The Mindset Mentor - Perfectionism Sucks

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I am your host, Rob Dylen. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you live in the United States or Canada and you want to receive motivational text messages from me directly to your cell phone, text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. Today, we're going to talk about why your perfectionism is ruining your productivity and destroying the dreams that you want to create. And not too long ago, I created an episode on perfectionism, talked to you about how perfectionism is complete BS. But today I want to talk to you about why your perfectionism is actually killing the productivity that you're trying to create in your life.

Starting point is 00:00:54 And, you know, I'll give you a quick review of what I talked about in an episode. Perfectionism, it's not real. It doesn't exist. Everybody, pretty much almost everybody, thinks that they're a perfectionist. So if you're sitting out there and you're like, well, I think I'm a perfectionist. Well, join the club. We all think that we're perfectionists, but really what it is, perfectionism is a mask that you wear for all of your fears. It's not that you want to be perfect. It's that you're really afraid of being judged. It's not that you want to be perfect. It's that

Starting point is 00:01:23 you feel like you're not good enough. It's not that you want to be perfect. It's that you feel like you're not good enough. It's not that you want to be perfect. It's that you're afraid that you're going to put your heart out there and do this thing that you truly want to do, and maybe you're going to get rejected. So what you do is you hide behind this feeling or this saying of, well, I'm just a perfectionist. And I'll give you an example of what I mean. My favorite example is if you think of an artist, right? A painter.

Starting point is 00:01:49 And you go over to your friend's house and they're this incredible artist. And you find all of these things. It's like a side room. And you're like, holy crap, who did all of these? Did you do all of these? And they're like, yeah. And you're like, why did I never know that you were an artist? And they're like, well, you know, I'm not, not everything's, it's not perfect yet. And you're like, what if you just, what if you just put all of it online and you just started to sell it on Etsy or what if we did like a local show and you could have an art show and people can all come and see the stuff and they're like, no, no, no, it's not perfect yet. There's still a few things I want to work on. I want to make sure these are perfect before I put it out there. What's happening is it's not that they want to be perfect. What's

Starting point is 00:02:19 happening is that they're afraid that if they put their art out there, that they'll be judged. Like they're afraid that maybe they're going to do this art show. And then somebody's going to walk by and be like, oh, that's ugly. And they're going to overhear it. Or they're afraid that they're going to put the prices up there for people to be able to buy. And someone's going to walk by and say, that's $1,000. I wouldn't pay 50 bucks for that. And then they get destroyed because of the fact that somebody says that, because they have that rejection, because they hear other people's opinions, because of the fact that they feel like they're not good enough. And someone just proved to them, boom, you're not good

Starting point is 00:02:53 enough. And so when you think of the artist in that way, it shows you, oh, it's not perfectionism that's the actual thing. It is the fear of being judged or rejection or other people's opinions are not being good enough for whatever it is they might be. And the reason why your productivity is being killed by your perfectionism is because you're not starting or you're waiting for the perfect moment as if the sky is going to open up and God's going to be like, hello, John, I've created the perfect moment for you to finally start your business. That's not going to happen. It doesn't exist. It will never happen. The sky will never part.

Starting point is 00:03:28 God won't come down and be like, hey, John, now is the time to start your Etsy store or whatever it is that you want to do, right? So what we do is we say, oh, it's not the right time. Maybe I'll wait till the kids get older. Oh, it's not the right time. I'm still really busy at work and in six months, I'm going to have enough time. No, but what happens is we're looking for the perfect moment or we're not taking action because it's not the perfect time. And meanwhile, someone else with way less talent and way less skill than you is getting ahead of you because they're simply starting and they're simply taking action when you're sitting around in your hands. You don't have to be a genius to be successful. You don't have to be amazing at most things to be successful. I have some people that I've met, if I'm being honest with you, they're extremely

Starting point is 00:04:15 successful. And I look at them and I'm like, are they even home? Are the lights on? It's kind of like the lights are on, but no one's home. It's like you realize, man, you don't really have to. If you want success, whatever success means for you, whether that's happiness or love or being just rich as hell or traveling the world or raising amazing children or love or peace or joy, whatever success means to you, if you want success and you want to go and create the life that you want to, you just have to go and work towards it. And the majority of people who have massive amounts of success usually are not good at many things. They're actually usually not good at more than a couple things. And they're really good at

Starting point is 00:04:53 one thing. And somehow they mastered that one thing and that turned them into this extremely successful, extremely wealthy person. That's what's really crazy about it. We have this opportunity. I think that one of the things that people sleep on the most is as a human, we have the opportunity to master something. And you can't master many things in your life, but you can dedicate your life to mastering one thing. If you think of the people who were just world changers, if you think of people who, let's take music for an example, people who stand out, who are just completely different. Like Jimi Hendrix, for instance, he just found this thing and he was obsessed with it. And he would just play this thing all day long. You know, it was just an obsession. That's what his obsession was. You

Starting point is 00:05:41 know, and you look at other people who are just like amazing comedians, for instance, you look at like Jerry Seinfeld, or you look at like Dave Chappelle or whoever it is that's your favorite comedian, that's someone who just found something, fell in love with it, and they went, this is what I want to dedicate my life to. This is what I want to master. What is the thing that you want to dedicate your life to that's just so interesting to you that you're like, I want to go and work on that thing. Because there's never going to be a perfect time to start it. Right now is the perfect time.

Starting point is 00:06:09 Every single second that you've been listening to this podcast is the perfect time to start whatever it is you've been wanting to start. Every single second from now until the minute that you die will be the perfect time to start. There will never be a golden second where it pops up. Every single one of them is better. And here's the thing. All you have to do is start. And then you don't strive for perfection. You strive for progress. Just trying to get a little bit better today.

Starting point is 00:06:36 All you have to do is just ask yourself, hey, did I get better today? Before you go and you put your head on that pillow, did I get better today at this thing? Did I get better at it? What's that thing that you want to get better at? If you want to start that business, you're not going to learn how to be a great business owner until after you run your business. That's for sure. Like if I could go back to Rob six years ago when I started my business, we'd be completely different people. And I could give him a whole lot of tips. But it isn't things that I've learned from reading in books. It's things I've learned from actually going out and doing it. It's the same way for every single thing that you want to do, no matter what it is. And getting something done, once again, you got to strive for progress,

Starting point is 00:07:18 not perfection. Just get a little bit better every single day. Getting something done is better than continuing to work on it because it's not perfect. Done is better than perfect. One of my first mentors used to always, she used to have literally behind her desk, she had a sign that said done is better than perfect. And with people who work with me, what I always say to them is I don't want anything to be perfect. I don't care if anything's perfect. If it's 90% done, it's done. Because what happens is you can spend, you know, if you're working on something, let's say that someone's working on, you know, editing something for us to put on Instagram, right? We could get it to 90% done,

Starting point is 00:07:54 which is pretty much done, but not like perfect, perfect. There's a few extra little teeny tiny things. And it might take an hour to get one thing done to 90%, but it might take another two hours to get it quote unquote 100% done, 100% perfect. What's better? I would rather have somebody create one piece of content in an hour and then two more over the next two hours versus spend three hours trying to get something to 100%. Done is better than perfect. That little extra 10% will take you a long time. If I'm being honest with you, some people, that extra 10% will take you a long time. If I'm being honest with you, some people, that extra 10%

Starting point is 00:08:28 will take you the rest of your life. Where you're like, oh, this painting that I've created, it's good, but it's not perfect. I could still get the changes and a little bit different. Just get it out. Just finish the painting, throw that shit on a wall and try to sell it to somebody, right?

Starting point is 00:08:43 Just whatever it is you just gotta do. And that's the beautiful thing about art. You know, there's some people that are like perfectionists and artists, and there's some people that are some of the greatest artists that have ever exist. And there's so many imperfections in the music that they make, in the paintings that they have. But the beauty of what they do is actually in the imperfections, and they know that. And it's the difference in life of trying to get your entire to-do list done versus just checking off the number one most important thing. Hey, today's program is brought to you by Athletic Greens, the health and wellness company

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Starting point is 00:11:31 slash dial for your $75 credit before April 30th. Indeed.com slash dial. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? You need Indeed. Like what really matters? Trying to finish the entire to-do list or checking off the most important thing every single day? If you want me to be honest with you, what matters is the number one most important thing every single day. Imagine if every single day you just got the most important thing done. Whatever that thing is. If you're trying to start a business, what's the most important thing that has to be done today to move the needle? And you want to think of it like needle moving activities. I was researching this because I was curious of like, where did needle moving come from? Because I always say like, what's

Starting point is 00:12:12 going to move the needle today? What actually comes from is when you look at a speedometer and you look at how fast you're going, when you're going zero miles an hour, the needle's not moving. But when you go two miles an hour, at least the needle's moving. When you're going 90 miles an hour, at least the needle is moving, right? As long as you're not going zero miles an hour. If you're just going two miles an hour, it's needle moving. It's a needle moving thing. But there's some things that just move the needle a whole lot more than other things. And so what's the most important thing that has to be done today? Can you just check that off every single day?

Starting point is 00:12:45 One of the tips that I give people, you may have heard this if you've been listening to the podcast for a long time, it's super simple. Life is simple. We make it so damn hard and it's really not hard. It's just like, hey, what do you want in your life? Decide what it is, okay? What do you have to do to get it done?

Starting point is 00:12:59 Okay, just do it. Stop thinking about it, just do it. And so one of the things that really helps people make it super simple, write out your to-do list every single day and then take a three by five card, you know, an index card, there's, you know, three by five cards, cue cards, whatever those things are called. And what you do is you write down, this is my most important thing for the day. And you write that thing down. And then you say, this is my second most important thing for the day. And you write down, and this is my third most important thing for the day. And you write down number one, number two, and number three.

Starting point is 00:13:26 That's it. I don't care about anything else in your to-do list. What's number one? What's number two? What's number three? And you take your to-do list and you just leave it on your desk or put it somewhere else, put it inside of the drawer. Then you take that index card, the three by five card, and you put it in your back pocket

Starting point is 00:13:40 and you bring it with you in your goal for the day. All you have to do, get the first thing done. That's it. I'm not worried about number two. I'm not worried about number three. I'm worried about number one. And then once number one is done and it is crossed off of your list, now move on to number two. Don't go number three. Don't try to work on all two of them at once or three of them at once. Work on one at a time until the first one is done. And then the second one is done. And the third one is done. What it really comes down to is you have to just have a GSD attitude. Get shit done. You just got to stop thinking and start doing. Too many people are just sitting around and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking.

Starting point is 00:14:18 It's just like digging a hole in your backyard. You can work really hard at, you know, thinking, but in the end of the day, you just have a hole in your backyard. That's not going to do anything for anybody. You'll never be fully ready for anything. And you don't even have to hit the, like the beautiful thing about taking action, you don't even have to fucking believe in yourself at all. Like you don't have to believe that you can do it. And actually, you know, you don't have to believe that you'd be a massive success to just start taking action right now. Like you don't have to believe that you can be a massive success to just start taking action right now. You don't have to believe in yourself. When I used to have sales reps that worked in my office 15 years ago when I was training them, they were like, I don't know if I'm going to make sales. I'm like, it doesn't matter if you're going to make sales. All you have to do is just pick up

Starting point is 00:14:57 the phone and push some buttons. And eventually someone's going to answer the phone and just read what's in front of you and see if they want to buy it. That's it. You don't have to believe in yourself in order to take action. I'm aware of this idea of, well, I don't believe in myself yet, so I can't take action. That has nothing to do with anything. You have to be fully aware that you're going to mess up. You have to be okay with messing up. I'm fully aware that I'm going to screw up most things throughout the day. The creator of Honda said that success is 99% failure. Well, that's pretty cool because all you got to do is just go, hey, let me go mess up today. Because you mess up and you figure out what doesn't work. And when you figure out what doesn't work, you cross it off the list of something that you'll never do again. And then you cross the next

Starting point is 00:15:36 thing off the list of things you'll never do again. And eventually you just figure out what works. And you just mess up every day, multiple times a day. People want to avoid messing up each day. No, you want to get to the messing up each day because then you can figure out how to do it right. And if we're being 100% honest, like 100% honest, perfectionism is usually just a case of a frail ego. That's it. It's usually just a case of a frail ego i don't want someone to judge me i don't want someone to reject me i don't want someone to tell me that i'm not good enough or that my product sucks or that my paintings are not great or that my music sounds like claws on a chalkboard right nothing is going to be perfect who cares what other people think of you as long as you're just

Starting point is 00:16:21 doing that thing that you want to do that's all that really matters because nothing in this world is ever perfect there's no such thing as perfection. To try to strive for perfection is ridiculous. When you walk outside of your house, go look at all the trees around you and identify where the perfect tree is. It doesn't exist. There's no perfect tree. There's trees that have branches coming out a little bit too far. There's trees a little bit too fat. There's trees a little bit too skinny. There's trees a little bit crooked, is coming out a little bit too far. There's trees a little bit too fat. There's trees a little bit too skinny. There's trees a little bit crooked, right? What is perfection is they are perfect in their imperfections. So go mess it up. Like go fuck it up, buttercup. That's all you have to do.

Starting point is 00:16:55 That's the only way that you can prove. Go fuck it up, buttercup, and you'll figure out how to get better from there. Incorrect action is better than no action at all. Doing something wrong is better than doing nothing because incorrect action will eventually uncover what needs to change to create correct action. Think about that for a second. Most people are afraid of going out and messing up. No, I would much rather you go out and mess up and mess up and mess up and mess up because incorrect action is better than no action at all. So what do you have to do then? You have to get up. You have to get off the couch.

Starting point is 00:17:32 You have to stop looking at Instagram. You have to stop telling yourself you're not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, whatever it is you're saying to yourself. You have to stop listening to this podcast episode. Stop listening to me, turn it off. Go out there and just get some shit done because that's what really actually truly matters. So that's what I got for you for today's episode.

Starting point is 00:17:49 If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The only way that this podcast grows is from you guys sharing it. So I greatly, greatly appreciate it every single time you share it. I greatly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. And if you listen to me on Spotify or iTunes, Apple Podcasts, do me a favor, give us a rating and review. It helps more than you could possibly imagine. The more positive rating and reviews that we get, the more they actually start to show this to other people and this can be found organically. So if you would do that, I would greatly appreciate it. It'll take you like 15 to 30 seconds. So other than that, I'm gonna leave the same way I leave you every single episode,

Starting point is 00:18:28 making sure mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - Perfectionism Sucks

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