The Mindset Mentor - Killing the Little Voice in Your Head

Episode Date: June 22, 2019

Episode 608 - Dean is my best friend in the world. We have known each other for 13 years and talk almost every day. In this episode we dive deep into a lot of topics from being a fat kid, to lack of self worth, to becoming a father. We cover a lot of ground and go really deep in some areas. I know you will love this episode as well as learn a lof from it!  Ready to change your life? Join the Iron Mind 60 Challenge now! www.IronMind60.com Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to the Mindset and Motivation Podcast, one of the top motivational podcasts in the world. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, we come out with a short, to the point, no BS episode to help make massive changes in your mind and transform you from who you are now to who you want to be. My name is Rob Dial and the podcast starts now. Welcome to today's episode. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. And last but not least, if you're interested in changing your

bad habits, in changing your life, in turning your life into the life that you want it to be, join my Iron Mind 60 challenge. There's less than two days to join. By the time that you're listening to this, there's less than two days to join most likely. It starts June 24th and the very last moment that you can join in on this challenge is June 24th at 1159 PM Pacific Standard Time. If you try to join one minute after that, the doors will be closed and no one will be able to join after that moment. I will not accept emails that are going to say, hey, I'm sorry I messed up. I didn't realize that the time was coming. The minute it closed, the doors closed, there's absolutely nobody else that could join. So if you're out there and you're listening to this and you're interested in joining, if

you're interested in changing your bad habits and changing yourself into the better person you could be in to unleashing your potential that you know that you have within yourself, because you know that if you change yourself right now in this present moment, that your life will change. Your future will be different. So if you're out there and you're interested in joining the Iron Mind 60 Challenge, go to ironmind60.com. I-R-O-N-M-I-N-D 60.com. There's over 450 people in this group. So if you're on the fence, just pull the trigger. That's all I have to say. Your life can change in a moment. You just have to make the decision to make that change. Do not let the fear that you feel inside of you

hold you back from doing this. I would love to see you be a part of it. Go to ironmind60.com and join us. So today I have a special episode. This is a spur of the moment interview with my best friend, Dean. Dean and I have known each other since 2006. And I'll talk more about him in the actual episode when we dive into it. But I've noticed since 2006, we have gone through everything in life that you could possibly go through together. We talk to each other every single day. And I thought to myself, what if I start doing once a week or maybe once every two weeks, Dean and I just have a conversation, a deep philosophical conversation around spirituality or life or plant medicine or management, leadership, any of those things, and just let you guys peek behind the curtains and see what we talk about. Two successful men that have

been with each other and known each other for 13 years. And just kind of lets you guys see what we talk about, what a supportive friendship looks like. So if you'd like this, send me an email, let me know. We'd like to do more of these. I love this episode. I thought it was fun. You get to know more about Dean, meet him, and also see the challenges

and how he's meeting the challenges of being a new father. He was a father five days ago, became a father. So I can't wait to have more episodes with him. It was fun to sit for an hour and talk with him. Please listen to this whole episode. I know that there's a ton of stuff that you're going to listen or that you're going to learn from this. So listen to this whole episode. It's longer than normal, but I promise you, we go deep on some stuff and it's like surface level deep. We can go way, way, way deeper. We just thought, you know what, let's do an introductory episode and just have a conversation. So without further ado, this is my best friend, Dean DeVries. Oh, and also if you hear some little audio

problems, I am recording this from Mexico. So I drop out a couple of times, but please, you know, just stick with us. It'll be okay. There's not that many audio problems. So here we go. Today, I have a special guest with me and wanted to introduce you to my best friend, Dean. If you've listened to really old episodes, you would know a little bit about Dean. You've heard some of his stories and stuff.

I believe you've had him on in the past, but I've been considering with this podcast, continuing to do exactly what we have been doing, but maybe even making, expanding it a little bit more. And maybe once a week, once every two weeks, we have Dean on and turn this into a conversation between two people. Dean, the good thing about him to give you guys an idea, I've known Dean for 13 years now. We literally talk almost every single day, pretty much every single day. If it's not on the phone through a conversation, it's always through text message at least. And we've gone through a journey together. And this journey that we've gone on together has been crazy. We started off as college students in 2016. We went and we were in Cutco together. We sold millions of dollars worth of knives. We made a lot of money. We lost a lot of money. We worked 100 hours a week.

We both quit at the same time. We went two separate paths, but, you know, continue to go on this journey together. Lately, it's been a very deep spiritual journey that's, you know, we're not going to talk about in this episode. We're not going to talk about plant medicine, but we will be talking about plant medicine and psychedelics at some point in time. But I wanted to introduce you guys to Dean, let you guys know who he is, get to know who he is, and just open a dialogue so you can see the type of conversations that we have. Really,

what I wanted to do is kind of bring you into our conversations that we have with each other. Here are two people who are on a deep spiritual journey, very long personal growth journey that we've been on as well. And both guys, you know, both journey that we've been on as well. And both guys, you know, both of us run really successful business as well. And I wanted to bring you in to hear how we communicate, how we talk with each other and the different experiences that we're going through this. So therefore you can hear kind of like a fly on the wall, the way that we talk with each other, the way we talk to each other, the way that we motivate each other and all aspects of our life. So I'm excited to bring on Dean. Dean, I know we've been talking

for the past hour or so, but to everybody who's out there, welcome to the show. Well, thanks for having me, man. And yeah, we always have to warm up our conversations with like an hour long ceremony. And I think we're ready now. Yeah, we've been talking already for a while, talking about what the journey we want to go on with this episode and stuff is. But dude, I must say that having you recap like our story and how connected we are is just, you know, like brothers.

And like we've kind of taken our own path, but like the spiritual journey has always been pretty consistent then and you and I have challenged each other over the years to continue to grow as people and I just really love you and appreciate you man thanks man I appreciate you as well Dean and I have have gone through ebbs and flows of life but what's crazy about is it seems like we both have at the same. We both flow at the same time. And, you know, the peaks and valleys end up being exactly the same, which is, which is crazy. But lately, you know, the past few years, it's been,

it's been a lot of, you know, really, really high mountaintops and very few low points, which is what's been awesome. So to kind of give people an idea of who you are, you know, if you were to say, this is Dean DeVries in 90 seconds, give us an idea of where you came from, a little bit about you, what you do now. And, you know, even, even, even the super exciting thing that you just celebrated as well. Oh yeah. I'm definitely going to talk about that. That'll be the latter 89 seconds. But, but yeah, I let let's see. I, I've always been, I've gone through an amazing journey. Grew up in Port St. Lucie, Florida, small town. I was an achiever. I, you know, after reflecting for many years on my childhood, I realized that I really craved my father's love.

And the way that I received his love was through achievement. And so that's when the Achiever was born. So, you know, I got straight A's all through school, got scholarships, you know, went to college, graduated business school. And I, you know, the way that you and I met Rob was through Cutco. And that was pretty much like the beginning that you and I met Rob was through Cutco. And that was pretty much like the beginning of my personal growth journey, which ended up turning into like a personal growth slash spiritual journey. And yeah, and so just being in Cutco and growing up really

quickly, learning how to impact people and influence people and also influence myself and just continue to get better and better as a person with more integrity of, you know, that's, that's aligned with who I really am. Um, on that journey, I just, uh, gosh, just so much to be thankful for. And so many people that, you know, have impacted me along the way. So I'm just kind of always looking to get better and better. And what life looks like nowadays is I have a son. I run a real estate company here in Port St. Lucie, Florida, where I grew up and got a lot of love in my life. And I'm just so thankful for that. Yeah. So Dean, you just had a son that, uh, how many days ago now? Uh, it feels like one really long day, but it's been like five days, five, five real human days,

right? Yeah. Ever since father's day, which my son was born on father's day. No, it was just pretty exciting. Uh, so, and also my girlfriend's birthday, which is, which is pretty interesting as well. But, um, but give, give people an idea. So as a realtor, you know, realtors really struggle. But give them an idea for people who are out there who might know about real estate, how your first year went and, you know, how many houses you sold, all of that stuff. And then how many houses you're on track to sell in this year, everything. So when I first started real estate, I went into that business because I loved the flexibility of who I can work with. And I just really love surrounding myself with great people. And so if I found in real estate that if I just work with

the people that I want to, then I can serve them at that capacity and help them buy, sell and invest in real estate, which I think is a great thing to build a family's wealth around. So it's, it's something that I'm just passionate about with helping families. But I really think that the, the real work that we do is impacting them much, much deeper than that and connecting with, connecting with them at a deeper level, helping them just realize their truest potential and setting goals for their families. Like we'll have some young families that, you know, are in situations where they don't know what to do. And, you know, we can give them a path that in 2030 years can completely change the trajectory of, you know, what,

what life looks like for them. So that part is really exciting, but also help, you know, connecting them with other people in the community and just being like, dude, I, one of the things that I learned from you and used to say this all the time is when you're blessed, be a blessing. And that I think is like the real work that we end up doing. We just happen to have a wonderful platform of these people that want us to help them buy, sell and invest in real estate because of the trust that we've developed with them. But to go back to your... I haven't said that in a long time. I'm glad you brought that back into my awareness. Yeah. Yeah. And I know

I totally dodged the question, but I just kind of wanted to set the framework for, you know, what, what I believe is most important as a real estate agent is to have that, um, that deeper drive and that deeper desire and that deeper meaning. And I was actually having a conversation with a, an agent not too long ago, I think like two weeks ago. And what they told me was, well, you know, I know I'm passionate, but I don't know what my passion is. And I don't know if real estate is my passion. And so I just like, I just said, well, you know, it doesn't have to be your passion, but if it can help you, you know, build into what you're passionate about and impacting people the way that you want to, this could be the platform in which you do it. Most jobs aren't necessarily or most, you know, services that you provide to people aren't necessarily going to be the, you know, the thing that aligns most with your purpose.

Like you were just born to do that. the thing that aligns most with your purpose. Like you were just born to do that. It just, it's the platform in which you use to connect with people so that you can share what you were born with and your greatest gift that, you know, you've always had. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's, that's important. And, you know, I feel like I've been really lucky. Oh, even before we dive into that, I actually got, we'll go back to the question in a second, but I think that's important because there's a lot of people that listen out there. And I think I've been fortunate enough where my passion, the thing I'm most obsessed with in this world is also the way I make my money. And, uh, I think a lot of people are really searching for that, not realizing that the way they make their money can also become something, you know,

intertwined with what they are passionate about. And, you know, I'm in Mexico and I'm at a conference and we were talking about that today. Like, what is your spiritual vision? And spiritual vision, when I say that, you know, Dean and I are going to talk about spirituality and all this stuff, I'm not saying we're going to talk a lot about religion. I'm going to talk about spirituality is basically who you are, your core beliefs, your happiness, the joy, the way that you feel throughout the entire day. leaves, your happiness, the joy, the way that you feel throughout the entire day. And a lot of people who are in the meeting, I know that their spiritual vision, they have very successful companies. I'm talking this mastermind costs $25,000 to be a part of. So they have successful companies. But a lot of times what they're doing is they've built a business. They wanted to get

into running their own business because of the fact that they wanted to create freedom in their life, right? So they're like, I'm going to be an entrepreneur and start my own business so I can create freedom in my life. And then they create a business. It becomes semi-successful or very successful, depends on the person. And they put a lot of time into their business. And what happens is their self-worth comes from the business. So they literally identify themselves as the business. So their achievement, like you were saying with your dad, their achievement gives them more self-worth. It makes them feel better about it. And they become addicted to it in a lot of ways. Or they need to make money so bad, they become addicted to it. And then what happens is, this happens, you know, it can be going on for six months, it

can be going on for a year. Some people are in their business for the past 10 years and they're so wrapped up in it that now they're thinking about leaving their business because they want freedom. But then they forget that the reason why they got into running their own business was to create freedom. And the reason that they're struggling is not the freedom the reason why they're struggling is because their spiritual vision which they probably don't even know what their spiritual vision is is not in line with

what their actual business is so for you you're the perfect example of a realtor doesn't seem like it matches up with your spiritual vision, but you were able to find a way to have it line up with your spiritual vision, which probably gives you purpose. It gives you passion to what you're doing. And it probably makes you work harder because you're not doing it for the result of money, which is, you know, you completely doubt your question, but the reason why it's because you wanted to talk about the more important thing, which was not the money. It's the purpose behind it. And you probably make more money because you're purpose-driven instead of money-driven, right? Yeah, I definitely agree

with that. And as you were talking, one of the things that came up for me was how much my motivation has changed over the years. And, you know, you and I have definitely been on the same journey where, you know, we always loved achieving. And, you know, the earlier part of our lives, and as we were growing into the men that we are today, we were motivated by sometimes fears of, you know, losing or fears of, you know, not having abundance. Actually, abundance wasn't even really a thought, at least for me. I was just more like, I need to make my dad proud. That's actually what it really boiled down to. And then in the Cutco culture, recognition was, that was one of the biggest ego boosts ever because I just felt on top of the

world when I'd achieve and get recognized in a big way. And so I was running away from, um, from the thing that really is my biggest superpower today, um, that I believe manifests the business success that we have and the financial abundance. And, you know, like I know some, some people are like, Oh my gosh, you know, you're having a kid. It's like, you know, that's, I hope you have everything saved up. I'm like, I trust so much that that will never have to be an issue because I'm trusting in my experience to, you know, to just fall in line with my vibration that I'm trusting in my experience to, you know, to just fall in line with my

vibration that I'm, I'm bringing to the experience. Yeah. So, so let's, let's talk about numbers. People have at least a little bit of idea. Cause I know I'm an analytical person. I'm a numbers person. So I'd be like, well, how many houses did this guy sell? So give us an idea of your first full year, your first year, all of that stuff. So we can have a little bit of an idea of, of as an achiever, what Dean DeVries is actually doing in his business. Totally. How many houses have you sold? Yeah. It'd be, it'd be like really embarrassing. I was like, yeah, I sold three houses. I was like super fired up. Um, yeah, so I guess I should build a little bit of credibility at this point. Um, but, uh first year, I was just determined to make a hundred grand. Like, you know, I came from a business where, you know,

I had been earning a six-figure income since I was 20 years old. And so, you know, that to me was just part of my financial identity, I guess. And so I was like, yeah, whatever it takes to make 100 grand, I'm just going to do it. And so what that ended up looking like is just a lot of cold calling a lot of like staying late in the office. And people were like, dude, what are you doing? You're like a maniac. And at the time I was because I was just like, I need to figure this thing out. I was very achievement driven. I, you know, I, but not, not so much because I wanted to, you know, make a hundred grand, but what I came in with the intention of doing is to build a team.

And so I, what I love is, is leadership. That's really my, you know, the thing that I'm, I'm, I believe I'm meant to do. So I went in with the intention of making a hundred grand so I can show people that it is possible to make a hundred grand in your first year. Unlike, you know, what everybody else is saying. So I didn't hit my goal of a hundred grand. I actually made 134 grand my first year. And then which is 30 houses. It was like an average price of like 220,000. So it's not like I just sold like, you know, $3 million houses. I live in Port St. Lucie, look it up. So, so yeah, after after that, I started, you know, just attracting people into my business. And I've kind of created a name for myself in my local community through just the, you know, what I was doing to, you know, hit this goal of making $100,000 so I can teach people that this is a viable opportunity and under my leadership that they can trust. And that ended up 12 months later, after I first started, I ended up hiring my first few people and fast forward to now we've got a team of

12 people and last year we sold 89 houses and equated to about 15 million dollars in real estate for our first year as a team and then this year it looks like we're gonna get close to doubling it nice. So one thing I think is super interesting too that you kind of talked about real quickly, but I want to dive into because it's been interesting for me to watch from an outsider's perspective. And for me, I've noticed, you know, and I've told you for years is, and I think if we're talking about just a little bit of the journey, and I've told you, I've told you for years, uh, is, and I think, I think if we're, we're talking about just a little bit of the journey, I think that for me, the journey happened a little bit quicker on this one, where for me, I was, you know, I've been achievement

driven. And the only reason why I was number one in Cutco in different categories was because of the fact that I, I just, it was, I was so achievement driven. It was the only thing that I cared about. I didn't even care about the money as much as I cared about just beating other people. And the reason why it was because of a lack of self-worth that, that, that really drove me is I've come to realize, but for me, you know, after reading week after, you know, going through some plant medicine ceremonies, I kind of released myself from that. And for you, I feel like it took you a little bit longer. There were times where I was like, Dean, like you don't need to work so hard. Like you're always on your phone.

Like if you remember a year ago, we were in Sedona and I was like, Dean, can you get off your damn phone? Remember, it was me, you and Lauren. And I was like, just get off your phone, dude. Like just chill with us. Just enjoy life. And I was like, just get off your phone, dude. Like, just chill with us. Just enjoy life.

But it seems like in the past six months, something like that, something shifted for you. Because it doesn't seem like you, I don't know if it was something that was brought into your awareness, if it was a meditation where you're like, oh, my gosh, I figured this part out about me, or if it was, you know, maybe even a plant ceremony that you realized something. But what was the shift for you? What was it before? What happened that made the shift? but what, what was the shift for you? What was it before? What happened that made the shift and what do you feel like it is now? Great question. And yeah, I feel like I,

I'm a little bit of a slow learner and, but at the same time, you're smart as hell. Well, yeah, I just, I, for me it just feels so perfect that I went through that experience. And there's something about like taking the journey slowly that is so not in my nature, at least the way that I've, you know, I've grown is just very, you know, very goal oriented, just very, you know, very goal oriented, driven, like I like fast results direct, and to exercise the discipline of patience, and humbleness, or humility, and just an appreciation for the actual journey versus the destination, I think was like, I mean, that in itself is the journey. And for me, it was, it was just perfect timing, because it was like, you know, little bits of like little growth spurts along the way that I'm like, Oh, oh, well, you know, I'm having all these awarenesses, like in

these different experiences, and probably the first major shift in my my consciousness um at least you know that's kind of brought me to here is my first plant medicine ceremony and that was about two years ago and um actually a little over two years ago and it just started it didn't give me many answers. It just, it just showed me like, oh, there's, you can do that. You can look at life like that. And, um, you know, I just started exploring that and it felt really, really good for me. And just, it felt very natural and very in line with my natural, you know, just my natural essence. Like it just felt good. So, um, so I just, I think that that was kind of like, uh, um, like baby steps up until I found out that

me and Jen were pregnant and that we were having a son. That's when I, I think I, that's probably why you're, you're saying over the last six months, because about six months ago is when I really, I kind of had a little bit of a breakdown, you know, and I think I shared this with you at the time, but I was just, I was so worried about like the legacy. Like I was worried about it. I had a fear like, and I mean, I could talk about this for days, but there's only two things that exist. It's either fear or love. And those are the only two reasons why we ever do anything or say anything or treat somebody a certain way. It all goes back to either love or fear. And for me to, you know, be in a, in a place where I was

fearful of not being the right example or, you know, having the right leadership to build a legacy and to nurture my son. You know, I didn't trust myself as a father and the energy of a father is like, I have so much respect for that archetype, you know, what a father means and what a father has,

not what, not what a father necessarily does or has to do, but the ability and the power that the father has in terms of how they're able to influence their family and really lead. Like that's the biggest leadership opportunity I think that exists. And you know, what I was finding after exploring this and like, I want, I want to get rid. And actually one of the things that you told me that definitely changed my perspective and it was a great, I heard it at the perfect time and it was like a mirror in my blind spot because you're like, there's no right way to do this human thing. Your legacy doesn't really matter if you're not focused on actually building the legacy, which only exists right here, right now. Yeah. You know, and that was, that was so profound.

And that, that did, you know, that was kind of the, you know, one of the things that just kind of catalyzed a journey of me finding and trusting my inner father and allowing that to just allowing myself to be that and to trust in that and to trust that everything else in my experience will be better because of it. Interesting. Yeah. When we got off that phone call, I still remember I was on where I was, I was driving in my truck and I was, I still remember exactly where I was. was and i was like i feel like dean needs to hear this because for a while you were talking about legacy and legacy and how you're worried about legacy and i think the reason why is because your dad's awesome he's a super amazing guy and you just

look up to him and you feel like because the fact that you look up to him you have something that you want you you look up to and you want to live up to that as well you kind of put him on a pedestal and you know i don't remember exactly the words that I said, just cause, you know, I feel like just kind of came out. But as I said, I think that you're focusing too much on your legacy when really your legacy is going to be built by what you do in the present moment. And if you're not, if you're focusing too much on your legacy, that means you're not in the present moment. So you're either here in the present moment or you're somewhere, if you're focusing too much on your legacy, that means you're not in the present moment. So you're either here in the present moment or you're somewhere else. And if you're

focusing on your legacy, you are somewhere else. And what you do in this present moment and the time that you spend and the quality time she's been with your son will build your legacy. And then what I said is, I was like, I got to build this legacy. I got to build this legacy. And I feel like a lot of people, they, a lot of people that are out there, they, they know they're going to die. And a lot of people, you know, with that, the fact of them dying, they want their name to live on past their life. And what I said was, you know, if you do the right things, don't worry about what happens after your life. And you put as much as you possibly can into people, your legacy will live on after you, but you can't worry about. So for me, I don't care what my legacy is after I die,

but I know that if I impact enough people while I'm alive, I will have some legacy. And, you know, the, uh, the legacy aspect of it is it is, I always think about the question that says, or the statement that says, they say you die twice. The moment that you stop breathing is the first time. And the second time is the last time that somebody whispers your name. And I can't be in control of the last time somebody present moment up until the time that I die. Yeah. And by the way, I think your, uh, your mic cut out a little bit. Um, but I think what you just said that last part, um, could you repeat that? Cause that just rang really true for me.

So they say you died twice. The moment that you stop breathing is the first one and the second one is the last time someone whispers your name yes and like to to worry about when the last time somebody whispers your name is just so it it's not here it's not it's it's not in existence because the only thing that does exist is the present and the more time that you put into the present moment and the more focused you put into the present moment and the more focused you are on the present moment, the more that the longer that your legacy will actually last. For sure, man. Yeah. That, that wisdom is, you know, was, was it, it took some experiences for me to, to really understand and trust in that you know because there's there's so much

so much of this has like so much of this journey has to do with trusting the journey and And trusting ourselves that we will Move through this journey in the highest, you know potential way possible as long as we are just really connected to the present and connected to, you know, our hearts. And, you know, I really believe that we're, you know, put on this planet so that we can learn love. And when we learn that everything just falls into place. I mean, it's the highest vibration that that exists. And if I'm doing the things that I do out of love, then I trust in that. And I trust in everything else to just, you know, manifest in the way that's in line with that. Yeah. Yeah,

for sure. Yeah, I think that that's a key point. And the thing that I think is, and this just came to me, this literally just, Dean doesn't even know I'm about to say this, but Dean's joining in on the Iron Mind 60 Challenge. And I just thought to myself, man, it would be really good because Dean's just a participant, you know, and not just a participant, because that sounds like nothing's, you know, amazing is happening, but it is going to be pretty damn amazing. Hey, does everybody just want to be a participant? Oh, God.

I'll fire you up. Yeah, right? So the thing about it, though, is I'm like, you know what? I should go ahead and put you as an admin in the group. And so that during this challenge, because I know that, Dean, you're a very introspective person. You're also very wise in a lot of ways. And although everyone's going to be getting daily coaching for me every single day, you know, hits you and you think that it was profound.

Hop on a live and do a live if you want to. So if you're down for that, because I know that you're a smart, wise person, you've coached thousands of people as well. I think it'd be good for you to, to also be part of the, you know, the admin team. So you can go ahead and post in there whenever you like to. Oh brother, it's, it's an honor. And yeah, of course, like I just, without having any ego about that, what I love most about just, about that. What I love most about just, you know, what the platform that you have to share your wisdom. And like I said, dude, I just, I just love and respect everything that you are about. And this is a, this is a platform that loves you and I'm just honored to be a part of it. So anything that I can share that might resonate with, with other people, I am so happy to give back for that, for that reason.

Yeah. Cause I know, you know, we all have breakthroughs at different points. Breakthroughs on my own, but I know that you might, that, you know, you have a lot of value that you could give and it'd be a really good idea just for you to hop on and share that if you, you know, if you're called to it. Yeah, absolutely, man. The invitation has been accepted. Cool. So that's it. Well, let me ask you this. So for people that are out there, because I know that for you, you to decide to challenge yourself for 60 days, considering you literally told me the other day that you're waking up every single hour because, you know,

your newborn wants to be fed. So for you, you have the perfect excuse of why not to do it. So for you, you know, when I told you about it, you got super excited and said you wanted to join, you wanted your team to join your real estate team to join all that stuff. So tell me why, like for you, I'm just curious why you felt like this is, and I haven't even asked you this question. I'm just curious of it. We haven't talked about it, but what was a calling for you where you're like, yeah, I'm in on this? Well, it's obvious. It's an obvious, like, you know, I wouldn't not ever think to not accept the invitation. There's a lot of nots there. So follow those double negatives and you'll get to my point.

Not want to not. point. But yeah, for me, it was just really obvious because I'm at a beautiful moment right now in my life. And like this moment is so sacred that I want to meet this moment in my highest potential. Because if I can meet this experience in my highest potential and access a part of my heart that this baby boy is just, you know, exposing to my awareness within myself, I can, it's making me trust myself so much more as a leader, as a father, as a influencer, you know, as a brother, whatever. And I also, I'm just excited to be there. And this is like, this is just, this is like fun, but at the same time, very challenging. like fun, but at the same time, very challenging. And there's, I think what I love about the accountability aspect is that even if your why isn't that strong, where it's like, man, I don't

really have that like super spiritual connection. Like, oh my gosh, this is all of who I am. And I must do this. Like it feels so right. And you know, maybe for somebody in the place of like, It feels so right. And, you know, maybe for somebody in the place of like, yeah, I would love to be like that, but I just don't have the confidence. I'm not there yet. I am saying something negative about myself to make me not believe in myself and trust in myself that I can do what this invitation is asking me to do. And I think that now's the time.

It's always the time. Now is the only time that there is, you know, and now is always the time. And the accountability aspect helps, can help anybody just get more support and, you know, absorb more of that, that energy that, you know, we have collectively, if we're all putting our hearts into this, and it's a great excuse to put your heart into it, because why not? Why not become better? Why not find out who you are at the very core? And it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be perfect. But try. it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be perfect, but try, you know, like, like,

and be vulnerable in the journey. If you, you know, screw up a few days, like the, the, probably the hardest part about that is admitting that you did. And then forcing yourself to start back at day one, you know, like the accountability, the, the accountability that you have with yourself, even though nobody else will be there and see that, but the accountability with yourself to start over. Can you hear me? Yeah, I can. Okay. Yeah. I totally agree. And this is, this is a game of not impressing anybody else, but really building trust and learning more about yourself because these are moments where, you know, our weaknesses and our strengths are both exposed and we can rejoice in our

strengths and we should, because those are our strengths and we're meant to use them. And then our opportunities that show up where it's like, oh, wow, that's really holding me back. Never realized that before. You know, you have these kinds of awarenesses in moments where you are pushing yourself to the edge, you know, the edge of your comfort zone. And the, we can tell so much about who, how our programming is and our body and how we,

you know, like just, just how we approach and the energy that we approach our human experience. I think there's so much to be told, um, about a person based on how they respond to being at the edge of their comfort zone. And this is an opportunity for us to learn. It's a safe place, which allows us to be vulnerable. And there's so much strength and confidence that comes from vulnerability, ironically. Yeah, man, that's so true. I'm curious with you. This is a question, I'm just curious about it. What, if anything, scares you about, you know, going on this journey, you know, this 60 day journey, is there anything that scares you, um, about it? Hmm. If, if I had to, if I had to, um, pick a fear, that's, you know, the, the taking up the most real estate in my awareness, which

I don't, I don't really feel like there's a whole lot of, I just feel really, um, I feel really called to this. Um, but there's always that, that voice that I don't think I've ever gotten rid of. And I may never get rid of it, but just the voice of not being good enough, you know, and just not having what it takes. And that's just a fear that, you know, I'm still kind of like unwinding because, you know, that came from my childhood and my fear was that I wasn't enough and that's why I achieved. And, you know, I wasn't enough because I wanted to receive my father's love and I received my father's love when I achieved. And, you know, I wasn't enough because I wanted to receive my father's love. And I

received my father's love when I achieved. So I was afraid of not achieving so that I wouldn't be, you know, I wouldn't receive his love, which would then make me think I'm not worthy of love, and I'm not good enough. So do you feel like the fear that you feel is more of that little voice inside of your head that still tells you you're never going to be enough? Yeah. I think that voice is, um, you know, was so loud for so long that, um, you know, it's, it's hard to make it completely go away. But I think that if I'm looking for the voice, it's definitely there. Um, so I don't really, I don't tend to look for that voice or invite that voice. And instead, like, I just really, I just trained myself to just not go there, you know, and, and I think that it's very easy and experience like this, for us to look in the rear view mirror. for us to look in the rear view mirror. And a lot of that, a lot of, you know, not having fear is not looking in the rear view mirror and saying, Oh, well, based on the last 60 day challenge that

I did, I don't trust myself. Yeah, that's big. Um, I'm curious with you, you know, one of the things that that's been a huge shift for you, and I know you've struggled with since I've known you is, you know, like weight issues, and you've got it under control way more than you ever have. But kind of talk about that, what you what you learned about yourself through it. And then if you feel like this, you know, you're going to learn a lot about yourself in that with this challenge coming up too. Yeah. Yeah. I think the, like, I can sum this up very, very quickly. But my entire life, I had an issue of overthinking and not being present. And oftentimes that would, that would bring me to places where I overthought so much that it was like paralysis of analysis and just didn't, didn't really do

anything at all. But there's also the part of me, like, you know, I had a big problem eating, like I just ate and ate and ate because I was doing it unconsciously and also doing it because it was kind of like the hedonistic, uh, you know, like I just, uh, that, that was like the, the temporary, um, antidote for, for my anxiety that I wasn't good enough. Which, you know, it's kind of crazy to, you know, link those things together. But if you think about it, it really does link together. And that's not the only thing it links to. It links to so many other behaviors and thought processes and belief systems and perspectives

that definitely don't serve us. But, you know, it's just kind of caked in there into our awareness. So, um, did I answer the question? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, you did. But, um, you know, what, what was the big, the big aha moment when, you know, I know we, we, it just kind of clicked for you one time and then you just moved on this massive weight loss and it's, you kind of never have been back to the same size that you were before. Was there something that happened or like, what, what was it? What was the, the, uh, the thing that you realized?

Yeah. I mean, definitely one part, one of my growth spurts around that specifically was the Tony Robbins conference that you and I both went to in March, I believe it was 2015, 14? Actually, yeah, it would have been 16. 16? Okay. I think it was, no, I think the one that I'm thinking of, I think was like a year or two before that. Anyway. Um, it doesn't really matter, but yeah, in the last like three to five

years, um, that my first Tony Robbins conference, it was, um, that like going through the Dickens process and going through like, like actually feeling the emotions of what it would be like to, to feel the full effect of the bad decisions that I was making regarding my health. So like, you know, future, future pace, you know, if I don't change, what will life look like for me? And, you know, when, when visualizing that and allowing myself to feel the trauma associated with that, it, it definitely helped me kind of just make a decision that that absolutely was not aligned for me. And there's, there's, there's something else that I was meant for. And, and, you know, being in shape and being athletic and being, you know, able to move,

like that's very much in my, you know, in my nature. And that feels really good for me. And it just feels better to have more energy, which I also experienced at Tony Robbins. So between having something that I was really looking forward to, as well as something I was running away from, like the pain pleasure principle that he talks about, it was really effective and me to just change my habits. And, effective and me to just change my habits. And, you know, it wasn't necessarily a diet, it was just more so a way of treating my body and really like holding my what I put into my body as sacred and with intention. Yeah, like so much, so much of my eating habits when I was a kid and fat was me just eating because I was bored and like I

would be watching TV and eating at the same time like what am I focused on nothing you know I'm just like I'm like a robot just feeding this body this meat vehicle and and so like now I just I love you know just appreciating all of the hard work that needed to happen in order for that food to be in front of me and for me to have a bite of it and allow it to nourish my body. And just that shift alone ends up looking like a lot of better decisions. Oh, yeah, for sure. Let me ask you this. I don't even think we've ever asked, but I've ever talked about it before. Do you take cold showers?

Oh, I love cold showers do you i hate cold showers and i love cold showers actually yeah let me rant on this for a little bit because this is something that has been so integral in my journey and it sounds ridiculous but the cold the cold shower has taught me so much when so i you know i've shared this with you before rob where i do the shower ceremony which basically yeah basically involves me having a ritual, getting myself energetically to the place where I'm just loving everything. It actually comes back to unconditional love. And if like, one of my intentions is to just live with unconditional love, because that's what feels really, really good for me. When I have more love, I feel better. Everything's better to the people around me are better. So having unconditional love, I thought I knew what that meant because I'm like, Oh, well I have unconditional love for, you know, my mom. I have unconditional love for, you know, my, my father and my sister and my, you know, my son and my wife and my, you know, all these important people. So yeah,

of course, I have unconditional love. But by very virtue of me just pointing out the people in which I have unconditional love for means that there are conditions. I am a phony, if I am saying that's what unconditional love is because there are no conditions or there, it includes all the conditions. So another way I actually wrote this down in my journal, which I've been gearing up for this challenge. And one of the things I'm working on is journaling. So I was writing in my journal two days ago and I wrote down unconditional love and then all conditional love. It's the same thing. Unconditional love is also all conditional love. It's all everything, every part of your human experience. If there's only two things that exist, your awareness and then the experience that your awareness perceives. And if you can have unconditional love for every part of

the experience, that is like, that's when you got it figured out. So that's what I'm trying to figure out. And cold showers have helped me get to a little bit of a piece of wisdom around that, because it's so easy to not like the cold shower because of the discomfort. You know, it's at the edge of our comfort zone. And, you know, at first when I started doing cold showers, I did it because I wanted to prove it to myself that I can do it. And I was disciplined and I, you know, I'm, you know, building the trust in myself, but I went in and just suffered my way through it. And that's one way to go about life is to, you know, Jesse Elder talks about this all the time. Like just suffering your way to success.

Yeah. And that is one way of doing the cold shower. But I found that that just didn't, you know, that wasn't consistent with, you know, what I know about my experience and what I love most about my experience. So when I met the cold shower with love, and it sounds crazy, but being in this really loving state, like just think about the most loving moment that you've ever had and bringing that to the cold shower as like, like, you know, when you're when you're seeing your, you know, imagine seeing Toby, after not seeing him for like a month after going to Italy coming back in that first moment,

you see Toby, like, imagine, like opening up to the cold shower that same way. Yeah, right. same way. Yeah. Right. And it's, it's crazy, but like, you know, my experience of this has been when I love the shower and really just like have a total unconditional love for the full cold, cold shower experience. The, I find warmth in the cold. Yeah. You know, funny how you can do that. Yeah. And so I'm like, wow, you know, it's, it all goes back to, you know, that, that kind of cliche, but very true. Like if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, you know, I, I became different. And so my experience was different. It's funny. I literally, right before we started talking, did a Facebook Live inside of the group, the Ironman 60 group. And I talked about instead of suffering, which is crazy. So it shows you how

much on the same wavelength we are. You can either suffer your way. I taught how to take a cold shower, the correct ways to do it. There's the right ways or wrong ways to do it. And I said, you can either suffer through it, which I did for a very long time, or you can allow it to happen. And that's the difference between, you know, you can suffer through life. There's two options in life. Either you can be suffering or you can live in a beautiful state and you're suffering through the actual cold shower, or you're trying to live in a beautiful state. And if you can love something that you hate, then you've mastered life because you don't have to stress or worry about anything anymore. And I'm not going to go too in depth because I don't want to give away all the secrets I gave

when the actual Facebook live in the group. Well, and also just, we don't have the time. There's so much there. I literally dove into like, you know, suffering versus beautiful state is the same as heaven versus hell. And we are able to create the experience that we want to at any moment in life. And I literally talked about that in depth in the actual video, which is funny that she said it because we didn't plan this in any sort of way. No, not at all. I didn't even realize we're going to go this direction. So it's just kind of funny that we're on the same wavelength so much that you brought in the whole, you can suffer your way through it or you can love it. And when you love it, you know,

usually look at things the way that things you look at change and you can literally make something that is cold feel hot. literally make something that is cold feel hot. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's so much wisdom in the cold shower and I think it's a genius part of a, of the program. And do you want to talk about some of the other parts? Yeah. Do you journal and visualize? So, um, journaling is not something that, um, I've made a priority in my life in the past.

And frankly, I don't know why, because it feels really good to journal. And there's also like, like when I journal, I, I do, I am forced to get super,

super present. And like, that's what I love most about it because I just let whatever's on my awareness just to bleed out at like a, you know, like just a, a set pace. And it just feels really good to, you know, allow that to just get out of my system and like materialize into the world. And, and so I usually don't, at least if I'm looking at my past behavior, but lately I have been picking up my journal like every couple of days and writing some,

just some things that I'm noticing about myself and my awarenesses. And I do use that opportunity to kind of paint the vision for what I want to create that day and reflecting on the day. So there's not really a structure to my journaling, but I do a little bit of visualization in order to get me the content that I need to, you know, put down into the journal which actually is is the reason why i do the shower ceremony is because that entire ceremony is very um it's very visual for me because i i can visualize myself morphing and transforming into this newer and improved version every single day and i actually like it's i kind of imagine imagine as if I'm like Ironman and I'm

like getting upgrades to my suit and you know but like it just like that like putting the Ironman suit together every single morning by just like bringing inviting all of these loving thoughts and this like this loving vibrations and just the energy in which I want to show up to different parts of my day. I'm just inviting all that stuff into my awareness and just letting that like really just kind of bounce around until it feels like it's locked in. And, and so, you know, however long it takes and using music and just the shower ceremony and, you know, just getting to that, that place, um, is that's kind of the way that I, that I do visualization. Yeah, I think, I think there's a lot of power in visualization. It's, I'm actually considering

writing a book on it just cause it's how much it's changed my life and, you know, just everything that's been part of my life since I started learning about visualization. I, you know, my mom taught it to me when I was 13 years old. I talked to her the other day. She doesn't remember teaching me to visualize when I was 13. So it's been 20 years. But obviously, I've tried to get better at it and learn more about it as I've done it. What's like one breakthrough you've had with visualizations? I'm just curious, because I definitely want to receive from you on that front. visualizations. I'm just curious because I definitely want to receive from you on that front. Well, so the thing about visualizing is, you know, for me, the very first time I had a breakthrough is when I was 13 and I was, my mom, I was really nervous before I went into a game. It was the

championship game in basketball. I was 13. My best friend was the captain of his team. He was on, and we were playing his team and I was the captain of my team. So I was nervous, especially because he was a lot better than I was. Why don't you go and just visualize how you want the game to feel like how you want it to be. And therefore, when you actually go and do it, it won't feel like so foreign to you. It'll just feel like you've been there before and take 30 minutes. And my mom literally had me for 30 minutes. She goes, you know, just go into your room, lay on the ground. And just for 30 minutes, just how do you want the game to go? How do you want, think about the baskets that you score and everything. And, you know, just think about what it's going to be like. And, um, and literally I visualized the

entire thing. And I remember getting there and it didn't feel near as nervous because of the fact that I felt like I had been there before. And that's just a tiny thing. Like there's been massive breakthroughs that I've had, but that's just the first thing that pops into my head of just like, you know, we get so nervous. Like before I go on stage and talk to people, I always visualize the crowd. You know, I don't visualize them naked. Like people always say, I think about them naked or anything like that. I visualize who's going to be in front of me, the people that are there. And I literally give the talk in my head. So by the time I get on stage, it feels like I've already done it before. So if anyone's ever nervous about anything

that they do in life, if they just visualize it, it feels normal to them the next time that they do it. You know, if you visualize it over and over and over again, well, then what happens? Then you get, you're able to, you know, it feels really normal and comfortable by the time you do it. But, you know, just the, there's, there's a lot of, of stuff, you know, there's a lot of, uh, you know, studies that they've done and they found that, that literally they took three different groups of people and, uh, in group A, they had, uh, they played a piano for them. They taught them how to play these scales on the piano. And then they went back and they practiced for two weeks. Group B, they watched somebody play the piano. They practiced the scales, never once touched a piano.

They practiced the scales. And then they did it for two weeks. It was an hour a day every day for two weeks is what they were supposed to do. And then Group C, they watched somebody do it and they didn't practice. So group C had no brain change. Their brain didn't change at all. And they weren't able to play the piano when they got there. Group B and group A had almost the exact same amount of motor function, the part of your brain where the motor functions starts to grow, where the motor functions happen. Group A and B had almost the exact same amount of growth in their brain, even though group A practiced physically for an hour every single day for two

weeks and group B only visualized playing for an hour every two weeks. But what was crazy is even though they never touched a piano when they learned in the first place, and they never touched a piano in practice, they could play almost as good as group A could. Wow. So they not only were able to play, they physically changed their brain by visualizing playing the piano. And so that makes you think, holy crap, what could I do with my brain if I visualize? If I want to normalize the feeling of living in that million dollar house, what if I visualize myself living in that million dollar house today, every single day? And then I won't be so afraid that little voice inside of your head won't be so loud telling you that you're not good enough because in your head, you already have that house, right? Just like you already played that piano.

They never played the damn piano, but you already own that house in your mind. And the best part about visualizing is that your brain doesn't know the difference between something happening in reality or happening inside of your mind. happening in reality or happening inside of your mind. So if your little voice tells you you're not good enough to own a million dollar house, well, once you buy that million dollar house in the real world, that voice will stop telling you that, right? Or if let's say it's, let's say it's a million dollars in a year. The voice is telling you that you can't make a million dollars in a year where you're in. And then you go and make a million dollars in a year. That voice is never going to say it again. It's just going to say, you can't make $2 million in a year now. Well, if you visualize that million dollars, the feelings with a heightened emotion, you

have to bring a heightened emotion to it. And, you know, I teach this whole thing inside of the group. You bring that heightened emotion into it and you visualize what it would be like to have that million dollars, not what it would be like to go on the journey, but have that million dollars. That little voice inside of your head starts to shut up and stop telling you that you can't do it because a little voice already thinks that you have done it because you're tricking your brain into thinking that what you visualize has already happened in the real world, which makes

it easier to go out and get because you're not holding yourself back anymore. The only reason why you're not making a million dollars a year is because you haven't, you're holding yourself back in some sort of way. So if we can kind of release that and allow ourselves to have that breakthrough, we can conquer pretty much anything that we want to. And there's a lot, I mean, I could go for hours and hours about visualization. Those are just a couple of things. Yeah. What, uh, I wasn't expecting that response. So that's like drinking, drink it out of a fire hose. But yeah, I mean, what you're saying is, is super powerful. And I, I definitely, you know, I believe in, in, you know, what visualization has done for me. And

I mean, you, you definitely have an experience with it that I would love to tap into and receive from you. So yeah, I'm, I'm really looking forward to that, which by the way, what a fucking reason to, I don't know if I was supposed to. Yeah, that's okay. Fuck it. But anyway, the 60 day challenge,

like man, to be able to receive stuff like that, you know, and you've actually done all this stuff. So it's not like you just read in a book you're regurgitating on your blog you know like this is that comes from your own experience that I've seen you journey with you know over the last decade and and so I just have so much respect for the wisdom that that that you deliver to your audience.

And man, what a reason to just get some Rob dial for 60 days straight. Like that's amazing. So, well, let's wrap it up. Cause I gotta go run and get some food before. How long have we been doing this thing?

I've just been talking. This is what we do when we're on the phone normally. So, so if to wrap it up, let's just say, I guess people who, who are going to be listening to you are going to be, you know, that who want to join the challenge are going to be listening to you in the challenge because you're going to be jumping on there. But you know, to wrap up, you know, Dean DeVries going into the 60 day challenge,

only a couple of days left. How do you feel? And what do you have to say to anybody who I guess is, is on the fence? Yeah, I'm feeling, I'm feeling excited and humble at the same time. And just really ready to receive some lessons through this challenge and lessons, not only from the community and, you know, those that are aligning with this, but also the lessons that are going to come into my awareness as I continue to challenge myself through the 60 days. And, you know, I love what you said in one of your ads, I think it was, you know, the,

your mind is a plastic and not elastic where, you know, you, you stretch yourself to a certain point. You don't, you're never the same after that. So 60 days of doing something that you've never done will get you to a place you've never been and that is like the greatest gift uh the 60 days is actually just the the beginning of everything else that's going to happen thereafter yeah so um so i'm excited i'm also honored to you know to just be here and, you know, be in the group and to be able to be associated with other like-minded individuals that, you know, want to, you know,

know that they have more within them and, you know, aligning with their purpose is something that's really important to them. And there's a lot of power with all of us together. So, you know, between the support that we can give each other and just, you know, it's just the work that the world needs. We all need to be, you know, at our highest potential. Imagine what the world would look like if we all were. Yeah, absolutely. Good, man. I love it. Well, thanks for being on. We're going to go ahead and ask everybody, you know, if you, if you want to hear some more Dean DeVries, go ahead and send me an email. You can, if you enjoyed this, if you want us to have more conversations, if you enjoyed the banter back and forth, which is completely unscripted, just an idea of us deciding to hop on and see if it worked. Send me an email, rob at robdial.com. Let me know what you thought about it. And for those

of you guys that are out there, you're thinking about joining Dean and I and over 450 people now that are in the Iron Minds 60 Challenge, you go to www.ironmind60.com. So I-R-O-N-M-I-N-D-6-0.com. And we would love to see you in there. You'll get some lessons from me. And hey, Dean just told you and we just figured out that Dean's going to be giving some lessons as well. So we'd love to see you in there. Dean, thank you for hopping on the podcast, man. Thank you, brother. It was a blast. Thanks, man. Talk to you soon. See you.