The Mindset Mentor - Stop Fighting For Your Insecurities

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And also, if you love this podcast, you'll probably love our YouTube as well. We post at least three to four times every single week on YouTube. We actually just posted a video that has over 400,000 views. I'm sorry, 200,000 views in the past four months, which went pretty decently viral, which is a three books that you should read in 2023 to be successful. So if you love this podcast, you'll definitely love YouTube as well. Go to YouTube, type in my name, Rob Dial,

Starting point is 00:00:39 R-O-B-D-I-A-L, and subscribe to us there. Today, we're going to be diving into your insecurities. One of the things that I find with people is that people love to fight for their insecurities. People will fight more for their insecurities than the fucking reasons why they will succeed. They fight for the reasons why they won't succeed, their insecurities, their fears, their limiting beliefs more than they're willing to actually go to battle for what they truly want in this world. And the reason why I'm thinking of this is because we had a call earlier this week with my team and there's a team member. We were going over all of our goals, what we've got going on for the month, planning the next month, all of this stuff. One of my team members was like, well, here's my goal, but I've also got like, you know,

Starting point is 00:01:23 this is my goal, but I'm kind of worried because I got this going on and this is happening. I don't really know about this and this and this and this and this. And what happened was, um, I noticed that he was, while he was supposed to be explaining his goals, he was actually kind of trying to sell everybody on the call as to the reasons why he wouldn't hit his goals. He's got this coming up, this is happening. And it was almost like he was throwing little tiny reasons out there as to why hitting his goal might be hard, why it might not work out. All of the little challenges that would pop up along the way, all of the reasons why he wasn't ready, why now wasn't the right time, all of these things. And so I had to stop him. And as he was talking about his goals, because really what he was

Starting point is 00:02:04 supposed to be talking about was his goal and why he wants to hit his goal. And I stopped him and I said, hey, just so you know, you're not going to hit your goal. And he was like, what? Because he thought to himself, like, we're supposed to be talking about our goals. And now my manager, my boss is telling me that I'm not going to hit my goals. And I was like, you're not going to hit your goals. I said this from my viewpoint, you're not giving me any reason why you're going to hit your goals, but you've given me like 10 to 15 little teeny tiny reasons as to why you're probably not going to hit your goal. You're selling me and everybody else in this call as to why you're not going to do it. You're telling me all of the obstacles, like you're finding all of the

Starting point is 00:02:45 obstacles in the next month instead of all the opportunities. You're getting stuck in the weeds of the obstacles instead of all of the opportunities. And whatever you focus on, you will get. So if you're focusing on obstacles, obstacles, obstacles, why I'm not going to hit my goal, why I'm not good enough, why I'm not smart enough, why I have these fears, and I just keep going, I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I have these fears and I just keep going. You're not going to succeed. So you might as well just make your goal lower. But what I really need you to do is I need you to tell me what it is that you're working for, why you're working for it, and tell me about all of the possibilities. Because at this point,

Starting point is 00:03:22 I'm hearing all the obstacles. I'm not hearing any of the opportunity. I'm not hearing any of the possibility. I'm hearing all the things that could be in the way. And we all know the way we do one thing is the way you do everything. And so I said, listen, if the way you do one thing is the way you do everything, you're not just doing this here. You're probably doing this in your relationship. You're probably doing this in your fitness. You're probably doing this in your self-development. It's showing up in your bank account. It's showing up in your mindset. It's showing up everywhere. You are fighting for the reason why not. You're basically on the wrong. It's like tyranny. You're like fighting against your own self and what is it you truly want to succeed at. You're in battle by yourself, but you're really trying to sell me on why your goals don't matter, why you're not going to hit your goals, why you're not smart enough, good enough, whatever it might be.

Starting point is 00:04:03 You've given me 10 to 15 little teeny tiny reasons as to why your goal might not work out. I have not heard one reason why it's going to work out. I need you besides, you know, I need you to stop telling me why you won't win the race before you ever get to the starting line. Like, how many times do we, do we try to tell ourselves or tell everybody else how we won't win the race before we even get to the starting line? Oh yeah, well, this is my goal, but like, you know, I don't, I don't know if it's going to happen because I've got this thing going on this month and I've also had this and, and all of that. And so I said to him, I said, is this something that you do pretty often where like you set a goal or even just you want something,

Starting point is 00:04:45 but then you start finding all the reasons why it's not working for you, why it's not possible, why you're not good enough, why it's not the right time, why you don't have the right circumstances, why you, you weren't born in the right part of town, whatever it is, it might be. It's all of these different things we could sell ourselves on. Right. I said, do you do this often? He's like, man, you know what? Like, yeah, I guess I do. I said, okay, how's that working for you? He's like, not really well. And said, okay, so what I want you to do is this. I want you to tell me why it's going to work out. And I need you to sell me on it. And I need you to sell me on it as if you are a general and I'm in the army with you and I'm one of your soldiers.

Starting point is 00:05:27 I need you to sell me on the success of it, why it's going to work out, why this is important for us to go. Because imagine if you're a general and you have a bunch of people in the army, you have all of these soldiers, you're like, well, hey guys, we're going to go try to take over this mountain, but it might not work because of this and it might not work because of this and it also might not work because of this and there mountain, but it might not work because of this. And it might not work because of this. And it also, you know, might not work because of this. And there's a chance it might not work because of this. Nobody is going to follow you into battle because all you're doing is selling us on the reasons on why it's not going to work.

Starting point is 00:05:57 Your life is a little bit of a battle. It's you versus you. But the problem is you're constantly selling yourself on the opposite side, the side that you don't want. And so what I want you to do is what I said. I said, so what I want you to do is I want you to tell myself and everybody here why you're going to hit your fucking goals that you're setting for this next month. I want you to sell it to me.

Starting point is 00:06:18 I want you to tell me about the opportunities that are coming in your future, the amazing opportunities that are gonna come from it. I want you to tell me about it. I want you to tell me about everything and I want you to tell me with you connecting to your true purpose as to why you're here on this earth. And I want you to tell me

Starting point is 00:06:34 as if I'm going to battle with you and you're trying to sell me on going to battle. He's like, okay. I said, okay. Sell me on why this is going to work. Sell me on why you're going to hit your goal for next month and make me believe it. Make everybody on this call believe it. And so he's like, okay, so here's the deal. My goal is this. And this is the reason why it's my goal. And this is why I'm excited about it. And you know what? No matter what comes up,

Starting point is 00:06:59 this is what I'm going to do. And I'm going to go for this and, and I'm going to have some sales and I'm going to have some no sales, but even when I have a no sale, this is exactly how I'm going to act. This is exactly what I'm going to do. This is how it's going to work out for me. And, and just, he just got into it, started talking and talking and talking and talking and talking. And then he got done. And I said, okay, cool. Now I'm going to ask everybody on this call. And I said, everybody on this call, did you notice a shift in him at all? Everyone's like, oh my gosh, yes. I said, what were the differences that you noticed in him? And they're like, his body language was way different. When he was first talking about his insecurities, it was kind of slumped over and he was talking

Starting point is 00:07:36 kind of slow. And, you know, he was, you know, not really looking at the camera. But when he started talking about what he wanted, he was sitting up. His voice changed. He was talking faster. He got louder. He started giving us more body language. His hands were moving. And he started actually, there was a shift in his whole body.

Starting point is 00:07:59 Amazing. What else did you guys notice? His tonality. Like, his tonality changed. It went from, like from slow and quiet to started speaking faster. He started speaking louder, started speaking with emotion. So his body language changed. His emotion changed. And he literally goes, he goes, I can, he literally said this, he goes, I can literally feel it in my body. He's like, I can

Starting point is 00:08:17 feel the difference in my body from when I was first going over my goals and trying to sell you guys on all of my insecurities to when I started selling you guys as if we were going to battle. He goes, I can notice, I noticed my voice changing. I noticed my body changing. The more that my voice and body change, the more that I actually felt that I need to keep going. The more that I actually felt that I had more energy to put into it. I was like, yeah, you were basically pulling energy from your vision and selling us on it. And so what happened was you stopped looking through the lens of obstacles. You stopped looking through the lens of insecurity. Stopped looking at the lens of why you're not good enough,

Starting point is 00:08:54 why you can't do it, why you should give up. And you started looking through the lens of possibility. And did you, did you know challenges are still going to come up? Absolutely. You're not an idiot. You know challenges are still going to come up no matter what. But the idea of it was no matter what happens with those challenges, I'm still not going to stop. It was a night and day difference in the exact same human in front of us. And so think about that in your own life. How often do you fight for your fears? How often do you fight for your fears? How often do you fight for insecurities?

Starting point is 00:09:28 How often do you fight for your limiting beliefs? You fight for what you don't want all of the time. How often do you actually fight for what it is that you truly want? Very rarely. I remember a couple of years ago, I was doing a, I had an event. It was an in-person event.

Starting point is 00:09:43 And we were talking about building a business. And I was trying to really trigger somebody inside of the event on purpose. And I was trying to trigger them to basically show this exact same thing. And I was talking about, you know, is anybody's business at a million dollars a month right now? Nobody's business was. And I asked them, I was like, what are your goals? And people were like, I want to be at 20,000, 50,000, a hundred thousand a month. And I was like, is anybody at a million dollars a month? And everyone's like, no, not yet. And I said, why the fuck is that not your goal? Like, why are you thinking so? Why are you thinking $20,000 a month instead of a million dollars a month? And I was really just trying to see if I could trigger somebody. And lo and behold, one person it triggered, right?

Starting point is 00:10:26 And I was like, is anybody really triggered right now? One of the ladies raised her hand. She, I was like, why are you triggered? Tell me why you're triggered. She's like, well, I'm triggered because like, I'm triggered because you know, this thing, and I'm triggered because of this thing. And I'm triggered because of this, and I'm triggered because of this and this and this. And she's like, and I'm even fucking triggered because like, you're not even consistently hitting a million dollars a month and you're our coach. Right, so then she starts like yelling at me and I'm just like, I'm straight face on the outside, but I'm just like, you can't tell what's going on.

Starting point is 00:10:54 But on the inside, I'm like, this is hilarious. So I let her go. I said, cool. I said, you feel good? You feel like you got it all out? I said, yeah. I said, do you see how much emotion you are putting into selling yourself as to why your insecurities are valid? How much you're putting into why you're

Starting point is 00:11:12 not good enough? How much you're putting into, oh, I can't do this. I can't do this. I was like, you're fucking yelling about how passionate you are for why you're not good enough. But when I ask you why you're good enough, you're like, I don't know. I'm just, I'm trying my best and all this stuff. It's like, no, you've got to, you've got to really put all of the effort forth that you can to, to put every ounce of energy into the belief of the opportunities in front of you versus looking at all of the obstacles. You just have to do it. You have to. You have to kind of brainwash yourself into believing it's possible. Well, I can't do it because of this. I can't do it because of that. I'm like,

Starting point is 00:11:49 stop selling me on why you can't do it. I want you to sell me why you can do this thing. And then I asked her, I remember I was like, okay, and when you were triggered, did you feel that triggering in your body? Did you feel your insecurities in your body? And she's like, oh my gosh. And I was like, yeah. She's like, oh my gosh, I did. And I was like, where was it? And she's like, in my chest. I get this real tightness in my chest. I was like, you're holding all your insecurities right there.

Starting point is 00:12:12 You're holding them. You're trying to tell yourself that your insecurities are valid versus your feelings of desire and want and motivation being valid. And so you stop selling me on so passionately on why you can't do something you stop selling me on so passionately on why you can't do something and start selling me on so passionately why you can't do something. Because as a human, our brain is just a protection mechanism. It will naturally go towards negative. When we say, I want to do this thing, if that thing is out of your comfort zone, your brain will come up with a laundry list of reasons why you shouldn't do it, why you can't do it, why you're not good enough. It'll come with this massive laundry list

Starting point is 00:12:48 of all of that stuff. Your brain will do that because it's trying to protect you to stay inside of your comfort zone. So we have to be very intentional about finding the positive in things, finding the reasons why we can do it, finding the reasons why we will succeed, all of that stuff. You need to start noticing this in yourself because when you start wanting to put yourself in your comfort zone, your brain's going to come up with that laundry list to try to keep you in the exact same place. Negative is just a natural feeling that humans go towards when they want to put themselves out of their comfort zone. That's the reason why. So you have to be very intentional about finding the path, forcing yourself to believe

Starting point is 00:13:25 in the opportunities. You have to become intentional, but you also really need to become a lot more self-aware because a lot of times what happens is we set a goal and then we start to get nervous about it and then we don't take any action. We need to become intentional about what am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? Where is this coming from? And starting to work for it. And then really what it comes down to is we need to start selling ourselves as to why it's possible, why it's worth it, why it's worth our time, intention, attention, and action to try to create the life that we want. Because when you try to go for something that's outside of your comfort zone, you're not going to die. Like by building a multimillion dollar business, if that's what

Starting point is 00:14:00 your goal is, you're not going to die. By building a body that's the one you've always wanted, you're not going to die. These things are not life or death, but your brain thinks that it is. Anything outside of a comfort zone, anything that's different is a threat to the human brain. So we need to become more aware of when we're starting to feel this way and starting to work through it. And then ultimately start to fight for all of the reasons why versus fighting for your insecurities. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor, take your phone out right now and share this on your Instagram stories and tag me at Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm gonna leave it the same way I leave you every

Starting point is 00:14:41 single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - Stop Fighting For Your Insecurities

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