The Mindset Mentor - Master Your Reactions

Episode Date: July 26, 2017

Episode 302 -  Contrary to what most people believe, your reactions are not impulses. They are completely controllable responses. In this episode I talk about how to master the way you react to all situations. Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to the MWF Motivation Podcast, one of the top-rated motivational podcasts in the world. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I come out with a short, to-the-point, no-BS podcast designed to transform you from who you are today into who you want to be. There's no fluff here, just life-changing content. My name is Rob Dial, and the podcast starts now. Welcome to today's episode. If you have not yet done so, please subscribe to us, however you listen to us. Also, if you have not yet done so, just FYI, compared to how many people listen to the podcast and how many people follow me on Facebook, there has been

a surprisingly, surprisingly small amount of people who have signed up for the free month of one-on-one coaching with me, the drawing for the free month of one-on-one coaching with me, which means that your chances of winning are much, much, much, much better than what I actually thought they would be. I have over 200 and some thousand people that follow on Facebook and thousands of people that listen to the podcast. So if you thought that you would have absolutely zero chance, I will tell you this, there's a lot of lazy people in the world. And some people are just not joining because they are lazy or because of the fact they don't think they're going to win.

So you have a better chance of winning. So if you want to join in to the drawing to get a chance to win a free month of one-on-one coaching with me, go to www.9, the number nine, spokes, like spokes on a bike,.com slash robdial. So once again, 9spokes.com slash robdial. You will get entered in to a free drawing. No matter where you live, you don't have to have a business. You can live anywhere in the world. You can enter this drawing for a free month of one-on-one coaching with me. That's me and you have a call every single week for one month. And as part of it, Nine Spokes, the company will give you for free, costs you absolutely nothing, takes 10 seconds. They will give you for free their productivity tool, which is what I recommend. I use it myself. It's a dashboard that

makes everything a lot easier to use and make you much, much more efficient, whether you're a business owner or not a business owner. You'll get that for free. So you'll get into the drawing for free, and you'll also get the productivity tool for free. So none of this costs you any money. It's absolutely free. You can live anywhere in the world and you don't have to own a business. So once again, go to www.ninespokes.com slash Rob Dial. So today what I'm going to talk about is mastering your reactions. And this is an interesting thing because most people think that their reactions are them. For instance, someone says something like, and this is something that I've realized talking to a lot of people in the past couple of weeks, talking to different people who listen to

the podcast and different people in my group coaching and even just my one-on-one coaching clients as well. Which if you're interested in one-on-one coaching, sorry, I forgot about this. I do have one more spot that is available for my one-on-one coaching. So once again, if you're interested in that, send me an email, rob at mwfmotivation.com because I do have one spot left in my group coaching. And if you want to be the one that fills that, send me an email. We can have a conversation about it. But that is like the upper echelon level of one-on-one time with me. But anyways, sorry to get off topic. I just realized that. But I realize a lot of people are saying stuff about the reactions and they didn't

realize that it was about reactions. What they just said is something like, I'm an emotional person. Or they said, I get stressed out easy, or I'm lazy sometimes. And those are not, people say, I am this person. That's not who you are. That is just your reaction to something happening. And sure, you might be a quote unquote emotional person or what you might be doing is reacting emotionally to a situation and then identifying yourself with that emotion. So let me give you an idea of what I mean. For instance, someone treats you in a certain way and your reaction is to cry. You choose that reaction. It doesn't just happen.

It's something that you've done over and over and over again in your life. And you might say, that's crazy. No, I'm crying because I'm emotional. What's happening is you're choosing that it is okay to cry, which isn't always a bad thing in every situation. But to say that you're an emotional person because of it does not make sense. You're choosing to allow yourself to be emotional with it. So what happens is people over 20, 30, 40 years, whatever it is, however long you've been alive, whenever you get some type of feeling that somebody might, for instance, if we're going to go with this example where if someone treats you a certain way, whenever

you feel that certain way, your reaction, which is completely separate from the event, has been linked together since you were little to cry and to be emotional about it. But that does not mean that you are an emotional person. You should not ever identify with that. You should not identify with any of those things because you can change that identity at any point in time. What's happened is that the event happens and the reaction happens. The event happens and a reaction happens. The event happens and a reaction happens. And hundreds or thousands of times over your life, and what happens is myelin builds up in your brain. And that is what makes the neurotransmitters, like the neurons fire between your neurotransmitters in your brain.

And the more times you do something, the more muscle memory, quote unquote, brain memory that you get, the easier it is for you to go there. So what I'm saying to you is you're crying. You're not an emotional person. You're crying is just a reaction that your brain has done so many times that it is natural, almost natural. It is not natural though. So it's like, for instance, if a fly lands on your face, your natural reaction is to just wipe it away. And you might not even be paying attention. You might be in the middle of a conversation, fly lands on your face, your reaction is to swat it away because you've done it so many times. That is your reaction. But if you study Buddhists and people who meditate,

they say whenever a fly lands on you or whenever those things happen, train yourself just to let it be and just leave it and see if that's a different thing for you. So another example of this, a perfect example of it is somebody had a conversation about being stressed out. I used to have a problem when I would get stressed out that I would have to go away, close all the doors. I couldn't be around anybody because I'm not the type of person that gets loud and yells and overreacts and does those types of things. Whenever I get stressed out, mine is to get away from everybody because I have to have my quiet time. And it's like, I have to put my, I had to at that point in time, put myself into a cave. Lots of people do that. If you've ever read men are from Mars, women are from Venus. men like to go into caves. I realized that sometimes that's not the best reaction

to being stressed out. What's a better reaction to being stressed out, I realized, was to work out. And so anytime I get... I had this happen a couple of weeks ago and we were talking about it in my group coaching. We were talking about on the Facebook Live that we were having about the fact that when I start to get stressed out, I realized that I needed to switch my reaction. So I switched my reaction to whenever I get stressed out, my immediate thing is if I don't have anything to do in the next hour, I don't have anything that can't be moved in the next hour, when I get stressed out, I will immediately drop everything that I do, change into my workout clothes and go straight to the gym. A couple of weeks ago, I had something really stressful happen. And instead of reacting to it or allowing myself to react to it in a

certain way or an emotional way or to freak out or to go into a cave or do any of those things, I realized I've done it so many times. I got stressed out within five minutes. I was in my workout clothes, in my backyard working out. And because it's just, that's my emotional thing where it's like, if I realized that I could choose my reaction, you can choose your reaction. You can choose not to be emotional. You can choose not to react

to the way certain people treat you. You can choose that reaction. It doesn't happen. You let it happen. So for me, I realized that working out would be better because then if I'm stressed out and something is happening, I can get blood to my brain and I can think about the situation. I find that I think best while I'm working out because there's so much blood running and oxygen running through my body that I seem to just think better. And so that's the reaction that I have trained myself like a dog. Like it is a condition. I've conditioned myself to do it. And you can do the same for

anything that you want to as well. So I'll give you an example. Another thing is when fear creeps up into my head. And this is something that I realized I had to share with you guys because I've realized that most people probably don't do this. And I was driving last, let's see, it was last Monday. And I was driving and a fear started to creep up in the back of my head about something. And that fear started to creep up. And I immediately went, nope, it's not going to happen. I'm not going to allow that to happen. I'm going to choose my reaction to this fear. And my reaction was to do like hardcore incantations in my car as I was driving. And an incantation is a affirmation, which is saying

something to yourself, like literally saying something to yourself over and over and over again. But incantation is to do it with like intensity, loud, like screaming, gripping as tight as I possibly can, gripping the steering wheel and just literally doing everything that I possibly can. And the reason why you want to do this is because you're scaring your nervous system. You're making your nervous system react to it. You're making it react. And so what you're doing is you're thinking... So for instance, I'll go back. My example was I had a fear that was coming up into my head and my incantations that I was yelling to myself in my car. I was all by myself. I was yelling to myself and I was gripping the steering wheel. Luckily,

I have tents so people don't think I'm too crazy. But even if they did, I wouldn't care if they saw me. And I was screaming to myself, I will not let fear dictate my life. I will not let fear dictate my life. I will not let fear. And I said it like 150 times on my way home. And I went from feeling fear creeping up into the back of my head to when I got to my house, like I was so fired up. I had to start recording episodes because I was just like, there was, I went from fearful to on fire within just like 10 or 15 minutes of doing this. So it was like, I was, what I'm doing though is by doing these incantations is you're making your nervous system react to make this

thing that you're saying over and over and over again, get stored into your subconscious quicker. That's the point of an incantation. For instance, if you are walking through a forest and there's a tiger that pops up, you know, this two, three, 4,000 years ago, 5,000 years ago, whatever it was, your fight or flight mechanism is going to kick on your head. And whatever happens, your nervous system is now working and it is going to take that information and store it into your subconscious quicker so that you don't come across that anymore. We can hack our brain with incantations to do the exact same thing. So I can scream to myself and use incantation, use my body and use my breath and all of those things to make sure that fear doesn't dictate

my life and to scream it out loud. It's myself. So this is where your life and your mindset really, really get taken to the next level. And this is the type of stuff that I'm really into teaching, um, into my group coaching from now on is when you put yourself in complete control of your life. This is where your mindset really goes to the next level and your life really goes to the next level. And you don't become a slave to your reactions. You become a master of your mind more than anything else. So you don't get, you're not a lazy person. There's no such thing as a lazy person because everybody is naturally lazy. So don't say that you're lazy. Don't identify yourself with that.

Change your state. If you start feeling quote unquote lazy, get up, do some pushups, do something to move your body. Change your state, change your breath, change your body. If you're stressed, do the exact same thing as me. Change your state in some sort of way. Some people go into a cave or they cry or they hide from everyone. But for me, it's just to go to the gym. I learned that that's my natural thing that I want to go to

is because I am more clear-minded after I work out or during the time that I work out. So it works for me the other day when I went into my backyard and I realized that this is just a natural thing. It's so natural for me that my reaction to stress was literally to just go work out. I didn't think about it. I've just started doing it so many times over the past five or 10 years that it's just natural. That's what I do now. So this should be the exact same thing for you. So realize don't identify yourself as a lazy person or a stressed out person or a stupid person or an emotional person because you are not that person. You are allowing yourself to identify with that reaction that you have to an event that happens before it. So I hope that

makes sense to you. This is completely a game changer of taking control of your life and taking control of your mind. And I think that if you use it, you will find that is 100% one of the best things that you could do. And this is actually going to be a lesson that I am soon going to teach much, much, much, much, much more in depth in my group coaching. So I hope this is something that you enjoy. And if you want more information on my group coaching, once again, or my one-on-one coaching, since I forgot about announcing that, because I have the one spot that's left open, send me an email, rob at MWF motivation. But I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode,

make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day. Well, that's it for today's podcast. If you want the show notes for this episode, they can be found at MWF motivation.com. Also, if you liked this episode, please spread the love and share it with a friend because it's our mission to help as many people as we can. And to keep in touch, you can follow us

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