The Mindset Mentor - Stop Suffering!

Episode Date: October 25, 2019

Pain is inevitable but suffering is an option. So why then do people continue to hold onto painful memories that hold them back? In this episode, I will give you the key to relieve your suffering.Follow me on Instagram @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

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Get the PF Black Card and feel fit-tacular. $1 down, $24.99 a month. Join in-club or online and get the PF Black Card today. See club for details. Welcome to today's episode. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. Today, we're going to be talking about painful things in your life. I'm going to talk about painful things in my life, and I'm going to try to be as joyful as I can as we talk about the pain, right? I want to talk about your pain because, you know, what I've

come to realize is that most people love to hold on to their pain and present it to others as if it's a badge of honor. You carry this thing with you, the things that have happened to you, the people who have hurt you, the people who have cheated on you, the people who have died, the parents and what they said to you or the alcoholics that were around you, the people that died. You carry those with you and you show them to people as if, yeah, I went through this. This is how tough I am. Don't screw with me because I went through this. You know, I have, obviously, if you've followed me on Facebook, I have a lot of videos that go

viral on Facebook. And, you know, I have videos that have done a million views. I've done, you know, a video that's approaching a hundred million views. But the one thing that I find that's so interesting is I get to see all sides of the human condition. And like for instance, my number one most viral video is called Why You Should Quit Your Job or Why Your Job is a Waste of Your Life. Because I truly believe that if you work at a job that you hate, it is a waste of your life. I don't say that you just don't work at all, period. What I'm saying is you quit that job and you find a job that you love, even if it pays you less. But then I see all of these comments about, oh yeah, look at this privileged white guy. Oh, he's so privileged.

He's had such a perfect life. It must be nice. You know, are you going to pay my bills? Or, you know, you don't have to deal with what you haven't gone through, what I've gone through. You don't know what my life has been like. You don't know me. You don't know how tough my life has been and all of these things. And it's crazy to see how people hold on to the things that honestly hold them back. Think about that for a second. People hold on to the things that hold them back.

You know, just because something happened to you in your past doesn't mean that you should hold on to it. You know, it means you should get over it and then let it go. That event is in your past. That event is not you. It happened to you. You know, I've had things happen to me. You know, you know my story if you've heard.

You know, my father passed away when I was younger. But I don't go around there and, you know, say, oh, well, I could go through this because my father was an alcoholic and you don't know me. You don't know my past. I'm not successful because my father was an alcoholic. If it started raining on me as I went outside, that's something that's happening to me, but I'm not the rain. I'm not that rain cloud. It's just something that's happening to me. I'm just happening to get wet, right? If you continue to hold onto your pain and your past, you're allowing it to be something that holds you back. People use it as a badge of honor. It's like, yeah, I'm not where I want to be, or I'm not as far along in my life as this person for this reason, right? Your past means nothing, absolutely nothing. I'm here to tell you

that. And I know that this might be pissing some people off, but your past is not you. You are not your past. Your past actually has nothing to do with the current self that's listening to this into your ears. And you might be saying, oh, well, you know, I am the way that I am though, because of my past. Sure. But if you actually think about, you know, I am the way that I am though because of my past. Sure. But if you actually think about it, you're actually not the way that you are because of your past. You actually are the way that you are because of the way that you choose to look at your past. That's an interesting thing to think about. You are not who you are because of your past. You are who you are because of the way you choose to look at your past. Your past has nothing to do with your present. You know, it's like that story.

There's two twins and, you know, two twins and they have an alcoholic father. And they fast forward 30 years and one of the twins is a raging alcoholic and the other one's a CEO of a massive company and very successful and happy. They walk up to the one who's the alcoholic and they say, hey, why are you an alcoholic? And he says, oh, I'm an alcoholic because my father was an alcoholic. They walk up to the other one that's a successful businessman and they say, hey, why are you not an alcoholic? And he says, I'm not an alcoholic because my father was an alcoholic. So those are two people with the exact same past, So those are two people with the exact same past, born at almost the exact same time,

but they're in different places because of the way they chose to look at their past. So I'm here to tell you that your past doesn't mean jack, shh, you know what? It doesn't. But what I want you to realize is it's the way that you look at your past that is getting you to where you are right now. It's like the quote that Buddha says, suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. You know, this is how I try to live my life. I try to understand this concept. You know, if you're alive, I guarantee that something bad has happened to you or something bad will happen to you. There's no way around that.

We all know someone who's had something really bad happen to them, right? I have a friend who's just been drugged through the freaking mud, like just everything that you could possibly think about. But that person is still an incredible person. They've dealt with their things, but they could be, they should be, not should be, but they, according to life standards, they should be in a way worse place

than they are right now. Some people, they have one bad thing happen to them and they get cynical, they get negative, they get depressed. You know, pain is inevitable. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice. but suffering is a choice. You know, I always knew one day that somebody might get a tattoo of something that I said. And that phrase actually, pain is inevitable, but suffering is not. I actually said in one of my episodes and someone actually got that tattooed on themselves, which I thought was pretty incredible. I never thought that that would happen. But, you know, it's the phrase pain is inevitable, Suffering is not. Suffering is a choice, right? Pain is a painful experience. Something that you wish did not happen. Suffering is

allowing your pain to linger, allowing it to fester, to eat you from the inside. Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. Now, you're sitting out there and you say, yeah, but this happened and this happened. And my mom said this, and this is how I was raised. And, you know, my grandfather did this to me and this happened. And, you know, we all have had, not all of us, most people have had something bad happen to them. You know, that's part of being a human. But can you take that bad thing that happened to you and instead of wearing it as a badge of honor and saying, but I am this way because of this and you don't know me and you know, I would be successful had

that not happened to me, but I've had this happen to me and using it as, I'm going to say it, an excuse. Why don't you use that as a catalyst for your growth, a catalyst for creating the life that you want, a catalyst for doing something good in your life, a catalyst for doing something good for other people in the world. Yes, something bad happened. Get the hell over it. It's the past. It's gone. Let go of it. It's like, you know, if somebody does something really bad to you and you're still holding onto that anger, you know, I think it was, I don't remember exactly who the quote says, but he says, holding onto anger is like holding onto acid and hoping that it burns the other person's hands, right? That's what it is. You have to let

go of it. You're holding onto the suffering. You're holding onto the anger. You're holding onto, this is why I'm not where I want to be. But you have to realize that just happened. That's the cards that you were dealt. I was dealt a shitty hand too. You know, sorry, I cussed, whatever. It happens. I'm going to start cussing a little bit more because it's just natural for me. So if you do have kids, I'm sorry, but it's probably going to start happening more. I just, I just have come to realize that I, when I, when I hold back from being my true self, I don't give as much of my true self as I can. And I'll be honest with you. I happen to cuss a lot and I actually love it

because I don't think it's a bad thing. I should actually do an episode on why cussing isn't a bad thing. The programming of why a word that comes out of your mouth's a bad thing. I should actually do an episode on why cussing isn't a bad thing. The programming of why a word that comes out of your mouth is a bad thing is interesting. But, you know, I'm getting off topic by talking about cussing. But, you know, I could use my father as an example and say, oh yeah, you know, I am the place that I'm in because of this.

You know, bad stuff happens to good people. Those are the hands that you were dealt. I was dealt a crappy hand, sure. You know, I had times where I remember being scared. I remember calling the cops on my dad because I had to, because he broke into the house. I remember, you know, calling the, the, the fire department because my dad started a fire. Cause he's, he, you know, he lit a joint and he, he didn't have a lighter, but he lit a joint with a piece of paper, a piece of a, what's it called? Paper towel. And that paper towel ended up, you know, we were

had those ghetto carpet in the kitchen, the carpeted kitchen. He went into the bathroom and it started, it didn't burn the house down, but it started a little fire. I was like six, seven, eight years old and it scared the crap out of me. Right. I've done that. I've gone through it. It happened, but it, it made me who I am. It was going through that shit is what made me who I am. It made me want to do more good in the world because I know what it feels like to go through that, to be a lost little kid, to be a lost teenager, to be a lost 20 year old and still holding on to the pain and resentment and me being pissed off at my

father. I know what that feels like. But the reason why I do what I do now is because I've been able to get myself past it. And I want to teach people how to get past it. So I've used the bad hand that I was dealt and I'm trying to just play it differently. So if you were dealt a bad hand, can you play it differently? Can you start thinking differently? Because if you've ever watched world series of poker on ESPN or whatever it is that they watched it on, they play it on. Sometimes the best poker players have terrible hands, but they still win the hand based on the way that they play it. Can you rethink the plan, the hand that you were given and make a different plan to make a different life to then create a different outcome? Because your life, the hands that you were given are the hands

you were given. That's it. That's it. You can't change your past. The only thing that you could do is change your present moment. And hopefully if you change your present moment, it will then change your future. You can't change your future. You can't change your past. The only thing you could do is right now in this very moment. And what you do right now will eventually change the future. It'd be cool if we could change the past though. That'd be pretty nuts. So are you out there? You playing the victim card? Did somebody break up with you? Screw you over? Did somebody die? It's okay to be sad. It's okay to mourn. There's nothing wrong with those things. But if you continue to carry the baggage along with you,

that's absolutely useless. It's like trying to run the marathon of life, but you won't let go of the freaking 100 pound backpack that's on your back. Just drop the freaking thing already. The past has no right to change your present. The past has no right to change your present. The past has no right to be in your present. Understand this. It's never what happens to you in your life that changes you. It's the meaning and the power that you give it that will change the way that your life comes out.

It's not the event. It's the meaning that you give the way that your life comes out. It's not the event. It's the meaning that you give the event. Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you liked this episode, I'm out of breath. I got into it.

Sorry, guys, I'm screaming. I'm freaking still in this closet in Sedona because like I said, I brought my podcasting equipment with me. I'm literally, if somebody were to walk by, obviously we're in our Airbnb, but if someone were to walk by, they'd be like, why is someone screaming in the closet right now? Right? I'm in the closet because of the fact that this is the best place for sound. I brought my recording mic with me. I'm not home in Austin, so I don't have my recording studio with me. So I'm just screaming in a closet over here. I'm out of breath. I'm getting passionate about Austin, so I don't have my recording studio with me. So I'm just screaming in a closet over here. I'm out of breath. I'm getting passionate about it.

But I just want you to realize that it doesn't matter. I don't give a freaking damn about your past. I don't. And you shouldn't either. You should only care about the meaning that you give it, not the event, the meaning that you give it and what you do from now on. So once again, if you like this episode, please share with someone that you know it and what you do from now on. So once again, if you liked this episode, please share with someone that you know and love. I need to go catch my breath. And as always,

I'm gonna leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day. Bye.