The Mindset Mentor - Improve Your Mental Health & Productivity

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast, the number one mindset podcast in the entire world. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you live in the United States or Canada and you want to join my weekly inspirational text and video chat, go ahead and text me right now. 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. And I'll text you periodically throughout the week with some inspirational texts, mindset texts, videos, all that stuff in your phone.

Starting point is 00:00:44 Today, we're going to be talking about how to improve your mental health and your productivity as well. And we're going to be talking about to-do lists, but not the type of to-do list that you've probably ever used before. Because one of, we all know, like one of the biggest steps to getting things done and being productive is create a to-do list. What do I want to do? What needs to be done? And then it's about creating one every single day of what needs to be done for the day to make sure that we're productive, but also to make sure that we, I mean, if we're being honest, it feels really good to cross something off of our list. So we have a big thing that needs to be done today

Starting point is 00:01:17 and we can cross it off our list. It feels really good, doesn't it? Like I know people who, who will create their to-do list, then they'll go do something and they realize that thing is not on their to-do list. They go back to their to-do list and then cross it off. Some people listening to me are literally laughing because you're like, oh shit, I've done that before. But today we're not going to be talking about to-do lists to be more productive. What we're actually going to be talking about is something that is called an anti-to-do list. And so an anti-to-do list is the complete opposite of a normal to-do list, and it will help you with your productivity, but it's also really going to help you with your mental health as well. So an anti-to-do list is a list of tasks or habits that you

Starting point is 00:01:58 consciously want to avoid or consciously want to stop doing. So these could be things that waste your time. They could be something like mindlessly scrolling on social media and wasting your life looking at other people's lives, which is just insane. Or it could be things like hitting the snooze button. Both of those things could go on your anti-to-do list. The idea behind an anti-to-do list is to eliminate the actions in your life that you don't want to do anymore or that drain your energy or that take up too much focus in your brain that you want to get rid of or that waste too much of your time so that you can go ahead and remove these things from your life so that you can actually start to work on your real to-do lists and get yourself to where you want to be in life. Because there's what you need

Starting point is 00:02:49 to do, but there's also what you need to stop doing to get you to where you want to go. If you're just focusing on what you need to do, that's 50% of the equation. And traditional to-do lists are just about ticking off tasks, like just crossing off the different tasks. An anti-to-do list is sometimes more than anything else about self-awareness. It's about your self-awareness of who you want to be, what you want to do, who you don't want to be, what you don't want to do. So it's about self-awareness, but it's also about control. And really what an anti-to-do list does is there are certain things that we know we want to stop doing, but we've only been thinking about these things. When we take it and we put it onto a piece of paper, I always say the

Starting point is 00:03:29 best part about putting something on, like taking it out of your brain and putting it on paper, is when you put it on paper, it can be planned. It can be worked through. You can figure out how to get past these things. And they really, an anti-to-do list just helps you identify and remove the blocks to your productivity and to your well-being. And it's really important because, you know, of course, we know where we want to go in life and we know, okay, well, I know I need to do these things. I know who I need to become. I know who I need to be. I know what I want to accomplish. And all of those are great. But once again, like I said a few minutes ago, that's really only about 50% of the equation. It is just as important to know what we don't want to do. What do I not want

Starting point is 00:04:10 to do anymore? What are the roadblocks that are in the way of my productivity? What are the roadblocks? What are the things that I do that are holding me back? What are the thoughts that I think that are holding me back from creating the life that I want? How am I self-sabotaging and how can I remove those? That's really what an anti-to-do list is about. It's what I don't want to do anymore, who I don't want to be, and what pitfalls we might fall into in the entire process. More than anything else, it allows us, like I said, to see it on a piece of paper and to plan what we don't want, who we don't want to be, and what we want to avoid in order to create the lives that we want. And so from when you look at

Starting point is 00:04:49 this, there's a lot of, you might be like, hey, yeah, this is great. But from a psychological perspective and a neurological perspective, it's actually really beneficial to actually start to use anti-to-do lists. From a psychological perspective, anti-to-do lists can be really powerful because they help you manage your stress. A lot of times when you actually start to plan out and start to create these anti-to-do lists, what you're putting down are a lot of the things that actually cause you more stress to either do or to constantly have energy being wasted towards them because you're thinking about all the time. So they help you manage your stress because they eliminate almost everything that causes you stress in the first place. Pretty damn important, right? So not only

Starting point is 00:05:30 are they good for your productivity, they're also really good for your mental health. And so by focusing on what it is that you need to do in to-do lists and what it is that you don't want to do, when you don't want to do these things, I don't want to stress, I don't want to sleep in anymore, I don't want to treat my friends this way, I don't want to show these things. I don't want to stress. I don't want to sleep in anymore. I don't want to treat my friends this way. I don't want to show up in business this way anymore. Whatever it might be, you're more likely to engage in healthier and more productive behaviors,

Starting point is 00:05:53 which lowers your stress, lowers your anxiety, and helps you become better. And so really it's the art of becoming more self-aware, of self-awareness, and to be more proactive in your life and more intentional in your life for what you will no longer accept, what you will no longer do, what you're going to get rid of that holds you back. So that's from a psychological perspective. From a neurological perspective, using an anti-to-do list to avoid certain tasks can actually start to positively rewire your brain.

Starting point is 00:06:30 Now you might be like, all right, that sounds kooky. Show me the proof. Well, when you consistently avoid a specific behavior or you avoid a negative habit that might be really strong in your life right now, when you stop doing something, you actually weaken that habit connection in your brain. And so if you have the habit of, I don't know, let's say constantly playing the victim, something happens to you and you're like, oh, woe is me. And you play the victim card. You've been playing the victim card your entire life. And you've been doing that for a long time.

Starting point is 00:07:01 When you consciously say, I'm not going to, with your anti-to-do list, and I'll talk to you about what an anti-to-do list looks like. I'll actually walk you through one in just a minute. When you say, I'm going to stop playing the victim in my life, well, then what happens is you might have a really strong victim habit connection wiring in your brain right now. When you stop doing it, it actually weakens that connection and allows you to strengthen new connections that you want to build through your actual to-do list. So it's going to be hard at first because you do have these really strong connections,

Starting point is 00:07:32 but it requires you to have a lot of intention of what you want to change, what you want to stop doing, but also attention, which intention and attention bring more self-awareness. But over time, as those connections start to weaken, it makes it easier to break these habits. And so you're basically training your brain to form new and healthier habits by using this. And so neurologists have actually found that intentional avoidance,

Starting point is 00:08:00 which is what this can be called, can lead to long-term positive changes in brain functioning. And so by regularly using these anti-to-do lists and waking up and saying, hey, this is what I don't want to do, this is who I don't want to be, this is how I don't want to act, you're essentially rewiring your brain for improved focus and productivity and self-awareness of who you want to become. And so let me give you a couple of examples so that, you know, so it's not just theory, but we're actually looking at this is what a anti-to-do list could look like. So there's two categories that I really think about when I think of anti-to-do list.

Starting point is 00:08:31 The first one is personal, like who do I want to be? Who do I not want to be anymore? Like in my personal life. And the other side is professional. So what is the personal anti-to-do list? What is a professional anti-to-do list? And so here's a couple of examples that I came up with of what I think a lot of people out there would probably want to do. So an anti-to-do

Starting point is 00:08:51 list is something like, in personal, I won't use my phone after 6 p.m. so that I can spend more time with my children. And the reason why I'm going to do that is because I want to be a more present parent. The amount of times that I have people write into me or talk to me on Zoom calls and like the Mindset Mentor University calls that we have each week, they're like, I gotta get off my phone. I need to spend more time with my children. Well, okay, I won't use my phone after 6 p.m.

Starting point is 00:09:17 is an example of an anti-to-do list. I'm gonna do that because I wanna spend more time with my children. I wanna be a more present parent. Beautiful. Let's put that down on a piece of paper. What's the next one? I won't go one week without taking my wife out on a date.

Starting point is 00:09:34 And the reason why is because it's important for me to put that relationship above everything else in my life. So that's an anti-to-do list. I won't go. I will not be the person who doesn't go on a date every single week with my wife. Okay. I, I won't, I will not hit the snooze button ever again. That's an anti-to-do list task. Why? Because when I was a fully conscious human, I decided that I was going to set that alarm for 6am and I set it for a reason. And when I say I do something, I do it.

Starting point is 00:10:07 That's the type of person that I'm building myself into. So I will not hit the snooze button ever again. I will not look at my phone for at least an hour after waking up. You see these examples? I will not do this. I will not, I will not, I will not. I will not look at my phone for at least an hour after I wake up. Why?

Starting point is 00:10:23 Because I have seen the studies that show how susceptible we are in the first 60 minutes after waking up. And the studies that show that people who look at their phone within 60 minutes of waking up tend to be more anxious in the morning and throughout the rest of their day. So I've decided consciously that I will not look at my phone for the first 60 minutes after waking up. Boom. Cool. We're getting a good list of these personal things together. I will not have coffee within the first 60, first, excuse me, 90 minutes of waking up. You guys are like, oh shit, I don't like that one. Right? Why is that? Why would I do that? Why would I not want to have coffee in the first? Because I want coffee as soon as I wake up. Well, I need to let the melatonin

Starting point is 00:11:01 in my brain leave my brain. Melatonin is what makes me tired, right? Caffeine works better if you have it after 90 minutes of waking up. And studies show that people who have caffeine, wait 90 minutes after they wake up, are less anxious throughout the day. So I will not look at my phone within the first 60 minutes. I want to have coffee until 90 minutes after waking up. Okay, like I'm looking, I'm creating of who I will not be as much as the to-do list

Starting point is 00:11:26 and the planning and the goal setting of who I will be and what I do want to create. I will not allow myself to complain about anything. Because why? Because I'm tired of playing the victim in my life.

Starting point is 00:11:36 I'm not the victim. I'm the creator of my life. So I will not complain about anything ever again. What's another one? I will not shy away from things that scare me. I want to change myself. I want to change my life. I understand I have to get out of my comfort zone

Starting point is 00:11:48 in order to get out, create the life that I want. I'm gonna have to get out of my comfort zone. So I will not shy away from things that scare me anymore. So that's an example of like personal, right? Let's go into professional. What could this look like in professional? I will no longer show up late to work or to any meetings, right? Which will require me to get better at time management, show that I can be counted on and that this is important to me. So if you're the type of person who shows up to like your Zoom meetings at work, like seven minutes late, well, maybe you should just say, hey, what can I do to become better

Starting point is 00:12:20 at it? So I, you know, in my professional life, I will not show up to meetings late anymore. Another thing, I will not cross off my easy items first. So like, if I look at like the 80-20 rule, which says that 20% of what you do, like the tasks, if you were to put all of your tasks that you do in your business or at work on a piece of paper, and you were to say, what are the top 20%, 20% of those will give you about 80% of the results in what it is that you do. So instead of going, okay, here's my normal to-do list. I'm going to cross off the easy things. It's like, I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm going to cross off the hard

Starting point is 00:12:52 things first. So I will not cross off the easy things first. Because if they're easy, they're probably not making a big change in your life. They're not really productive. I will not say yes to things anymore just because I'm a people pleaser, right? There's a lot of people pleasers that just say yes to anything. Why am I doing a people pleaser, right? There's a lot of people pleasers that just say yes to anything. Why am I doing this? Because I'm trying to break that habit of being a people pleaser. So I'm not going to say yes just because I want to be a people pleaser. I will not create meetings unless there is a clear and defined reason for that meeting.

Starting point is 00:13:20 And so it's like I won't create meetings just to brainstorm or just to get people together. I'm going to make sure that if I put a meeting together, it's going to be, it's going to be solid. We can know exactly what we need to get done in that time. I will not go one day without checking in and doing a one-on-one with at least one member of my team. So I won't go more than a day without doing a one-on-one on my team. I'm going to check in with everybody throughout the course of the day, you know, and then I'll have one person that I'm like, you know what, this is,

Starting point is 00:13:48 I'm going to do a one-on-one every single day with my team. I will not check my email more than twice per day. I've read that the average person checks their email like 34 times a day, right? So for me, why don't you check in the morning and then check in the evening? I know some of you guys might have to check it more, but so many people are like slaves to their email. You don't need to check your email that much. And you know, if you want more information on how to do that, one book that really changed my thought and my perspective around it was the four hour work week by Tim Ferriss, where he checks it like every few days. So he talks about how to communicate that, how to set it up, all those things. But I will not check my email more than twice per day. Um, I will not bring my work home with me anymore because I want to make sure that I have a clearly defined, this is my work. This is my,

Starting point is 00:14:28 my, my home time and my life. So that's kind of what they look like. There's a few examples. So, so how do we do it? Creating a really good anti-to-do list requires you to have reflection on like what you have been doing, what you want to stop doing, but also like extreme honesty with yourself. And the thing that I really wrote down is like, start by asking yourself three questions. First question is what are my typical time wasting habits, right? So like social media or checking email or whatever it might be, going to my friend's desk and talking to them for 17 minutes in the middle of the day. So like, what are my typical time wasting habits? Next question is what negative behaviors do I want to get rid of? And the third question is how am I holding myself back? If you can answer those questions, you're going to probably come up with a pretty solid anti-to-do list. And it's really crucial to be as specific

Starting point is 00:15:18 as possible instead of vague. Like don't, I won't waste time. What the fuck does that mean? Like, right. So many people are like, well, I want to make more money. I don't, I want to lose weight. I will not waste time. What does that mean? So it's like, what are the things that cause you to waste time? You know, I'm going to, I will not watch TV for more than an hour every night. That's a better example of instead of, oh, I will not waste time. Well, let's get very clear on how you're wasting time right now. Be very clear, be very specific what you want to stop doing. And then also the next part of it is after you decide what it is

Starting point is 00:15:54 that you want to stop doing, it's also why you want to stop doing it. So what are the exact reasons why you want to stop doing it? If you notice that I went through every single one of these, I don't want to bring my homework. I'm going to put my phone in the drawer and I will not check it after 6 p.m.

Starting point is 00:16:08 Why? Because I want to be a more present parent. That's the reason why. So you come up with the what, but then you also come up with the why. So one challenge that might come up as you're doing this is the temptation to kind of slip back into old habits. This is why you want to try to keep your anti-to-do list visible. So you see it throughout the day,

Starting point is 00:16:25 but also review it every single morning. Look at it. Okay, how am I setting myself up? Who do I not want to be throughout the day? What do I not want to do throughout the day? Another thing that I would also try to stay away from is being too ambitious. Don't come up with an anti-to-do list that's 400 things because you're probably not going to get all of them done. Why don't you just start with the top three things that you really want to get locked in? You're not going to be this type of person anymore and then expand your list gradually. And so really that's what it comes down to

Starting point is 00:16:51 is to create an anti-to-do list of who you don't want to be, what you don't want to do, what actions you don't want to take, what thoughts you don't want to have anymore. And it's really important just to, you know, I don't want to be this person. I don't want to do these.

Starting point is 00:17:03 And I want to avoid these pitfalls so that we can start to plan our lives out through the to-do list, but also figure out who we want to be through the anti-to-do list and what we're going to avoid. Because what you need to do is 50%, but what you don't need to do, what you need to avoid is the other 50%. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And once again, if you want to sign up for our inspirational texts, videos, once again, it's only US and Canada only. Text me right now. It's 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. And with that, I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you,

Starting point is 00:17:45 and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - Improve Your Mental Health & Productivity

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