The Mindset Mentor - 'I' Can No Longer Live With 'Myself' - What to Do!

Episode Date: January 6, 2020

This is a DEEP episode. I was hesitant to put it up because I didn't want to go TOO deep and have this not make sense to some people but I decided that this episode is too important not to post. This is the episode explaining what to do when "you" can no longer live with "yourself."Follow me on Instagram @RobDialJr https://instagram.com/robdialjrBuy the book I mentioned in this episode here: https://amzn.to/2ZXsf7i Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial, and today we're going to be diving into something deep, and I mean really deep. So hopefully I don't lose too many people along the way, but I wanted to share this with you. And it is the idea of the self versus the I. And normally I wouldn't share something that I have also was a lesson inside of my Iron Mind 60 group because the Iron Mind 60 are all people who joined in. They paid to be there. You know, they're part of the system.

They're part of their group. They're part of the accountability. But I taught this the other day and it was so eye-opening to a lot of people that I thought, you know what, I should bring this to everybody else so they can hear it as well. And also I think that the people in the Iron Mind 60 will appreciate having a clear and concise episode that they can listen to as well. Because obviously in the Facebook Live that we did, you know, there's me answering questions and going back and forth. And so normally I don't teach the same things, but for this one, I think I could easily get permission

from them to go ahead and do it. And those 1,500 people would be glad to let you guys be able to benefit from this. So we're gonna talk about the self versus the I. And here's the thing, I've been into personal development for a long time. And about 14 years now. And personal development has gotten me to the point where I've read a lot of books.

I've gone to a lot of conferences. I've done a lot of stuff. I've meditated. I've pushed myself to extremes. I've done a lot of things. And what I'm starting to find out is that the path of spiritual development, not religion in any sort of way, but the path of spiritual development as to why I'm here as a human and the whole idea is starting to expand my consciousness and expand my personal development and all of the stuff that I've learned the past 14 years to make them even stronger, but also make me aware of it even more. And one book that really helped me out

with this is a book called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. And what I'll do is I'll actually put it in the show notes. So if you make a note of it right here in the show notes. OK, I'm going to do I'm going to put in the show notes. If you guys want to buy the book, you can buy the book. I definitely recommend The Power of Now. So I'll put in the show notes, you know, however you listen to this, the description, it should be there. Hopefully it's clickable for you. And there's a point where Eckhart Tolle is talking about how, you know, before he had this awakening is that he woke up one morning or one evening and woke up in the middle of the evening and he was like, I just, he was thinking about committing suicide. And he had the thought of, I can no longer live with myself. Okay. So let me say that again. I can no longer live with myself. And so what he realized through like this eye-opening enlightenment is through that statement,

I can no longer live with myself. And he realized it's almost like there's two people there. There's not two people necessarily, but there's two. There's the I and then there's the self. So the I in this statement is like the highest version of him, who he truly is. And there's the self, which is the self that he's built. And so you have built this person that you are, like this Rob Dial that I am. This is a character that I'm playing. This is, you know, who I've built, what I believe, what I do, what I hate, what offends me. All of these things are a character that I'm playing. And I'll dive deeper

into the character side just so you guys have an idea. But there's the I and then there's a self. And he had this moment of enlightenment of, oh my gosh, if I don't like the self that I have or the self that I have become, well, then what I can do instead of having to kill myself, because he was, you know, on the verge of committing suicide, instead of having to kill myself, I can change myself because there's the I, which is my true self that doesn't enjoy the self that I've built. And so, you know, this is going to be deep. You might have to listen to this a couple of times because maybe you've never heard somebody talk about this type of stuff, but it's definitely stuff that people don't normally talk about. And if you listen to this a couple of times because maybe you've never heard somebody talk about this type of stuff, but it's definitely stuff that people don't normally talk about. And if you

listen to this over and over again, it'll start to click. It'll start to make sense. And so instead of having to kill himself, he had to change the self that he has built. Because you have to realize every day you wake up, you wake up and play the same person that you were yesterday. Unless you wake up consciously and decide that you're not going to be the same person that you were yesterday. You decide that you want to be somebody different. You decide that you're no longer going to act in those same ways, be offended by those same things, get angry or pissed off in those same ways. And you're going to change the self. You're no longer happy with the self that you have. So there's the, that, you know,

if you look into what people say, spiritual, which is the high self or the true self or whatever it is, that would be the I, the one who you truly are. Because there's times, you know, I've done it many times and I bet you can admit you've done it before where you do something. Maybe you get pissed off out of nowhere or maybe you judge somebody or maybe there's a thought that comes in your head and you're like, where in the hell did that thought come from? Right? That's you becoming aware. And the path of self-development is, you've heard me say this many times if you listen to this podcast, is that when you're in the jar, you can't read the label. And what you realize as you start going down personal development and spiritual development, you start journaling, you start reading more, is that you've lived your entire life in the jar. And the jar is basically in your head,

in reaction mode, into the habits that you have. And what you realize is that you start to wake up and look on the outside and go, wait, what is the reason why I'm doing this? Why do I act this way? Why do I say those things? Why does that offend me? And you start to realize that sometimes the person that you are is based off of what people told you to do, what you thought you were supposed to do, what society said you're supposed to do, what your mom and dad and aunt and uncle all told you you were supposed to do or who you're supposed to be. And some people wake up at 40 years old and they go, this isn't who I want to be anymore.

Like what, this is what a midlife crisis is, is they wake up and they go, what the hell? Like I didn't even sign up for this life, but I've been blindly following and they feel so stuck with where they are because they've built this life and they realize this isn't the life that I want. That's the I looking at the life that the self has built and the things that the self needs to do in order to fit in with society or in order to keep up with the Joneses or in order to buy the cars or the clothes or the house or the toys, take the traveling in order to look like they're successful or in order to have this stature that people will respect you, whatever it is. And you realize that you've been living your entire life inside of a jar. your entire life inside of a jar. And when you start to journal and you start to meditate and you start to look at yourself as if you're almost somebody else looking at, like if you were to sit

down and plan a business, you'd sit down the pen and paper and you would plan that business. Well, what if you were to do that for your own self? Sit down the pen and paper and say, what do I like about myself? What do I love about myself that I want to strengthen? What are the things that I don't necessarily love about myself that I want to change and turn into something else? What are the habits and traits and qualities that I love about myself that I want to strengthen? What are the things that I don't necessarily love about myself that I want to change and turn into something else? What are the habits and traits and qualities that I love about myself? What are the habits and traits and qualities that I don't love about myself? And that is basically your eye looking at yourself. And that's where a lot of people, a lot of people, before they start working with me or before I start getting into journaling and personal development, they say, I thought I knew myself until I went down this path. And now I realized

I didn't know myself at all. I'm slowly unraveling who I am, why I react to that, why I have this pattern. You know, I gave the example in the, the, the, the Facebook live that I did and said, you know, like I, one thing that that's a reaction, it's like built into me. It feels like it's been taught and I've learned it and I can unlearn it. But it's when someone cuts me off, I get like road rage. I get pissed off. I'm like, and I just, I honk the horn. I cuss. And I used to be way worse than I am now. I try to catch myself. I sometimes do. I sometimes don't, but I realized that I learned that from my mom. My mom's a very kind, beautiful, chill lady. But if somebody cuts her off, that's like her, that's like her place of power, her place of power. Right. And same thing with me. And I've

learned that. And then, so there's my eye that goes, do I want to be that anymore? The eye, the capital I, not the eye that like the eyeballs, the capital I, I do, I want to be that anymore? The I, the capital I, not the I, like the eyeballs, the capital I. Do I want to be that anymore? Because that is just the self that I've learned through watching somebody else do something. So the question I have for you is what self have you learned to be through watching other people do stuff? What have you learned that you're, the way you're supposed to act? Because humans, we, as children, as we're being, you know, raised, we learn by being told what to do. And we learn that we learn who we're supposed to be by being told what we're supposed to do and who we're supposed to be. But we also learn

through watching other people. So it's not like my mom ever told me, Hey, when someone cuts you off, you need to get pissed off. No, it was just me watching over and over and over again. And that little bit of rage would then become my little bit of rage. And then I get more mad and I get more mad. And then when I'm driving my own car, I get mad. And so there's the I, and then there's the self. And another way of explaining this is if you've ever seen Jim Carrey, if you guys have seen, Jim Carrey has gone on this crazy spiritual development and not crazy, but you know, this huge change. And what happened was it started when he played, he played a movie. It's called, well, there's a movie called the man on the moon. And that's

the movie where he plays Tony. He plays, well, he plays Tony Clifton too, but he plays Andy Kaufman. And there's a great documentary about the movie. It's called Jim and Andy. And I a hundred percent recommend watching Jim and Andy. And it's the documentary. Jim and Andy is a documentary about the movie. It's called Jim and Andy, and I a hundred percent recommend watching Jim and Andy. And it's the documentary. Jim and Andy is a documentary about the movie Man on the Moon. So it's all the behind the scenes. And what happens is Jim Carrey was a method actor for this movie. And a method actor, if you don't know, is someone who never breaks roll. So he became Andy Kaufman. And so when the cameras turned off, he stayed Andy Kaufman. He took his habits, his traits, his qualities, the things that he did, the way that he talked, the way that he moved, he became Andy Kaufman. That's who he played for three months straight to the point

where he got lost into this. What makes it even crazier is that Andy Kaufman used to also play a guy named Tony Clifton. And so not only, so Jim Carrey is playing Andy Kaufman, who is playing Tony Clifton. So he's going deep into character, into character, into character. And it was so to the point, like, I don't want to give the movie away for you, but you should watch it, where it was, he was so much Andy Kaufman that Andy Kaufman's family, because Andy Kaufman had passed away, Andy Kaufman's family came and actually sat and talked with him as if he were really Andy because it was therapeutic for them. They said that Andy

Kaufman's daughter came and talked to Jim Carrey playing Andy Kaufman because it was so therapeutic because she felt like she was actually talking to her dad. So not only is he playing a character who's sometime playing another character, but he's also playing a character in real life, speaking to this guy's real life family and helping them process his death. And so when the whole movie ends and Jim Carrey can go back to being Jim Carrey and doesn't need to be Andy Kaufman anymore, doesn't need to be Tony Clifton, he's so lost in who he was that he doesn't, you know, in being Andy Kaufman, that he doesn't remember how to be Jim Carrey anymore. you know, in, in being Andy Kaufman, that he doesn't remember how to be Jim Carrey anymore.

He's so lost into playing another character that he had to literally go, holy crap, who the hell is Jim Carrey? Like, I know my name is Jim Carrey, but then, you know, what do I believe? What is, what pisses me off? How do I act? How do I walk? What offends me? What are my, my thoughts, patterns, habits, beliefs? And he forgot who he was because that's the awakening that he had where, oh my God, my entire life I've just been playing a character named Jim Carrey. And he realized that he wasn't actually who he thought he was. There was the I, which was the self. I'm sorry, not the self. There's the I, There was the I, which was the self that I'm sorry, not the self. There's the I, which was the being of, you know, that, that was named in, you know, Jim Carrey.

There's the I that was trying to figure out who he was supposed to be again. There's that true self, the higher self. And then there's the self, right? So there's the I and there's the self. There's the I who was trying to figure out who he was supposed to be again. And then there's the self, which is the Jim Carrey that he built. And he realized that the character of Jim Carrey was just as thin as any character he had ever played in any movie. And so when you hear that, I want you to start thinking that about yourself. What do I truly want? Do I truly want this job that I have? Do I truly want this life? Do I truly want to buy this house? Do I truly want want this life? Do I truly want to buy this house? Do I truly want to live here? Do I truly want to be in this relationship with this person? Do I truly

want to do this? Or is that just what I've been told to do? And this is just the self that I've built. And so this path of self-development and personal development makes you really go in deep and go a lot deeper than you would really think that you would because you start getting lost and going, oh my God, like, is this life the life that I truly want? Or is this just what I've been told to do? If I judge people, do I, the capital I, truly want to judge people? Or is that just something that I've learned or something that I do? Do I truly want to have such a short fuse and get angry so quickly? Do I truly want to be the person who's sad or emotional, who is anxious or who's depressed? And I don't mean depressed in a clinical depression where there's chemical imbalances.

I mean, depressed as in chronically sad. I'm always sad. I'm always thinking about the negative. I'm always going down this negative path. And that is when you truly start to get outside of the jar where you stop living inside of the jar of the self. And you start looking at your life from the outside, looking in and you go, you know what? This, uh, this life that I've built, it's beautiful. It's great. I'm not, I'm not, there's no lack of gratitude for it, but maybe I just want to make some changes. Maybe I don't want to have this huge house anymore, or maybe I don't want to play the victim anymore, or maybe I don't want to play the poor person anymore, or maybe I don't want to play the the abused child anymore. And maybe I want to just grow up and become the I that I know that I can be

and change myself. So I hope this isn't too deep for you because I wanted to go a little bit deep and I wanted to open up your mind and make you go, oh, like really make you think and go, oh shit, like, wow, what is the true life that I want? What is the true self that I want to build? Because every day that you wake up, just as Jim Carey forgot who Jim Carey was, every day that you wake up, just as Jim Carrey forgot who Jim Carrey was, every day that you wake up, you're agreeing to play the character that you've always played. But what's great about that is that if you no longer like the self, you no longer like the character or certain aspects of the character, you can wake up tomorrow and just decide that you're not going to

play that role anymore. You're going to play a different role. And here's the thing. Society, what we like to do is we like to say, hey, this is who you've always been and this is who you always have to be. And some people might not be okay with your changes, but if they truly love you and they truly know that what you're doing is best for you and they truly want what's best for you to happen, then they should be excited about the change that you're going to make. If you've been a judgmental, short-fused person that always has barriers up and don't let people in and you have a sharp tongue, it might be hard to make the transition in your mind to, I'm going to wake up tomorrow and just be a fully accepting and loving person. Because it's so vastly different than who you've ever been. But you have to have the courage to say, who do I want to be? I no longer want to be this person anymore. I want to be loving. I want to be

kind. I want to be giving. I want to be accepting of everybody else. I don't want to judge anymore. I don't want to be selfish anymore. I don't want to be this way anymore. I don't want to judge anymore. I don't want to be selfish anymore. I don't want to be this way anymore. I don't want to be sharp-tongued. I don't want to say things that make people feel bad. I want to be kind. I want to be loving. I want to be accepting. And I want to give that love to other people. It is okay for you to wake up tomorrow and decide that tomorrow you're going to be a completely different person. And that is the I looking at the self that you have been and go, you know what? I'm just going to be a different self. I'm going to play a different character. I'm still going to be Rob Dial, but I'm going to be the better version of Rob Dial

than I know the I truly wants to be. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. Hopefully it's not too crazy deep in the weeds. I appreciate you going down this path with me. I appreciate you allowing me to open up and tell you these types of things because I want to be able to give you guys the goods and not just talk about, hey, let's talk about motivation.

I don't wanna just talk about motivation. I wanna talk about how to completely change your life and become the person that you want to be. I don't want to motivate you just to go out and make money. I know a lot of people start with my podcast because they start listening to it because they go, you know what? I'm not motivated to work. I want to make more money. And then they go in, they type in motivation, they type in mindset on the podcasting app and they find it and they're looking for that motivation. But what I truly want you to be is I don't want you to just be motivated to make money.

I want you to be truly passionate about who you are and who you are becoming. So that's what I got for you for today. If you love this episode, if this was super eye-opening for you, please share it with someone that you know and love. And also you guys may have seen, if you follow me on Instagram or Facebook,

my Instagram handle is robdialjr. So R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. So if you follow me on Instagram or Facebook. My Instagram handle is RobDialJR. So R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. So if you follow me on there, you guys have seen I've been reposting a lot of your stories, a lot of the stuff that you've been tagging me in. So if you're putting me on the stories, you're putting me, you know, you're listening to me in your car or, you know, you're listening to me, you know, as you're at the gym or whatever it is. And you take a screenshot of it, you take a video recording of it, whatever it is. I like to share them. We've been sharing a lot of them lately. So other than that, as always, I'm gonna leave the same way I leave you every single episode, make it your mission,

make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.