The Mindset Mentor - My Girlfriend Asks Me Your Questions!

Episode Date: July 29, 2020

First the first time in 800 episodes, my girlfriend Lauren, joins the podcast! We sit down and answer questions that you guys sent in.Follow me on Instagram @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. Today is a special episode because I'm joined by my amazing girlfriend, Lauren, who is going to actually be interviewing me with your guys' questions. So if you follow me on Instagram or you follow me on Facebook, I put up a post a few days ago and said, Hey, if you could ask me any questions, what questions would those be? And then I, uh, I was going to answer them. And then I asked Lauren if she wants to ask me and have a conversation about it. So, uh, here she is. So welcome to the very 800 episodes until you finally got onto the podcast.

Yeah. How does that feel? Good. I can't believe it's taken me this long. Well, it wasn't something you would have been into, I don't think, too long ago. I feel like it's something that you've started to get interested in. Yeah. I guess just more open to it. I never really just even thought about it before. Yeah. So I'm excited because you're going to ask their questions and I'm going to ask for your feedback as well. So it's not just going to be me speaking. So should we just dive in? Yeah, let's do it. Okay. So ask me whichever questions you want and then let's dive in. All right. So should I say the name of the person? Should we call

them out or not? I mean, if you could pronounce it. I mean, there's no calling out. They're asking a question. So I don't think it's's not it's not like we're saying something bad about them okay i'm gonna say this first name i think it's corinne and she wants to know how to find friends that are supportive or aspiring for growth often we get advice to cut off friends who bring us down but no one tells you where to find like-minded people with whom you can grow together that's good So I would say over the past few years, our friend group has changed quite a bit, right? I think so. From when we first started dating, it's actually a lot different because we don't really party like we used to. We're kind of like an old couple. So we don't party. We don't drink a whole lot. We don't eat meat. We don't eat gluten. I mean,

alcohol, gluten and meat pretty much cut out almost everything you could do in Austin. And then COVID cuts out all of the rest of it. So, so, um, the first thing that I would say is, is meetup.com helps a lot. Um, and then find meetup.com is to find anything that you have interest in volleyball. If you want to see if there's any people that are in your city that play volleyball or, you know, backgammon, if you want to play cards with people, if you want to sell stuff on the internet, there's always a group of people in your city, if it's a decent sized city, that have a meetup. So if you go to meetup.com,

I think you have to sign up as a member. I'm pretty sure it's free though. And you go to meetup.com, you sign up with them and then put in whatever it is and start going to networking events. You and I both hate networking events, but we've still forced ourself to go to them because you meet some pretty good people. You meet a lot of really weird people as well that just want to hand you the business cards

and they want to get business from you for something. But I would say a lot of our friends, if you think about people we could go down the line, a lot of them came from me going to a lot of networking events, meeting people and meeting people and meeting people, and then having coffee and having coffee and having coffee with a whole bunch of people. And eventually you find four or five people that are awesome. You hang out with them and then they have friends that are awesome as well. Yeah. I would say that's probably the easiest way to do it. Um, what's your opinion of what, you know, how have you met people or how have you seen me meet people? Um, since, you know, starting the podcast five years ago, because our friends

group has changed from people who used to party a lot to now people who are quite spiritual and also successful entrepreneurs at the same time. So what is your advice in there? You know, I think that part of this, and it like might be cliche, but they talk about like, you need to be who you want to meet. So if you're fully become the person that you essentially want to attract, that's helpful because you're just going to naturally start to attract the people that you want to be with, and it just happens naturally too. I mean, you do need to put yourself out there, obviously, because you're not going to just meet anybody naturally sitting at home,

which I know right now it's kind of hard. But, I mean, you know, when we can get out there, and even like you said, having those conversations online and stuff, I think putting yourself out there is important. You have to network. Yeah. It's not fun. It's pretty awkward.

And you're more of an extrovert than I am. Lauren's definitely more of an extrovert than I am. I prefer to just hang out at home a lot. She likes to get out a little bit more, but you know, you got to force yourself to go out and meet people. Um, cause in reality, it's not, it's, it's the, the old cliches are usually cliches because they're true for a reason. And that cliche is, it's not what you know, it's who you know is a hundred percent true. If we think about a lot of places that we went and people we've hung out with and things that we've gotten or stuff we may have gotten opportunities to, it was always because we knew somebody. And so if it's worth it

to you to change your network, you're going to have to get your ass up and start finding people. Yeah. I learned that in college, I think, because this is going to make me sound like a sorority girl, but I mean, I was was and one part of the reason why I joined it was because of the value in meeting people and in college that was a great opportunity to meet people and make connections I got some of my first jobs because of my sorority sisters and the people that we knew so I figured that out right out the gates that you just need to put yourself out there and meet people. 100%. There's no secret to it.

No. Cool. What else we got? All right. So the next question is, what would your best advice be to somebody who wants to quit their job and follow their passion? What do you think my advice would be, Lauren? You've heard me say this a lot. You've heard me talk about this much more than the average person. Just do it. That's exactly what I was going to say. Just do it. Jump. Just make the jump. Like you'll figure it out as you go, but definitely don't waste, don't waste your time. I would say, I would say close. Just do it was, was exactly what I was

thinking. But before you do it, make sure you have enough money because I've, yeah, just do it was, was exactly what I was thinking. Uh, but before you do it, make sure you have enough money, uh, because I've, my, yeah, right. You need to live. My most viral video that I have is called why you should quit your, why your job's a waste of your life. And it talks about why, if you hate your job, you should quit it. But, um, but one of the things that I think people really need to realize is don't just quit it tomorrow, unless you are financially able to pay your bills because you're not going to make a whole lot of money in the next three months of a brand new business. It takes time, three months, six months, a year sometimes to make money in a business,

depending on what that business is. But you don't want to quit your job where you are stable at least and then go and do something and be stressed out about money right away. So what I would recommend is quit your job when you feel like you have a certain amount saved up. So you might say, when I get to $10,000 saved, I'll do it. And I need to get to $10,000 by the end of this year. Like set an actual money goal, set a deadline of when it's going to happen and then leave in that time. So don't just say, I want to leave my job when I get to $10,, $10,000. No, like give yourself a deadline of when you're going to leave the job that you don't want to be at anymore so that you can leave. But also what I would say is, you know, figure out exactly what it is that you want to do. And whenever you come home, put every ounce of energy into it. So you can work from nine to five,

you know, and then from, you know, six o'clock to 11 o'clock, you can literally just go at it. And if you have kids, maybe put the kids about at 830 and from 830 until 1am, you're working on your, your side business. And I would say either when you have enough money saved or when your side business is paying your bills is able to pay your bills. If your bills are 3000 bucks and you're making $3,000 a month and you feel comfortable, well, now you can go ahead and leave because that 40 or 50 hours you're spending at work. Imagine if you put that into your new job. Um, so you know how much I hate the rat race and you know how much I hate normal society and the stuff that we've been taught. So what is, what is, I'm curious with you, what is your perception of my perspective of what I say to people and the way that I live my life, but also the way that I talk to people?

We have friends that I want to quit my job and I want to do this. So what is your, your perspective of my perception? Your perception of my perspective, I think is what I said, you know, what I say to people and advice maybe I've given before too. I think it's obviously shifted. This has been a bigger message that you've shared after I took that leap. So it always resonated with me because I knew that you just have to make that jump and commit to it. Before that though, it would have seemed like completely out there. And, you know, I was in a place where I felt like I had worked really hard to be where I was in my

career. And so leaving that behind felt like I was truly leaving something, a part of me behind that I'd worked so hard for it. But now that I'm on the other side of it it um was just part of my journey and it was totally necessary for me to have all of those jobs and meet all those people and all those opportunities uh but I think it's a great perspective because as much as I appreciate all those experiences I would never turn back right because I've gained so much as an individual and I've learned so much and have so much more confidence and I mean just the personal growth that I've gotten from making that jump was huge and then so to be clear you used to work for a company up until three years ago right when we decided we want to go travel So you worked for a social media company and you worked for some, you know, helped with marketing, but then you also worked for, you know, uh, yeah,

you worked basically agencies and stuff like that, advertising agencies. And, you know, by the time that you had left, you were making $65,000 a year as single woman, which is a lot of money to the average person in America. That's, you know, the average dual income house makes about $60,000 in America. So you were making more than that. Obviously taxes were then taken out of it. Yeah. And leaving scared the crap out of you. Oh, for sure. But you had to, if we were going to go travel the world for six months is what we did. Yeah. Which was setting that deadline and like that goal, like it had to be done. Right. And I helped push in that. Yeah. A lot, which is good. Um, yeah, I needed that push, but it was exactly what I needed.

It was great. And I like literally would never turn around now. Right. Like you could never go back to working. No, I have nightmares. I literally was telling a friend this other night, I have like nightmares that somebody tells me I have to go and sit in an office really and it's horrible i just couldn't no there's no way there's no way you can once you it's it's like i told you once you get outside of the bubble of working for someone else you're like i can never do that again and here's the thing you're making way more than you were right now oh yeah working for yourself traveling you know we're about to leave two days from now to go to Florida for a month. That would have never been an opportunity in the

past. And you make more money doing it, which is what's awesome. But you have to get to the point where you're just like, it's, you got to burn the ships. You just have to do it. There's no other option. A lot of people too were like, you know, if I could just match my salary, that would be great. And I remember thinking the same thing, you know, if I'm able to at least just match my salary, I'll be happy. And the amount of time it took me, I mean, I matched my salary within a year. And that was while we were also traveling, you know, all around the world, um, for six months of that, you know, so if I would have cut out the six months of traveling and been literally just heads down, I could have for sure matched my salary in less time than that. And then after that, it just grew exponentially, not, you know, waiting for anybody to give me a

raise or any of that stuff. It was just purely because I decided I wanted to make more money. How did I need to pivot? What did I need to do on my own? So yeah. Love it. You can never go back. What else we got? So the moral of the story to answer it is just do it. Figure out a way to make it happen. Give yourself a deadline. Figure out how much money you need to be making or how much money you need to have saved. Just do it. Yep. Hey everybody, real quick. I wanted to tell you about this amazing online community that I'm a part of. It's the Ultimate Knowledge Hub from The Hustle, and it's called Trends. Trends will give you a network of people and information that

you need to succeed. Trends gives me access to a community of industry leaders in virtually every field where I'm able to learn on how to capitalize on emerging opportunities. And Trends is a place where you can workshop your ideas and network with other successful entrepreneurs and investors. And I'm enjoying Trends so much right now, I wanted to share it with you. Right now, you can get your first two weeks for just $1. All you got to do is go to trends.co slash dial to start your $1 two-week trial. So that's trends, T-R-E-N-D-S dot C-O slash D-I-A-L for your $1 two-week trial, trends.co slash dial. All right, let's get you back to the show right now. All right, so what would you say to a 20 year old college student looking to become self-dependent for income and fulfillment? Drop out of college. Just kidding. Kind of depends on what you do.

Drop out of college or don't drop out of college. If it's a specialized thing, then don't drop out of college. If it's something like business administration, which is what I was doing, just drop out and do something that has to do with business is what I would say. Um, but I would say the other thing that I would say is work for Cutco because Cutco really helped me out at 20 years old as well. Uh, because I was making more selling knives than my teachers were, they were teaching me, uh, which was a cool thing. And that was my first experience of being entrepreneur because I was able to run my office. I was able to be in charge of my income. It was basically 100% commission. So I was in charge of how much money I made.

But I went from delivering pizzas to people's houses and making like $17,000 a year to within 18 months making $177,000 working for them. So it could be Cutco. It could be selling solar. It could be something. Any form of sales is what I would recommend. If somebody can get into sales, there's a reason why they say salespeople are never out of a job

is because every company always needs a great salesperson. So if somebody can get really good at sales at 20 years old, they're set. I would also say that starting your own business sales is absolutely 100% necessary. So it's the foundation of your own business. You know, even for you, you're not really like picking up the phone and cold calling people or anything like that. But there are sales tactics that are when you're presenting a quote to somebody that you have to go over. So at 20 years old, I would say if you're going to, if you, if you're passionate about what you're doing, staying in school, if you're trying to figure out what you're

doing, I am of the belief that school is not the place to figure it out. I think the real world is the place to figure it out. A lot of people are like, Oh yeah, go to college and figure it out. Bullshit. Take that exact amount of money and go to every single conference that you possibly can for a year that interests you pay half the amount of money, meet people who are making $500,000 a year selling widgets online. And you're like, fuck college. I could sell widgets online and make 10 times the amount of the average American,

whatever it is. Go to a conference that interests you. Meet people who are in that industry. That's where I would want to meet people. I wouldn't want to go and meet other people who are also broke college students like myself, right? So if I were to go back at 20 years old, I would still sell Cutco, which is, you know, I sold knives in people's houses. What I would do is I actually would have dropped out of college

sooner and taken all the money that I was putting into college. And I would have gone to as many events as possible. I would have gone to, you know, online events. I would have gone to sales events. I would have gone to, you know, music events, events, not music, like go and see someone perform live, but go and figure out the music industry and meet people who work for Fender or Gibson and all of those and figure out what I wanted to do. Um, cause once again, it goes back to who, you know, not what you know. And if you know a lot of people that are in those industries and you meet somebody at 20 years old, that's 35 years old and making a quarter million dollars a year selling widgets online, and they want to mentor you just because they like you and they see

something in you, you're going to be 10 times more successful, 10 times faster. So that would be my quick tip. What about you? What would you say? Well, the second part to that was not just income, but fulfillment. So that I think kind of also can, you know, what if sales isn't fulfilling for them? Sales is not easy. Sales sucks. That's why it pays a lot. So that's the first thing. I don't know if it's fulfilling, but it does teach you a lot.

Teach you a lot about communication, teaches you a lot about persuasion, teaches you a lot about, you know, how to run a business. Cause if essentially if you're a salesperson, you're a business running your own business inside of a business. Um, but going to fulfillment, yeah, you should be doing something that you want to do, you know? And there's a lot of people that go to college because their parents tell them they should go to college and they're in a degree, you know, trying to get a degree that they don't even truly want because one of two things, a lot of times, number one, they know they can make a lot of money doing it. And if you ever just go after money, you're not going to love what you do. Or number two, their parents are telling them that they should do that. Right.

And so if you are in that situation, I would say it's better off that you figure out what you're actually passionate about. Take a year off if you need to. Like my mom said something to me when she basically helped me drop out of college. She kind of talked me into it. She goes, well, school is always going to be there. Like you can go back next year if you want. And I was like, yeah, you're right. So let me drop out. My mom helped me drop out, you know, which was kind of one of the cool things, but she said, school will always be there. You can always go back. And so if you take a year off and just discover who you are or save up and go travel, you know, a lot of people figure out what they want to do when they're traveling. You know, I would have never moved to Austin had I never gone

and traveled, you know, quit my job, backpacked for three months, gone around the world and then come here and then meet people that kind of sparked the idea of, oh, I should do some stuff online. You know, so it's kind of like the dots connected because of all of that. So maybe traveling is part of it. Do something that you truly want to do. Figure out how to edit videos and put them on YouTube. Make a podcast. Just start trying things. I think that's it. Right. Just try things. If you don't know what brings you fulfillment. A hundred percent. But you probably do know. You might just think that you can't make money doing it right right but right and people make money in the craziest ways i mean i make money in a crazy way if you

think about it right like when i first started this podcast would you ever have thought it got to this point well yeah really when i was when i was when i was inside of my room rented I started this podcast in my bedroom rented in a bedroom of a room that I rented from my friend inside of his house yeah with this microphone and now I just have another one so you're using it so you thought that you you thought that it could have been to this point I thought it was possible did I think it was 100% for sure going to happen I mean I don't think that I really had any expectations around it I I think it was 100% for sure going to happen? I mean, I don't think that I really had any expectations around it. I just knew it was something you wanted to do. So I was like, yeah, go for it. But you know, I'm not surprised, you know, just because I guess for me, like I've seen

how hard you've worked for so long and, um, you know, I've seen the dedication and so it's not surprising to me at all yeah well thanks all right are we moving on to the next yeah let's see what else we got all right so what are some other personal development podcasts you remember you recommend uh lauren what's what's the only other podcast that i ever listened to joe rogan well we listen to joe rogan sometimes but what do i listen to my answer because that's my favorite podcast we listen to joe rogan clips we don't actually listen to his entire whole thing what do i listen to uh ram das that's it yeah so so give everybody the the breakdown of how our morning usually goes. At least the first.

When you come to, I usually wake up first. You come downstairs. You have Toby in your hands because Toby sleeps next to you. Yeah. So Toby and I come downstairs to find you listening to Ram Dass already. You lay out the blanket to camouflage your lap so that Toby doesn't think that you're you, but you're just like a nice little fluffy bed because otherwise he won't lay with you. Tea.

And just listening to Ram Dass. That's it. So I don't listen to... It's funny because as somebody who has a podcast, I don't listen to a whole lot of podcasts. I only listen to Ram Dass because I guess... I don't want to say like I've... Because it's definitely not true. I've learned everything with personal development, but I've been in it for so long. I feel like I,

you know, and I've made 800 episodes. Like I already know what someone's going to say, or I have a pretty good idea of what they're talking about. Um, so I'm not really into personal development or, um, business podcasts. What I'm into at this point is spirituality and learning more about it. And Ram Dass is just the person for me because Ram Dass is extremely analytical because he was a Harvard professor. And then he was kicked out of Harvard for, you know, giving LSD to his students back in the sixties. And then he went on this crazy spiritual route. So he can be very spiritual, but also very analytical and kind of ties it together. He's not everyone's cup of tea, but, um, I mean, he's got 175 episodes.

I started listening to him like six months ago and I've done every single one of them. So for me, it's just what I listen to in the morning because it kind of sets my mind right to, you know, thinking that there's more out there than just going and being successful and making money and running a business. But more of being connected to all that there is.

So that's it for me. That's, we listen to Joe Rogan clips sometimes. Um, sometimes we're on a long drive, listen to Joe Rogan, but more than anything else, it's, it's Ram Dass and Ram Dass only. Yeah. Ram Dass on a daily basis for sure. Ram Dass here and now is what it's called. And so that's what I listened to. Yeah. He's great's great he also keeps it real like he's not trying to i don't know i mean sometimes you feel like you know spiritual teachers can be so i don't know like not as relatable in some cases but that's not the deal with ramdas at all yeah he'll cuss really good about it for me personally i'm sure that's an appeal for you whenever he talks about his dad sometimes he says he has a shit eating grin. Like he just keeps it real in that way where you're like, oh, he isn't too out there.

Right. Most of the time he can get out there though. What else we got? All right. So they said, I'm having trouble with procrastination since the beginning of the pandemic. I used to be an active person, but these days I'm, I guess they're not from America, but I'm wrecked to do everything. Sounds awkward coming from me. I'm sure it sounds better with an accent. What would you do to become an active person again?

What do you think? Let's go for you first. What would you, what tips would you give somebody to be active again? You know, I think it would be kind of about coming up with a plan. So right now they're in a pattern because everything got crazy and there's just a shift. And so now they're in that loop. But if they decided I want to do X, Y, and Z and they came up with a daily plan

on how to fit that into their schedule and maybe have like an accountability buddy to like say, Hey, we're going to, you know, I need you to be somebody who reminds me or holds me accountable to getting this done and then just keep knocking it out daily. Yeah. They probably don't have a plan. They probably aren't good at time management. Those are the two things I can think of. And they probably don't have a why behind why they want to do it. You know, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. So if you're slacking in your routines, you're slacking in your everything, literally your business, your finances, your relationships, your being a parent, uh, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. And if something

really matters to you, you'll get it done, right? Like you'll always get it done. A hundred percent. You know, if I, if I were to tell everybody here that they had to do X, Y, Z, or everybody that they love dies by tomorrow, they'll get whatever X, Y, Z is done. They'll figure out a way to get it done. And the reason why is because there's just enough importance behind it. So if you feel like you're stuck and you're not doing what you need to do, main reason why probably is because you don't have a strong enough why you don't know the reason. So if you're like, oh, my body's gone to shit since COVID hit. Well, you probably don't care enough about your body and you need to think to yourself, well, how, why is it worth me for me? Why is it worth for me to take time out of my day to work on my body? Right? If your reading has

gone to shit, well, it's probably because the same thing, you don't care enough about your reading. So what would, what would your life look like if you read every single day for the next five years? What, where would you be five years from today? And start thinking about that. And then your why becomes stronger. If you're, you know, if we're going back to the body, if you're overweight and you're trying to lose weight, well, don't think about you losing weight, but think about the fact that you're trying to stay around to walk your daughter down the aisle, right? Like that type of stuff is what motivates people. So if someone's sitting around and they're completely unmotivated, they don't have anything that motivates them. They need to number one, figure out their why. What is your

why behind the thing that you want to do? Number two, you need to come up with a plan. Number three, you just got to freaking execute, right? And the way that you execute is when you don't feel good. What I always say is inaction causes more inaction. If you're sitting on the couch, scrolling on Instagram, you're not going to get up. It's harder to get up when you're scrolling on Instagram than it is if you're already up and moving. Action creates more action. Inaction creates inaction. So if you're laying on the couch trying to get motivated, just get up and do 15 pushups, do 50 jumping jacks, go for a run around the block, even though you don't want to move your freaking feet. And when your heart rate gets up and your blood starts pumping,

you start to get endorphins in your body. Well, then that little bit of action creates more action. The worst thing that you could do is sit on the couch and just keep thinking because thinking has never gotten anybody anywhere. Thinking with some action has gotten people to where they need to go. So I would just say, have a why, develop a plan, take action. Yep. I agree. You concur. Great. Uh, okay. So Scotty wants to know, when should I know when to cut someone out of my life and how do I do that properly? So, um, if you're already thinking that you want to cut somebody out of your life, they probably already should be out of your life. It's a pretty good chance. Uh, this is tricky

because it depends on who the person is. If they're in your family, it's not very easy to cut somebody out of your family. Now it is possible, um, to cut somebody out. Uh, I made an episode, I made a, a video about toxic people not too long ago in how if somebody's toxic, they should be gone. They should be out of your life. And if they talk down to you, if they make you feel bad about yourself, if they disturb your peace, if they try to hold you down,

if they make you feel like worse of a person, whatever it is, they need to be gone. Like they're just not worth your time. Now, what if that's one of your parents? What if that's your sister? What if that's your sister? What if that's your aunt or uncle? That makes it a little bit harder. But I said, if somebody brings you down enough

to the point where they're messing up your future and your present, you have to figure out if they're worth staying in your life or not. And a lot of people are like, but my mom did X, Y, Z for me. She did this. And I understand and I get it.

But at the same time, just because that doesn't mean you deserve to live a life of misery with someone who makes you feel like shit. Like there is, there's no reason to be around someone who makes you feel like shit. Once you turn 18, 20 years old, you can get people out of your life that don't serve you anymore. And that's the fact of the matter. Now, do you want to, that's up to you. And when I put that out there, a bunch of people were like, oh yeah, but that's stupid. Don't ever tell people to not talk to their dad again or not talk to their mom. If you saw some of the messages that I've gotten from people of what their parents have done or do to them currently, you'd be disgusted with people.

You'd be like, they should absolutely 100% not talk to that person ever again. The things that people have been through, the physical abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse that people have been to. And you're telling me that they should just continue to put themselves through that? Because here's the deal. If they have trauma from the past from that person, that trauma is still living in them every moment that they see them and every moment that their subconscious takes over and they're just sitting around doing nothing. So if your life is worth it

to you, at some point in time, you have to go, all right, this person might need to go. And how to get rid of them? You don't have to get rid of people right away, but you can slowly start to get people out of your life. It's possible. You don't have to get people out of your life 100%, but if someone's in your life 95% right now, can you go to 90? And then can you go to 85 and then 80, 75, 60, 50, and then get them down to five or 10. Your life is just going to be so much easier when you open it up. Now you have more time for people like we talked to, we started off the episode who inspire you, who bring you up, who talk amazing about you, who say good things, who make you feel better about yourself. And at that point in time, when you have that confidence coming from the people that you surround yourself with, then you can go out and do whatever it is that you want to in the world.

What are your thoughts? I have a lot of thoughts. I feel like part of it is that, you know, your happiness is your responsibility. And so you have to fully like take responsibility of owning what you allow in your life and also you know like i'm gonna sound a little woo wooey but like you have to protect your energy and um you know if it's a matter of someone that you can't you know just remove from your life a hundred percent you know start to set boundaries for yourself and become familiar with what that looks like. Um, and how you can, you know, keep boundaries in place to protect your energy because, um, that's going to be really important too. For sure. Set boundaries. If you're going to stay around somebody, at least figure out what the boundaries are.

All right. And if you guys want to see this if you guys want to see me and lauren talking and you're listening on the podcast you can always go to my youtube and you can look at the video that will be uploaded so you can see both of us if you've never seen lauren before oh here i am all right um did you ever face any challenges when it came to trying to communicate effectively with other people, be it personally or professionally? If so, how slash what did you do to overcome those challenges? P.S. I gained so much valuable insight from your podcast. They have helped me so much. Thank you for doing what you do.

How sweet. Lauren, what is my opinion on being professional and and professionalism and emails and speaking professional all that stuff i don't think you really want that much to do with it so what i agree why you don't like you don't you're not into writing emails um especially like the, hi, Nancy. Hope you had a great weekend. Nope, not me. How's the fam?

Like any of the small talk, that's just definitely not going to happen. Nope. An email is just, like if you write an email, it's going to be straight to the point. Just basic info. Yeah. No frilly nothing. basic info yeah no frilly nothing um i mean i think that with you you're just very like much yourself which is good because obviously you're authentic but it tends to be like blatant and just like direct and to the point um yeah i think uh you just get the real rob all the time

think uh you just get the real rob all the time yeah i would say that um it's just you know i've never like you've lauren lauren took communications in college graduated from college in communications she did pr and she did this stuff so she knows like how to write the perfect emails and all this stuff and i remember for a while you would see what i would do and be like that's not a good email like you've gotta got to, I was helping you write emails at one point, wasn't I? I know you were because I was like, does this sound right? Cause I just don't, I don't even care to put the time into being fake because I just don't like, and that's one of the things that people say, like if they're listening to my podcast or they meet me in person or they see my videos or they're inside of one of my courses, they're like, you're literally the same person all the time. And that's just because I just don't see any reason to be somebody else.

So the best tip I would give somebody is if you got to be professional, be professional, but don't ever not be yourself. That's what I would say, because there's a lot of people that are in business that are complete, like there's a lot of people that are in my business that you can literally, that are in personal development or podcasting. And you can, you know, the mic turns on and there's somebody else turns off and they're a completely different person. And you've met people and you're like, who the hell, like, how is that person? Yeah. I don't enjoy that. Yeah. And so for me, it's just like, I don't, I don't, um,

I don't care about constructs enough human constructs made up by people that are no smarter than you and I and dealing with them enough to change who I am. So for me, I'm going to give the answer that nobody really was expecting or wanted to hear. I don't really care to be business professional too often. Like, is there times? Yes, there is some times and stuff, but I don't, I think that one of the things that people really do though is, is they give up part of themselves to be what everyone else wants them to be and that's in business but it's also in like normal life people just they aren't fully 100% authentic to who they are and then 10 years down the road they don't even know who they are anymore

because they've been somebody else for other people because they care about other people's perceptions and judgments of them too much and I think if you start to go down that road, um, it can get pretty hairy where you start to lose yourself because you're trying to be someone else for other people. And, you know, in my opinion, I might be the worst texter and emailer in the world, but it's just cause I just don't care to be that way. And that's the good thing about running your own business is you don't have to. Like I can hire somebody to send emails for me, right? Like you can do that.

That's the other great thing about it is when you have your own business, you don't have to act a certain way. If you are in a business and you work for a company, you got to do what your boss tells you to do. So figure out whatever that is, try to be as authentic as you can inside of that construct of a business.

And if you got to Um, and you know, if you got to say, hope you had a great weekend before you actually get to the real fricking point of the whole email, go for it. I guess. You know what, when I say that to people, it's because I really genuinely hope they did. Yeah. But I will say this. So even though that isn't part of what you do, there's the other side of professionalism in terms of like respecting people's time and you do that. Making sure you're providing value to the people that you're working with. Never asking for something if you're not going to be able to provide value and, you know, exchange evenly. That type of a thing, like you have all that down. type of a thing like you have all that down you're just basically saying like i'm not gonna add fluffy unnecessary stuff to you know our communication but you know you're very respectful

people's times you're always on time all of that kind of stuff like that's important and you do stick to that and that's and we're only talking about emails at this point too there's also the other thing of like you know when you're communicating with somebody verbally and the way that you communicate with someone verbally. And I just fully believe in authenticity. And even if you don't act the way you're quote unquote supposed to in business, I think that just being yourself will get more people's respect. Even if that person is a higher up than you in your business

or in your company or whatever it is. Yeah, I try to be as respectful as I can for people's respect, even if that person is a higher up than you and your business or in your company or whatever it is. Um, yeah, I try to be as respectful as I can for people's time. I, Lauren knows I hate being late. It literally drives me insane. It gives me like an anxiety attack to be late, like stresses me out because like when, when I was raised by my mom, every clock was a different time between five to 10 minutes ahead. So I was, you, if you showed up on time, you know, that you were about between five to 10 minutes early. Um, so when it comes down to being respectful of people's time, all of that stuff, um, there's also just like, I feel like, you know, when you get to a certain point in business, like when you're a CEO of a company, you kind of just want to be around more real people because there's so many ass kissers in your company. right? And I think that sometimes when you are more real and very

respectful, people just connect with that and they notice a part of themselves in it as well. I noticed that the most CEOs or some of the most successful people that I know are not like businessy type people, right? They don't speak businessy. It's kind of like the people that have managers above them are the ones that have to be businessy so that the managers don't judge them or get mad at them for it. But once you get to a certain level of like the C-suite of companies, usually they're not businessy at all. They're usually the least businessy out of the entire company, right? Like they do whatever the hell they want. They talk however they want because they know that they can be themselves because nobody's going to fire them so i don't know it's just

an interesting thing to think about as far as like who you actually truly are and who you want to be and show up for other people yep all right so uh next one is how do you put all of this mindset work into practice i listen to to podcasts, yours every morning. I make lists of things to do. I read all the mindset books, but it feels like I'm constantly preparing to make a change, but it seems overwhelming with all the things I need to do. How do you take the first step? Stop listening.

Stop reading. Stop learning. I had an episode years ago that was called stop. What was it called? Um, stop studying, start training. I think there's something along those lines where it's just like, sometimes we trick ourselves to think that we're being productive when in reality we are learning too much, right? Like I, I haven't, I mean, besides like a couple parts of books, I haven't read a book in a couple of years. And the reason why is because I don't, not because I don't need to read books, but because they're not at this point in my life serving me for what it is I'm trying to do.

And there was a point that I realized that I was reading too much and I was watching too much and learning too much and I wasn't taking enough action. And a lot of times, I think a lot of people will mask their fear. For instance, they'll mask their fear of rejection or their fear of failure with, I'm not ready yet, so I need to keep learning. So then what they do is they don't take any action. So they tell themselves, I need to read another book. I need to go get another degree, another certification, another thing to put up on the wall that tells me that I'm good enough. When in reality, you don't need to do any of that stuff anymore. You don't need to read any more books. You don't need to listen to any more podcasts. You don't need to do any of that stuff. What you need to do is you need to get your butt

up in the morning and start working as hard as you possibly can for whatever it is that you want. So there's a point where you have to ask yourself, am I just, um, wasting my time learning at this point when I should be taking action? And, um, you know, I know some men I've, I know some people that, that make crazy amounts of money that are ex cons. They never went to college and never graduated high school, but they have hardcore work ethic. They learn what they need to learn. They get around the right people and then they work harder than anybody else.

And I have one person specific. I'm not going to say who it is, but he's an ex-con. He makes probably $100 million a year. He didn't graduate high school, but he doesn't sit around reading books all day. He takes action. He's up.

You see him every single day on his Instagram stories, 5 a.m. at the gym, not sleeping in, 5 a.m. at the gym. Then he goes to work and, you know, people are like, oh man, I'd love to have his life with the Rolls Royce and with the crazy house in LA and with the private jet and all of those things. But sometimes you have to just go, do I need to stop reading?

Do I need to stop, you know, listening to podcasts? Do I need to stop watching YouTube motivational speeches? And do I just need to actually take action? Because you got to go screw up in order to figure out how to actually do things right. I had in my, in my course, my, my group and my course where I teach people how to grow coaching businesses. I had somebody say, you know, yesterday inside of the Facebook group, she said, you know, how do we deal with a no sale that it comes in? Cause I'm starting to feel down about myself about this. No, so I just had, and I said, you have to realize, like I've had more no sales in my career of selling stuff than

I've had sales. The, you know, LeBron James has missed more shots than he's made. You know, if you're a incredible basketball player, you miss 55% of your shots. If you're like the best, you miss 55%, which means you miss more than you make. If you're one of the best baseball players in the world, you strike out 70 to 75% of the time that you're at bat, right? Like you have to realize you have to miss shots. You have to screw up in order to make shots. It's like Wayne Gretzky says, you'll miss 100% of shots you don't take.

If you're sitting around and learning too much at this point, you're just not taking shots. It's like Wayne Gretzky says, you'll miss a hundred percent of shots you don't take. If you're sitting around and learning too much at this point, you're just not taking shots. You're, you're, you're watching film, right? Like the best basketball players and you know, the best basketball players watch film. They watch every single game. They learn, they get better. But if you're not going out on the court, you're basically just watching film all the time. And you can't get better just by watching film. It's a required part of becoming successful, but you got to get on the court. You got to screw up. You got to learn how to dribble. You got to miss some shots in order to make sure you get your shots right. So what I would say is stop learning, cut it out for the next two months, and then just take hardcore action towards whatever it is you need to do. Yeah. Yes. You like that? I like that.

Do you have anything to add to that i don't think i have anything different i mean really it's like sometimes i feel like the lessons and things that i've learned have taken on a whole new meaning once i've actually had to put them into practice right like when i'm actually faced with a challenge then it's like i reach into my toolbox and i'm like this is when i really need to pull out right. And before, you know, reading it or hearing about it, it all sounds great. But until you're actually faced with having to use those tools, it's just going to be an idea that's all cool and stuff. But yeah, I mean, you'll have a much deeper understanding of everything you're learning

once you're putting it into practice. It means so much more. Yeah, you just have to jump in. Love it. All right. What's next? Okay. Hey, Rob. Okay. So I run, I run a production company creating content for people and businesses. I find myself procrastinating due to constant doubts of my age. And if all of this time I'm putting into work will be worth it in the long shot. I'm 20. I of course know that there will be that it will be worth it but that doesn't stop my mentality from dragging me to a halt. Do you have any practices I should

adopt in order to combat these thoughts that destroy my productivity? Well it's more self it's self-doubt is all that it really is, which everybody has self-doubt. You're just, your self-doubt happens to be in your age, right? So when I started my first business in Cutco, I was 20. When I first started interviewing people for the position, I was 20 years old and I was interviewing people 20, 25, 30, 40, sometimes 60 years old. And, and I remember people would come in and I would, they'd go through an interview and they'd be interviewed with me and they'd be a good fit. And they'd be like, Hey, I just have a problem with the fact that you're 20 years or 40 years younger than me.

And you're going to be my trainer. And this was 2000 and 2006, 2007, 2008. So LeBron James is like 21, 22 at the time. Right. So, but he was still pretty much the best basketball player that was out there. And so people came in and they were like, you know, I have a problem with the fact that I'm going to be learning from you and you're so much younger than me. I don't know if you have experience. And I said, okay, well, you know, I have a question for you. If LeBron James came in here right now, he's 22 years old and said, Hey, Lauren, I want to teach you how to play basketball. Would you go, you're not old enough. I only learned from people that are my age. And they're like, no, of course not. And I go,

they're like, why? I asked them why? And they're like, well, because he's the best basketball player in the world. And I would look him dead in the eyes and I'd say, yeah, I'm one of the best in the world too. So do you want to work with me or not? Cause I really don't care. And when you're that real with people, people are like, Oh shit, this person's like, like people, you can tell when someone's serious about something. So I don't care what somebody does at 20 years old, but there's some people that I know that are 20 years old that are crushing it as CEOs at their own companies. And they have, you know, I know somebody who's 20 years old and they have like 20 employees, but nobody looks at them and like, Oh no, I'm not going to work with them because they're, they're

younger than me. So I think it comes down to confidence more than anything else of how to actually believe in yourself. When I started this podcast, I was 28 years old and I thought to myself, like, who's going to want to get life advice and mindset advice from a 28 year old, right? What, what 40, 45, 50, 60 year old would want to listen to a 28 year old. And it kept me from making the podcast for about five months. And then I was just like, I'm going to do it. And if somebody wants to listen to me, they can, um, you know,

now I'm 34 years old. But if you look at the demographics of this, uh, of who listens to this, my largest age group is 25 to 44, like 60% of people listen to this podcast are 25 to 44, which means there's people that are 10 years older than me that are listening to this podcast, right? There's also people that are, I've people that are in groups and courses that I've done, and they're 50, 60, 70 years old, and they've gotten something from it. But what I think it comes down to is how humble somebody is to go ages is nothing but a number, you know, because you could be 20 years old and have four years of experience at something, five years experience at something. You know, the, my business partner that I have that we're making the t-shirt company, he was a millionaire by 17 years old.

You're going to not, you're going to go, Oh no, I don't want to learn from a 17 year old on how to make money when you have a $500 in the bank and he's got a million. Or are you going to put yourself and be humble and go, yeah, maybe I should put my tail between my legs and learn from this person. It could be about making money. It could be business. It could be spirituality. It could be anything that you can learn from someone. So, you know, we've all got issues where we're holding ourself back and yours is just disguised. Your insecurities are hiding themselves in not being old enough, right? We've all got our insecurities in different ways. Sometimes it's not pretty enough, not smart enough, you know, not old enough.

Whatever it is, we all disguise in some sort of way. And this one just happens to be age. So age doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how old you are. You know, just go out there and put the work in. And, you know, the one thing that I remember my boss telling me when I was younger is he said, just outwork everybody.

Because if you work harder than anybody else, you'll get everyone's respect. And I was like, all right, cool. So I just tried to outwork every single person I could because people respect somebody who works really hard. People respect somebody who works really hard because most people can't drive themselves to do it. So that alone shows that you're different than the average person.

So that's my thoughts on it. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy because it happens on both sides of the spectrum. I've talked to people who are, you know, in their sixties and seventies and they're like, why would anybody listen to me? I'm just this old person. And so, I mean, it's like you said, it's just an idea that people have come up with in their own head based on, you know, fear or their self-doubt, whatever limiting belief it is that they're holding. But we talked about this earlier, too, about, you know, if you were to ask yourself who out there needs my help and like there's people who really need what it is that you have to offer. And like with you, for instance, you know, you were having some doubts about starting the podcast because Tony Robbins, like he's out there killing it, been doing it for years. Why is there space for Rob Dial? And so, you know, for anybody who's listening to this, who's been impacted by the podcast or anything that you've done,

you know, they wouldn't have been if you would have continued down that thought process. Um, so, you know, there's people out there that really need what you have to offer and your limiting beliefs are holding you back or holding them back from getting your help. Which means you're being selfish because you have value that you could give the world, but you're too busy thinking about yourself and your own insecurities to not give it to them. Right. Which means you're selfish. Well, it's also just temporary discomfort, right? Because you're going to start to do something and it's going to become second nature and you will have, you know, cross that bridge and it'll become easier. I mean, there was a point in time where you hated talking on camera and you didn't necessarily like doing it and it was awkward and weird, but that's not the

case anymore. I know. Now we've got two cameras looking at us right now. So yeah, it's also just temporary discomfort that you will get past. Yeah. It's well worth it for all the people that you're going to end up helping in the long run. Nobody likes talking in front of camera when they first do. I'm sure I'm going to hate this when I see it. 100%. You're not even going to let you look at it because you're going to hate it so much. I'm not going to like the way it sounds, the way it looks, but it's like, you know, whatever. You just got to let it happen.

Yeah, it'll be fine. Let's do one more. Pick the best. What's the best one that you have? Oh, well, this is the last one and it's the best one. Okay, perfect. Okay, so if this was your last day on earth, what food would you eat and why? Oh, you already know the answer to this one.

That's the best part. What two meals would I have and where would they be? That's so funny that you said two because I know that there's two that it would be. Right. And I don't know which one if you had to pick one. I couldn't pick one. So you got to tell us what two there would be. So both of them are in Italy.

Yep. One is in Florence and one is in Rome. Yep. So there's the best pizza on the planet at a place called El Pizzaiolo. Mm-hmm. And, oh, God, it's amazing. And that's in Florence. That's in Florence.

Mm-hmm. So that's for sure one of them. I would get the Diavola is what it is called. It has meat on it. It has dairy. It has gluten. It has all of it. All of the things that I don't eat, it has.

I don't eat gluten. It has gluten. I don't eat dairy. It has dairy. I don't eat meat. It has meat. But if it's my last day on earth, I would just have to do it. Yeah.

The other one is the Carbonara right yeah in rome at um oh come on you got it oh no i know the name of it da enzo yes so if you guys ever go to Florence or Rome, you have to go. If you're in Rome, it's a place called Da Enzo, D-A space E-N-Z-O. It is the best food hands down I've ever had in my entire life. We've eaten all over the world. And their carbonara is like mind-blowingly good. It's magical. It's insane how good it is.

Like I did not know food. It's funny because when you get to Italy, you don't know how that food could be so good. And then when you get to D'Aenzo, you didn't know that it could be even better. And so we've been there. I mean, we've been to Rome probably seven times together. How many times do you think we've eaten at D'Aenzo?

I don't know how many times we've eaten there. I just... We've been there multiple nights in a row. Oh yeah, for sure. Because it's worth it. I mean, it's the kind of place where you wait outside for potentially an hour to... Like we've waited over an hour. Yeah, to get in there.

And we are happy to wait every single time because it is so worth it. Yep. Oh, it's amazing. And then the other place is called Il Pizzaiolo. Pizzaiolo. Pizzaiolo. And that's in Florence. And we always get the Diavola. And it's hands down the best pizza ever.

It's got that really fresh basil on it. It's just a whole different story because basil in Italy is like everything else in Italy. It's just amazing. Yep. And every time, like we've literally gone and taken trips to Rome and Florence just to eat at those two places.

So those would be the two places. If it was my last day on Earth, I would probably, last day on Earth, I would start in Rome. I would wake up. Oh, here we go. There's another one.

I just thought about it. You already know the answer to this one too. We would wake up in Rome and then what would I do? A meccanismo or a cappuccino and a croissant. For sure. It's a place called Meccanismo that is in Trastevere, which is in Rome. It's a neighborhood in Rome.

I would get 100% a cappuccino and then I would get two croissants. I would get their croissants. Then I guess if we're already there, we'd have to have lunch there. So it'd probably be lunch at, at Dianzo. We'd go and get the carbonara. Then we'd have to take the train, the speed train an hour and a half North to Florence. Then I would have the Diablo pizza at Pizzaiolo. Yep. And then I would die happy. Yep. Cause that would be the best day of food ever. Sure. Well, I'm so hungry and now I'm just dreaming. Yeah. And it's, you know, almost August bless you. It's sorry. It's going to be one more, everybody.

I think we're good. Okay. It's basically three every single time. Usually. So, um, so yeah, it's August. We were supposed to be in Italy for a month, all of April, until this whole COVID thing hit. And then we're like, all right, well, if we can't go in April, I guess we'll go in October. Don't know if that's going to be happening either. So our two months that we usually travel to Rome doesn't look like it's happening.

We'll go. The second that we're able to go back to Italy, Rob and Lauren will be on the plane. That's for sure. So that's what we got for today's episode. If you love this episode and you want us to do more of these, send us an email, let us know

if you want us to do more of these question answer sessions. And I'm going to leave you the same way you leave you every single episode, make it your mission, make somebody else's day better. Go out there and be the change that you need to see in the world. Lauren, thank you for being my amazing guest and interviewer and uh if you guys want some more of lauren let me know and

we could have her on more as well have a great day