The Mindset Mentor - Mental Masturbation

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Starting point is 00:00:22 so you get the support you need to succeed. National University. Support supporting the whole you. Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you want to receive emails from me every single Monday morning about how to work on your mindset and make it a great week, go ahead and go to mondayemail.com right now. Once again, mondayemail.com right now, and I will start sending you emails every Monday, absolutely free. Today, we're going to be talking about how to stop listening to your limiting beliefs,

Starting point is 00:01:09 how to stop overthinking, and how to actually get shit done and actually start taking action. Lots of people like to take part in something that I call mental masturbation. We all take part in mental masturbation, and I'm going to teach you what that is and how to stop doing it. And that is thinking and thinking and getting so caught up in thoughts and feelings that they do nothing. That you literally do nothing. You stay in the exact same place. That is what mental masturbation is. It is thinking about, thinking about, thinking about thoughts, and then feeling guilty about, feeling guilty about, feeling guilty about, feeling guilty, and digging a hole deeper and deeper and deeper for yourself. And I always say this, this is important for everyone to understand.

Starting point is 00:01:52 You don't want to turn your brain off. Most people are like, oh my gosh, if I could just turn my brain off, it would be amazing. No, no, no, no, no. That's not the way that this works. You can't just turn your brain off. Like you would never go, hey, I just want my heart to stop beating. You don't want your heart to stop beating, right? Why is that? Well, because if your heart stops beating, you're dead. Same thing. You don't want your lungs to stop breathing, right? Because if they do, you're dead. Your heart was meant to beat. Your lungs were meant to breathe. You don't want your brain to stop thinking because that's what it was designed to do. The same way that your heart was designed to beat, same way that your

Starting point is 00:02:29 lungs are designed to breathe, your brain is designed to think. That's what it's designed to do. The problem is not the thoughts. It's not thinking. It's what you are thinking about. That's the problem because you're not going to stop the thinking. I always say, if you were sitting there and I came up to you and you're like, oh my gosh, Rob, I can't stop overthinking all of the amazing things that are happening in my life. It is just so hard for me to, it's just driving me crazy. I'm just so grateful every damn moment of my life. You would never say that. So the issue is not overthinking. The issue is overthinking about the wrong things. Because if you were quote unquote overthinking all of the things to be grateful for, you'd be so blissed out every single day. You wouldn't need to do anything.

Starting point is 00:03:15 And sometimes thinking through things is the best thing that you can do. Sometimes thinking through things is the absolute best thing that you could do. But sometimes thinking through things is the absolute best thing that you could do. But sometimes thinking through things is actually one of the worst things you could do. Thinking through and then continuing to think through can be one of the worst things you can do. And so sometimes it can be superficial to think through things. But the thinking through things I want to be very, very clear of is not something that you should do in your head. And you might be like, well, hold on. How am I supposed to think through things if I can't think through things in my head? What you need to do is you need to think through things outside of your head on a piece of paper. And you've heard me say this before if you listen. The brain is so complex. There's a million things that our brain is thinking about and working

Starting point is 00:04:02 through at every single moment. We have all five senses. And then we've also got the stuff that we think about. Our brain is so incredibly complex. It is an amazing, it is the most amazing piece of machinery that I am aware of on the entire planet. There will never be a computer that is anywhere near as insanely amazing and complex that our brains are. Just my personal belief. Why?

Starting point is 00:04:24 Because nature created it. And nature is always better than any technology that's brains are. Just my personal belief. Why? Because nature created it and nature is always better than any technology that's out there. Nature is the most incredibly complex piece of technology that exists. And so the way that I explain it is this. You would never take a really complex math problem and try to figure it out in your head. The same way that you should never try to take a complex thing that's going on in your life and just try to figure out in your head. The same way that you should never try to take a complex thing that's going on in your life and just try to figure out in your head. What you got to do is you got to get out some pen and paper and you've got to work it out outside of your head, right? So you get out a pen and paper and you try to figure it out in your head. And a lot of times this will help you

Starting point is 00:04:59 out. Like a lot of times to take all of the crap that's going on your head and put it down on a piece of paper, like minimizes, massively minimizes the amount of thinking that you're doing and the overthinking that you're doing. Now, does writing it down on a piece of paper necessarily solve all of your problems? Hell no, absolutely not. Sometimes you've just got to take action and get moving. Sometimes you've just got to take action and get moving. Sometimes you've just got to take action and get going. I once had a guy that joined one of my programs. So I teach coaches how to grow coaching businesses, right? It's something that I've done over the past seven years.

Starting point is 00:05:34 And I've taught thousands of people how to grow coaching businesses. And I once had a guy that joined and he was on one of my Zoom calls. And he's like, man, I'm just trying to build this business. And I have so many limiting beliefs. I just haven't taken any action. But what I think I need to do is I think I need to take the next week and think through all my limiting beliefs. So therefore I can then take action after. And I was like, no, that's not the way that this works. You don't just think through your limiting beliefs. Trying to, trying to think through your limiting beliefs is like trying to

Starting point is 00:06:04 dig through quicksand. You're only going to get more stuck because what happens, your brain, once again, is incredibly complex. It can remember all kinds of memories. And if you sit down and say, I'm going to think about, I'm going to think through my limiting beliefs, I'm going to figure them all out. Guess what happens? If you tell yourself, I'm going to think through my limiting beliefs, you can bring one of your biggest limiting beliefs up. And guess what's going to happen? All of the rest of your limiting beliefs are going to come up. All of the reasons why you're not good enough, all of the reasons why you're not smart enough, all the reasons why you're

Starting point is 00:06:35 going to fail, all of the reasons why you're a screw up, all of the reasons why you're not going to ever succeed, all of those things are going to come to the surface. And all of those things, if I'm being honest with you, are just complete bullshit. And so to sit down and think about them is like trying to dig yourself out of quicksand. It's not going to happen. I mean, have you ever done this before? You're like thinking about something that's wrong. And then out of nowhere, all of the other things that are wrong start coming up in your life. And this thing, oh my God, and this is wrong, and this is wrong. And you sat down thinking about one thing and not feeling great. And now you're thinking about 30 things and you feel like complete shit. We've all done this before. Everybody's done this before in some sort of way, right? So you have to

Starting point is 00:07:13 think about things, you know, when you, I'm sorry, when you think about things, it gives you more things to think about. And so sometimes, I'll give you an example of what I mean. Let me just give you a quick example, okay? Let's say that your limiting belief is around failure. And you're like, you know, let's say this guy that went through my program, he ended up taking action and actually built a really incredible business, which is what's awesome. But I didn't let him think there was a limiting belief. So I was like, throw it down on a piece of paper and then get to it. Just get to work. That's all you got to do. And so, you know, his fear was the fear of failure. His limiting belief was around failure. So if he were to sit down and think about his failure and think

Starting point is 00:07:53 about how he's failed before in the past, what's going to come up? All of his failures, every single little teeny tiny thing that he could have done better. Your brain will find what you give it to search for. Your brain is like mental Google. Your brain will find what you give it to search for. Your brain is like mental Google. Your brain is so ridiculously incredible. I wish people could understand how incredible it is. It's like mental Google. If you sit there and you're like, I'm going to think about this failure, then you're going to start thinking about another failure and another way you messed up and another way you could have done something better. Another way you could have done something different. And we've, I mean, think about it.

Starting point is 00:08:24 I'm 36 years old. I failed so many times in my life. So if I were to sit down and think about the times that I failed in my life, oh my God, another one would come up and another one would come up. And I would remember when I lost, no joke, it's funny, it just popped in my head. When I lost the spelling bee in third grade to a second grader that was named Alexa. I still remember at this point. So I remember her name. I still remember everything. And I lost to her. And I remember being so pissed. So literally just me talking about failure literally clicked up into my head. One of the failures that I've had, I've had so many of them in my life. And to think about

Starting point is 00:08:59 failure and instead of thinking about failure, think about failure, think about failure, our brain is going to project into the future. whatever we think about most. And so my brain is going to project, hey Rob, you're probably going to fail on this next thing. So if you want to sit and think about failures, you're only going to get more failures to think about because that's the task that you're giving your brain. So to sit around and think about limiting beliefs is ridiculous. It's just a reason not to take action. Today's program is brought to you by Athletic Greens, the health and wellness company that makes comprehensive daily nutrition really, really simple. AG1 by Athletic Greens is the category-leading superfood product

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Starting point is 00:12:03 of their thoughts. They're just, their thoughts are debilitating them. by all of their thoughts. Their thoughts are debilitating to them. They're not doing anything. They're not going anywhere and they feel like crap all day long. So they end up just doing nothing and staying on Instagram and a year down the road, their life is exactly the same as it was a year ago. The beautiful thing about taking action, I say this all the time, you don't have to believe in yourself in order to take action. I say this all the time. You don't have to believe in yourself in order to take action. You don't have to believe that you will succeed in order to take action. You don't have to believe that you won't fail in order to take action. Would it help to believe that you would succeed? Sure. It'd be great if you believe in yourself. It would be nice. But is it a requirement? Is it

Starting point is 00:12:41 a prerequisite? No, no, no. Belief is not a prerequisite to taking action. But here's why taking action is important. As long as you're taking the correct action, you're heading in the right direction, you will eventually get there. That's it. That's a fact. As long as you're heading in the right direction and you live long enough, you will eventually get there. Heading in the right direction and you live long enough, you will eventually get there. Heading in the right direction, taking the right action, you will end up where you want to be. So it doesn't matter if you believe in yourself. It doesn't matter if you think it's possible. None of those things matter. Taking the right action is what matters. So I'll give you an example. Let's say that I decide to get in my car and I'm going to drive to Houston. I live in Austin, Texas. Houston is east of me,

Starting point is 00:13:27 right? And I go, you know what? I'm going to go to Houston. All I got to do is just start driving west. And I eventually just got to figure out a way to get onto I-10. My correct action that I need to take is figure out how to go from Austin to I-10. And if I get onto I-10 and I just follow it east, I will eventually drive to Houston. I'll eventually get there. So the direction matters. The action matters. Do I have to believe in myself in order to get to Houston? No, not at all. I just have to take the right direction and the right action. It's crazy to think about this, and I want you to understand this. There are people in this world who are succeeding at what you want to succeed at, and they're less qualified than you. There's people in this world that are succeeding

Starting point is 00:14:18 at what you want to succeed at, and they are, let's speak honestly, dumber than you. Just because they're taking the right action. That's it. Imagine this for a second. Imagine if you could just turn off your prefrontal cortex, which is the main analytical thinking part of your brain. If you had a switch just right here, you could turn it off. And you couldn't think about the problems and the issues and all of this stuff.

Starting point is 00:14:41 And you're just like, all right, you're basically like a robot. I'm going to take action. I'm going to take action. I'm going to take action. I'm going to take action. Eventually, you will succeed. Now, we don't have that little switch on the side of our brain to turn off our prefrontal cortex, but we can still go, oh, here's my fears. Fuck them. I'm going to keep going. Oh, here's my limited beliefs. Screw it. I'm just going to keep going. Oh, here it is. I don't feel like I'm good enough. I'm just going to keep going. You can still take action even if you have fears. In fact, every single person in this world has some sort of fear and limiting belief from the

Starting point is 00:15:10 least successful person that you know to the most successful person that you know and the most successful person on this earth. Every single one of them have fears, limiting beliefs. They don't think they're good enough in some sort of way. The difference is successful people don't listen to that and non-successful people do listen to it. So what's the right action for you to take right now? If you're looking at where you want to go, what is the right action for you to take? How can you get yourself out of your mind and take action? Because it's not that you don't know what to do. Everyone listening to me, 99% of you know exactly what it is that you need to do to get to where you want to go, but you're just not doing it. Why is that? Why is that? Why are you not doing it when you know

Starting point is 00:15:55 what you need to do? Because you're sitting around thinking about it too much. You're thinking and moping and getting stuck in your feelings, getting stuck in your thoughts, and I don't know if I'm good enough, and I don't know if I'm smart enough. You know, you've got the fear of rejection. What if people reject me? What if they say no to me when I, what if she says no to me when I ask her out? What if they say no to me when I give them this business proposal? What if I try to make a sale and they say, no, I'm afraid of rejection. I'm afraid of failure. What if I fail? What if I screw up? What if, what if other people give me their opinions? You know, I've got this fear of other people's if other people give me their opinions? I've got this fear of other people's opinions and what they think about me. I've got this fear of running out of

Starting point is 00:16:28 money and not being good enough and being worthless and being unlovable. And I've got this fear of letting people down. I've got this fear of not being smart enough and people not accepting me. There's so many fears. You could give yourself fear after fear, after fear, after fear, after fear, after fear, but eventually you got to stop thinking and you got to start moving. There's no one in this world that's going to come save you. You have to save yourself. Stop thinking. Start moving. If you're heading in the right direction and you're taking the right action, eventually you will be where you need to be. Stop fucking thinking and just start moving. It's that simple. Life is not hard. It is very simple. It's very black and white. You either get what you want in life or you don't get what you want in life. But the actions that you take

Starting point is 00:17:09 will dictate whether you get what you want in life or you don't get what you want in life. The way that you think about your fears and your limiting beliefs and all those things don't matter. They're going to be there. They're always going to be there. They're never going to disappear. There's nothing to overcome because it's all fake. You all made it up in the first place. You have to realize that. So take a step back. Really start to think about what you're trying to do in your life, what you want in your life, and then ask yourself the question.

Starting point is 00:17:31 Take out a pen and paper and say, what direction do I need to go? What do I need to go? What direction do I need to go? What's the next best step? What is the next best step for me to take to head in that direction? Same way that if I go, okay, what's the next best step for me to take if I'm trying to drive to Houston?

Starting point is 00:17:48 Step number one, get in the car. Oh, that's pretty cool. Step number two, turn the car on. Step number three, start driving the car east. Step number four, figure out a way to get onto I-10. Step number five, just keep traveling that direction because I-10 runs straight through Houston, right? So you have to ask yourself, what's the best direction? What direction do I want to go in? And what's the next best step that I can take right now? It's time to stop all of this

Starting point is 00:18:14 mental masturbation and think that by thinking about and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking that it's eventually going to get you to where you want to go. It's not. You eventually got to get to the point where you're like, screw it. I'm just going to take action. And what happens is when you start taking action, you start building more confidence. You start building more confidence and you start building more confidence and your fears and your limiting beliefs start to get quieter. They don't disappear. They get quieter and they get quieter and they get quieter and they get quieter. And eventually it's way easier to take action than it was before because your fears, they're not popping up as much. Your limiting beliefs are not popping up as much. So you've got to stop the mental masturbation and just figure out a way to start taking action because that is what's

Starting point is 00:18:54 going to silence or at least turn down your fears and your limiting beliefs that are holding you back and also all of your overthinking. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor, share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. Also, please do me a favor, take your phone out right now. It'll take you 15 to 30 seconds. Go to iTunes, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, however you listen to this podcast and give us a rating and review. This is the least that if you could just do this one little teeny tiny thing, it would help me more than you possibly understand. The more positive reviews that we get, the more that these platforms show this to people who don't listen to me. And so what's cool about

Starting point is 00:19:35 it is I don't have any huge company that's backing me. I don't have ABC or Fox News or, you know, CNN or Vice or any of these companies that are putting money behind this podcast. The only way it grows is from you guys sharing it and from you guys giving us ratings and reviews that end up helping us be seen more organically. So if you could do that, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day. We see you. You're a colleague. You're a partner.

Starting point is 00:20:14 You're a friend. You're always here to support your family and your community. Now there's a school ready to support you. National University offers tuition discounts for military spouses and free tutoring, so you get the support you need to succeed. National University. Supporting the whole you.

The Mindset Mentor - Mental Masturbation

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