The Mindset Mentor - Is Everyone Addicted to Something?

Episode Date: March 31, 2022

Is it possible that we are all addicted to something? In this episode, we’ll talk about the act of numbing - why we do it, how we do it, and how to stop. Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you live in the United States or Canada and you want to receive motivational text messages

from me directly to your cell phone, text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. Today, we're going to be talking about addictions, and we're going to be talking about numbing. And I'm going to be telling you, and hopefully, you're going to understand this, that majority of the people that are out there in the world, myself, probably yourself included, is addicted to something. And when we think about addictions, we usually think about drugs. We usually think about alcohol. We usually think about those. And those are easy to look at. And a lot of people are very quick to place judgment and blame on those people. Now, for me, I have a lot more experience with addiction because I grew up with a father who was addicted to alcohol. So I was able to see

what that was like in that side of it. And my father never overcame his addiction. And he ended up asking me when I was 15 from that addiction. But I understand why he had that addiction. And I understand where it came from. It was a form of numbing because he had never overcome his father's suicide from when he was 12 years old. So it was a form of numbing his feelings and running away from his feelings. And that's what a lot of people are doing as well. And we're going to talk about it through the eyes of addiction. We're going to talk about it through the eyes of numbing, but we're also going to talk about it to make sense through the actual lens of your nervous system, right? The lens of your nervous system,

because your nervous system basically has two states. There's the sympathetic nervous system, and there's the parasympathetic nervous system. Now, I don't want to go too, too deep into them, so I'll give you like a 10,000-foot overview so it makes sense. Now, before I dive into it, you're going to think that one of them is good and one of them is bad. Neither one is good. Neither one is bad. Both of them are necessary for humans, for our survival. And at one point in time, we are usually in one of the other ones, like one more than the other one. So you might be like 90% in sympathetic and 10% parasympathetic. Now, the two different states, let me talk about them and then I'll explain to you how addiction and how numbing tends to work

a lot of times. There is the sympathetic nervous system. Now, sympathetic seems like it would be the good one because sympathetic, to be a sympathetic person, is a good thing. But sympathetic is alertness, it is high energy, and it is fight or flight. When you are in parasympathetic, I'm sorry, when you are in sympathetic, you have increased heart rate, you have increased rate of breathing, and your pupils dilate. So basically, if you can think fight or flight, there might be a threat. That is sympathetic.

Usually what it does is it takes a lot of blood away from your internal organs because when you're in fight or flight, what you really need is blood in your muscles so that you can run or that you can fight. Okay, so that is sympathetic. Parasympathetic is considered conserve and restore, right? Conserve and restore. It is decreased heart rate and it is decreased rate of breathing as well. So let me say it one more time. Sympathetic, fight or flight, increased heart rate and increased rate of breathing. Parasympathetic is conserve and restore,

decreased heart rate, decreased rate of breathing. So why does somebody numb? A lot of times the reason why someone numbs or runs away from something is because there is something that they don't want to look at. Something that might be, for instance, a trauma that happened in their past that they're still bringing up. Or it is something that is currently in their circumstances right now. And instead of actually dealing with that thing, they would rather numb because numbing tends to send somebody into parasympathetic.

And so a lot of times, the numbing is to calm the nervous system, to go from sympathetic to parasympathetic. And the reason why people tend to numb or to go towards addictions is because a lot of people lack the tools to mentally and physically be able to do that. We're not taught in school. We're taught trigonometry. I don't know what the last fucking time I used trigonometry was, but I was not taught how to breathe and how to actually get myself from sympathetic to parasympathetic. That would have been a really good thing for us to learn when we were in school, wouldn't it? Instead of me learning trigonometry and for me to use, you know, I don't know the last time I used the Pythagorean theorem. I don't even know how to pronounce the damn thing. Pythagorean theorem. And so, you know, a lot of people lack the tools

to mentally and physically be able to take themselves from sympathetic, fight or flight, down to parasympathetic, which is conserve and restore and more of a chill, which is the parasympathetic, okay? Letmpathetic. Now that I've given you this and we can look at this, let me actually tell you through the lens of something else and so it'll make sense to you. Let's take this and let's put it into a real life circumstance. One of the most common and often overlooked addictions is food. Food can be an addiction and can be used for numbing. The thing that makes it harder for a lot of people to actually say that out loud is because food is necessary for your survival.

And so we trick ourselves by thinking, well, I'm just doing this for my survival. Or people won't say that that person has this issue right here because it might be some issue with their trauma or whatever it might be. So it's not necessarily the most politically correct thing sometimes, but I'm just going to tell you most of the time, one of the most overlooked things that people numb with is food. And that's one of the biggest addictions that people have in this world. If you have a problem with food, the next five minutes might make a ton of... You might have a ton of understandings and light bulbs that pop up with you, okay? I'll give you an idea of my friend that I have, okay? He has a problem with his weight,

and he's about 40 pounds overweight. And he works and he works and he works and he works, works his ass off all day long, eats a little bit of food, snacks, all of that stuff, and then doesn't eat much throughout the day. But then when he's done with working, he eats a ton of food that he knows that he shouldn't, but he does it anyways. And it's a lot of cheeses. It's a lot of carbs. It's a lot of fats and it's complete overload. And I told this, we had this conversation. I told this to him and we went through exactly what I'm about to tell you. And he was like, oh shit, this makes so much sense. He's like, exactly what I'm about to tell you. And he was like, oh shit, this makes so much sense.

He's like, I can completely see how I've been doing this for the past few years. A lot of people do this. They work, work, work. They eat a bunch of food. They eat food they know they probably shouldn't eat. But there's a reason why. Why does he do this? Because most of the days in sympathetic, which is he's so busy because he doesn't want to pay attention to some of his life circumstances that I'm not going to get into, but there's some life circumstances that he does not want to be in anymore. And so he is running, running, running, running, running, work, work, work, work, work, work, work all day. He's running, not numbing, but he's running so that he's so busy he doesn't have to pay attention to his life circumstances he doesn't want to pay attention to. And then when he stops working, aka stops running, he doesn't have anything to run from. And so what he does

is he eats a ton of food. So this body has to shut down a lot of what it does to digest. So it's run, run, run, run, run, num, num, num, num, num, num, num. Because digestion is the number one most energy consuming thing that our body does. And so when he eats a bunch of food, which makes him feel comfort, digestion sends his body into parasympathetic, much more calm, much more peaceful. Therefore, food is his comfort. Is this making sense to you? Hopefully, this is at home with a lot of you guys that are out there. The reason why food tends to be comfort,

because comfort, the food itself, when you eat a lot of food, or you eat food that isn't necessarily the best for you, your body has to digest a lot. And when it digests a lot, it requires a lot of energy, which means it's going to shut off a lot of things, like your brain's thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking. And so therefore, it is a lot of energy, which means it's going to shut off a lot of things, like your brain's thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking. And so therefore, it is a form of numbing. And so your body naturally sends itself from sympathetic to parasympathetic, which then makes someone feel...

It's the same reason why a drug addict goes to drugs. It's because they go from, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, to majority of drugs take you from sympathetic to parasympathetic. Now, there's other ones like cocaine and crack and all that stuff. They might take you a little bit different, but majority of drugs take you from a very heightened state to a very calm or much more of a calm state. So therefore, food, when it feels comfortable, it is causing comfort. What it's actually doing is taking you from sympathetic to parasympathetic. Hey, if you're the type of person who's always thinking about new business ideas or wondering what's the next side hustle that I should spin up, check out the podcast, My First Million. The hosts Sean Puri and Sam Parr have each built eight-figure businesses and sold

them to Amazon and to HubSpot. And each week, they brainstorm business ideas that you can start tomorrow. And these can be side hustles that make a few grand a month or big billion-dollar ideas or anything in between. Two of the podcast episodes that I really like was episode 158, where Sam and Sean explain how to make millions by buying Michael Jordan's home and turning it into a museum. And since a lot of you guys are business owners and have side hustles, I think you're definitely going to like this one. Another one that I like as well is their interview with Rob Dyrdek, which was episode 225. Super fascinating. The guy built a $400 million media empire and has been tracking every second of his day for the past decade. It's crazy. So make sure to check out My First Million. That's My First Million on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. It's My First Million on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,

or wherever you listen to podcasts. It's the same reason why a lot of people will drink a glass of wine just to take the edge off. And they're like, I don't have an alcohol problem. And they might not have an alcohol problem, but they take the edge off. They come home and they have one glass of wine. Maybe they have two glass of wine. They don't kill an entire bottle or two bottles,

but they do it to take the edge off. If you've ever thought that to yourself, have you ever asked yourself, why is there an edge in the first place? What is the edge? Because most people would rather drink a glass of wine or two versus try to figure out why there's an edge and what the edge is. What might it be that that person is running from? Again, a glass of wine will take you from sympathetic to parasympathetic. There's many times where I know I've been like super busy all day long and I don't drink at all during the week. I only drink in the weekends, maybe one day a week. I'll have like a glass of wine and that's about it. But I can notice if it's like Friday and I've had like a busy, busy, busy, busy, busy Friday, I'm like, go, go, go, go, go, go.

I'll have a glass of wine. I'll be like, oh, just a glass of wine makes me more chill. It's easier to drink a glass of wine and to make a drink or come home and make a whiskey or whatever it is than it is to actually develop tools like breathing, which take time. Develop tools like meditation that take time. Develop tools like meditation that take time. Develop tools like journaling that take time. And actually using those tools like breathing and meditation and journaling to actually become in charge of your body. So food can do it. Alcohol can do it. Drugs definitely can do it. And it's easy to see because most drugs out there take you from sympathetic to parasympathetic, from fight or flight to calm. Sex, this is the same thing. There's a lot of people that are sex addicts as

well. Sex is something that makes you so present that you forget about everything else. And so it takes you into a different state than that heightened state that you're always in. So it is a state change, but it makes you so present that a lot of people when they're in the middle of having sex, they're not thinking about their childhood traumas or things that they went through or the anger that they have towards their parents or whatever it is that they're still trying to run from. And this happens over and over and over again. It is a form of numbing from some of the addictions that people have to take them from sympathetic to parasympathetic. And this also works with like working out or workaholics. Those are a form of running, which running from something can be,

I guess you could call it numbing. But if we put them into two different categories, numbing or running, working out and keeping busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, or working, working, working, working, working, is so that somebody is running from whatever is in their subconscious that is making their brain and body go into sympathetic. It's also the reason why it's so hard for people to be bored. And so let's talk about boredom for a second. If you really think about it, what is the actual problem with boredom? You're literally doing nothing.

That's it. Why is there something wrong with doing nothing you know there's a really great quote and it's one of my favorite quotes and it's it literally sums up i guess everybody in this world and it says man's biggest problems all of man's biggest problems come from his inability to sit in a room quietly with himself right boredom all it is, is just the absence of something to do. So why do some people go so crazy when there's nothing to do? Because when there's nothing to do, there's no way to run. If there's no alcohol, there's no way to run. If there's no food, there's no way to run. If there's no video games to play, there's no way to run. If there's no working out to do, all of these things are fine in moderation. So I don't want you to think that

all of these things are bad. But I want you to realize, is it something that's constructive or destructive for you in your growth? And some people go crazy when there's nothing to do. Why is that? Because a lot of things come up when someone is bored. When there is the absence of something to do and there's the absence of something to take, a lot of feelings and emotions come up for people. Some people, when they get bored, really, they start to notice a lot of restlessness come up inside of them. What is that restlessness? Where is it coming from? Why is it there? Have you ever sat down with a pen and paper and been like, why do I feel so restless? A lot of people, anger will come up. They'll start to get very angry whenever they

get bored. What is that anger? Why is it coming up right now? Some people get frustrated when they get bored. They get really frustrated with what's going on. Why is that frustration there? Why is that anger coming up? What comes up is not something that's just coming up out of nowhere. It's something that is actually always there bubbling under the surface, but we're either keeping ourselves so busy or numbing so much that we're not actually paying attention to what's bubbling under the surface. What's coming is going. What's coming is what your body needs to process so that it can get it out.

Why? Because most people are sitting there and they're either numbing or they're running, or they're numbing or they're running because they lack the tools to calm down their nervous system. They are addicted to constant stimuli. If you think about us waking up in the morning, from the second we wake up in the morning, it is very easy for us to be constantly stimulated all of the time. We go immediately to our phone and we have Facebook, we have Instagram, we have TikTok, and we have Twitter, and we have email, we have text messages, we have phone calls coming in, and then we have the news, and we have songs we can listen to,

and we go to work, and then we have all these people that want to talk to us and emails that need to be answered. And it's just stimuli, stimuli, stimuli, stimuli, stimuli. We are addicted a lot of times to this stimuli. So when all of it's gone, there's a little bit of anger, frustration, sadness, boredom. All of these things come up in boredom. What those things are, things that are actually bubbling under the surface that we need to, as adults, start to work through. Because if you've got anger that comes up on your board or frustration that comes up on your board, and you don't work through it and let it get out of your body, that anger and frustration is going to come up and you're going to have a much shorter fuse with your children. You have a much shorter fuse with your spouse because these things need to be worked through.

As an adult, one of the things that we're not taught when we're children, one of these are not taught as adults, but should be absolutely 100% something that we focus on is how to process our emotions through breathing, through meditation, and through journaling through to actually start to understand ourselves at a deeper level. If you really want to go through a level of growth, ask yourself, am I numbing in any sort of way? Am I running in any sort of way? And if you are, give yourself two hours, just try it and see what happens. Give yourself two hours sometime this weekend. And all you have to do is just go sit outside

and do nothing. You can't have coffee. You can't have your phone. You can't have a journal. And just see what comes up. And when it comes up, just ask yourself, why am I feeling this way? What is this? Where is this coming from? And just get really interested into yourself and interested into your emotions. And what happens is you start to actually understand your emotions a lot more. You're understanding where they came from. You're understanding who you are, why you are the way that you are, and all of the stuff of where it came from. And then after you give yourself two hours, journal through it. Why did I feel frustrated? Where's that frustration coming from? Where else am I frustrated in my life? And it makes it, here's the thing though,

it's not easy. And that's why most people get away from it. It is hard to do and to start to process these things. It is much easier to go on a run. It is much easier to work out, it's much easier to drink alcohol, it's much easier to eat food and put your body into a parasympathetic state, a calm state versus actually start to process food and put your body into a parasympathetic state, a calm state, versus actually start to process and work through your emotions. But I promise you this, if you can find out if you are numbing or if you are running and why you're numbing and why you're running and start to process that, what you'll notice is when you process those things and figure it out is a level of calm and peace that you've never experienced before because you start to work out all of the things that you've been carrying with you for years

and years and years and years. So I'm going to challenge you. Take out a pen and paper. Ask yourself if you're numbing. Ask yourself if you're running. And start to process those things so that you can get rid of them. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor. Right now, everybody take out your phone, take a screenshot of you listening to it, take a video of wherever you are listening to it and share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.

The only way that this podcast grows is from you guys sharing it. We don't have any big corporation that's putting us out there. So we are one of the top 100 podcasts in the entire world simply because you guys continue to share it. So if you would share it on your Instagram stories, once again, and tag me in at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. And with that, I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode,

make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.