The Mindset Mentor - Motivation Sucks!

Episode Date: January 22, 2021

Everyone wants to learn how to be more motivated, but I am here to tell you that motivation is not what you need in your life! What is it that you need more of in your life instead of motivation? I'll teach you in today's episode!Watch my inspirational videos on YouTube here: https://youtube.com/robdialjr Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button since you never miss another podcast episode from me. And if you want to receive motivational text messages directly to your cell phone, text messages directly to your cell phone. Text me right now, 1-512-580-9305. Once again, 1-512-580-9305. Today, we're going to be talking about why motivation sucks. Let's dive in. One thing, and I hate, I'm categorized as a motivational speaker. I hate being categorized as a motivational speaker because I think motivation sucks. Now, is it necessary? Is it needed? Yes. Is it built up too much? Absolutely. A hundred percent. Let me tell you why. So often I get messages from people like, sir, I'm not motivated. Help me become more motivated. What do I need to do to be more

motivated? How can I be more motivated to create the life that I want to? I get that message probably on Instagram and Facebook 20 times a day between the two of them. And my answer is always the same. So I'm just going to start sending this podcast episode probably. Motivation sucks. You're not searching for motivation. What you're searching for is drive. So let me explain. Now, Jim Rohn, who's basically the godfather of personal development and motivation, says that motivation is like a shower. We recommend that you do both every single day. The same way that you should shower every single day, you should become motivated every single day. What do I mean by become motivated? Well, read a book that inspires you. Listen to a podcast that inspires you and motivates you.

Listen to somebody on YouTube and watch some YouTube talks that are going to give you motivation. What I'm saying to you is you have to get motivation. Motivation is like a spark. So if I'm trying to start a fire, motivation can start that fire, but it doesn't keep the fire going. The spark will start it, but it won't keep the fire going. How do you keep the fire going? Drive. So if we're saying that motivation is a spark, then drive, drive, that's like the big dry log that you put on and it burns the entire night. You've done it before. You've gone camping, right? And you put that one big ass log and it takes a while to get started and it gets going.

And you wake up the next morning, you're like, oh my gosh, this thing is still kind of like burning from the inside. That's what you're trying to create in your life. You're not trying to create motivation. You need motivation, but motivation is nothing compared to drive. Nothing compared to drive. Drive keeps you going. Motivation just kind of gets you off the couch a little bit. So what's the difference between the two of them? Well, if somebody's motivated, you can be motivated for 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, but a driven person, you know a driven person when you see a driven person.

You know what I'm talking about. You can see it in their eyes. They're almost a little bit crazy in their eyes, right? You can hear it in their voice. There's just a little bit extra. There's that passion. There's that drive where it's like, you get the sense by looking in their eyes, by hearing them talk, by seeing their body language, that nothing will stop them from what they're trying to get to. That is what you're searching for in this world. You're not searching for the spark. You're searching for the log, the drive, the thing that keeps you going no matter what.

You know, if you think of, you know, if you think of movies where a woman who's a mother has her children stolen, right? And you can tell that she's either going to find her children or she's going to die trying to find her children. That is drive. She is driven to this one thing. And it's almost like she doesn't even have to work towards it. With drive, you don't have to work towards it.

You're almost being, you're not forcing yourself to do it. You're being pulled towards that thing. So motivation is like, oh, I got to get my ass moving. I got to force myself. And it's force, force, force, force. Drive is like, I'm being pulled to this thing that I want and nothing is going to stop me. I'm either going to get it or I'm going to try. I'm going to die trying to get that thing. That is the difference between drive and motivation. So what you're searching for is drive, something to be driven by. So now the immediate question that comes up is how do you find that why? How do you become so driven? You have to figure out exactly what your why is behind it. So it's beautiful to have goals. Everybody should have

goals, but very few people hit their goals. Why? Because their goals are just things they're shooting for. What they don't have behind the goal is why they're trying to get to that goal. That is the most important part. My very first mentor when I was 19 years old used to say, if the why is strong enough, the how will reveal itself. Let me say that again. If the why behind what it is that you're trying to do is strong enough, the how will reveal itself. Let me say that again. If the why behind what it is you're trying to do is strong enough, the how, how you're going to do it will reveal itself. When someone's driven, they don't care about the why. They don't care about the process. If you're a process-driven person, it's really hard for you to start because you're thinking about all of the

things that you need to do before you start. you're not driven towards it. When you're driven towards something, you don't give a damn about the process. You'll figure it out along the way. You're going to get there or you're going to die trying. That's the difference between the two. And that's why it's so important to have the strong why. So let's talk about how to find your why. Because if you're trying to become driven, how do you become driven? You get your why behind what it is that you're doing. So how do you find your why? You have to look at your goals. You have to say, why do I want this? Why do I want this? Why do I want this? There's a process called the seven levels of why, where you go through and ask yourself why, why, why, why, why? And you get deeper and deeper and deeper into why it is that

you're searching for what you're searching for, why you're trying to get to whatever it is that you're trying to get to, and you figure it out. I'll give you a couple of examples of people who I can tell you their goal right now, and then I can tell you their why. And you can see how somebody can go from I'm motivated to do this to I'm driven to do this. So years and years ago, one of my very first coaching clients that I had, his goal, he wanted to make $100,000 for the year. I was like, cool, that's great. Why do you want to make that $100,000? He's like, oh, well, I want to make $100,000 because I've never made $100,000 before. I was like, cool. Why? Why do you want to get it though? Oh, I want to get it because I think it helped me with my financial stability. It'd be nice to be out of debt. Okay. Why? Tell

me why you want to make that money. And I kept going, why, why, why, why, why, why? He's like, well, I want to be able to provide my family. Okay. Why? Well, because I've never been able to provide for my family. Why? And you go deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper. And it went from, I want to make a hundred thousand dollars this year to, I want to make a hundred thousand dollars this year. We started uncovering all of the things of the real reasons why he's going towards what he's going for. And what we were able to uncover is amazing. And this is what it is. He wanted to make $100,000 when we first started because he had never done it before. Then it turned into, he wanted to make $100,000 because he did not have custody of his children.

He was divorced and he wanted custody of his children, but he didn't make enough money to have custody of his children. So his children lived with his ex-wife and lived in a bad part of town. And living in a bad part of town, he actually was able to uncover this subconscious fear under everything, realizing that his biggest fear was that his daughter would be pregnant by 13

and his son would be killed in a drive-by if he kept them in the place that he was in living with his ex-wife because she didn't live in a good part of town. So now it went from, I want to make $100,000 a year to I have to make $100,000 this year because I want to basically save my daughter and my son's lives. I need to get them out of where they are. I need to be able to afford a house, a down payment on a house in a better part of town and regain custody of my children because I want to make sure that I change their lives. Because if they stay where they are, even if she doesn't get pregnant, even if he doesn't die, he knew that what part of town they

were in, their lives would be completely different if he were able to take them out of that part of town and put them in a better part of town, get them a better education, get them to get into college, send them to college. His making $100,000, he realized could completely change the trajectory of his children's life. Do you think he became motivated and driven at that point? Hell yeah. It wasn't like, oh, I got to motivate myself to get up at five o'clock in the morning anymore. It was, he was up at five o'clock in the morning because his children's lives depended on it. That is what drive looks like. That is what finding your why behind the goal looks like. Hey everyone, a question that I get asked pretty often is where

did I do my plant medicine ceremonies? And that place is called Rhythmia in Costa Rica. Rhythmia focuses on life transformation, infusing ancient wisdom, healing modalities, and of course there's plant medicine. And people always ask me to recommend places for them to transform and to do plant medicine. And I can only recommend a place that I've been to, which is Rhythmia because I love it. I took my mom down there and I feel like it's a little piece of heaven on earth. And in the five years that they've been open, 97.55% of their guests report that the week that they spent at Rhythmia changed their lives. And I can say that it changed mine. I've sent 10 other people down there that I'm close to, and every one of them said it was life-changing for them as well. And Rhythmia has helped over 7,500 people experience life-changing miracles. So awaken your miracle, call to book your stay. Now that's Rhythmia R Y T H M I A.link slash dial.

Let me give you another example. Uh, if you go way back, probably about five years, I interviewed Jeff Hoffman on this podcast and Jeff Hoffman is the founder. He's a billionaire. He founded priceline.com. And we were talking about how he motivated his, in his first company where he became a millionaire, how he motivated his salespeople. We were talking about the psychology of motivating people, how to get people driven, all of this stuff. And he had somebody who came into his office as one of his sales reps, and he would do this every single year. He'd say, hey, what's your goal for the year? And they start talking about it. This guy sat down and he wanted to make $100,000 for the year because that's usually most people's

goal if they've never done it. He wanted to make $100,000 for the year. He said, okay, why do you want to make $100,000? And went deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper. And what he ended up coming down to was that he wanted, he lived in New York at the time, but he was from Florida and his mom had lived in an apartment her entire life. So his mom immigrated from Puerto Rico. She came over from Puerto Rico and gave him and his mom had lived in an apartment her entire life. So his mom immigrated from Puerto Rico. She came over from Puerto Rico and gave him and his sister a better life. But she lived, her dream her entire life was to just have a house in America. And so she lived in apartments his entire life. And now this guy that's sitting down, Jeff Hoffman, he lives in New York and he goes,

I want to make a hundred thousand dollars. And he goes, why, why, why, why, why, why? They get really deep into it. And he ends up finding out the reason why he wants to make the $100,000 is because he wants to get his mom a house in Florida. And so Jeff said, perfect. What I want you to do. And this is a lesson not only for yourself, but if you're a leader, this is something you should be doing with all of the people who you lead. Figuring out why they are there, why their goals are their goals. You should know this. That's what a true leader should do at all times if you're a leader. So what he said to him is he goes, okay, so what I want you to do, I want you to go and find that perfect house for your mom, that house that you want to get her in Florida. And I want you to come back here with a printed out picture

of that house and come back by the end of the day. So he comes back at the end of the day and he says, Jeff, this is a picture of the house. And he shows him that house. And he said, okay, perfect. Let's go back to your desk. So he goes back to his desk and puts on his cubicle, pins it up, the picture of the house. And so he said, every time that he walked by, he didn't have to say, hey, John, let's say the guy's name is John. Hey, John, how are you doing today? How much money you made today? How much closer are you to $100,000? He would go up to him and he would say, John, how much closer are you to getting that house for your mom? Because that is what would truly drive him. It wasn't just the $100,000. Of course, that will drive people. You can be driven to make money, but the drive is to find out the why behind the reason. What is that money going to do

for you, for your family, for the people around you? You have to realize that one of the important things to do is if you're searching for your why, is maybe see that your why might not even be attached to you in any sort of way. Maybe your why as to why you want to hit your goal, your why is why you want to succeed or whatever it is that you want. Maybe your why has nothing to do with you. Maybe it has something to do with someone outside of you. And a lot of times where you really get your drive from is for other people, right? So if you were to say, hey, these are my goals right now, I'd say, okay, tell me how these goals are going to affect your children. Tell me how you hitting this goal is going to affect your child's life. Tell me how you not hitting this goal is going to affect your child's life. And I'm going to fast forward the next year or two years with you and see what it would look like

if you hit that goal or see what it would look like if you didn't hit that goal and see what your children's life would look like if you hit that goal. See what your children's life would look like if you didn't hit that goal. Right? Now you might be out there saying, yeah, that's great and all, but I don't have any kids. Okay. Well, is there some way that you can figure out what your purpose is and attach it to someone outside of you? If you were to make the money that you want to, how would that affect the world? How would that affect your parents' lives? Would you be able to buy them a house that you want to? Would you be able to buy them the car that you want to? Would you be able to retire your parents? Would you be able to be financially secure so that no one in your family ever has to worry about money again? Would you be happier,

which would make everybody else happier? How can you take the goals that you have on a piece of paper and figure out how those goals will drive you? What behind that goal, the why, will drive you to go and hit it? Because of course, you can always set a goal by just saying, hey, this is my goal. And you can try to motivate yourself. And you can wake up early and listen to this podcast and other people's podcasts. You can watch videos. You can read books. You can get mentorship. But ultimately, what you're really searching for is not the motivation to do something. What you're searching for is the pure drive and obsession of I will not fail. I'm going to get this no matter what. There is no other option. I'm burning the boats. There is no plan B because it distracts from plan A. This is what I'm going to do and absolutely nothing is going

to hold me back from it. That's what you're searching for. So you're going to be finding out your goals. Then you're going to find out your why behind the goal That's what you're searching for. So you're going to be finding out your goals. Then you're going to find out your why behind the goal. And what you're going to try to do is if you aren't motivated by the why that you find, ask yourself, is there something outside of you that you could attach it to? Is there somebody outside of you that you could attach it to? If you don't have any kids, you don't have any close family members, how would you hitting your goal impact the world, impact your community, impact the people around you? What would you be able to do? Maybe if you had enough money, be able to donate more money, donate more time, help the people around you, put more time into the food banks, or maybe be able to donate more

food to the food banks, something. There's always something back there, but the difference is you have to find the purpose of what you're working towards. I always say, people hear me say it all the time, and I coach, I teach coaches how to grow businesses. And I always say, you got to find your purpose as to why you're a coach, because you're either on self or on purpose. On self means that you're thinking about yourself. On purpose means that you're thinking about the purpose as to why you're going for what you're going for. So you might say, I don't, but, but Rob, I don't know what my purpose is. That's the problem. If you've been listening to my podcast long enough, I always say this. It's okay not to know what your purpose is.

That's okay. But it's not okay to not be in constant search for your purpose if you don't know what it is at this point. It's okay not to know what your purpose is, but it's not okay to not be in constant search for that purpose. Your job is to find your purpose. If you don't know what your purpose on earth is, your job is to find out what your purpose is. And it's usually right under your nose. Usually, it's so obvious that you miss it. But if you don't know what it is, here's what you do. Wake up every single day. Ask God, the universe, source, whatever it is that you do you don't know what it is, here's what you do. Wake up every single day. Ask God, the universe, source, whatever it is that you do or don't believe in, just say, I want to know my purpose and say it every single day. Today, I want to find my purpose. Today,

I want to find my purpose. Today, I want to find my purpose. Can you please tell me what my purpose is? Say it over and over and over and over and over again. You might not find your purpose tomorrow. You might not find your purpose in a week, two weeks, three weeks, six months, a year, two years. You might find it two years down the road. You might have to ask yourself five, six, 700 times, I wanna know what my purpose is. Can you please show me my purpose? But if you ask yourself over and over and over

and over and over again, I guarantee at some point in time, your purpose will come through. You will find what it is. But if you're not looking for it, you're not going to find it. So motivation is good. But compared to drive, motivation sucks. If you want to be pulled towards your goals,

if you want to be pulled towards the best version of yourself, if you want to be pulled towards doing something amazing in this world, you're searching for drive. You're searching for something that you can put all of your eggs in one basket for. You're searching for that thing that you go, yep, this is the reason why I'm breathing and I am willing to die for that thing. And when you find that, everybody better get out of the way because there's absolutely no stopping you when you find what that thing is. So motivation sucks compared to drive. Drive is what you're searching for. Find your purpose and you'll find what to be driven towards.

So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. We only get the message out when you guys help spread the message. So I appreciate you guys for always sharing. Hundreds of people share every single episode. So I absolutely appreciate you for it. And I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single

episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.