The Mindset Mentor - My Problem With Personal Growth

Episode Date: June 27, 2018

Episode 447 - Personal growth is amazing, it changed my life, but I do have one really big problem with it! I think we need to chat about it and warn you about it as well. So let's dive into that issue on this episode! Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to the MWF Motivation Podcast, one of the top-rated motivational podcasts in the world. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I come out with a short, to-the-point, no-BS podcast designed to transform you from who you are today into who you want to be. There's no fluff here, just life-changing content. My name is Rob Dial, and the podcast starts now. Welcome to today's episode of You Have Not Yet Done, so please hit the subscribe button. So today what I'm going to be talking about, and just so you guys know, for those of you guys that always ask me to keep you updated on my travels, we are back from, we went to Bali, we went to, well we went to Thailand, we went to Bali, we went to Dubai, and now we are back in Italy.

I am currently in a place called Bolsena, Italy, which is a beautiful lake, if you want to Google it, Lake Bolsena, that is just about an hour and a half outside of Rome. So that's my update on my travels. If you guys wanted to know where in the world we have been, we've been all over the place. Finally back here and my family is in town. So we were hanging out with them, which is awesome as well. But what I'm going to be talking about today though, is what my main issue is with personal development. And obviously, I've been in the personal development industry for about 12 years now. And the main issue that I have, and there's only really one issue that I really, really have with it. And it's not necessarily just the industry, but it's also people's perception of themselves. It's more of perception of themselves, right?

And this is what it is. You are not broken the way that you are. When you go into personal development, you see all of the ways that you need to improve. You see all the ways that you need to get better. You see all of the deficiencies that you feel like you might have, and you feel like there's something wrong with you. And that is my main issue is that people go into it that way. Some people might talk, you know, some people might be a quote unquote social media guru. No, it's a personal development guru, right? And they might seem like the way that they're talking is talking down to you by saying that you're broken in some sort of way. You're not broken in any sort of way. Personal

development is not to fix your problems because here's the thing. Everybody has problems. It's not to fix all of these problems. It's to make you better. And so the easiest way to explain it to you, and I have to try to explain it the best that I can, so I hope that this makes sense, is that if you're trying to get a little bit better, just a little bit better, that's what personal development is for. That's what personal growth is for, becoming the best version of yourself. Each day, you're just trying to become a little bit better. That's what personal development is for. That's what personal growth is for, becoming the best version of yourself. Each day, you're just trying to become a little bit better, right? That's like starting at zero, ground level, and then just

going to one, right? That's a little bit better. We're not trying to get you from zero to 100. We're trying to get you each day just a little bit more, just from zero, ground level. There's nothing wrong with zero. Zero is perfectly fine, perfectly normal. We're trying to get you from zero to one, just a little tiny improvement each day. If you do just a little teeny tiny improvement every single day, well, then that's 365 little tiny improvements over the course of the year. That makes big changes in your life. Your life doesn't change by some massive thing or event happening. It comes from little teeny tiny things. So the thing is, is you're not broken. You're not working from a level below zero. You're at normal. You're at ground level. You're at zero. And we're just

trying to get you to one. But most people's perception when they get into personal growth is that they're broken, is something is wrong with them, something that they need to fix. And when you come at it from that mindset, you're not at zero anymore. You're at negative one. That means you're below normal when you're broken or messed up or screwed up. You're below normal. And then so what you're actually trying to do is get yourself from negative one, quote unquote, broken to zero. So that means that you're coming with the mindset

of I just need to get to normal, right? And the thing that you have to realize is that everybody's got issues. Everybody's screwed up in different ways. You're normal, right? Everybody at zero has problems and issues and things that they're trying to get better at. So when you come from the mindset of I'm broken, I need to fix myself, I'm broken, I need to fix myself, I'm really screwed up, I need to fix myself, all of these things, you're coming from a mindset of I'm at negative one, I just got to get to zero. And that's the issue. You can't do that. And the reason why is because then you're not even trying to improve. You're just trying to get to normal. And then so if you're at, you know, and I'll slow down so I could try to, because sometimes

this clicks with people right away. Sometimes this doesn't click with people right away. If you're at negative one and you're thinking to yourself, well, everybody else is already normal. Everybody else is improving themselves. That's like the mindset of going from negative one to one. That's even further. So you have to go from negative one to zero to one. That's further. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not broken. Nothing that happened to you in your past screwed you up.

You are at zero in each day. This is the easiest way to think about it. You're just trying to get a little bit better from zero to one. And then you wake up each day and you're at zero again and you're going to one. You're just getting yourself a little bit better, a little bit better, a little bit better. And the reason why I'm saying this, I'll give you a perfect example. I had a talk I gave almost about a year ago. And at the end of the talk, there's a few hundred people that were there. At the end of the talk, this girl came up to me and she's probably 20, 21 years old. And she said, Rob,

I'm just really, I'm trying to get better at personal growth. But the problem is I feel like, and she goes into depth on her exact story. And she said she was raped at some point in time. And I've had this happen a few times. I've had, I've had this, almost this exact same situation happen a few times where they say this, these actual words, I can't get better because I feel like there's something missing. I feel like I'm broken. I feel like there's a part of me that's not whole. And that, that was, that's, I've heard those words a few times and obviously I've never been in that situation. So I'm not judging anybody in some sort of way, but you have to realize you're not broken in any sort of way. And so what I said to her, and I was not antagonizing her in any sort of way, is I was trying to change her mindset

immediately on the way she was viewing herself. And she said, I feel like I'm not whole. And then so I paused for a second. I looked at her and looked at her feet and I looked at her legs and I looked at her arms and I looked at her back and her face and I said, well, what part of you is missing? And she looked at me kind of weird and thought about it. She I said, well, what, what, what part of you is missing? And she looked at me kind of weird and thought about it. She was like, well, what do you mean? And I said, well, you said to me that you're not whole. There's something, there's something missing. Well, where is it? Where's, what is it missing? Cause I'm looking at you and both of your feet are there. Both of your legs are there. Both of your arms, your hands, you look like you got both eyes.

Those are both real eyes, correct? And she laughed a little bit because obviously you have to, you know, make light of a subject. She laughed a little bit. And she's like, yeah. And I said, so what part of you is broken? And she thought, what part of you is not whole or broken or missing? And she thought about, she's like, well, I guess nothing is really actually missing. And I said, so where is that deficiency coming from? And she said, well, I guess it's, I guess it's only coming from my mind. I I said, so where is that deficiency coming from? And she said, well, I guess it's only coming from my mind. I was like, exactly. So you're coming from a point of negative one, trying to, she thinks that she's messed up. She thinks that she's broken. She

thinks that there's something wrong with her, which makes her think that she's already below average. She's already at negative one. No, definitely not. And so everybody is at zero. She was at zero trying to get to one. And you're just trying to improve a little bit every single day. And so what I want you to take from this episode is, I'm not saying don't dive into personal development. I'm saying become obsessed with personal development.

That's what I'm saying. But what I'm saying is, as you're going through it, don't view yourself as broken or screwed up or missing or behind everybody else. View yourself because if you view yourself as broken or behind or any of those things, you're viewing yourself as a negative one, right? You're zero. Everybody's at zero and you're just trying to get to one, which is just a tiny improvement. All you're trying to do is just improve yourself a tiny bit every single day. But don't look at yourself and say, how am I effed up? How am I screwed up? What are all of my

issues? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Don't come at it from that viewpoint. You have to come at it from the viewpoint of, okay, we're at ground zero. We're at level zero. I'm trying to improve myself. What do I need to improve at? In order for me to get to where I want to go, what do I need to improve at? And you come at it from the standpoint of I am normal. I am whole. I am good and perfect the way that I am, but I can get better. And that's my goal is just to get a little bit better every single day. Come at it from the viewpoint of that is where I am. I'm at normal and I'm trying to get better.

I'm at normal. I'm trying to get better. Not I am broken and I'm trying to get to normal. So I hope that makes sense. I hope this episode has been impactful for you. If you know somebody that this would really impact them, please do me a favor and share with them because I feel like this is an episode that a lot of people need to hear. So once again, become obsessed with personal growth, but do it in the right way. Do it from the right standpoint of I'm just trying to get

better, not I'm trying to fix myself. So like I said, if you liked this episode, please share with someone that you know, and I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day. Well, that's it for today's podcast. If you want the show notes for this episode, they can be found at mwfmotivation.com. Also, if you liked this episode, please spread the love and share it with a friend.

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