The Mindset Mentor - Make Your Emotions Your Super Power (Vulnerability Pt. 1)

Episode Date: August 25, 2022

Today, I am going to teach you how to make your vulnerability your superpower!   Want to master your mindset? Every Monday I send out an email with mindset tips for the week, click here to receive that email: http://mondayemail.com/ Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dyle. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, please do me a quick favor. Take out your phone and give us a rating and review however you listen to us, whether that's Apple Podcasts or that's Spotify. The more positive reviews that we get on this podcast, the more that they actually show this to other people who have never listened to it before. So if you would like to help us grow, that would be the biggest way to do so. And I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Today, I'm going to be talking about how to take your emotions

and turn them into a superpower. And the one thing we're going to talk about most today and also next episode is vulnerability. Oh no, vulnerability. Vulnerability is something that most people are afraid of. And you got to ask yourself, why are we afraid of being vulnerable? Like why are we truly afraid of being vulnerable, of being authentic, of being our true selves in front of other people? Why do we put on a mask and act like we're somebody else when in reality, we're not that person at all? Why do we feel like we have to be accepted by others? And we're going to talk about what vulnerability is and why we're afraid of it. And let's talk about it real quick. In most people's heads, we think if we're vulnerable

in front of other people, whether we know them really well or whether we don't know them well at all, we think in our head that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness. We think of it as being a dark emotion. We think vulnerability is the core of fear. It's the core of anxiety, shame, vulnerability is the core of fear. It's the core of anxiety, shame, disappointment, and most of the most difficult emotions. But vulnerability is also at the core of love, at the core of joy, at the core of happiness, acceptance. And we're going to talk really, really deep on that today. And, you know, if you think about our culture that we're raised in, that today. And, you know, if you think about our culture that we're raised in, if you think about the ads that we always see, the ads and the culture that we have is basically brainwashing people to think that they're not good enough. Now, I don't know if this is done on purpose or

if it just happens to be a byproduct of the way that ads are created and the way that our culture is. But if you think about, let's say, for instance, a little girl, right? A little girl, she's growing up and she sees all these magazines. And all these magazines are these beautiful photoshopped women. And they think to themselves, I don't know if I could be that. I don't look like that. I don't look like the supermodel. I don't look like that. I don't look like Barbie. I don't look like all of the things that I see. And in turn, a lot of people end up being thinking, well, I guess I'm just not enough. I guess I'm not going to be vulnerable. And they don't consciously think I'm not going to be vulnerable, but it's in the back of their heads and their subconscious. And so what we tend to do as we grow up is we tend to numb our

vulnerability. We don't want to open up a lot of times because we don't want to be disappointed. to open up a lot of times because we don't want to be disappointed. We want to stay inside of our armor because opening up makes you feel naked. It makes you feel as if you're coming out of your skin and showing your true self. And if we show our true self, we show our true, authentic, vulnerable self, and that is not accepted, that is one of the biggest hits that somebody feels like they could take. And it's only gotten harder when you look at, we have social media and we're only as good as how many likes we get. And if you see the people that you follow on Instagram who have photoshopped faces and photoshopped bodies, and they're only putting out the highlight reel of their life. And then you see yourself when you take the makeup off, or you see yourself when you're not in perfect lighting, and you see

yourself and you think of the filters that you normally use and all of the advertising and social media makes us feel like we're not enough because we constantly, whether we like it or not, are always comparing ourselves with other people. So we think, I'm not good enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not strong enough. I'm not fit enough.

You know, you see people who have way more money than you on Instagram and they have all of the cars and they travel and all of that. I'm not fit enough. You see people who have way more money than you on Instagram and they have all the cars and they travel and all that. I'm not as successful as them. I'm not smart enough. I'm not thin enough. You're not enough in some sort of way. And we have that feeling. And it makes it so bad because we're comparing ourselves to what is probably impossible standards to achieve. So if you think of yourself looking at a photoshopped person and then you see yourself right when you wake up, yeah, of course you don't look as good because we're seeing ads, we're seeing Instagram photos of almost unattainably skinny, pretty, handsome, fit people. And we have to have, you know, think that we're perfect. We have to put on Instagram

filters and makeup or whatever it might be because we're trying to at least portray ourselves to look a little bit better. But every single time that we're changing the way that we truly look and posting it, what we're doing is saying subconsciously, I'm not good enough to show myself as I truly am. So we're comparing ourselves to basically impossible standards because Photoshop is not real life. And then we put on some sort of filter or we change ourselves in some sort of way, or we make ourselves not look as big in those genes. And every single time that we do it, it's a little bit of hit to the confidence. And we see perfect marriages and love stories on TV and in the movies. And we think,

my relationship is good, but I don't seem like I'm that in love with that person. Maybe I'm not in love with this person. You know, I see this movie that I'm watching, this rom-com, and it's, they're so in love with each other and he would die for her. I don't know if I have that relationship. And we compare ourselves to everything on the big screen. And so we have all of these things, the ads, the Photoshop, the Instagram, the movies, and all of that. So what do we do? Because we can't compare ourselves to those. What we do is we try to hide. We try to make ourselves not seen. We try to hide behind our armor and never let someone truly see the real us because we don't even accept the real us. So how could somebody else possibly accept the real us? And we hide behind our blemishes and our bald heads and we

put hats on and we get into relationships, we get into friendships, and they're all very surface level and they never grow because deep down in relationships and friendships, grow because deep down in relationships and friendships, we don't want in those close relationships, the possibility of being let down. So we make ourselves a chameleon and we change ourselves into who we think somebody wants us to be so that therefore we are finally accepted. Because to let ourselves be fully seen and fully authentic and not be accepted is one of the biggest fears that people have. And it's easier. Let's be real. It's easier to hide behind these and never fully be seen and open up ourselves for the possibility of a letdown. Because if we enter into that race of a friendship with vulnerability, if we enter

into the relationship with vulnerability, with posting our bald heads on Instagram, with posting our face without makeup, we enter a race where we could possibly lose. And so what do we do? It's just easier to close off. It's easier to not be seen. It's easier to play small. But the problem is this. In order to experience all of the best emotions in life, we have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and be truly authentically who we are. The love, the joy, the happiness, the hope, the authenticity. We can't expect to experience those feelings, those high, high feelings, if we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We can't experience the highest emotions without also experiencing

the lowest emotions as well. And so what we do is we try to close off to the lowest emotions, not realizing that if you close off to the lowest of lowest emotions, you're also going to close off to the highest of highest emotions. But the biggest problem is that in our heads, we think that vulnerability is weakness. It shows us as being weak. We're imperfect. We're photoshopping.

Social media and society, they don't want to see, we don't want to seem weak and imperfect to them. We want to present ourselves in a very perfect way so that people go, man, I want to be like them. I want to be accepted. So we show our highlight reels of our life. We cover up the bald spots. We put on the makeup. You put on the filters. But you have to realize when you're open, when you're honest, when you're vulnerable, when you're authentic, you are in a way completely emotionally naked. Hey, there's a lot of stuff happening in the automotive industry and it's really hard to keep up with. It can also be really hard to even know what those changes mean for you

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calculators and estimate your price range, monthly loan payments, and more. Browse new and used listings near you with deal ratings to make sure that you're getting the best price possible. So if you're considering making a change on the road, Edmunds is here to help. Visit edmunds.com slash appraisal to get a free online appraisal today. That's edmunds.com slash appraisal. Edmunds, they drive it like it is. What do people actually think about you? Oh my gosh, I don't know. But think about this for a second. If you see somebody who is raw, who is real, who is fully authentic, who is vulnerable, do we think, oh my gosh, that person's so weak? No. What do you think about that person when you see someone who is raw, who's real, who's authentic, who is themself? What do we think about

them? We think, wow, that person is so courageous. How do they do it? When we see a person that's open and vulnerable, we view that person not as weak, we view them as strong. We view them as courageous, but we're still afraid to open ourselves up and be vulnerable because we think that it's weak. Even though when we see someone's vulnerable, we see them as strong. I think that one of the main problems of being vulnerable is that really it leaves us open to uncertainty.

If I act like I am in front, act like this person wants me to be, then I know I will be accepted. But I am being accepted for someone that I am in front, act like this person wants me to be, then I know I will be accepted. But I am being accepted for someone that I am not. And if I open myself up, I don't know if this person's going to accept me. If I show myself this way, I don't know if I'm going to be accepted. And most people are uncomfortable with uncertainty. We want definites. So it's a lot easier to just pretend we're somebody that we're not. And, you. And if we love somebody and we open up to them, we show them who we truly are behind all of the armor and they don't do the same.

They don't love us back. Will they judge us? So we feel like it's all too risky. We don't want to open ourselves up to being hurt. It's not just love in relationships, but it's also many things like vulnerability can be many other things besides that. Vulnerability can be deciding to start a business. Vulnerability could be deciding to follow your passion. It could be sharing an unpopular opinion. It could be calling a friend who has terrible health issues. It could be saying, I love you first. It could be sharing your art or

your music with somebody. It could be trying to do something new. It could be sharing your art or your music with somebody. It could be trying to do something new. It could be exercising in public when you're overweight. It could be being accountable, having faith, admitting when you were wrong, asking to be forgiven. All of those are in different ways, vulnerability. And the cool thing about it is that the word vulnerable actually comes from the Latin word, which is vulnerar, which means capable of being wounded and open for attack. That's why we're most afraid of being vulnerable because we feel that we are open for being wounded and possibly able to be attacked. We want to be strong. We want to be courageous. So we don't allow ourselves to

be vulnerable because we think that if we open ourselves up for attack with the possibility of being emotionally wounded, it's emotional exposure. But in reality, when you're vulnerable, you become emotionally stronger. No one looks down on someone who's vulnerable. They look up to them. So to be vulnerable is to be alive. To be vulnerable is to be who you truly are. To be vulnerable is to be going, hey, this is who I am. Accept me as I am. And if you don't, you can go somewhere else. And that's really hard for us because as tribal beings, we want to be accepted by everybody. And it all starts more than anything else when we're children. We come into this world authentic. We come into this world vulnerable. Have you ever seen a child? They don't care what

you think about them. You learn at some point in time to care what people think about you. But as we get older and as a child is reprimanded and we learn that things that we can and cannot do to fit in with society and what our parents want us to be, people end up closing off. Children end up closing off who they truly are because it's just easier to be accepted. You know, it's like it can start that way with the parents and you go into elementary school and you share some secrets with a friend thinking that they'll never tell another soul. And then they go and they tell somebody else because kids don't know any better. And then you get made fun of for telling your best friend the emotional vulnerable thing that you wanted to say.

And so you think, oh, I'm just going to close off. It's just easier. And once again, this is all subconscious. Most people are not consciously thinking about it. This is why like your first heartbreak can be so hard because you find someone, like you find that first love. You show them your true self and you allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable with them. And it makes you so happy. It makes you over the moon. Oh my God, I'm accepted. I'm loved by this person. You feel all this love, this happiness. But then you see that person kissing your best friend

by the lockers or whatever it is it might be, cheating on you, breaking your heart, not calling you back. And you feel like your heart has been ripped out because you showed that first person who you truly were. And it feels like complete emotional treason. So you learn to close off more and more and more. It's raw, it's emotional years

that we learn to close off more than anything else because if we close off, it doesn't allow us to be hurt. Because we're certain that if we close off, we won't be hurt. And if we open up, it allows us to be hurt and uncertainty ends up scaring us. But with everyone dealing with vulnerability, not one personally is able to just easily open up and embrace vulnerability. Because we're all human. We struggle with feelings of not being enough. We struggle with feelings of not being smart enough, pretty enough, good enough, fit enough, not being enough. We struggle with feelings of not being smart enough, pretty enough, good enough,

fit enough, successful enough, thin enough, all of those things. So the thing that we have to really realize is that if we want to experience all of life's emotions, the highest of highs, the joy, the happiness, the peace, the love, all of those things, we have to at some point in time decide, you know what? I'm going to open up. I'm going to show people who I truly am. It is so important for me to open myself up to feel the highest of highs, to finally find out who's going to love and respect me for who I truly am, that whatever happens, happens. And that is really hard because there's no definites with the phrase, whatever happens, happens. Because to be vulnerable is to be alive, to be open to love, to be open to happiness. It's to be alive. In the next episode, we're going to talk much, much deeper about how to embrace it. But what I want you to really understand more than anything else is if you're truly going to be happy, if you're truly going to be fulfilled, there's going

to have to be a part of you that identifies where you're not being your true self, where you're not being your authentic self, where you're putting on too much makeup, where you're trying to hide your bald spot, where you're using too many filters because you're trying to present yourself as someone that you are not because you don't feel subconsciously, probably not even in your conscious mind, you don't even feel consciously and subconsciously able to show who you truly are because you won't be accepted. Think about that for a second. Imagine going your entire life and not truly knowing who you authentically are and not stepping into that version of you. Scary, isn't it? And so what I want you to start to think about before the next episode comes out

is who am I? Who am I truly at my core, not in front of my mom, not in front of my girlfriend, not in front of my wife, my husband, not in front of my brother, sister, not in front of my best friends. Who am I at my core? And do I have the audacity, the strength to be vulnerable and present myself as I truly am? Because the only way that you're going to experience the highest of highs is to open yourself up to, as Venerar means, to possibly be attacked. Because once you step into that version of you, that is your truest version, you start to realize, well, I love myself, so I don't need anybody else to love me. I love myself, so this person wants to leave because I'm my true authentic self. I'm not trying to hurt anybody. But if I am who I truly am and I'm not accepted, that's somebody else's fault. That's somebody

else's problem. That's not my problem. And so what I really want you to think about is where are you not being vulnerable? Where are you not opening yourself up? Where are you pretending to be somebody else? Because in the next episode, I'm going to teach you how to embrace vulnerability and to show your true self to people and be more comfortable with being open, honest, and vulnerable, and possibly, as it says, open for attack. Because vulnerability is not weak. Vulnerability is absolute strength. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And if you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.

And if you like this podcast and you also want to follow this podcast on Instagram, you can follow us at The Mindset Mentor Podcast. We have tons of clips that we're sharing on there to get extra motivation, extra mindset inside of your social media feed as well so that we constantly be helping you as much as we possibly can. So once again, share us on Instagram, follow us on Instagram as well. And I'm gonna leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.