The Mindset Mentor - Never Negotiate with Your Mind

Episode Date: July 15, 2022

Your mind is the thing holding you back. Today I am going to teach you how to work past it.   Want to master your mindset? Every Monday I send out an email with mindset tips for the week, click here to receive that email: http://mondayemail.com/ Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host Rob Dial and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, please do me a massive favor, take your phone out right now and give us a rating and review however you listen to us. The more positive reviews that we get, the more that those platforms show this podcast to people who have never listened to us, and the more that more people can hear us. So if you would do that, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Today, I'm going to be teaching you how to never negotiate with your mind. I'm going to be teaching you how to smash the little voice that you hear inside of

your head. I like to call it the little bitch, the inner bitch that holds us back the most. Why would you want to smash that little voice? And you know it's what I'm talking about because at every point in time, it feels like you got a little devil inside of you, a little devil voice coming in saying, no, don't do that. Don't go work out. Eat some of that food, some candy instead. Have a beer instead of having some water. You have that little side of you. But then you've got the other side of you. It's like, I don't know. It's not, it's not what I want to be. This isn't aligned with what I want to be doing and my goals. And so why would you want to smash that little voice, the little devil voice inside of you? Because everything that you want in your life, like really want, truly like your feeling that will make you feel fulfilled is on the other side of all of your

fears. And that little voice tries to keep you in your comfort zone, aka stay away from anything that you fear. On the other side of that little voice inside of your head is everything that you want. On the other side of all of the excuses, all of the reasons why now is not the right time, all of the reasons why you're not the right time, all of the reasons why you're not good enough, why you're not smart enough, why you're going to be rejected, why you're going to fail, all of those little tiny things that you're saying inside of your head over and over and over again, on the other side of that, taking the action that that voice is trying to hold us back from taking, on the other side of that, everything that you want,

everything that you desire, Everything that will make you feel fully fulfilled. It's like Will Smith says, God put the amazing things in this world on the other side of fear. So if there's one thing that you should fear, you should fear fear. That is the thing that you should fear. The only thing to fear is fear itself. You've heard that quote before. What does it mean? It means the only thing that's really the scariest thing in this world is you listening to your fears, not taking the action that you should to create the life that you want, and then getting to the end of your life and realizing, damn it, I didn't do what I could have done. I had a great shot in this life and I didn't do all that I could. I didn't

impact as many people as I could. I didn't create the life that I wanted to. So the main thing that you should fear is fear. Don't fear anything else. Fear fear because living a life that is captive of fear is not a fully lived life. That's what you should fear. When I was younger, before I started working on myself, I had so many fears that were out there. It was like I was afraid of being judged. I was afraid of being rejected. I was afraid of failure. I was afraid of success. I was afraid of people saying no to me. I was afraid of all of those things. And then as I started working on myself, I realized that all of those things are actually positive. I should be stepping into all of those fears. I should be stepping into rejection. I should be stepping into other people's opinions. I should be stepping into the feeling of I'm not good enough and see what's on the other side of that. Because when you fear fear, the only thing that you fear

is getting to the end of your life and wishing that you would have done more. But we all have that little voice inside of us and it's either pushing us forward or it's holding us back. For most people, it's holding them back. So how do we get that little voice inside of our head to be quieter? How do we get the voice inside of our head that is empowering, that is telling us what we do on how great we are to be louder? Because for most of us, that voice is that little tiny, the little inner bitch is just holding us back. And you know what I'm talking about. I hope you do. It's that voice that says you're not smart enough. The voice that says you're not pretty enough. You're not fit enough. You're not worthy. The voice that says, hey, go back to bed. It's comfortable in here. The voice that says, hey, scroll on Instagram instead of working out.

The one that says sleep in. The one that says, hey, spend some extra time watching some Netflix instead of going to bed early so you can prepare for your morning routine. The one that says stay on the couch. The one that tries to keep you inside of your comfort zone. The thing that you should fear is not stepping out of the comfort zone. The thing that you should fear is staying in your comfort zone. The thing that you should fear is the long-term consequences of what your life will be if you listen to that little voice and stay inside of your comfort zone. Don't fear outside of the comfort zone. Fear the damn comfort zone. But this little voice is designed to keep you in a comfort zone. Why is that? Well, it makes a whole lot of sense. The majority of the time when I'm working

with people or when I'm thinking about people, what's going on in their mind, I like to go, well, how does this make any sense? Like, why is this built into us? And usually if you go back like 100,000 to 200,000 years ago, you actually start to think about why would these things exist? Well, the little voice inside of our head, the one that wants to keep us in our comfort zone, is the little voice that was the protection mechanism when we were 100, 200,000 years ago, cavemen, cavewoman walking around with loincloths on, right? And so the little voice inside of our head is equivalent to the feeling of waking up in the middle of the night. You're inside the cave. You're the only one that's awake and you've got to go to the bathroom. And you're thinking to

yourself in your little caveman head, I don't know what I was going to say, whatever language I speak, but I guess I don't know what caveman language speak. Probably a bunch of grunting and all that stuff. You think to yourself, should I go out there or should I just hold it? And you step to the edge of that cave to go walk out of the cave and it's dark and you hear rustling in the bush and get this fear that's inside of you. That's the feeling of a comfort zone. The same feeling, it's crazy because the same feeling that I'm assuming a caveman would get 200,000 years ago when they're about to step out of a cave and be fully unprotected is the same feeling that we get when we're on the edge of our comfort zone about to step out and do something we've never done

before. It's a physical feeling, isn't it? Like when I say fear of stepping out of your comfort zone, it's not like a thought. It's a physical feeling inside of our body. Now we know when we step out of our comfort zone, we're not going to die. If we're going to go make cold calls and possibly get rejected, we're not going to die. If we're going to walk up to that person and ask them if they want to go on a date, we're not going to die. But we still feel the physical feelings inside of us that we would have felt 200,000 years ago. It might not be as drastic as it was back then, but it's still built inside of us. So what do we do? You got to destroy the little voice inside of your head. Whenever it pops up,

this is where it gets hard, everybody. Whenever that voice pops up, you have to do exactly what it's telling you not to do. You have to do exactly what that little voice is telling you not to do. If it's telling you not to go work out, you got to get your happy ass up and you got to go work out. If it's telling you that you, you know, shouldn't make the bed because you don't have enough time, make the bed. If it's telling you, hey, put that dish inside of the dishwasher and, you know, then you'll get to it a little bit later on, do the dish inside of the dishwasher. If it's saying, hey, don't make cold calls, make the damn cold calls. If it's telling you not to wake up before the sun, to stay inside of your bed, get out of your bed. You've got to become very aware of when it clicks

in. It's the same little voice. This is the reason why I love cold showers so much. Not because it's cool and because it's popular and because of all of that. Because the feeling that you get when you're about to go into the cold plunge, I have a cold plunge inside of my garage and it stays at about 42 degrees all day long. And so the feeling that I get right when I'm about to go into that cold plunge or if I'm about to take a cold shower when I'm traveling is the same feeling that I get that tells me not to work out. It tells me not to get out of bed. It's the one that says, hey, don't do the cold calls. It's the same exact one. is the one that says, hey, don't do the cold calls. It's the same exact one. And so what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to put myself, reason why, besides all of the health benefits that come

from cold plunges and cold showers, the reason why it's so important in my mind, besides all the physical benefits, is actually the mental benefits, is to put yourself first thing in the morning in a very uncomfortable situation where you are at battle with yourself. There's a side of you that's like, I know I should do this. I know I should do this. There's a lot of health benefits. There's a lot of mental benefits. And then there's a side of you that's like, screw this, go back to bed. Why would you ever get in it? Nobody will know if you don't take a cold shower. Nobody will know if you don't take a cold plunge. So you have that internal battle brought to the surface so you can work on it. And why is it important? Because it's like going to the gym. The more that you go to

the gym, the stronger that you get. The more that you work on this mental muscle of going against the little voice inside of your head, the stronger that your willpower becomes, the stronger that your discipline becomes, the stronger that your follow through becomes on every single thing that you do. So when you notice that little voice come into your head and say, hey, don't walk up to that person, introduce yourself, get up, walk up to that person, introduce yourself. Is it going to be easy? No. Are you going to feel fear? Absolutely. Is it physical? Yeah, it's a physical feeling inside of the body. But what happens is I don't think you'll ever get rid of that little voice. You just learn how to, I guess you could say stomp on it, get rid of that little voice. You just learn how to

I guess you could say stomp on it stomp on the little voice it pops up you say screw you I'm going to do what you said not to do Right. Hey guys, are you looking for the most comfortable boxers in the game? Well fear no more the kings of crotch comfort manscaped have spent two years designing the most comfortable boxer briefs that are out there They're sleek soft comfortable, comfortable, flexible, and the brand new Boxers 2.0 from Manscaped will make you feel amazing. If you're looking for the most comfortable ones, it's time for you to invest in a great set of boxers.

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with our code dial at manscaped.com. That's 20% off plus free shipping using our code dial at manscaped.com. Up your crotch game because once the boxers 2.0 touch your sack, you'll never go back. You cannot negotiate with your mind. Your mind is designed to keep you safe. Designing to keep you safe means stay inside of your comfort zone. Your mind is a protection mechanism. That is what it's designed to do. Its number one job is to keep you safe. Now, when you go and do something outside of your comfort zone, once again, you're not necessarily going to die. You're not unsafe, but you still need to go against that thing. Because if you don't go against that thing, you're going to live a most likely an okay, somewhat mediocre life. But if you're listening to this podcast, you're not the type of person that wants

that. You're one of the weird people that wants more. Realize there's very few of us that want to actually grow ourself and work harder and work on our mindset and work on our physical fitness and work on becoming better. Most people would rather stay stagnant and not do the hard thing. But the only way to get rid of that voice is to defeat it. There is no other option. You cannot think yourself out of your mind. I remember one time I was talking with a guy and he was thinking about joining a program. And he's like, yeah, I'm thinking about joining this program, man, but I'm not really sure.

I had all of these limiting beliefs come up. And it was for him starting a company that he's been wanting to start for a while. He's like, I had all these limiting beliefs come up as soon as I started about joining this program. I was like, okay, so what are you going to do? He goes, well, I think I'm just going to think through my limiting beliefs. I was like, what? You're going to think through your limiting beliefs?

That's like trying to dig out a quicksand. You're going to go deeper and deeper into them because they're almost never ending. The more that you dive into them, more and more and more and more and more, you're going to find. The obstacle is the way. This is that little voice. The beautiful thing about it is it's a teacher. It's literally guiding you. It is showing you where you are not free. It is showing you where you need to work on yourself. It is showing you the edge of your comfort zone. And so if we can become aware, ah, there's that little voice again.

What's it showing me? It's showing me that I'm getting to the edge of my comfort zone. Well, do I want to grow? Yeah. Do I want to become better? Absolutely. So if I don't, if I listen to that little voice and I do what it says is going back to bed, whatever it is, I'm not pushing through my comfort zone. I'm not growing. I'm not finding another side of myself. You cannot listen to it. It's showing you where you need to grow. You can't negotiate your mind. You can't think

your way out of your limiting beliefs. The only way through it is literally by realizing that the obstacle is the way. The obstacle that is in front of you is the way. The only way out is to go through. Your comfort zone is where your dreams go to die. You can't wait until you're comfortable until you make cold calls. You can't wait until you're comfortable until you decide to go to the gym. You can't wait until you're comfortable until you decide to make a change. Most of the time when change happens, real lasting changes, when you're so damn uncomfortable that you're like, I cannot do this anymore. You can't wait till you're ready. You have to jump off of the ledge knowing that the parachute will be there.

There's never a perfect time. There never will be a perfect time. Everyone's always like, oh yeah, well now's not the perfect time. I'm not really busy right now. So maybe in like two months and then two months comes and you're like, oh my God, I'm so busy again. Do you know why two months always seems like the perfect time and right now doesn't seem like a perfect time? Because you don't have anything scheduled for two months down the road. But then when that week comes and you get there, you're like, oh my God, I've got so many things going on. This is why introverts hate planning too far ahead because you can plan ahead with a friend. And then the day comes, you're like, oh shit, I don't want to do that. Right? And now

you've got to figure out a way to work through it. You have to find and seek your discomfort. You have to have the, you have to, you have to seek your discomfort because if you're constantly willing to change, wanting to change, the brain only changes, the body only changes by doing something different. You can't do the same thing and expective results. As Einstein says, that's the exact phrase for insanity, to do the same thing over and over again and expective results is insanity. The ability to change your brain is amazing. There's something called neuroplasticity where you can actually change your brain. There's so many different instances where they show people change their brain.

People who read Braille have larger hand sensory parts of their brain. People who play piano don't just have one hand that is strong inside of their brain. They actually have both hands. When you see someone who's just right-handed or just left-handed, inside of their brain, the motor region will actually be stronger and bigger depending on what hand it is that they use. When you look at someone that's a piano player, both of them are equal. Not because they were born that way, but because the actions that they took actually changed their brain. But your brain doesn't change unless you do something different. And doing something different is the definition of being out of your comfort zone, doing something

completely different, uncomfortable. And that's what I want you to realize. Your brain creates your thoughts. Your thoughts create your feelings. Your feelings create your actions or lack of action. Whatever actions you take or do not take will dictate the results in your life. And the results of your life is what creates your life. And so if you want to change your life, it all starts in the brain. It all starts with the thoughts. It all starts with noticing where you're trying to hold yourself back, noticing where that little voice pops up and noticing, hey, I've got to go at this. The only way to go past this thing is to go through it. I can't go over it. I can't go around it.

I can't go to left. I can't go to the right. I have to go through this thing. And so my assignment for you today is to try to seek discomfort, try to seek the things that make you uncomfortable. And when you notice that little bitch pop up inside of your head, become aware of it, say, ah, thank you, sir, for popping up because you're showing me the edge of my comfort zone. You're showing me the edge of where I am and I'm going to push past this even just a little bit. So therefore I can make sure that every single day, if I keep doing this a year from now, two years now, five years down the road, I'll be a completely different person because I

constantly was seeking things that were just a little bit outside of my comfort zone. So you have to realize you can never negotiate with your mind. You have to do what you know you should do. And when the little voice pops up, you have to do exactly what it tells you not to do. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.