The Mindset Mentor - Is it a F**k Yes or a F**k No?

Episode Date: August 26, 2021

In this episode, I am going to give you my #1 tool for making decisions in my life. If you live your life making decisions through this lens, you will end up living an amazing life! Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. And today is Thursday, which means that it is the special edition, it is a business edition of the Mindset Mentor, which also means that I'm joined by my best friend and business partner, Dean DeVries. Dean, what's going on, buddy? It is a very special Thursday and I'm excited to be here. Yeah. Today we're going to bring it back old school. We're actually going to talk about something that was, people loved. We talked about it over a year ago now, and it's going to help you make decisions and be very decisive in your life. We all know people who are not decisive

and we all know that sometimes, hey, if we're being honest, it's kind of hard to make decisions, but this will make it a lot, lot easier for you. And we know some people who heard this episode over a year ago when we talked about it before, and it changed the course of their life. So maybe for some of you guys out there, it might change the course of your life as well. And if you are offended by cuss words, this is definitely, well, this is probably not the, I'm probably not the right podcast for you period, but this is definitely not the right episode. So how many times have you guys all done something, everybody listening and you thought that it was right. And it, it seemed right in your head, but there was just a little bit of hesitancy. It was like

a gut feeling of maybe this isn't a hundred percent, right. Or maybe on paper. Yeah. It looks right. It seems right. You know, the brain says this is the right thing, but there's a part of you, it's like, no, this isn't right. I don't know why it doesn't feel 100% right. And then it comes back to bite you in the butt. Anybody? You ever feel that way? Oh yeah, this isn't a good person. Maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship with them. Maybe you shouldn't trust them, whatever it is. And for some reason, it just doesn't vibe. Well, here it is. This is the secret to making sure that you make the right decisions in your life.

Here's the question. Is it a fuck yes or is it a fuck no? Yeah. And it just makes it so simple and so easy because when you just express the words, hey, is this a fuck yes? Like just think back to the times where he said, you know what? Fuck yes. It wasn't just a normal yes. Right. There was like a, I'm a 100% in on this. Fuck yes. And if it's not, then it's automatically a fuck now. And that, that speaks to the decisive

nature of probably the most successful people in the world. Being decisive is kind of a prerequisite of living the life that you want and making the impact that you want, having the business that you want, having the relationships that you want. And if you're not living a fuck yes life, you're not living to your fullest potential. So I love that litmus test of if it's not a fuck yes, it automatically has to be a fuck no. There's no room for anything but a fuck yes.

Yeah, it cuts out all the BS. And this goes back to what we think is right versus what we feel is right. So some of you guys might be out there and be like, well, does that mean intuition? Because I don't really know what my intuition is. I've heard about it. It's a gut feeling. I don't know. I feel like I should get better at that.

We hear that all of the time where people are like, I don't know what my gut feeling is. I don't, it's hard for me to follow it. How do I listen to it? How do I find my intuition? You know, in Western society, we're taught how to think we're, we're a bunch of thinkers and we're really good at thinking, but it's hard for a lot of people to feel into something. And when you say, is this a full fuck? Yes. Is it like a hundred percent? My body is into this decision. Then, you know, is this a full fuck yes? Is it like 100% my body is into this decision? Then you know you're making the right decision. If it's 99% yes, then it's a fuck no. And if you guys are business owners,

think back to some of the business decisions that you made in the past. Maybe it was a new project that your company brought on and maybe it was a new hire taking on a new client, but just, it seemed right on paper, but you had to convince yourself as to why you should or shouldn't move forward. Yeah. Yeah. I was just going to mention if it was anything but a fuck yes, my guess. And you know, I can almost guarantee that it ended up not being

the best decision, the most aligned decision, the decision that actually gave you energy, which I think is the quality of the fuck yes. Because when you are, when you go about something and you say, this is a fuck yes, this is a decision. That's not just a regular yes. Right. Or not just like a, Oh yeah. I mean, I guess, you know, because maybe they want me to do this. Maybe, yeah, I'll just go ahead and agree to it. Um, but you know, that, that can be very draining for many reasons that probably isn't for this podcast, but you know, there's whenever we approach a situation and decide, fuck yes, that in itself, it's a somatic experience. We can feel it in our body. And that,

that feeling is actually us getting energy. And that actually is our intuition telling us like, Hey, here's where the most energy is. Here's where your most potential is. Follow it. Yep. Yeah. And, and here's the thing. So let's go through a few different aspects of your life and just see if there's anything that kind of hits home with you. So if we go, let's start off with relationships, right? How many times have you been in a relationship where you weren't a hundred percent in, or you weren't a hundred percent into that person? They seemed right. Or you're like, yeah, this person, they look really good. They've got a great body. You know, everything seems right, but there's just a part of you that's like, I don't, I don't really know, but you're like, I'm going to go for it anyways. And then you drug it on for

longer than it needed to. And maybe it ended way worse than it could have. And when you could have broken it off sooner because it wasn't a fuck yes for you. And, you know, I'm going to be honest with you and I want everyone to think this, how many of you are out there right now and you're in a relationship that isn't a full fuck yes relationship. Yeah. And on the flip side of that, there's also like, I know people that are looking for that perfect partner that has this criteria and has this type of look and are this tall and, or this short, right. And there's all these things on paper, but when they meet somebody that's like, Hmm, this actually feels good.

But their mind talks them out of, you know, the, what, what their, where their intuition is actually guiding them to it all. That's also a decision that could be like, that's, that's a life-changing decision because it's altering the path that probably could have been a really exciting path for you. Yep. So when you're in a relationship, make sure it's a full fuck. Yes. And not a fuck. No. Uh, another thing you can talk about that just pops up into my head is college. You know, when you went to college, did you go because you wanted to go because it was a full fuck?

Yes. Or did you go because your parents told you to go or, you know, did you take the, you know, you wanted to be a specific major, but you went a different major because of the fact that your parents told you to go that major because you knew that major made more money and now you get a job and your job sucks and you're not a full fuck. Yes. And your job, you know, how many people have a job out there? That's not a full fuck. Yes. And think about this. Are you going to, would you, if you were to go back to your 16 year old self, 15 year old self, 13 year old, 14 year old self and say, Hey, if you were to get a job while you're older,

would you want a dream job? Or would you just want like a, a job that pays you pretty decent? Right. What are you going to say? You're gonna be like, Oh my God, I want my dream job. I want an amazing job. I want to do this, this, this, this, this. Where, where did you lose it along the way? And you know, if you don't love your job, if you're not a full fuck yes on your job, guys, you're a fuck no on your job. Can you find a way to make money that you are a full fuck yes on your job, guys, you're a fuck no on your job. Can you find a way to make money that you are a full fuck yes on? Yeah. And between the college thing and the job thing, I think a lot of people do get, get trapped. And in some ways I experienced this too, like having, having to deal with the, the idea of who, who other people thought I should be, right? Whether it's society, friends, family, and many

people end up in their, you know, late twenties, thirties, forties, sometimes their entire life in a job that wasn't truly aligned, but they just kind of found themselves in it because that's the path that they were told they should take versus really following their fuck yes intuition. Yeah. A hundred percent. And you know, you kind of just went through that with real estate. You left real estate a year ago and you're making tons of money doing it. Yeah. Yeah, and for me, it was uncomfortable to leave that

because I also got so into it. And at the beginning, I was like, hey, what's something that I can do that is going to be able to make a great, make a great income, be able to have some of these qualities. I love sales. I love people. So how can I like work with people? And yeah, I, at that time it was like, all right, let me just do this out of almost desperation. It checked most of the boxes. It checked all the boxes. Yeah. Most of the boxes and on paper, it just seemed like the perfect fit. It's like, man, you know, this, this on paper looks perfect,

but if I'm really being honest, it wasn't like the full fuck. Yes. You know, it was probably like a 95% fuck. Yes. And going deeper and deeper into that experience, making more and more money and more and more influence and, and building a really successful business, you know, and that's when, you know, you and I really partnered up and started doing coaching, which really like, it's, it showed me the contrast of like, okay, that was a 95%. Yes. But this is a full fuck. Yes. Right. And it just showed me so much about what a fuck yes really means and what it feels like. And at that time, that was probably the closest thing that I had to a fuck yes.

But I also think that there's, there's a part of it that, Hey, when you're on this journey of experiencing different things and you come across something that is a fuck yes, that is different than what you're doing right now. And you might have to go through a similar situation where you have to deal with some discomfort,

make some really tough decisions, following your heart, following that fuck yes intuition, it always works out. Hey, hiring people off resumes alone is like doing deadlifts without warming up. Sooner or later, you're going to get hurt. And Indeed does all of the heavy lifting with over 135 assessments to unlock big gains for your company. So when hiring gets hard, you need Indeed, the job site that makes hiring incredibly simple. Just attract, interview, and hire. In fact, with Indeed, you can do all of the hiring in just one place, even the interviewing. So don't hope that your perfect candidate will just walk through the door and find you. Indeed's hiring tools will help you cut through the noise to hire faster and smarter.

And in fact, Indeed Instant Match provides a quality list of candidates whose resumes are on Indeed the moment that your job is posted. With Indeed assessments, choose from 135 skills tests to help make sure that you're finding applications from people with the skills that you need. And according to Talent Nest, Indeed delivers four times more hires than all the other job sites combined. So join more than 3 million businesses worldwide to use Indeed to hire great talent fast. So get started right now with a $75 sponsored job credit to upgrade your post at Indeed.com slash dial. That's a $75 credit at Indeed.com slash dial. Indeed.com slash dial. Offer is valid through September 30th. Terms and conditions do apply. Hey, so many Americans experienced financial hardship last year, and Upstart can help you regain your footing by getting things back on track. Upstart is a fast

and easy way to pay off your debt with a personal loan all online. So whether you're paying off credit cards, consolidating high interest debt, or funding personal expenses, over half a million people have used Upstart to get one fixed monthly payment. And Upstart knows you're more than just a credit score, so it's expanding access to affordable credit. And unlike other lenders, Upstart considers your income and current employment to find you a smarter rate for your loan. So with a five-minute online rate check, you can get your rate upfront for loans between $1,000 and $50,000. And you can receive the funds in as little as one business day after accepting your loan. So find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today. Go to upstart.com slash dial.

That's upstart.com slash dial. Don't forget to use the URL to make sure that they know that we sent you. Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit, income, and certain other information provided from your loan application. So go to upstart.com slash dial. If you're talking about your job, you spend the majority of your waking hours at your job. Wouldn't you want the majority of your hours that you're awake in this life to be a full fuck yes?

Like you would just want that. And that goes into also another thing that's important that a lot of people don't really think about is your environment, you know, and your environment can be your house. It could be the people that are around you. It could be your physical environment. It could be the conversations that you have, you know, and it's, you know, a good example is like one of the times you told me that you are not going to participate in conversations that didn't have full transformation energy.

Yeah. Yeah. That was about three years ago. I made the, it was actually my new year's resolution. I said, I am not going to be a part of any conversation that doesn't have the energy of transformation. In other words, every conversation that I have has to have the essence of transformation in it, which by the way, led me to my, you know, ultimate fuck yes path. But that was a fuck yes decision that I had to make and a standard that I had to hold, which is the environment because the environment when we're in the right environment, we're tapping into more of our potential. And that was the environment

that I wanted to create, not just in my physical environment, not just in the, the friends that I was talking to or the relationships that I had, but it was also what I was filling my mind with, what I was thinking about the conversations that I was having with myself. And that also is part of the environment. The environment creates and, and, and contributes and influences your experience. And so, yeah, I think environment is a, is a huge one, not just an external environment, but very much the, the internal environment. Yeah. For those of you guys that are business owners out there, think about this for a second.

Clients, are you a full fuck yes on your clients? Because here's the thing that, and we tell this to people that we coach is if you're not a full fuck yes on the person that you're going to be coaching, then they should be a fuck no, right? Like you don't have to not enjoy the company of somebody just because they're paying you money, right? Every moment of your life, you have the decision of, you know, if you're a business owner, do I want to work with this person? Am I, am I adding value to their life? Are they adding value to my life? And do I love serving

them every single day? If no, then it's a, it's a fuck. No, it automatically is. Are they a pain in your ass? They call you too much. Do they treat you like crap? Are they needing too much of you? Cause if they do, then you just gotta be okay with saying no. And here's the thing. When you can take, take ownership of your business and realize that I can fire clients that I don't enjoy working with. There's so much freedom in your business that comes with that. Yeah. And the seduction that people get trapped into by not trusting in their fuck yes intuition to guide them on who to bring on clients is the seduction of what the checklist says of what it looks like on paper, right? It's like, Oh, but if I get this

client, this is going to add so much more revenue to my business. Or this is how much, you know, how, how much closer to my yearly income goals I'm going to get to. And when we sacrifice our intuition and what actually feels right, what truly is a fuck yes, we find ourselves in a situation where you have to fire a client where it ends up not being worth it anyway. And so, yeah, I think, you know, that's another beautiful example of how, you know, going with the fuck yes, from the beginning saves a lot of time, a lot of energy, a lot of suffering, uh, just by really just following your, your intuition. Yeah. We all have clients that we've dealt with in the past that they pay us a certain amount, but then they, they have to be in touch with us all the time.

They're a struggle and they take up twice the amount of time that they really could. And I'm still getting paid the same for doing twice as much. When in reality I could get two full fuck yes clients and make twice as much putting in the same amount of effort as putting in this one that could be a, you know, a little bit of a pain in the ass for me. So you've got to be able to fire your clients. Another thing we're going to talk about firing. Another thing we're gonna talk about firing. It's, we're gonna have to go into it for those of you guys that are business owners,

your employees, you know, do you have a, uh, employees that are in your business that are all full fuck yeses? I had this conversation the other day, literally it was, uh, yesterday and somebody was like, yeah, my director of operations, they're just not, I don't think it's going to work. And you know, you got to hire slow fire fast. That's really the, the, the thing that you have to think about. And if you want to make it really easy on yourself, could you see yourself, would you be excited about spending the next 10 years of your business life with this person? If not, that's a fuck no. Yeah, totally. Not only employees, but also like other business relationships. So we've got clients, we've got employees, we've got business partners, we've got, you

know, vendors. If you're in a type of business where you work with vendors, like these are, these are all relationships that, you know, can be applied to business and personal. Like, is this relationship truly a fuck yes and also like the projects to that that you take on if you're part of a company or if you have a company where you're working on some some projects and maybe it's not relationship oriented like people oriented but are you taking the projects that you're truly excited about are you taking the projects just

because it's you know more money in the projects just because it's, you know, more money in the bank or because it's, you know, it's again, just adding more to the, you know, to the spreadsheet or does it, is it a true expression of what you're passionate about, what you're just fired up to do? Because the, the whole premise of making fuck yes decisions is about having more energy to bring to that decision. Because when we have more energy, we show up with more of our potential. And when we show up with more of our potential, more things are possible. Yeah. If you look at a project, like, is this a project? If I'm just thinking in my mind, like if I'm an architect and I'm looking at a project, I'm like, okay,

I'm just going to build, you know, a building. It's just a government building. I'm like, ah, it's just a box. Right. That doesn't really make me excited. But if I'm like, oh, I'm building a, an amazing outdoor school for the children and they have all of these, these places they can play. And that makes me excited. Like does the project, like, can you pour your full heart into something and work your ass off for it? You know, if you can do that, then it's a full fuck. Yes. And talk about like working your ass off. Think about like goals and commitments that you have as well. Like are your goals just, are you just setting goals and making them easy for yourself? Or are, you know, when you look at your goals, do you get fired up? Do you get excited? Like, is it a full

fuck? Yes. Or is it a, uh, you're like, these are exciting. I could probably, yeah, I want to hit these. You know, there's a lot of people that set new year's resolutions and then they forget what their new year's resolutions are probably because they weren't full fuck yeses. You weren't that fired up about it. You want to look at your goals and be like, hell yeah, that's the life I want to create. Yeah. And also on the other end of the spectrum, are you setting goals that are other people's goals or what you think other people will respect you for to have that as a goal, but it's not something you either truly believe in, or it's not something that serves the greater vision of what you want to get accomplished.

Yeah, do you want a Lamborghini because you love Lamborghinis because you want to be viewed by people as somebody who can afford a Lamborghini? The answer is yes. Yes. The fuck yes is the answer, right? So I love that because like, are your goals your goals,

or are they goals you just think other people would respect you for? Oh yeah, you want a bigger house or a nicer car and stuff. I always say most 99% of people that have Ferraris don't have Ferraris for themselves, them for someone else. And it's like, when you look at it, it's like, yeah, they're fun for a little while. And then you're like, ah, whatever. So it's like, there's nothing wrong with it. I think Ferraris and their beginnings are amazing, but you know, are these things that you actually, you want your goals and commitments? Are they exactly what you want? or is it what other people want for you? Yeah. Yeah. And this,

this all goes back to, but whether it's the relationships in your business, whether it's the projects that you take, the clients that you serve, the environments that you're a part of, the goals that you set, the income goals that you set, if it's a true fuck, yes, that can only come from you, right? It could be a yes. And it could be coming from the influence of somebody else or, you know, Hey, I want to make my, you know, I want to make my parents proud, you know, for me, for those of you that know my story, I've talked about it a few times, but for so many years I achieved and set these goals because I thought I was going to receive more love from my dad. And, um, and so when I started really just taking ownership of, Hey, what do I want? What, what is the fuck? Yes. For me. And when we use the word fuck, yes,

it has to be for you because only you can decide if it's a fuck yes or a fuck now. Right. And, or it's really, you have to decide if it's a fuck yes. And if no, right? And, or it's really, you have to decide if it's a fuck yes. And if it's not a fuck yes, you know that it's automatically a fuck no. Cause it's not you. If it's, if it's not anything but a fuck yes, it's probably not yours. It's probably not truly aligned with you. So I think this is just such a powerful practice and litmus test to really just making decisions on an everyday business, uh, everyday, everyday situation, everyday, you know, in, in, uh, just how you approach your business, how you approach people, how you approach relationships, how you approach yourself. So, um, so yeah, this is,

this is just, uh, yeah, this is a really powerful practice. Yeah. And you know, like you said, it should give you energy. Like you should be doing stuff that gives you energy, like your stuff that you love that's in your zone of genius. It makes your decisions so much easier. It makes your business so much more simple. You know, you'd have to spend much time worrying and second guessing, you know, we should all be running. If you're a business owner, you should all be running full fuck yes businesses. You deserve it. So the next time you get caught in a tough decision, it's very simple. Just ask yourself this question. Is this a fuck yes or is this a fuck no? And just ask yourself that and go with whatever the answer it is and don't second guess it. And the way to use this right now,

if there's not a decision that you have to make right this moment, the way you can be proactive about this is what would your life look like if you had a fuck yes life, if you had a fuck yes business, a fuck yes relationship, a fuck yes, uh, health, a fuck yes, emotional state and start there. Because once you get clear on that vision, then you can start making decisions from that vision. Hey, does this align with my fuck yes life? Hey, is your career a fuck yes? What would that be like if your relationship was a fuck yes? Like what would, what would have to happen for that relationship to be a fuck yes? Your job, your friendships, if your house, your car, your mindset, if everything was a full fuck yes, absolutely no doubts. It was just a full fuck yes. What would that be like?

What would that feel like? And the next step is what are the decisions that you have to make in order to get closer to that? Yep. Yeah. And here's the thing, guys. It's very simple. Is it a fuck yes or is it a fuck no? You deserve to have a fuck yes business, fuck yes income, fuck yes relationships, fuck yes life. Everything should around you be a

full fuck yes. I don't know about you. I want to live a life that's a full fuck yes. And we ask this all the time to our team. Is it a fuck yes? Was that person a fuck yes? I don't know. All right. Well, they're already medical. Fuck no. They're not the right person. Like it's very simple to do. We live our lives this way. We try to literally when we put anything together, if we're about to make something new for our business, we're like, is this a full fuck? Yes. Uh, and if there's any, like, uh, it's already done, it's already over. It's over. It's already a no, but if we're like, yeah, and we've all literally planned something out and both go, yeah, that's a fuck. Yes. That's literally what we do. So it just makes life so much easier. Like I want to live a full fuck yes life

in every single thing that I do. So if you guys want to as well, number one, you deserve it. Number two, just start using this more often and start pulling out the things that aren't full fuck yes. I'm sure there's some people out there, majority of people out there listening right now that there's pieces where you're like,

oh yeah, that relationship isn't the best. That friendship isn't the best. That client isn't the best. This career that I'm going down, this path isn't the best. Oh, I'm in college. This isn't the manager that I want. Hopefully this will help you make your decisions and make decisions that are truly aligned with who you want to be. So that's what we got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at Rob Dial Jr. And if you want to receive an

email from me every single Monday morning with my intentions going into every single week, so you can steal my intentions and put them into your Monday in your week as well. It's absolutely free. Just go to mondayemail.com, sign up right there, and I'll send you an email every single Monday. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.