The Mindset Mentor - I WILL

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dylan. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you love this podcast and you've gotten some value from it in your life, please do me a favor. Give us a rating or review on iTunes or Apple Podcasts. Whenever there's more people that say, hey, this is great, they give good reviews, iTunes, Apple decides, hey, you know what? We should show this to more people and we grow organically and more people can listen to this. So if you've ever gotten any value, please do me a favor. Just give us a rating or review and I love you for it.

Starting point is 00:00:37 Today, I'm going to be talking about the word I want or the words I want versus the words I will. And I have to get something off my chest with you guys. I'm really, really tired of excuses. And just so you know, I used to be an incredible excuse maker. I still find myself making excuses sometimes. So I'm preaching to myself. And I hope you don't see me as preaching from a soapbox during this because I'm talking to myself as much as I'm talking to you guys. But I'm in the process of writing a book and I'm also running a business and I have this podcast and I have a bunch of other things that I do as well. And I used to be an incredible excuse maker. And I remember,

Starting point is 00:01:15 if you've heard me talk about the conversation I had with my very first mentor, where we had a real heart-to-heart conversation. And for two years, I worked with him and I don't remember anything else that he told me except for one conversation. We had a real heart-to-heart conversation. And for two years, I worked with him and I don't remember anything else that he told me except for one conversation. We had a great conversation, but there's one of them that stood in my mind and I won't forget it until the day that I die. And I was making excuses. I wasn't getting the sales that I wanted to. I wasn't having the life that I wanted to. I wasn't making the phone calls that I needed to. I wasn't doing anything that I was supposed to do in order to have the success that I wanted. I wasn't working out as much as I said I was going to be working out. So my body wasn't what I wanted it

Starting point is 00:01:47 to be. So I had all these things that were going on in my life. And I was making all of these excuses as to why I wasn't where I wanted to be. I would show up late to our phone calls and then I'd blame it on circumstances. And you've heard me talk about it before most likely, but he said, listen, if a business fails, whose fault is it? And I said, it's the CEO's fault. And he said, if a business exceeds, whose fault is it? I said, it's the CEO's fault. And he said, okay, so if you get to the end of your life and you regret and wish that you would have done more and wish that you would have had more joy, happiness, peace, success, better body, more love, everything, and you don't have all of those things that you wanted, whose fault is that? And I was like, I guess it's my fault. And he goes, but if you do get to the end of your life and it's amazing

Starting point is 00:02:27 and it's beautiful, you've done so many amazing things, you've impacted so many people, you've had the joy, happiness, success, everything that you wanted, whose fault is that? And I said, it's my fault. He said, the problem with you, Rob, is that you're not living your life as if you're the CEO of your life. No one is going to come to save you. I remember being like, oh shit, I think I get it now. I think I get it because I was always living my life in I want. I want to make the money that I want to make. I want to have the body. I want to have the relationship. I want to have the success. I want this. I want this. I want this. And I'm going to talk to you today about switching from saying I want to I will,

Starting point is 00:03:05 going to talk to you today about switching from saying I want to I will. Making a conscious decision that come hell or high water, I'm going to get what I want out of my life, whatever that is. And there is no other option except for just getting this. That is it. There is no other option. I'm going to get the success that I want. And success to you is different to somebody else. Success is just a relative term. It could be joy, peace, happiness, money, cars, traveling, fame. It could be a beautiful family. It could be a great marriage. Whatever it is success means to you is to say, I will get this. Not I want to have a successful marriage.

Starting point is 00:03:36 I will have a successful marriage. You see that? There's just a little bit of a word shift. There's a little bit with the word shift, but there's a massive mindset shift of no matter what, I'm going to get this. I remember it reminds me of when I was, just to give you guys an idea, just rewinding back about seven years ago, I had some injuries that put me from the best shape of my life. I was 205 pounds, all muscle. I was in the best shape of my life and I got injured and I wasn't able to work out anymore. And people kept, I lost about 17 pounds and people were like, man, you look so

Starting point is 00:04:09 thin. You look so thin. You look great. And I was like, yeah, I'm not working out. And I kept hearing the same thing over and over again from people. I kept hearing, oh man, well, I wish that I would lose weight if I didn't work out. I wish that I would lose weight if I didn't work out. I wish that I would lose weight if I didn't work out. But I guarantee those people didn't pay attention to their diet like I did at the time. Because of the fact that I knew that I couldn't work out, I was very, very clear on exactly what my diet was going to be. So therefore, I wouldn't gain weight. I stopped saying, I want to have the body that I want. I started saying, I will have the body that I want. So you've got to stop using the phrase, I want. Stop playing the victim card. Because when we say I want, we're blaming something

Starting point is 00:04:49 outside of us. I want this thing is going, well, it'd be nice to have this. It'd be nice to have the body that I want. No, I will get the body that I want. I will weigh 185 pounds. I will have less than 10% body fat. I will have an amazing marriage. I will be the best father that's ever existed. I will be the best mother that's ever existed. Because when we're saying I want, we're taking it from a place of, oh, it'd be really nice, but there's a whole lot of external circumstances that are in my way that might hold me back from it. When you say I will, you're canceling out all of the external circumstances and saying, I don't care what happens because I'm going to create this. I'm going to create

Starting point is 00:05:29 the life that I want. I'm going to create the success that I want. I'm going to create the happiness that I want. So you got to stop playing the victim card and blaming external circumstances as well. Stop saying you want to look like someone, but you weren't blessed with the genetics that they have. Please. Do you have the same genetics as someone else? No. But does it mean that you can't get the body that someone else has? Absolutely not. Stop allowing yourself to get off the hook. Just stop it. Just don't allow yourself to get off the hook. How many times do you make little excuses throughout the day? And I want you to become aware of this as you're listening to me today. And I want you to start listening to me, thinking of this as you go through the rest of your day and tomorrow and the next day, but even just today. Think about how

Starting point is 00:06:12 many little tiny excuses that you've made so far today. And then as you're going through today, I want you to become aware of how many little excuses that you're holding yourself back with. Not big ones, just little tiny excuses. Because it's like, you know, a little excuse is basically like fishing wire. If there's just one fishing wire and it's attached to you, it's not going to hold you back. You're eventually going to break it. But if you have a thousand fishing wires that are just holding you back, you're not going to be able to break a thousand fishing wires. And that's what these little excuses are like. And you have to realize that you can look however you want. You can have the body however you want, but you have to be willing to work your freaking butt off to look that way, to get that

Starting point is 00:06:51 money. You have to work yourself at the gym. You have to work yourself in the kitchen. You have to work yourself in your business. You have to work hard at everything that you do. And this correlates to everything in your life, not just your body or your success. It literally is every single aspect of who you are. I was overhearing a conversation the other day and it stood out. One of the things that's great about being a human and having a podcast that deals with humans is my entire life is basically me listening and getting content for this podcast. And I heard somebody say, I wish that I could have this, but. Hey, you want another thing to remove from your conversations, from your conversations with others, but also with yourself? But. Oh,

Starting point is 00:07:34 I want to have an incredible body, but I just don't have the same genes as that person who has that incredible body on Instagram. Oh, I want to have a successful marriage, but my wife, she has this going on. Oh, I want to have a successful business, but I have kids and kids take up time and I just can't have a successful business because I don't have enough time because I have kids. I want to have all of the happiness in my life, but I was raised with parents that didn't raise me the right way. So my life was started off wrong. I'm basically just going to be lost forever from this. I'm not going to be able to fix it. I wish X, Y, Z, but.

Starting point is 00:08:10 Remove the word but and just say, I will. Instead of, oh, I wish I'd have the body that I wanted. I will have the body that I want. Is it going to be easy? No, nothing that you want will ever be easy. I'm here to tell you that. Nothing will ever be easy. Success isn't going to be easy. Happiness isn't will ever be easy. I'm here to tell you that. Nothing will ever be easy. Success isn't going to be easy.

Starting point is 00:08:27 Happiness isn't going to be easy. Joy isn't going to be easy. An incredible relationship isn't going to be easy. Being the best parent in the world isn't going to be easy. Self-development isn't going to be easy. All of these things take work, but nothing in this world is worth it if you don't have to work for it.

Starting point is 00:08:42 Take the butt out of everything that you do. You don't have good genetics. Who cares? But that shouldn't be holding you back. It means you have to put in more work. Sure, maybe you don't have the genetics of somebody else, but you know what? You're going to have to put in more work than them. If you put in the work, you'll get the body that you want. You have to put in the work in the gym. You have to put in the work in the kitchen. The question is not whether or not you have the genetics to do so. You have to put in the work in the kitchen. The question is not whether or not you have the genetics to do so.

Starting point is 00:09:11 The question is, do you have the mental fortitude and the work ethic to get that body? Do you have the mental fortitude and the work ethic to get the business that you need? Do you have the mental fortitude to work and be able to get what it is that you want to out of your relationship with everybody, to become the best parent, to work on yourself. Because knowing that working on yourself is going to benefit not only you, but everybody who is in your immediate sphere. Your children, your family, your spouse, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, everybody. Hey, working on your self-improvement, that can be tough. Putting in the work to hire your next great candidate for your business,

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Starting point is 00:11:28 free HR audit today. Go to bambi.com slash dial right now to schedule your free HR audit. That's bambi.com slash dial. That's B-A-M-B-E-E.com slash dial. This is your life. You've got to decide that you're going to step up and do it or you got to just sit in the background. Because here's the thing. I've learned that most people are living their life. Say you're on a ship, right? And you're on a ship, and where this ship goes is your life. That's it. When you're born, you get put into a ship, and you just get pushed off into the ocean. Most people act and live their life as if they have no control of the tide. They have no control over what happens. And they're just going east and then they're going west and the rain

Starting point is 00:12:10 comes in and then the storm comes in and they just float around in the ocean and things happen and they're just reactive, reactive, reactive. Hopefully I can get through today. Oh, I'm just getting by. When then you realize at some point in time, maybe it's during this podcast, maybe it's while you're growing yourself in personal environment, you realize that you've been on a ship and the whole time you've been on a ship, there'd been a freaking steering wheel right there. And you've never stepped up to the plate of your steering wheel and said, oh, I can steer this damn thing to wherever I want it to go. Oh, I want to go over to Spain. All right, I'm going to go to Spain. Versus like, oh, I hope that the rains and the winds and the tides just take me over to Spain one day,

Starting point is 00:12:50 but if I don't, oh, it's the government's fault. It's the president's fault. It's my spouse's fault. It's my parents' fault because they didn't raise me the right way. It's my genetics fault. No, you have the opportunity at any point in time to decide, you know what, I'm going to step into the driver's seat of my life. But you also have the opportunity to do nothing. You have the opportunity to just sit back and just let it all happen to you. So what's the difference between a very successful person and an unsuccessful person? An unsuccessful person just lets life happen to them. And then they blame all of the external circumstances. Oh, I didn't get where I wanted to because the tides were too strong, because the winds were too strong, because there are too many

Starting point is 00:13:28 waves coming in this way. A successful person says, I don't care about the tide. I don't care about the winds. I don't care about the rain. I don't care about any of that. I'm going to get to Spain and I'm going to get there at some point in time. It might take a year. It might take two years. It might take the rest of my life, but no matter what, I'm going to go on this path and I'm eventually going to get to Spain. Not, I wish I get to Spain. No, it's like, I don't give a crap about anything else that happens. I will get there or I will die trying. You know, I have a friend who's a bodybuilder You know, I have a friend who's a bodybuilder and he's super inspiring. He's got no legs, none. And his upper body makes me look like a little wimpy guy. Now you would look at him,

Starting point is 00:14:17 he lost his legs when he was younger. You could look at him and be like, oh man, like he has a lot of excuses. He could have, and rightfully so, you look at me like, yeah, he could have excuses. He doesn't have any legs. But literally, this guy is insane. He's more ripped than I am. He's in better shape than I am. And I look at him and I'm like, what excuses do I have? What excuses do I have? Because this guy's not playing the excuse card. He's the only person ever, just so you guys know, to go from one side of the United States to the other side of the United States on a bike, literally pedaling with his hands. And then you look at yourself and you're like, well, damn, my legs work, my arms work. Everything works pretty well with me. What is my excuse? Are you going to tell me that you're less capable than him?

Starting point is 00:15:00 Oh, the only difference, I'm not talking about the body between the difference between us and him. The difference is the mindset. You're more capable in many ways, but he has a stronger mind. He won't let the fact that he doesn't have legs hold him back. You have to have the mental fortitude to get the body that you want. You have to have mental fortitude

Starting point is 00:15:18 to get the business that you want. Doesn't care if I don't have legs. I don't care if I don't have legs. I don't care if I don't have the genetics. I don't care if I had parents that were shitty. None of those things matter because what matters is what I do right now. The place that I decide to stand right now in my mental life and say, you know what? I'm going to go that direction no matter what. Stop letting yourself off the hook. There is no hook to be let off of. You're creating the hook and you're

Starting point is 00:15:42 trying to let yourself off of it. The hook doesn't exist. It is not real. Stop letting yourself off of the imaginary hook. Because if you wanted to, we could literally, if I said, hey, come up with an excuse of all the reasons why you can't hit your goal. You could make a list. I can make a list. We could make a million items of reasons of, oh, it's this happened. And this happened to me when I was a childhood and I was bullied. And my dad was an alcoholic and he passed away when I was young. And I have all the excuses as well. You have all the excuses as to why. But when you put in the work for whatever it is that you're trying to do and you decide to make the stance that it's not, I'm not going to say I wish anymore. I'm not going to say I want anymore. I'm going to say I will. I'm going to take control of my life. I will get the

Starting point is 00:16:25 life that I want. I will get the body they want. I will get the family that I want. I will get the spouse that I want. I'm not going to let myself off the imaginary hook anymore. You don't get to where you want to go by making excuses for things. You've heard me say it before. I'll say it again. I'll preach from the mountaintop. Excuses are like buttholes. Everyone has one and they all stink. It's not your genetics. It's not your genetics. It's not your past. It's not your present. It's your mind. It's always your mind. It will always be your mind. Maybe you don't go to the gym. Maybe you should start. Maybe you had a long day at work. Maybe you should still go to the gym. Maybe you had a really agitating day. Maybe you should figure out

Starting point is 00:17:01 a way to come home and be kind to your spouse and your children. You know, maybe you do have a really successful business, but you're super stressed out when you come home. Okay. Are you going to get some time with your children and actually raise them correctly to the type of person they could be, the type of person you want to be? There's a million excuses in the world as to why you're not going to succeed or get whatever it is that you want. And you can find them if you look for them. But when you have the idea in your head of, I don't give a damn what happens to me. I don't care like I'm in the ship. I don't care about the tides or the rain or the wind or any of that stuff. I will eventually get to where I want to go because I will get there no matter what. And nothing, absolutely freaking nothing is going to hold me back.

Starting point is 00:17:47 Change your mindset to think like that and see what happens to you in your life. See what happens to you in your relationship. See what happens to your bank account. See what happens to your children. And when they see a parent that's raising them with no excuses, they're going to be fully present. They're going to make the best relationship and the best business and everything that they possibly can. See what your children end up

Starting point is 00:18:07 coming up like when they're 18, 19, 20, 25 years old, when they're raised by a parent who has that mental fortitude. Not only are you going to change yourself, you're also going to change them. So stop saying I wish, stop saying I want, and start saying I will. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I also share at least three times a day, tons of pictures, quotes, videos, stories, everything to try to help you as much as I possibly can on my Instagram. So if you want some extra motivation, inspiration, mindset skills, all of that stuff in your Instagram feed, go ahead and follow me on that platform, RobDialJr, R-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode, make it your mission

Starting point is 00:18:53 to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you all. I love you all. I'm on your side. I'm rooting for you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - I WILL

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