The Mindset Mentor - Stop Sh****ing All Over Yourself!

Episode Date: November 11, 2019

Shame and guilt are two of the lowest feelings that a human can have. They are also the most common emotions that people feel when they think about what they "should" be doing. Today I am going to teach you how to stop shoulding all over yourself!Follow me on Instagram @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode if you have not yet done so hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. Today we're going to be talking about the mess that you guys have all over yourself. You have a mess in your pants, you have a mess on your face, you have a mess all over the place and the reason why is because you have been shooting all over yourself your entire life. And guess what? The problem is it hasn't just been you that has been shooting all over yourself, but everyone that you know, your friends, your family, your parents, they've been shooting all over you your entire life. Yes, you heard me correctly. Not shit. They have been should. What you should be doing with your life. This is one of the things that I find people really get the most caught up in

is they start thinking about their life compared to other people's lives. And from the very beginning, just so you know, comparison is the thief of happiness. If you want to really steal away your joy in your life, if you want to steal away the happiness in your life, if you want to steal away the happiness in your life, start comparing yourself to somebody else, right? Some of you are shooting all over yourself all day, every day. And it's based off the way that you were raised or how you were programmed by society of what you feel like you should be doing, what you feel like you should have in your life

or should have done in your life. Maybe you feel like you should be further along. Maybe you feel like you should act a certain way. Maybe you feel like you should hold your tongue. Maybe you feel like you should lose weight for someone to finally love you. Maybe you feel like you should stop thinking that way. Maybe you feel like you should lose weight for someone to finally love you. Maybe you feel like you should stop thinking that way. Maybe you feel like you should grow up. Maybe you feel like you should get your

life together by now. Maybe you feel like you should have your life together by now. Maybe you feel like you should be married. Maybe you feel like you should have kids. You should have a house. You should be out of debt. You should be like your parents by now, right? You should forgive that person for doing that thing that it's just so freaking hard to forgive them for, right? You should be grateful in the times when you feel like you're the saddest because you do have a lot more than another person. You should be more compassionate to others. You should meditate. You should wake up early. You should read a book. You should be in a personal realm. You shouldn't be in a sad state because you have such a blessed life, right? You should give back. You should be able to do nothing. You should be productive. You should

have a good day every single day. You should not be dirty. You know, you shouldn't, you should, you should take more trips. You should have more fun. You should appreciate what you have. You should spend more time with your kids. You should spend more time with your loved ones. You should spend less time at work. You should have more fun. You should spend less time on your computer. You should spend less time on Facebook.

You should spend less time listening to me talk about the word should. You should want to have more money. You should have more money. You should want to have all of the things that everybody else has. You should have the things that you see on Instagram. You should laugh more. You should lose weight. You should exercise.

You should drink less. You should, you should, you should, you should, you should, you should, you should. And you're shooting all of yourself. And what it brings is this. It brings shame and it brings guilt, which are, if I were to say, two of the lowest, lowest feelings as a human. To feel shameful because you don't have what you should have. Or to be shameful, feel shameful because of the fact that you feel like the feelings that you're experiencing, you shouldn't be having. You should be grateful.

You know, you shouldn't be able to be sad because think about it. There's starving children in China and starving people that don't have water in Africa. You shouldn't feel like that. You should be grateful. And there's some times where you're just like, damn it, I just don't feel grateful right now. I don't feel good. I don't feel on top of the world. I don't feel like I want to wake up early. I don't feel like I want to go out and have fun today. I don't feel grateful right now. I don't feel good. I don't feel on top of the world. I don't feel like I want to wake up early. I don't feel like I want to go out and have fun today. I don't feel like I want to go out and see my friends, you know, but I should go out because, oh, because of this, because this, because this, because this. And what happens is we're built into these constructs of things that we should and should not be doing, right? You shouldn't have

those thoughts about your parents. Your parents brought you into this world. It doesn't matter if they're toxic to you, right? We've heard this before. I've heard it so many times because I've given people the advice to basically disassociate themselves from their parents sometimes. And people are like, you shouldn't do that. They're your parents. You should give them everything. And it's like, no, you don't realize how toxic some people's parents are. Some people are mentally, physically, sexually abusive to them. And you're telling them that they should have to be around them because they brought them into this world. No, there's a time when if you want to disconnect from them, you can disconnect from them. Oh, that's your sister. That's your aunt. That's your uncle.

You should be around them. You should give them love. No matter what they do, you should be able to listen to them and the crap that they have to throw, right? People, if you're not, if you're not shooting on yourself, which you are shooting on yourself, then people are shooting all over you. So the question I have for you and the question I want you to ponder is what do you want? What do you want? Do you want kids? If you, if you're 30, 35, 40 years old and you don't want kids, but you feel like you should have kids because that's what you were told, don't have kids. What do you want? Right? Do you want to get married? If you don't, then don't do it. Right? Do you want to, you know, lose weight? Do you want to say something

to somebody, but you're holding it back? Do you want to live in a different place? Do you want to even have a house? Do you even care about getting out of debt? Do you want to stop acting like your parents? Do you want to stop acting like your parents? Do you want to go to the gym? What do you want? What do you want? This is a question that not enough people ask themselves. And so if I were you, I would get out a pen and paper right now and write down the question,

what do I want? It's an important thing to think about because all too often what we realize is that we're living other people's lives. We're living lives that we feel like we're supposed to live because that's what we've been told. Or we're living lives that we feel like society told us we're supposed to want. Or we're living lives because we feel like this is what we're supposed to do. We should be living these lives. And then you wake up and this is the reason why people have midlife crisis is because they wake up and they're like, what the hell am I doing with my life? This is not what I wanted. But then they're deep. They're married to somebody they want to be married to. They have a house and a mortgage

they're stuck into. They have two kids that they love, but they just really wish they would have had them later in their life so they could experience the joys, right? If you don't want to do something, then don't do it. And if somebody doesn't agree with you, if it's not hurting anybody else and someone doesn't agree with you, then that person really doesn't have your own best interest in mind. And that's not somebody that you could be around. You should be around, right? Do you want to travel? If you don't, they don't feel like you should be traveling. You know, if you, if do you want to be working that job? If you don't, they don't feel like you should be traveling. You know, if you, if do you want to be working that job? If you don't, they don't feel like that's the job you should be working. There's so many people that are living lives based on what their parents told them they should live or because they're afraid of what someone's going

to say to them. They're afraid they're going to be judged or afraid that people are not going to look up to them anymore. They're afraid that the people that they're close to are not going to love them. They feel like if they go and they change their jobs, then people are going to change the way that they feel about them. They feel like if they're going to change their job, you know, there's a lot of people that make, make way less money than they could because they feel like if they made more money than the people around them would not associate with them anymore because they wouldn't fit in because they've had, they've been poor for so long and all of her friends are poor. There's no possible way. Is this what they think? There's no possible way that my friends would want to be friends with

anymore. And if they were, maybe they would take advantage of me because of the money. There's so many people have money issues because of that. Right? So the question I have for you is what do you want? Because the lowest human emotion is shame and guilt. And when you feel like you should be doing something and you are not doing it, and it's not what you truly want, you feel that shame. You feel that guilt because you have had people shooting all over you your entire life and you're shooting all over yourself now. So what I want you to do is I want you to listen to this episode. I want you to listen to it over and over and over again. And if you're driving, put it on pause.

And when you get to a place where you can stop, get out a pen and paper and ask yourself one important question. What do I want in my life? What do I want? Not what does everybody want of me? Not what should I be doing? Not where should I be in my life? What do I want? Not what does everybody want of me? Not what should I be doing? Not where should I be in my life? What do I want? It's a vague question, but that's great because your brain will be able to fill in the vagueness because maybe it has to do with money. Maybe it has to

do with a relationship. Maybe it has to do with career. Maybe it has to do with your family life. Whatever it is, your brain will fill in the gaps for you. What do I want? Question mark. Answer that question. And then you can ask yourself, what do I want? And get more direct. What do I want in my career? What do I want in my bank account? What do I want in my relationships? What do I want in my family life? What do I want in my materialistic life? family life? What do I want in my materialistic life? What fun things do I want? And stop worrying about what other people think that you should be doing and do whatever the hell you want to do. That's the key to life. The key to happiness is not to go along with the shoulds and should nots. The key to the happiness in life is to figure out what it is that you want. Write it down. Be very clear on it.

And as long as it's not hurting somebody else, go out there and get it. If you want to quit your job and teach people how to ride horses and go from making a hundred thousand dollars a year to making $30,000 a year, but it puts a fricking smile on your face, then do it. Because I'm here to tell you, don't live somebody else's life. Because if you want to be sad and depressed and feel shame and guilt, live a life of should. If you want to live a life that's happy, that you love, that you're in love with, that you light up every single time that you think about, ask yourself what you want and try to bring that want into your life every single day. So that's what I got for

you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share with someone that you know and someone that you love. If you know someone who's getting shit all over all day long, then go ahead and share this episode with them. But I'm going to leave you the same way I leave every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing, amazing day.