The Mindset Mentor - Stop BS’ing Yourself

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

Let's face it, we all struggle with: negative self-talk and overthinking, but being honest, the only thing holding us back from living our best lives is the stories we tell ourselves in our heads. But fear not, because you will learn a super simple trick that can help you break free from that cycle of doubt and worry, doing this I guarantee you can bring yourself back to the present moment where all the magic happens.So join me as we stop the BS and start taking action towards the life we truly want. And hey, if you love what you hear, be sure to spread the word and share this episode with your friends. My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast, the number one mindset podcast in the entire world, thanks to each and every one of you that listen weekly. If you're the type of person who's out there and you're trying to grow yourself and you're trying to improve your life, go ahead and hit the subscribe button if you're not already subscribed. Every single week I come up with four episodes to help you learn, grow, and improve yourself so that you can create the life that you want to. So go ahead and hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode. Today I'm going to talk to you of why you should stop BSing yourself all the time.

If you don't like cussing, this is not the episode for you because I am going to probably say the word bullshit quite a lot, right? I'm going to talk to you about how to stop all the bullshit, how to stop all of the BS that goes on in your mind that is so ridiculously unnecessary and it's holding you back from creating the life that you want. And I'm going to give you one tip that one of my mentors gave me a few years ago that works so well. It's so ridiculously simple, but it works so well when you're trying to get yourself out of the moment, out of overthinking, out of anxious thoughts, anxious feelings, all of that. One of the things, though, that I hear the most from people on why they're not doing what they need to do or taking the right action to build the life that they want to. One of the things that I hear the most from those people

who say that is because of something that's going on in their mind. They are basically thinking about their fears. They're thinking about their negative self-talk. They're thinking about the negative outcomes that could happen. And so it's really interesting. The longer that I work in mindset, the simpler that it becomes and the more that I can start to see these patterns in people. And whenever somebody's dealing with something where they are not taking action, they're self-sabotaging, they don't have the life that they want, sabotaging, they don't have the life that they want. Very, and I mean, very, very rarely, is it reality? That's the problem. Like 99.99999% of the time, it's what that person is thinking. There's a story that's going on in their head. And that thing is the actual problem. It's something that's going on in their mind. And so basically here's what's happening, right? And I talk about this kind of in the book, my book Level Up.

I kind of talk about this where it's like we're all creating, we wake up in the morning and reality is perfectly fine. It's okay. We have food, water, shelter, clothing, a few people that love us. But what we do is we wake up in the morning and we create all of our fears and all of our limiting beliefs that are not actually there in reality. They're in our mind and we act like they are in reality. And so basically every single morning we wake up and we create the boogeyman, which is our fears, our limiting beliefs. We create the boogeyman. He's not really there. And then instead of actually

doing what we need to do to create the life that we want, we spend majority of our energy fighting the boogeyman and the boogeyman is not even actually there. It's pretty crazy, isn't it? Like we spend the majority of our energy thinking about our fears, thinking about our limiting beliefs, overthinking all of that stuff versus actually just taking the action that we need to. So we wake up in the morning, we create the boogeyman, we fight the boogeyman all day long, and then we go to sleep and we wake up in the morning, we create the boogeyman, we fight the boogeyman all day long, and then we go to sleep. And we wake up in the morning and we create the boogeyman. And when we wake up in the morning and we create them and we fight them all day long, we use all of our energy thinking and worrying and fears and limiting

beliefs. And I don't know if I could do this. I don't know if I'm smart enough. All of those things versus just going, Hey, I'm in my head. I need to get out of here. I need to create the life that I want. How do I do some? We're always in our mind. It's the overthinking. It's the negative self-talk. It's too many fears in our heads. It's afraid of what the future might hold. It's being scared of not being accepted. It's being scared of being judged, other people's opinions, not wanting to stand out, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's all a bunch of bullshit. It's not real. It's not in reality. It's not here, but you're acting like it's here and you're acting like it's in reality.

Like 99.9% of the people listening right now, you are your own worst enemy. You are your thoughts. You need to be able to start to change them. And that's what we're going to talk about today as well. And because these thoughts are going on in their heads and might be going on in your head, we wake up and we think about those thoughts instead of actually doing the thing to create the future that we want. So I want you to understand where you currently are in your life right now is because of all of your actions in the past. That's the first thing that needs to

be accepted before we go any further, right? Where you are right now is based off of all of the actions that you currently made in your past. There is no one else to blame. So hopefully you're not playing victim. You're not playing the blame game because if you are, then there's nothing we can do to help you because you're just going to blame everybody else and not take any responsibility. So as soon as you decide to take responsibility, well, now we can actually start to work through this and make changes. If you like where you are, it's because you took the right actions. So if you don't like where you are, it's because you took the wrong actions. If you do like where you are, it's because you took

the right actions. It's pretty simple. Life is very black and white. Either you get the life that you want to, or you don't. Your actions are going to decide which one you end up at. If you don't like where you are, it's because you took the wrong actions. If you like where you are, it's because you took the right actions, right? And everybody I understand has different life circumstances. Some people started off worse than other people. Some people started off in the middle. Some people started off better than other people, right? Yeah, that happened, right? That's just the way that it is. You can't do anything about it, but it is your responsibility that whatever hand you were dealt in life, it is your responsibility to do something with it.

And if you think about all of your worries and fears and limiting beliefs and overthinking, all of that stuff is in your head. None of it's in reality, but you think that it is because it feels like it is, but it's not. It's false. It's in the mind. It's not physical. It's not in reality. So let me give you a tip. The thing that I want you to do is when you notice yourself bullshitting yourself, when you're BSing and you notice yourself overthinking, you notice yourself negative self-talk, we notice yourself overthinking. You notice yourself negative self-talk. We notice yourself being fearful, worrying too much, self-limiting beliefs, whatever it might be. What I want you to do is start talking to yourself out loud in the moment as if you're talking to somebody else. This works so well. You might seem kind of crazy. Who gives a damn? What I want you to do is start talking to yourself out loud. Let me explain. Okay. Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of

the night to go to the bathroom and I, I'll have a thought. Sometimes I'll pop into my head about work and my to-do list or whatever it is. And once my brain clicks into that mode, it's off like a racehorse. Like it's really hard for me to turn my brain off once I get into work, when I get into do lists, when I get into all the stuff I need to do, what's going on tomorrow, what I forgot to do, ideas. And sometimes I've been, I've sat in bed and I've been laying for like two hours and my brain has just been going and I'm like, damn it, like I should be sleeping right now. And one of my mentors gave me this tip and this is how I started creating this a few years ago

is to say out loud to yourself, to your brain, not right now. When your brain goes off on a tangent that you don't want it to, say not right now. And it sounds stupid. And when he first told it to me, I was like, it's stupid. But guess what? It works.

It's so stupidly simple, Somehow it works, right? And sometimes the thoughts are gone and I can immediately fall asleep. And sometimes I have to say it a couple of times and I noticed myself go off on a tangent and I have to say it again. And since I've learned this and I've explained it to so many other people, other people have come back to me like, oh my God, this actually works. I don't know why it works, but it works. So you could try this now. This is the way that you're going to do it, right? If you notice that you are, let's say, for instance, you don't like your negative self-talk, you notice yourself talking shit to yourself and you're just your own worst enemy. Stop all the BS in the moment. And when you notice yourself lying to yourself

and saying things that are rude and saying things, whatever that you don't want, just say out loud, that's not true. Stop lying to me. Once again, act like there's somebody else that's here. Stop lying to me. I don't accept the words you're saying. There's something really interesting that happens in the brain when you start talking out loud to yourself. It's not the same as being, cause you're not in your brain anymore. Like in your brain, your brain can create infinite possibilities, right? But now when you speak out loud in the moment, you're in the moment. There's something to it.

It becomes different as if there is another person. So you find yourself negative self-talk. And nope, I don't accept the words that you're saying. That is not true. Don't talk about Rob that way. As if there is someone else, right? This is not disassociating or there's no, you know, you don't have to worry about disassociating fully from your body. What you're

trying to do is you're actually trying to change your pattern immediately in the moment, because all too often we get stuck in a pattern that we're off the races, right? If you own, let's give a couple more examples, right? If you own a business and you're sitting there and you're thinking to yourself about all of the ways your business might fail. I've done this before. And you start thinking about, oh my God, and what if this happens and revenues that come in and then I have to let go of people, but they have families and I don't want to let go of people.

That's a big responsibility. And so many people do this and their business fails because the only thing they ever think about is their business failing versus actually only thing they ever think about is their business failing versus actually what they need to do to make it succeed. So it's like you might be thinking about your business failing and maybe you had a bad week last week and you start thinking to yourself, oh my God, I don't know if I can afford two or three more bad weeks. And so you're sitting inside of your retail shop now, the lights are on. You're paying the bills. Everything is okay right now, but you're off in some really negative future. Stop the BS in the moment. And what you say to yourself is

something like, this is not true. This is an imagined future. My business is running. Revenue is coming in. We're doing good. We'll be okay. And you actually start to talk out loud to yourself as if there was somebody else across the table from you saying, oh, well, your business is going to fail. Well, you're not going to be able to pay your bills. You're not going to be good enough. And whatever it might be, you act like you're talking to somebody that's across the table from you. Bring the facts to your brain to get yourself out of the imaginary. Your business is not failing right now. Your bills are paid. Bring it to the present moment where everything is fine, right? That's the crazy part about our

brain is that you're sitting in your retail shop. The lights are on. The bills are paid. You have a little bit of cash in the company bank account. The business is not failing. But for some reason, you're in your freaking head. Think about all of the ways the business could fail. So you get yourself out of it in the moment. Stop the bullshit. This is not true. This is an imagined future. I do not accept you talking about this. Everything is good. The lights are on. The bills are paid. Everything will be good. I'm a good business owner. I'll figure it out. And so you actually start to talk to yourself out loud to immediately change your pattern. If you're starting to get anxious about something, first off, anxiety comes from imagining the future. No one has anxiety because they're imagining amazing future. You realize that,

right? Nobody's like, oh my God, I have so much anxiety because my future seems so positive, right? They have anxiety because they're imagining a future that is scary. It is a defense mechanism. It makes sense. I've done, you can go back about a month or two ago and I did an episode on anxiety. Anxiety is a positive thing because it kept our species alive. But when it takes over your entire life, it's not a positive thing, right? So when you

have anxiety, you're worrying about the future. You're not thinking about all the amazing things that's happening in the future. So you stop the bullshit in the moment. That future is not true. This, and you say to yourself out loud, that is not true. Right now, I am safe. Right now, I am 100% safe. Right now, I am grateful for this thing and this thing and this thing. 100% safe. Right now, I am grateful for this thing and this thing and this thing. Stop all the BS in the moment. You're imagining a future that does not actually align with reality. How often do people get anxiety when they're sitting on their couch in their living room when everything is fine? I mean, the exact second they're sitting in is fine. Not, oh, I have to pay bills next week. The exact second that they're sitting in is fine. Like, I mean like the exact second they're sitting in is fine. Not, oh, I have to pay bills next week. The exact second that they're sitting in is fine. But

people can cause, and I've done this many times in my life, so I get it. They can cause so much anxiety when in the present moment, everything is okay. It might not be amazing and it might be what they want, but it is okay and they are safe. So you've got to learn to stop it while it's happening. You've got to learn to bring yourself to the present moment because you're not usually present because everything is fine in the present moment. You might say, oh, but I'm worrying about paying the bills next week. Yeah. When? Right now or next week? Next week. Okay. Well, you're not in the present moment. And guess what? I bet that if you're in a better mental state, you can probably come up with better solutions to make sure that you can pay your bills, right? Yeah, you can. Isn't that funny? When you're in a shitty mental state, it's really hard to start getting creative of how you can pay your bills.

So in the present moment, the bills are not due. Next week, the bills are due. So, you know, when your emotions are high, your logic is low. If you're really stressed and you're really anxious, you're not going to come up with really creative ideas of how you can pay your bills or what opportunities might be out there. Maybe you can, oh yeah, I could drive for Uber for a week and I could probably get the extra 200 bucks that I need. Right? You're not in the present moment. That's next week in this present moment. I've done it before. I'm sitting there. I'm just, I'm just, I'm off in a distant land in my brain of just like shit going everywhere. And then I'm like, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. And I'm talking to myself. I'll add, hold on, shut Shut the shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up rob. Rob just shut up

Everything is fine I say this a lot to myself you're Fine, you're sitting on your fucking couch And you've got air conditioning and you've got Thinking like everything is great. Your your belly is full You've got people that love you in your life. Shut up. Cause you're not in the present moment. And it's like, sometimes it's like a, it's like a rude awakening. It's like, you know what it reminds me of the visual for those of

you guys that can't see me and you're, you know, you're not watching on YouTube. I shook my hands. Like I was holding on to somebody and shaking them. It's like the moment in Billy Madison, where he takes that little, the little chunky kid and he takes him by his face and he's like, don't ever say that. He like starts to shake him and his big old cheeks are moving all over the place. That's kind of what we're doing to ourself. If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch Billy Madison. You know exactly what I'm talking about. He's like, don't ever say that. And he's holding him and his little, his little face is shaking. His cheeks are going all over the place. That's kind of what you're trying to do. You're trying to shake yourself awake and be like, get yourself back here. And worrying ain't going to

pay your bills. Sorry, guys. I have never worried myself into making money. I've never worried myself into paying an electric bill. Being in this moment, being creative, being in a good space, mentally, physically, emotionally, will help me figure out how to take action to be able to pay the bills. And so it's really important for you to start talking out loud to yourself, to get yourself out of your head because your head is always either in the future or it's in the past. Very rarely is it right here in this moment. But when you start talking out loud, speaking out loud is in this moment.

So you talk to yourself, not right now. This is not true. Stop lying to yourself. This is imagined. You are safe right now. You are paying the bills. You will figure it out. You are smart. I know you can do this. Whatever it is that you need to say to yourself to get yourself out of your head, just remember the old phrase, when you're in your head, you're dead, right? You're off in a distant land. You're not helping yourself. But when you're here, you're in this present moment, you can figure out how to get done whatever it is you need to get done. And you can get yourself out of those anxious states, so stressful states that just take up so much of yourself. Because ultimately what we're doing is we're waking up, we're

creating the boogeyman, we're fighting the boogeyman all day long. That's a lot of energy versus just waking up saying, what do I need to do today to get one step further in the life that I want to create? And then actually start taking those actions. So stop BSing yourself. That's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The only way this podcast grows is from you guys actually sharing

it. And so if you would like to help me and help us grow and impact more people, which is ultimately my life goal, do me a favor, share it on the Instagram stories, share with a friend, because that is the way that we grow the most. And we don't have any big company behind us backing us to try to put us out there. We don't have any billboards or ads or any of those types of things like other huge podcasts do. So if you would share it, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. It would really help us over here. And with that, I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.