The Mindset Mentor - Overthinking is an Addiction

Episode Date: January 23, 2019

Episode 537 - Are you addicted to overthinking? You probably just think that overthinking is something that you do, but not that you are addicted to it right? Well, in this episode I am going to chat about how to overcome that addiction. Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to the Mindset and Motivation Podcast, one of the top motivational podcasts in the world. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, we come out with a short, to the point, no BS episode to help make massive changes in your mind and transform you from who you are now to who you want to be. My name is Rob Dial, and the podcast starts now. All right. Today, what I'm going to be talking about is something that I believe is absolutely mind-blowing when you start to understand it. And I've had it explained to me. I've always

kind of understood it, or at least when I started getting into personal growth, I understood it, but I never was able to eloquently explain it or had it really explained to me in a really good way up until I read this book as of recently called The Power of Now by Edgar Tolle. If you have not read it, I recommend it. It's awesome. But basically, what it talks about is your thoughts and how your thoughts are addictions. Your thoughts are addicting. And in reality, they're holding you back. And so let me dive into it. And this will start to make sense. And this is a very abstract, obscure topic. And so I'm going to do my best to explain to you. But if you can understand this, this could completely change your life. Okay. And the one thing that he says and the way that he explains it finally for me to understand it is he says the phrase,

I cannot live with myself any longer. He talks about how there was a point in his life where he was actually thinking about committing suicide. And he said to himself, I cannot live with myself any longer. And then he realized if I cannot live with myself, then there must be two of me, the I and the self that I cannot live with. Only one of them is real. So think about this real quick. There's two different people living inside you. You're not crazy. Don't worry This is this is this is the way it works There's the eye that he's seeing everything through and there's the self The person he's become or the thoughts that he's thinking that he cannot live with anymore Those can be changed

That self can be changed So if you think about it nothing that you do or do not do in your life can add or subtract from who you are. The self is a false construct of the mind. You are not your thoughts. You are not your mind. And this can be a shot at the ego, but your mind is a tool. It is like a hammer,

right? The only difference though, is it's hard to think of your mind as a tool because you can't see it, right? For instance, I'll give you an example, a tool, your hand would be a tool on your body. It is something that you don't always use, but when you need to use it, you can pick something up and use a fork or whatever it is that you need to do. Your hand is a tool, a part of your body. And it's easy to think of it that way because you're physically seeing it. Your mind and your thoughts, you can't physically see. So you have the feeling that your thoughts are you. So why do you want to observe and change your thoughts? Because your thoughts create your reality. And overthinking, thinking too much is a legitimate addiction. Overthinking is an addiction. What is an addiction? An addiction is something that you can no longer

control. It controls you. If somebody is an alcoholic, they can no longer control how much they drink. They are controlled by having to drink. So overthinking is also an addiction. It's something that you can no longer control. It controls you. It is not using your mind correctly. Most of us, we don't use our mind. We use our mind incorrectly. And in reality, if you really think about it, a lot of people just don't use their mind at all. They just let it happen. They let things happen to them. They act like they're not in control of it. And if you do that, your mind uses you. And I always, I always use this example. If I wanted to pick up my hand, my arm, and my arm started flapping all over the place and going crazy, you would think that there's something wrong with my arm. I would think that there's something wrong with my arm. Why? Because it's on my body and I'm in control of it.

So why do we think any different from our mind, which is on our body and we should be able to control? So let me dive into this and hopefully this will start to make sense. I know this kind of makes some sense, but let me dive into it so you guys can kind of understand. One phrase that he says is watch the thinker. Watch the thinker. The thinker is the voice that you hear in your head. We all have voices in our head.

We're not crazy. We all have voices that judge and think and say things and have empathy and say things in your head. We all talk to ourself in our head. That's the thinker. That's the voice that's inside of your head. So he says to watch the thinker. Here's the best part. You have the ability to stop that voice, those thoughts inside of your head and to sit back and observe them. That is the difference between the I and the self. observe them. That is the difference between the I and the self. You have the ability to listen to that voice, to listen to those thoughts. If you worry too much about the future, it is based on

your past and your conditioned mind. The result and the reason why people worry so much and the reason why people are not where they want to be is because they're viewing the future, what they want in the future through the eyes of the past. They say, I can't do that. They think I'm so worried that I can't go and hit my goals because they're looking at their past where they've never been able to hit goals that big. And what happens is that distorts your view of the future. And this is the reason why your mind can be your own worst enemy. So let me bring it back so this, what, so I can kind of make you understand what I mean by watch the thinker. Close your eyes real quick. And you know, this is only if you happen to be sitting down, if you're driving your car, please don't close your eyes. Um, but you could still kind of take part in this. Just don't close

your eyes. So if you're listening to my voice and it's not, um, you know, an emergency and you need to be, you know, driving your car would actually probably be something that I wouldn't want you to open your eyes or close your eyes. But if you're not driving your car and you can do it, close your eyes real quick. Just come along on this journey with me. Okay. If your eyes are closed, I want you to visualize in front of you a red triangle. Okay, see that red triangle. Think about that red triangle. Do you see it in your, do you see the red triangle? Okay, now I want you to make that disappear.

I want you to see a full moon in front of you. I want you to see that full moon. Do you see the full moon in front of you? It might be a little bit blurry, but do you see it? Okay, now make that disappear. See waves crashing in front of you. Do you see the waves crashing in your brain? Okay, now make that disappear as well.

You can open your eyes. So you're able to at least somewhat visualize, maybe a little bit blurry, a red triangle, a full moon and crashing waves. The observer of those are the same observer of your thoughts all day long. Just as you can make yourself see the red triangle, but you can also let go of the red triangle. You can let the red triangle come and go. You can also do the same with your thoughts. The person, the I, and I'm

not saying E-Y-E, I'm saying I as in I, the letter I, that sees the red triangle is the same I that sees and thinks about your thoughts. But the problem is most people don't detach themselves from their thoughts. They see themselves as their thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You are also not the red triangle. You are not the red triangle just as you are not your thoughts. You are also not the red triangle. You are not the red triangle, just as you are not your thoughts. You must consciously think and consciously view your thoughts all of the time and look at them. And I'll give you an example. Most of the time,

people are living unconsciously. They're thinking unconsciously. And 90% of what we do is just unconscious thinking, right? But you are also unconsciously breathing right now. If I say start, you know, you've been breathing this entire time. But if I say, listen, think about your breathing right now, slow your breathing down. You weren't consciously thinking about your breathing before until I brought your consciousness to your breathing. But if I tell you to slow it down and to consciously think about it, you are now consciously thinking about your breath. And that's exactly how it works with your thoughts. You're not consciously thinking about them all the time, but now that you know that you're the observer,

you can consciously make yourself be more conscious to what would be unconscious thoughts. make yourself be more conscious to what would be unconscious thoughts. You can free yourself from your mind. You can be there and you can observe it. But the best part is just exactly like the red triangle. You were able to change it based on what you want to think about, based on what you want to see. So what do I mean? If you had the red triangle in front of you and I said, make it disappear and pull up the full moon, you're able to do that. If you have a thought that you don't like, guess what? It is not you. You are able to remove it and then put another thought in that place, just as you did with the red triangle being replaced by the moon. But another thing that I want you to realize is this, and I always say, you can't control your first thought, but you can always control your

second thought. One thing I don't say a lot is this, and I always say, you can't control your first thought, but you can always control your second thought. One thing I don't say a lot is your first thought when it comes into your mind, don't judge yourself based on your first thought because your first thought is a reaction thought based on your past. Your first thought is a reaction thought based on things that have happened to you in your past, things that have happened to you, the ways you've been treated, your upbringing, the people that you've been around, nature, nurture, all of those things. Do not judge your first thought just as if you wouldn't base, you should not judge yourself based on your thoughts as well. So when you watch or listen to your thoughts, you are aware of your thoughts as the listener.

So just as you were the watcher, the observer of the red triangle, you are also the observer of your thoughts, allowing yourself to realize that you are not your thoughts. You then detach yourself from what you are thinking and realize that you are not your thoughts. Part of the problem with a lot of people with all of their overthinking is that they think that they are their thoughts. They think that they are their emotions. No, you're able to detach yourself away from them.

But once you do this, just as you view the red triangle, become the observer, you can then become the observer of your thoughts and realize, wait, so all of the problems, all of the things that I think about, all of the overthinking, all of the worry, that's actually not me. That is just unconscious thinking that I can now become conscious of and start to control. So the question that you might be asking yourself is,

holy crap, well, how do I start to control my mind? Well, when you're doing, this is a great way to do it. When you're doing a mundane task, things that you do daily, things you do all of the time, bring your thoughts and your mind to the present and focus on what you're doing. So for instance, let's say that you went to the bathroom and you're washing your hands, right? Bring your mind to the mundane task, the thing that you do all the time, to the washing your hands. So instead of allowing your brain to think about whatever it's going to think about for later on

in the day or what you have to get done or your to-do list or all of those things, bring your mind, control it, wrangle it, and make your mind think about just what's happening with washing your hands, with the sound of the water, with the smell of the soap, with the warmth of the water. When you're eating your food, another mundane task, instead of thinking about all of the soap, with the warmth of the water. When you're eating your food, another mundane task. Instead of thinking about all of the other stuff that you could think about, how about just thinking about the crunching, the sound that it makes inside of your head, the taste, the flavor, how warm it is or how cold the food is, whatever it is. When you're walking up the stairs, that would just be normal. Why don't you think about

the fact that the way the railing feels in your hand or the way your feet feel as you walk up these stairs? And what you're doing is you're not allowing your brain to go all over the place. You're going back to living in the present moment, which is essentially living through the eyes of a three-year-old, right? The place that we all want to get back to. If you've ever hung around three-year-olds, they're the coolest people in the world. Why? Because everything is amazing to them. Everything is amazing to them. We want to get back to them. The reason why is because a three-year-old is not worrying about the future. They're not worrying about paying their bills. They're not thinking about all of the things that they have to do. They are living in the moment, which is what we are trying to do.

If you think about your dog or your cat, the reason why people love dogs and cats is because they are living in the present moment. Three-year-olds, dogs, and cats are essentially what we all want to go back to being, correct? We want to be there. So bringing yourself to the present moment in mundane tasks will bring joy to you because you're basically bringing yourself to the present moment, not focusing on anything else. And you are allowing yourself to focus on just the one thing that's happening. And that's where things start to get really good. That's when joy starts to come back into your life. So the whole point is that you're trying to disidentify yourself from your mind. You disidentify from your mind.

You are not your mind. You are not your thoughts. Just as I am not my hand, you are not your hand either, right? That'd be crazy. Well, I'm my hand. No, your hand is a part of you, right? Your mind is a part of you. You are not it. Your sense of self should not come from your mind. And this can be a shot at your ego because your ego is a false construct of your mind and your ego is based off of everything that you've done in the past or that you think that you've done in the past. So is it hard to let go? Yeah, it's hard to let go because your ego wants to hold on to it, right? Some of you are listening to this and I know it's hard to let go because

some of you are thinking, no, no, no, but he doesn't understand me. He doesn't understand. I have kids. I have baseball practice I have to go to I have baseball practice. I have to go to, I have these things I have to go to. I have these are the things I have to do. He doesn't know what I've been through. He doesn't know all of this. He doesn't know my life. And it's crazy to think about how much we hold on to the things that we hate, right? The ego, the problems, right? That's our badge of honor. You're overthinking, you're multitasking, you're the things that you've been through. That's your badge of honor. How hard it is for us to let go of that badge of honor. Why? Because that's our ego. That's our accomplishment. We got past

those things in our past. We are a great parent. We are busy. We are doing all of these things. That's your badge of honor, right? This could be a shot at your ego, but you have to realize that ego is just a false construct of your mind. So do you need extra proof that you are not your thoughts? Absolutely. Let me give you another one. If you stopped thinking right now, would you still be alive? Yes, you would. You would still be alive. So therefore, those thoughts, your mind, are not you. You would still be alive if you stopped thinking. Just as if my hand is waving to somebody and I stopped it from waving, I would still be alive. It's just a tool. My hand is a tool to be able to do something. Your mind is a tool to be able to do something as well. Therefore, your thoughts are just something that your body does. What you're

trying to get to is a place of what they call no mind. And this is, I understand some of this is kind of spiritual. Some of this is, you know, esoteric and all of these things, but you're trying to get to a place of no mind where you're not thinking. They also call it a flow state. Creative people create from a place of no mind, right? Where they're completely 100% present in the zone is another way of thinking of it and nothing else is going on. If you think of Michelangelo and all of the amazing artists, I'm sure that Michelangelo, who was doing the Statue of David, was not thinking about other things as he was doing the Statue of David.

He had to be in the moment, in a flow state, in a place of no mind where he is completely in the zone. That's what you're trying to get to. And what you'll notice is, once again, how do you get yourself to this? You bring your mind back to, when you start to do mundane tasks, you bring your mind back to that you start to do mundane tasks, you bring your mind

back to that one thing that you were doing. Think about it and find a way to bring joy. And the great part about it is if you're understanding this and you're really deeply understanding it, you should already start to feel some joy realizing that you are not your thoughts. You are not your mind. And just as you can make the red triangle disappear You are not your mind. And just as you can make the red triangle disappear with time, it won't happen right away. I promise you that. But with time, you can make your negative thoughts and the bad thoughts and the ones that you want to get rid of disappear as well. So if you liked this episode, please do me a favor, share it with someone that you know, someone that you love. And if you would just share with one person that you know would get a

lot from it, our actual downloads and listens in one day would double. So if you would do that for me, if you get some value from this, please do not take this value to your grave. Give it to somebody else as well. Give them the share. But with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day. Well, that's it for today's podcast. If you want the show notes for this episode, they can be found at mwfmotivation.com.

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