The Mindset Mentor - One Big Key to Change Your Life

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dylann. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you want to receive an email from me every single Monday morning with some mindset help and some intentions going into each week to make it the best week you possibly can. Go to mondayemail.com right now. Once again, mondayemail.com. It's absolutely free. And I will just send you out an email each Monday morning to help you out. Today, I'm going to be giving you one big key to change your life. And if you can use, you can move this massive lever, it will change the way

Starting point is 00:00:46 that you walk into the world. Also change the way that you work on yourself and what you change in yourself as well. And to help you understand this, let me explain how I see most people try to change. Most people, if you go like, for instance, somebody wants to start working out. At one point in time, one day, someone walks into their bathroom, maybe they're naked, and they think to themselves, they look in the mirror and they think, what the fuck happened to my body? It's like, I used to be young. I used to be fit. I used to be in such great shape. Now I've got love handles. Now I've got a saggy butt. Now I've got all these issues. What the hell happened to my body? And they look at themselves and they actually become disgusted with their body.

Starting point is 00:01:29 And what happens is they start to hate their body. Like, I hate that it looks like this. I hate that I look this way. I hate that I let myself get here. I hate that I am not as fit as I used to be. So what do they do? They work out to try to change it. They're like, enough is enough.

Starting point is 00:01:44 I hate this ugly, flabby ass. I'm going to start working out. And they start working out and they work out and they work out the thing that they hate, right? And they eat differently and they try to change because they hate the way it looks and they want to change it because they hate it. And then they push themselves to try to change and try to eat better and try to work out and they do it. And majority of the time, it doesn't work for them. Not because working out doesn't work for them. Not because eating healthy doesn't work for them. It's because they come from it from the wrong place. And don't get me wrong. This can work, but it's so negative and it doesn't feel as good to go, you know what? Screw this body.

Starting point is 00:02:24 Screw the way that I look. I hate this thing. I'm going to work it. I'm going to change it, right? The way that this really came, I mean, I've seen it over and over and over again with people. I've done it myself, absolutely. But the way that I actually saw this really pop up was I was in an event one time and a lady stood up and she was probably 50 years old. And she was talking to the guy that was on stage. And he's like, what's your biggest goal for the year? And she's like, you know what? I want to get my J-Lo body back.

Starting point is 00:02:54 So she said, she's like, I want to get my J-Lo body back. I'm going to look good this year. She's like, because I just hate the way that I look now. And it was like a light bulb clicked in my head. And I was like, it's going to be really hard to change it if you hate it. And I started noticing that most people try to change it, whatever it is, because they hate it. They try to change their finances because they hate it. They try to change their career because they hate it. They try to change their relationships because they hate it. They try to change their body

Starting point is 00:03:19 because they hate it. But what if instead of coming from a place of hate, you actually came from a place of love? Now, you could still get the same outcome, which is the body that you want, but you're coming from two different places, just different strategy, right? So instead of, you know, waking up and hating what you see in the mirror, maybe you literally wake up, you see yourself in the mirror, and you think about what got you there. Because it's not your body's fault. It's your fucking fault. You're the one who did it, right? There was a lack of working out over an extended period of time. There was food that you were eating that you didn't know you should.

Starting point is 00:04:11 There was food that you were eating that you knew you shouldn't be eating. But there was also probably food that you were unaware was bad for you. And now you're aware because you've become more wise. You probably drank alcohol in certain times where you drank alcohol and you probably shouldn't have drank alcohol. Maybe you where you drank alcohol and you probably shouldn't have drank alcohol. Maybe you did some drugs in your life. So none of those things, not working out, food that you shouldn't have been eating, alcohol, drugs, none of those is your body's fault. is your body's fault. Whose fault is it? Yeah, it's our fault. Your body is still running pretty damn well for all that you put it through. And so think about that for a second. This is what I usually say. This is when people really light up and understand it. Think of all of the alcohol

Starting point is 00:05:01 that you've drank. Think about all of the drugs that you've done. Think about all of the shitty food that you've eaten. Think about all the times when you ate, you know, food that you weren't supposed to eat. You decided to skip something healthy and go for something greasy. You didn't give yourself enough water. You drink too much soda. Think of your entire lifetime. I'm 36 years old. I can think of an entire lifetime of things that I ate that I did, I was, I should not have eaten. Things that I've done that I should not have done. And realize that all of the beating up that you've done of your body, holy crap, this thing still runs pretty damn well. And so instead of looking at our body

Starting point is 00:05:40 and being like, fuck this, I don't like the way that I look. What if you became grateful because your body showed up for you for years when you didn't show up for it? Your body showed up for you when you didn't show up for it. So instead of hating it, how about you actually have some appreciation for it and some love for it and come from a place of that, come from that place to actually start to want to change it. So when you come from a place of love and gratitude, you want to take care of your body. You don't work out because you're like, oh, I got to get this flabby ass in shape. You work out because you're like, damn, my body's been showing up for me for 36 years. I need to at least try my best to do something for it today, right? You decide to go on a walk.

Starting point is 00:06:24 You decide to work out. You decide to eat healthy to give your body what it deserves versus what you've been giving it. Because think about this for a second. Let's say, for instance, that you have, well, let's just say money. You have an extra thousand dollars that you have to give to somebody. And one person is a person who you've known forever. They've always been there for you. They always help you out. If anything ever goes wrong, you know you can call them and they're going to come over to your house. And they're one of those types of friends. And you could give them the money. Or there's somebody who you've had a terrible

Starting point is 00:06:59 relationship with. If we're being honest with them, you don't like them at all. Maybe you work with them. They've talked behind your back. they screwed you over. You have your friend that you could give the money to, or you have this person that you have a terrible relationship with and kind of honestly hate. Who would you rather give that money to? Yeah, your friend who's been there for you. So it's the exact same way. If I want to show up, I want to show up for someone that I love versus someone that I don't. I want to show up for someone that I love versus someone that I don't. I want to show up for something that I love versus something that I don't. One comes from a place of hate. The other comes from a place of love. Which do you think is easier to keep? This is the key

Starting point is 00:07:37 point. Keep long-term. Place of love. Now, both of them can work. I know many people. I know myself. I have gotten in shape before because I hated the way that I looked. But that's a lot of force and force and force that you have to get yourself to. And eventually that becomes tiring. But if you start going from a place of, hey, I'm going to show up for myself and show up for my body and I'm going to work out because I love it and because it's done so much for me and I think that it deserves it. Both of them can work once again, but one of them is way easier and feels way better. One of the things we should all be focused on is living a life that lines up with our values. Putting your values first means making more informed and intentional choices, which can especially be difficult when it comes to investing your money.

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Starting point is 00:11:00 Let me give you another example. Let's say, you know, let's say you're a love life, right? Or let's do this instead. Let's say that you have your life in general, not even your life. Let's just say your life in general. You have things that have happened to you in your past. And you're like, I'm just fucking tired of where I am. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm pissed off. That can work. You can 100% work from that place. I've done it many times before where it's like, I hate where I am. I know that I did change my life many times because I hated where I was, right? You can come from that place and you can change from that place. I will tell you from personal experience that more than anything else, when you come from that

Starting point is 00:11:41 place, though, there is a lot of force that is required to come from a place of, I hate where I am. I want it to be different. I hate my bank account. I want it to be different. But when you come from a place of gratitude and wanting it to get better, it makes it so much easier. Now, some of you are listening and going, well, if I'm being honest, I don't really love my bank account. I've been there. I get it. I understand. You can hate your bank account and want it to change, or you can love your bank account and want it to change as well. But you can literally look at it and think, hey, I've got X amount of dollars in my bank account. I've got more than the average person does. I've got more than many people do. There's probably a billion other people on this earth, two, three, four billion people on this earth that don't have as much money as I do,

Starting point is 00:12:23 no matter where you are right now. If you're listening to this, you're probably in a pretty decent country and you probably have more money than the average person does across the entire world because many people across the entire world are very, very broke compared to you. So you can hate your current circumstances in life if you want to, or you can be grateful for it. And what I have found is when you come from a place of gratitude, you find more things to be grateful for. And the things that you're grateful for end up becoming even better. I don't know why it is. I don't act like I know how the universe works, but one thing that I do know about the universe is when you come from a place of gratitude and being grateful for where you currently are, the things that you're grateful for

Starting point is 00:13:03 become better. Your bank account, you can be grateful for the $74 are, the things that you're grateful for become better. Your bank account, you can be grateful for the $74 that you have in your bank account. And when you're grateful for it, it tends to get better. You can hate your life circumstance if you want to as well. You can hate where you live. You can hate the car that you drive. You can hate the money in your account. You can hate the people that you're surrounded by. You can hate your lack of opportunities. Or you can go, you know what? I love where I live. I do love my car. I do love the money in my bank account.

Starting point is 00:13:32 I'm grateful for the people I'm surrounded by. I'm grateful for the opportunities. And what happens is you can actually start to shift your mindset on every single thing that you have in your life and come from a different place of gratitude versus hate for everything that you have. Man, I'm so grateful for my body and the fact that it still works after all the shit that I put it through. I'm grateful for all of the challenges that I've had in my life. I'm grateful for all of the pain that I've had in my life. I'm grateful for all of

Starting point is 00:14:00 the people that screwed me over because they showed me X, Y, Z. And you can learn to literally flip everything. And now I don't want you to think this way. I don't want you to think like, hey, this is just positive thinking and we're going to forget about all the negative stuff. No, you're going to look at all the negative stuff and you're going to find a way to love it. And the reason why is because every single thing

Starting point is 00:14:22 has some sort of silver lining. You have to be the one to search for that silver lining though. Sometimes it's not as obvious, but in the long run, if you can learn to love and appreciate as much as possible, things end up working out. And so I'm not saying take a negative and turn it into a positive. I'm saying that when you come from a positive standpoint, usually it makes it much easier to work through those negative things. You can. It just makes it so much easier. Happiness is not found in getting what you want. It's found in loving what you

Starting point is 00:14:50 already have. And when you love what you already have and you show so much gratitude towards the things that you already have, they tend to grow and they tend to get better. If you focus on things that you hate and how much you hate them, you will normally find more things to hate. And that's just the way that life goes. But when you look at your body, what's your relationship with your body been? If you look at your life, what's your relationship with your life been? If you look at your finances, what's your relationship with your finances been? If you look at your business, what's your relationship with your business been? You know, one of the things that I've gone on a long journey of myself and money, I used to have a terrible relationship with it.

Starting point is 00:15:26 My psychology of money was all kinds of screwed up. And then what I realized is that, let me just, I'll take a step back and I'll tell you a story just to kind of hammer it home and make it click for you, okay? Let's say, for instance, that you've got a toy and there's child A and you give a toy to child A and it's a blue truck and you give him a blue truck and he's like, oh, blue. I hate the color blue. Oh, I hate the color blue. Oh, it's a truck. I hate trucks too. You're like, well, that's all I got. And he's like, whatever. All right, fine. He goes and plays with this truck and he slams it into other trucks and he scratches it and messes it up and knocks the wheel off of it and screws this whole thing up.

Starting point is 00:16:09 And then another little boy walks up and he's like, hey, can I play with your car? And he's like, can I play with your blue truck? He's like, no, doesn't share his blue truck, none of those things. And then he gets done playing and he leaves all of his crap, even his blue truck, he leaves it right there on the floor and goes off and does something else. That's child A. Then you have child B. Child B, you give him the blue truck and he's like, oh, well, you know, I don't really like the color blue, but thank you. And I'll play with it. And he goes and plays and he takes care of it and he's nice with it. He doesn't smash it. He doesn't

Starting point is 00:16:40 break any wheels off of it. Another little boy walks up and he's like, hey, can I play with your blue truck? And child B is like, yeah, here you go. And he lets him play with his blue truck. He lets him mess around with it and all that stuff. Then when he's done playing, he takes all of his toys and he puts them away. Next time you have the opportunity to give a toy to a child,

Starting point is 00:16:56 would you rather give it to the crappy child A or would you rather give it to the grateful child B? Easy answer. You'd rather give it to the grateful child, right? Of course. So if the universe has an option to give somebody money, do you think they're going to give it to child A or child B? Now let's think about who you are. Are you the type of person that is like child A, that when you get your check, you're ungrateful for it? Shit, it's not as much as I wanted it to

Starting point is 00:17:20 be. I'm pissed off. Why don't I make more money? And you're mad immediately when you get your paycheck. You don't share it with anybody. You hoard it. You keep it inside of your bank account. You don't pay attention. You don't have a budget. You don't know how much is going in, how much is coming out. You're not grateful for it. You don't stack it away and save it. Are you that person? Child A, as a grownup adult with money? Or are you child B? You get your paycheck. You're like, thank you so much. God, universe, whatever is out there. Thank you for letting me get another paycheck. I know there's not a lot of people that get this. You end up sharing it. Maybe there's a homeless person on the side of the road. You give them a couple of bucks, buy them a sandwich, whatever it is that you do. You end up putting it away,

Starting point is 00:18:05 you budget, you know how much is coming in, you have a plan of exactly how it's going to work. That's like child B. When you get paid and you think about money, are you more like child A or child B? I know the answer for a lot of people because usually I could see it in their faces when I talked to them about it. Most people are like child A. They're not grateful for it, they're pissed off, they hate it, all of that stuff. And so if God or the universe or source or whatever this is that is out there could give somebody more blessings of money or whatever it is, do you think they're going to give it to the ungrateful little shit? Or do you think they're going to give it to the one that is grateful, shares it, takes care of it? I know the answer to it. And so when

Starting point is 00:18:46 you actually start to think about the energy behind changing, the energy behind hating something, and the energy behind being grateful for something, you can actually start to see the easiest way to change something and to change something long-term is to learn to be grateful for it first, because when you're grateful for something, you appreciate something, you're more likely to take care of it long-term and actually make sure that you pay attention to what's going, if you look at your body, what's going in, what's going out, how it's working, how it's not working. So if you want to hate your body and try to change it that way, you can, and it can work. It's hard to do long-term though. But if you want to love your body, you're going to show up for your body for years and years and years and years and years and years,

Starting point is 00:19:27 simply because you're coming from a place of love. So if you want to change your bank account, if you want to change your body, if you want to change your finances, if you want to change your career, if you want to change your love life, find a way to be grateful for what you already have and those things that you are grateful for will end up becoming even better. You will get more blessings when you start with more gratitude. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And if you didn't know, we have a brand new Instagram for the podcast. It is The Mindset Mentor Podcast on Instagram. Once again, The Mindset Mentor Podcast.

Starting point is 00:20:05 We're sharing a bunch of stuff, clips from this, videos, all of that stuff. So if you enjoy the podcast and you want a little bit more of the podcast in your newsfeed, go ahead and follow me on there, The Mindset Mentor Podcast. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - One Big Key to Change Your Life

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