The Mindset Mentor - Reliving Your Darkest Times

Episode Date: July 29, 2019

Episode 625 - Most of us want to forget the worst and darkest times of our lives, but what if I told you there was massive benefits to reliving your hardest memories? Listen in to this episode and I'll tell you why! Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to the Mindset and Motivation Podcast, one of the top motivational podcasts in the world. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, we come out with a short, to the point, no BS episode to help make massive changes in your mind and transform you from who you are now to who you want to be. My name is Rob Dial, and the podcast starts now. Welcome to today's episode. If you have not yet done so, please hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. Today, what I'm going to be talking about is something kind of interesting. It's about going back and reliving your memories.

So I've had a few conversations with a few different coaching clients, some of my one-on-one coaching clients in the past few weeks. And I had one conversation specifically, and I got the permission from her to talk about this. I won't tell you her name, but I got permission to at least tell you about this story. Okay, and one thing that is very, very important for us is to go back and relive memories that we had when we were children. Because here's the thing,

a lot of times we don't realize that we're still carrying emotional residue with us from something that happened early in our childhood. So maybe it was our parents said something or our brother or sister said something, or we got into a fight and lost and everybody got to see it, or somebody broke up with us, or maybe it was just one event, one little tiny thing that happened when you were a kid, but it actually made a huge, huge difference in your life the way it is today. And you won't ever 100% get past it unless you go back and relive it through the eyes that you have now, your mature

eyes. And so I'll give you a couple of examples. And the main example I'll give you is this. I have a coaching client and she was talking about how in my group coaching, I have a few video lessons on the psychology of money, how to fix, how to make more money, how to attract more, how to save more, how to budget. But more than anything else, just the psychology of money, because you will not make money if your psychology with money is screwed up. That's the important thing to learn. And the reason why I have, I think, five or six videos just on the psychology of coaching

in my group coaching, I'm sorry, the psychology of money in my group coaching is because it is this important. And in one of the videos, I talk about your very first paycheck and how your very first paycheck, it's amazing for most people. And you feel so grown up finally to be able to get your first paycheck on your own. And it's usually a positive memory. And so she brings it up and says, actually, with my first quote unquote paycheck, my first real relationship with making money, what actually happened was it was a very terrible thing. What happened was when I was a kid, I was about six or seven years old. I went and picked blueberries with my father for

a long time. It felt like forever. We went and picked some, sorry, blackberries. We packed, oh goodness, I need to slow down a little bit. I'm getting into this story because I know how it ends. So, so, so what happens is she, she goes and picks blackberries with her father. They pick five, you know, the big five gallon bucket. They pick the entire five gallon bucket and she, they, they got this entire bucket. It felt like it took forever. And then she went and her father sold that five-gallon bucket just a little bit later to a neighbor down the street. And she remembers being so pissed off about the fact that he sold the bucket where they just worked so hard for it. And how could he go and he could sell the entire bucket that they just worked so hard for? Right. And so her real first relationship with making money was a negative one because she was mad that he only got $5 for it. And then he said to her, well, how much do you think I should have

gotten? And she said, well, you should have gotten at least 10. And so what happened was she's had this relationship with money, a bad relationship with money ever since that happened. So, you know, 24, 25 years, however long it's been, she's had a bad relationship with money and it seems like a little teeny tiny thing, right? But it could be this tiny little bit of emotional residue that's just been building up and building up and building up for 20 or 25 or 30 years or however long it's been that these tiny little things have been going through your head. This emotional residue has been building up and building up for 20 or 25 or 30 years or however long it's been that these tiny little things have been going through your head. This emotional residue has been building up.

And so she still had emotion attached to it. You could tell by her voice, she had emotion attached to it. And so I said to her, okay, so what year do you think this was? And she said, it was about 1991. And I said, okay. And so how long do you realistically think it took you to pick all of these blackberries? She's like, it felt like forever, but maybe it was about an hour. I said, okay. And I went online as we're on the phone together. And in 1991, the minimum wage was $3 and 35 cents, right? She only worked an hour at six or seven years old and made $5, right? She made more than someone that could have been three or four times her age working at McDonald's or some other place. She made more in an hour than they would have. And when I said this to her, you could tell it

was like a, oh, holy crap. I never even thought of it that way. Because sometimes it takes just looking at something from a different perspective to completely change your thoughts and the way you think about something and completely change your outlook of something and the way it happened in your life. And so what happened was immediately she realized, holy crap, I've been pissed off about this, or this has been just kind of lingering for a really long time. But in reality, my dad was able to hustle and get me more money, which proved with hard work, you get paid more money. The other thing he was teaching that she missed as well was the art of negotiating. He said to her, how much do you think we should have gotten? She's like, we should have gotten $10, right? He was teaching her the art of negotiating. And so she's had this emotional baggage, this emotional pain just with money. And it's been holding her back in some sort of sense from making more money or from

attracting more, from saving more. Because sometimes we can make a lot of money, but if we have a bad relationship with it, we get rid of it. We spend it. We can't save. We're not good at saving. We're not good at budgeting, none of those things because we have this bad relationship with money and we want to try to subconsciously get rid of it because of how much negative is associated with that from something that happened in our past. And so to go back and relive this memory from her more mature self 25 years later down the road, she's able to look at it and go, wow, that could have really messed me up in my mindset with money. Now she can go back and relive those certain things. And so what I want to ask you is this, what memories do you need to go back and relive?

What memories do you need to go back and pull positivity from? Or what memories do you need to go back and realize that was actually a big turning point in my life and put positivity and make it a learning lesson from that one thing? What do you need to go back and relive? Here's the thing. I get it. There's a lot of people out there who are listening that have had some painful, painful experiences. Me too. But guess what? If something happened to you that was terrible when you were seven years old and you don't go back and relive it now, I'm 31 now, right? If something happened to me that was terrible when I was seven years old and I don't go back and

relive it right now, I will forever be living and remembering that one event as a seven-year-old with my limited brain at that time, with my limited knowledge, with my limited knowledge of self-help and all of these things and the way the world works, I will forever, if I don't go back, even if it's super painful, if I don't go back and relive it, I will forever be reliving that and thinking about it my entire life as a seven-year-old. Wouldn't you much rather go back as a me now, I can go back and look at life as a seven-year-old. Wouldn't you much rather go back as a me now, I can go back and look at something as a 31-year-old that has 24 more years of life experience and relive something. So it can be hard. It can be painful. It can feel like you're

reopening a wound, but it's kind of like you're reopening a wound to actually bandage it up the correct way this time. Think about that for a second. Sometimes we have emotional scars, we have wounds, and we don't want to go and reopen them. But sometimes you need to go back and you need to re-bandage it. You need to repair it the correct way now that you're older. And so if you're listening to my voice, when we get done with this, don't listen to the podcast and just turn it off. Turn it off and then think about it. Think about what do I need to relive? What do I need to go back? What do I need to journal about? If there's something painful that happened to you in your past, can you journal about it and figure out what emotions you're attaching to and what emotions you should attach to it or how that could have actually been

a life lesson or what good came from it? Even if it's the worst possible thing that could have actually been a life lesson or what good came from it. Even if it's the worst possible thing that could have happened to you, what good could have come from it? Try to relive these things as your older, mature self, and you will start to notice that your life will start to change because of the fact that you're not being held back by these little tiny things that happened to you in your past or these big things that happened to you in your past. That's how you start changing into the person that you want to become. So if you like this episode, please share with someone that you know, someone that you love. We're trying to get this podcast to grow. We're trying to get every single person in the world to listen to us. And not because of the fact that we want to toot our own horns and say,

hey, look, X amount of millions of downloads. It's because of the fact that I truly believe that every person should hear this stuff and should know this stuff. And I think that if you share it, it would be amazing. So please share this with someone that you know, someone that you love, and I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I absolutely appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.