me figure out where it came from. Let me see if it's actually what I believe in. Because I don't know about you. I constantly want to try to learn and grow. And when I understand that these biases exist, I understand why I think the way that I think. I understand why I act the way that I act. And so if you can understand these two cognitive biases, number one is confirmation bias. Be around people and do things that make you think different, that are outside of the way that you think. Number two is choice supportive bias. Maybe my decisions in the

past weren't right. Maybe that purchase wasn't right. Maybe that vote wasn't right. Whatever it is. And realize that to get into something called cognitive dissonance, where my worldview is flipped over on top of its head, and now I have to start to pick up the pieces and put it together is a good thing. The more that I can get my brain blown into shreds and then try to pick up all the pieces and put it back together, the stronger that I feel my mind gets. It's the same way with growing a muscle. The only way to grow a muscle is to go in and lift really heavy and destroy that muscle for it to grow and destroy that muscle for it to grow and destroy that muscle for it to grow. It's the exact same way with your brain and with your mind. Constantly be challenging yourself,

constantly be challenging your beliefs, constantly be challenging your beliefs, constantly challenging your thoughts, and constantly be challenging your past decisions so that you don't allow yourself to get stuck, so that your brain isn't always playing tricks on you. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on Instagram, then tag me in at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And please give a rating and review to this podcast. However you listen to us, it helps more than you could know. And I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode, make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.