The Mindset Mentor - One Word Can Change Your Life

Episode Date: October 29, 2021

Use this word more often and I promise you, your life will change in many ways. Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you have not given us a rating and review yet on iTunes or Apple Podcasts, please take 30 seconds, a minute, pop out your phone, give us a rating and review. It helps the podcast more than you can possibly know because then it says to iTunes and Apple Podcasts, hey, this podcast seems to be doing really well. We should show it to more people. And that's how we continue to grow and impact more people. So I would greatly appreciate from the bottom of my heart if you go ahead and give us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or iTunes.

Thank you so much. Now we're going to dive in. So today, we're going to be talking about one word, one word that I think could completely change your life. And you guys all know that words are so powerful. They can literally change the state that you're in. They can change you. Like if somebody comes up to you and they say, I love you, it can change your state. You can feel like shit and they say it to you and you're like, man, I love you. It can change your state. You can feel like shit. And they say it to you and you're like, man, I was thinking on the wrong things. This is actually much more important. I feel different.

Someone comes up to you and like, hey, I love your shoes. I love your shirt. You have beautiful eyes. Someone can say something to you and change your internal state, can't they? Absolutely. So then you start to realize

what is it that we're saying to ourselves? What words are we starting to use with ourselves, but also other people as well? And if we dive into these, we can start to see some importance in there. Someone comes up to you, hey, your haircut looks amazing. Your hair color, oh my God, you look so handsome.

You look beautiful. Have you lost some weight? Are you getting some muscles? Like just somebody saying something to you can change your internal state. Or they can make you feel worse, right? Someone can walk up to you and say, I hate you. Someone that you love could say, I hate you. And you could feel okay and then be destroyed. You treat people like trash. No one respects you. You're never going to be good enough. You're never going to be smart enough, right? People can say stuff to you. They could use a derogatory word and completely

shift your state. And so I'm going to give you a very simple, super, super simple, but powerful shift to change your mind and the way you react to something. Because let me just ask you something. And think about this for a second. If someone were to come up to you and say, I hate you, and it's somebody that you really love and respect, how would that make you feel? And I'm not saying, what do you think about it? Internally, in your body, how would that make you feel for someone to come up and say that? Would it be a tightness? Would it be a heaviness? Would it be your shoulders slumping over? What if somebody says, hey, I love you so much? What would happen to your body then? What would be the feeling? Expansion instead of contraction. You feel good. You feel light. You

don't feel heavy. You don't feel contracted. It's the exact opposite, right? It can shift your internal state. It can also shift your body as well. And just think about that. Think about the words that you use and how they can change your state. I remember one time I was on a Zoom call and a lady was talking about how she was running her business and she was putting in so much effort. And she kept saying this phrase, she said it three times as she was explaining herself, I just feel like I'm hitting a wall. And I said, okay, hey, let's go ahead and talk about that real quick. I don't remember her name, but let's say her name's Nancy, right? Nancy,

I said, how does that make you feel to think that you're hitting a wall? And she's like, oh, it makes me feel agitated. I said, no, no, no. How does your body feel to think that you keep running into a wall? And she's like, how's it feel? It feels like heavy. I'm like, okay, where do you feel in your body? She's like, I feel it in my, like my, my shoulders, like my shoulders feel heavy. And I go, okay. And when you, when you feel heavy, you feel like your shoulders are contracted. Does that motivate you to go and run your business better? No, of course not. It makes me feel like I don't want to. Yeah. Because it's hard to run when something's heavy, right? And building a business in life, these things are both marathons. So then if it

feels heavy, don't you think that that's going to weigh you down? Don't you think that's going to slow you up? Don't you think that's going to be demotivating? Because you know, because of the fact that it's so heavy in your business, oh my God, it's going to take so much effort just to do anything. She's like, oh my God, that's right. How do you want your business to feel instead? She's like, oh, I want it to feel easy. Okay. What would that look like for it to be easy? Oh, I do this and I do this and I do this. Okay. And I started talking to her and you can literally see her on Zoom. Her body posture is changing. She's starting to use her hands more. She's speaking a little bit louder, a little bit more passionate. And I go, everybody on Zoom, do you guys see how her internal state, her thoughts

literally made her body and her gestures and her tonality change. Everyone's like, yeah, absolutely. I was like, that's the power of the words that you use to other people, but also the words that you use to yourself as well. And so when I listen to people, I listen very intently because words are a window to their subconscious. Every word that you use is a window to your subconscious. What's actually you use is a window to your subconscious. What's actually going on? Because we can say something, but in the background, something else completely can be happening. So I want you to think about this. How do you feel when you have to do something? How do you feel? How does it feel to have to do something? There's no other option. You have to do this. How does it feel

in your body? How does it feel? Think about this. I want you to answer this in your head. I obviously can't talk to you directly because you're not sitting in my house, but I want you to think about this. How does that feel in your body? I think that you have to do something. Now, it's like a straight jacket, right? It's like tight. For me, it feels like restrictive. It's like a tightness that's kind of in my chest and in my shoulders. It feels heavy. It doesn't feel like something that makes me feel good to have to do something. Okay, let me ask you another question. How does it feel to get to do something? To say to yourself, I get to do this thing. How does that feel inside of your body? Feels a lot more lighter, doesn't it? Feels a little bit more effortless, I get to do this thing. How does that feel inside of your body? Feels a lot more lighter, doesn't it?

Feels a little bit more effortless. I get to do this. And the difference between I have to do something, which is force, and I get to do something, which is freeing, the difference between the two is massive. They're night and day. When I get to do something, oh my God, what a blessing that I get to do this thing. I get to do this.

Now, think about something. Think about this. How often do you say, I have to do this? What are things in your life that you have to do? What are they? What are things that you say I have to do all the time? How do you feel about those things? Is it hard to motivate yourself to do those when you have to do something? How do you feel when

you think about them? Have you ever said, I have to work out today? You have to? Is there a fucking gun to your head? No, there's not a gun to your head, but you have to. Why is it so hard to get ourselves to motivate ourselves to go and work out sometimes? Because of the actual pressure that we're putting on ourselves inside of our heads with it. You have to work out today. You have to work out today. That doesn't feel good. I'm not motivated to go work out when I have to work out. Hey, the dirty little secret about the bedding aisle is that while cotton might be the most

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LinkedIn can help you reach your short-term and long-term business goals. So do business where business is done and get a $100 advertising credit towards your first LinkedIn campaign. Just visit linkedin.com slash dial. Once again, that is linkedin.com slash D-I-A-L. Terms and conditions do apply. But what about this? What about you get to work out? You get to work out today. I was walking on the street today. There was a lady that was in front of me that was in a wheelchair. She doesn't get to work out the same way that I do. What a freaking blessing that I get to do squats. What a freaking blessing that I get to do deadlifts.

What a blessing that it hurts like shit when I walk upstairs the next couple of days, right? Like when the next week, if you go really heavy, right? What a blessing. Because some people don't even feel that soreness inside of them. I get to work out. My body works.

That's a beautiful thing. It's have to versus get to. Man, do you feel like maybe a little bit more grateful for being able to work out now? Have to work out. That's constriction. Get to work out. That's freeing. That's expansion.

I have to get out of bed today. I have to get out of bed at 5 a.m. You have to. There's a gun to your head saying you have to get out of bed today. I have to get out of bed at 5 a.m. You have to. There's a gun to your head saying you have to get out at 5 a.m. or you get to get out of bed today because you know what? 150,000 people that were alive yesterday are not alive today. You don't have to get out of bed. It's a freaking privilege that you opened your eyes today. You get to get out of bed. How amazing. You get to breathe this air. You get to hang out with people. You get to give hugs and high fives and eat delicious food and drink water and all of that stuff. You get to get out of bed today. What a freaking blessing you get to get out of bed. What's the difference in, oh, I have to get out of bed at five and how that feels in your body versus I get to get out of bed. Amazing difference. Oh, I have to go to work.

Oh, I have to go to work. You have to, you don't have to do anything. You might need to go to work, but you don't have to. You can decide to stay at home and scroll on Instagram if you want to, which means there's not a have to. You get to go to work today. You mean people were fired in the past year, two years? You mean people are struggling? You get to go to work. Now, it might not be the job that you love that brings out the passion, your true potential, but you at least get to. Do you know how many people would love to be in your position? Oh, I have to go to the grocery store. You have to go there. You get to get food. Do you know how many people will die of starvation today, this year, because they don't have food? And we

get to go to a grocery store and like, we get to do so many different things. We can go there and we can buy water. There's some people that don't have water. We have so much water in America. We freaking poop in it. How crazy is that? Have you ever thought about that in your head? Like how amazing is it that we can literally turn on a faucet and water comes out of it. Some people have to walk miles and miles to go get it. And we don't have to go to the grocery store. We get to go to the grocery store. What a freaking blessing I get this. Some people don't have this. I should be grateful for what I have. I have to feed my children tonight. You have to. You get to. I

have to drop my kids off at school in the morning. You have to. I have to drop my kids off at school in the morning. You have to or you get to drop your kids off at school. If you knew the amount of entrepreneurs that I've worked with over the years that are so trapped in their business, one of the craziest things is one of their biggest goals, I kid you not, I heard this so many times it surprised me, is that they just want to be able to have a morning routine where they drop their kids off at school. They want that, but it's hard for them to do. So you got to think about that. You get to take your kids to school. Is it always the easiest? No. Kids are hard. They're going to scream. They're going to throw stuff. They're going to break things. But you get to. Do you know how many people's children died last year?

But you get to. Do you know how many people's children died last year? You get to take your children. Your children are healthy. They're happy. They're breathing. You don't have to do anything. You get to do everything. Think about how that changes the way that you start to see your life. When we say have to, it's a force. It's a straitjacket. It doesn't feel good. It feels restrictive. And every time we think about something restrictive, like if we just take working out, for instance, going back to the very first example, I have to work out. Why do people have so much resistance to working out? Not because of working out, but because of their mindset around working out. It's something that they have to do. No, you get to work out.

How amazing is that? Is it easy? Is any of the stuff easy that I said? No, it's not easy to work out. It's not easy to get out of your bed at five o'clock in the morning. It's not easy to go to the same job every single day. It's kind of easy to go to the grocery store, I guess. But it's not easy to take care of your children.

These things are not effortless. They require some work. But what they require is you shifting your viewpoint on them to a place of gratitude. Oh my God, how amazing is it that you get to do some of the things that you do? We're blessed. We don't think about this enough. We think about all the things that we don't have. We don't think about all the things that we do have. We live in a society of more and more and more and more. And we see people on Instagram who have more than us. And there will always be someone who has more money or more watches or more cars or more houses or whatever the hell that they have. They have more. But it's like that phrase where if you want true happiness, it's not getting what you want.

It's wanting what you have. It's having those things and going, this is what I want. It might not be this huge house, but it's a home that's filled with love. And I forget to look at that all the time. It might not be that I have the most amazing business at this point, and it's a little bit hard, but it does feed my children. You know, you can start to look at these things. You can start to look at it from a different standpoint. A lot of times when I work with business owners, it's not, you know, when their business is going downhill, it's not because of the fact there's anything wrong with their business. It's because their mindset around their business. They fell out of love with their business. They stopped appreciating it. They

stopped having gratitude towards it. Very similar thing for a lot of relationships. We start thinking about the bad of the person. They screwed this up. They screwed this up. And this happened versus thinking about all the things that you love about them, all the things they appreciate, how they're there for you, how they hold a safe space, whatever it is that they do for you. You know, when you have your children, can they be hard? Hell yeah, they can be hard.

The hardest thing to do in the entire world. And you can focus on that and you can have a low-key resentment towards your children. There's a lot of people that develop that. There's a lot of people that are listening right now whose parents had that and they had a low-key resentment towards them. Or you can look at them with so much gratitude and realize, looking around you, you might not have the best car in the world, but you got a car. You might not have the best house or the best apartment in the world, but you got a place to sleep. You might not have all the designer clothes, but you got something to wear. You might not have all of the best, fine, organic food and the highest of class, fine dining, but you've got something that gives you nutrition. And so you start to flip your mindset to going, man, I get to do this. I get to do this.

I get to do this. I get to sit here and I'll to do this. I get to sit here and, you know, I'll tell you this, this is a journey that I've gone on. I create so many podcast episodes. I've created so many in my life. And sometimes it's like, oh God, I got to go record a podcast episode because I got a plan. And then I got to, you know, come in here and be enthusiastic and try to express the way that I need to. And there was a little while where I was like, oh my God, I got to do this. I have to do this. I have to do this. And I was like, how blessed am I to be able to do this? How amazing is this to be able to do this? I'm going to record this and it's going to go out to millions of people. That was never a thing before. There used to be a time where if I

wanted to send a message to somebody on the other side of the world, I would have to send them a letter and that letter would have to go and somehow get to a boat. Then that boat would somehow hopefully come across the Atlantic Ocean, whatever ocean it's going across. And then it'd have to get into a carrier and then they'd have to hopefully

deliver it to that person. I can literally talk to somebody immediately no matter where they are in the world right now. That's a freaking blessing. That is amazing. How amazing is our lives that we can do this? How amazing is it? We get to do so many things, but the problem is we have blinders on from all the amazing things. Part of the things that the human mind does out of a place of safety is it looks for all of the bad in something. It looks

for a lot of bad in your life. It looks for a lot of bad in everything so that it can protect you. So if it's always looking for bad, it's always looking for negative. Knowing that that's how the brain is, I always say that a brain left up to its own devices is naturally going to go negative. Knowing that it's going to go negative and look for faults and look for things that are right and look for things that are wrong. Look for things that are wrong in your relationship or in your business or in your children. It's going to look for things that are wrong. We have to be very, very conscious and very, very intentional to bring into our lives all of the things that we have to be grateful for, all the things we have to be, all the gratitude that we have. There's so much gratitude we can

start ourself off with. And this is something I've been working on a lot. I moved into a house that I absolutely love. And after a couple months, it became very normal because I just woke up there every single day. And then I was like, I don't feel as grateful as the day I woke up. And it was my first day here. And I was like, oh my God, this place is beautiful. I'm so grateful to be here. And so every morning I have to literally set my intentions towards gratitude of what I have. And so I try to sit there and meditate on what I'm grateful for. It could be my house. It could be the weather. It could be my dogs. It could be my girlfriend. It could be anything that's out there I can be grateful for. And I can find something. It could be the fact that I have food. I have a pool. There's

grass that's growing. I have people that mow my lawn for me, so I don't have to worry. There's a million and one things to be grateful for. There's also a million and one things that I could look and be like, oh, shit's hitting the fan. But it's what I choose to focus on that makes it important. So what I want to bring up to you guys is that there's so much that you get to do. There's so many things that you need to learn to be grateful for and start looking through that lens. And one of the things I've been trying to do lately is if I notice myself get stressed or I notice myself thinking about all the busy stuff that I have to do, I sit back and I just go, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I just start saying, thank you. Not thank you for anything specific, but I just start saying, thank you. And as I'm

saying, thank you, all of these things pop into my head of all these things I have to be thankful for and grateful for. And I say, thank you. Thank you. And I don't know about God. I don't know about the universe, but I feel like there's some sort of thing that holds us all together. And I'm just saying, thank you to it. I say thank you for my challenges. Thank you for all of the shit that I went through when I was younger, all of the different things that have happened to me. Just thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And if I can focus on that point of gratitude, immediately I start to feel better and then better things start to come into my life. So you don't have to do anything, guys,

but you get to do so much and you have so much to be grateful for. I want you to remember that. So that's all I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. Rob Dahl Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better.

I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.