The Mindset Mentor - Stop the Bullsh*t

Episode Date: May 20, 2022

In this episode, I am going to teach you how to stop overthinking... QUICKLY! Want to master your mindset? Every Monday I send out an email with mindset tips for the week, click here to receive that email: http://mondayemail.com/ Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast and you've never given us a rating review, please do me a favor. Give us a rating review on iTunes or Spotify, however you listen to us. It helps this podcast grow more than you can possibly imagine. Today, we're going to be talking about how to stop the bullshit. To truth, what do I mean by how to stop the bullshit? I mean how to stop all of the BS that goes on in your mind that is so ridiculously unnecessary. And I'm going to give you a tip that one of my mentors gave me that works so well, and it's so ridiculously simple of how to stop overthinking, how to stop negative

thinking, and how to get yourself out of your mind so you can be present and actually start taking action towards the life that you want. So one of the things that I hear the most from people is how they're not doing what they need to do, or they're not taking the action required to live the life that they want, whatever that might be. And I always say this, it's very simple. Life is not hard. It's very black and white. Either at the end of your life, you look back and you have gotten the life that you want to, or you look back and you have not gotten the life that you want to. It's very black or white. There's no gray in there. And a lot of the time, what happens is that people are

not taking action towards the life they want, towards whatever it is they're trying to build, towards the dreams that they want to create because of something that's going on in their mind. And let me know if this one seems to click home with you in some sort of way. I hear things like, I can't stop overthinking. I'm constantly thinking and overthinking, and I don't feel like I have control in my mind. I have too much negative self-talk. I have too many negative self-talk.

I have too many fears in my head. My limiting beliefs are coming up. I'm afraid of what the future might hold. I'm afraid of what people think about me. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of success. I'm afraid of running out of money. I'm afraid of not being good enough. I'm afraid of getting to the end of my life and realizing that it wasn't what I wanted it to be. I'm scared of never being accepted. I'm afraid of standing out. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Here are all of the things you could possibly think of, right? And the reason why this is an issue is not because of reality. The reason why these are an issue is because of what's going on inside of your head. You know, you have to realize and you have to wake up at some point in time and realize that what is holding you back is not right here in this physical reality, in this present moment. It is a future that you're imagining that is not an awesome future. It just

seems like it sucks, honestly. You know, if you think about failing or you're thinking about, you know, losing everything, you think about not being able to pay your bills, if you're thinking about running your business into the ground, that future doesn't sound awesome to me. Sounds like it sucks. And that's what we're imagining in our future, which is then making us really scared right now to take any action. But you have to realize when you feel that way and you think about that future, it makes it really hard to take action towards that future. It does, doesn't it? But you have to realize, this is the interesting thing you have to realize, okay?

Everything that you do and everything that you don't do will get you somewhere. What you have right now in your life is something that you have created based off of the actions that you have taken in the past. There is no one else to blame. So if you like where you are, it's because you took the right actions in your past. If you don't like where you are, it's because you took the wrong actions in your past. But all of the worries, all of the fears, all of the limiting beliefs, all of the overthinking that you might have that's going on inside of your head, none of it is here right now in this physical reality. You think that it is because you actually think it, and when you think it, it makes your body react to it in this present moment

so it feels like it's happening, but it's not actually physically happening right now. It's all false and in the mind. It's not physical and in reality. Think about that for a second. Everything that you're worrying about that's keeping you from taking action, all of that is false and it's in the mind. It's not physical. It's not in this reality. But still, we're not taking action because we're afraid of this future that we're imagining. So let me give you the tip to help you with this. The tip is this. Talk to yourself out loud in the moment. In that moment, when you become aware that you're overthinking, when you become aware that you're afraid, when you become aware that you're making demons in the future that aren't even real and it's just this imaginary future that you're

actually thinking about, talk to yourself in the moment out loud as if you're talking to somebody else. And let me explain what I mean by that. The way that this really helps, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and then I just go to bed, I'm fine. Sometimes I wake up and I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and then my brain clicks on. And it clicks on in the way of like, I feel like I have like analytical brain, and then I have like normal brain, right? When my analytical brain clicks on. And it clicks on in the way of like, I feel like I have like analytical brain, and then I have like normal brain, right? When my analytical brain clicks on, it's very hard to turn it off. And so I'll have a thought about something that I need to do the next day. I'll

have a thought about work. I'll have a thought about to-do lists. I thought about something that I forgot to do maybe. And once my brain clicks in that mode, it's off like a horse race. me. And once my brain clicks in that mode, it's off like a horse race. It's gone. And my brain can go into to-do lists. It can go into things that I need to do. It can go into things that I forgot to do. It can have these incredible, amazing ideas. And sometimes I'll just be laying there and trying to fall asleep and two hours have passed. And one of my mentors gave me this simple tip a while ago, is when you find yourself, your brain just going, just simply say, not right now. And guess what? It works. It's so stupidly simple that even telling you about it right now seems like it's fake. It's so stupidly simple,

but somehow it works. You say to yourself out loud, not right now. We'll deal with that later. It's just as if you're talking to somebody else. And some thoughts, you know, I said that one time and the thoughts are just gone. I'm like, oh my God, that's crazy. They disappeared. And I just go to sleep. And then sometimes it feels like the thoughts disappear for a few minutes and then they come back and I say, hey, I said not right now. And then they come back a few minutes later, I'm like, hey, I told you not right now. And it takes a couple times, but eventually it's like the brain becomes trained to listen to you when you speak to it like this. And since I've learned this, I've expanded into so many other areas of my life, so many other areas of my thinking, but also in people that I coach and that I've taught.

And I'm going to go ahead and tell you other places where this can fit in, right? You can try this out, use it. But when you notice yourself in a state that you don't want to be in, that is caused by too much thinking, whether that's thinking about your limiting fears or your beliefs or whatever might be holding you back or something that you're afraid in the future, or you're worrying too much, you're overthinking about something. Notice yourself, like say for instance, talking shit in your head, right? And you're talking shit to yourself. You got negative thoughts. Here's the key. Ready? Stop the bullshit in the moment. Say to yourself, that's not true. Stop lying to me. I don't accept the words that you're saying. I know it sounds kind of crazy because you're talking to yourself

and we tend to believe that people that talk to themselves are crazy, but that's what you got to do. You got to literally stop the bullshit in the moment. That's not true. So if you feel yourself talking to yourself and you're talking trash, you got negative thinking, starting to feel bad about it, stop yourself. That's not true. Stop lying to me. I don't accept the words that you're saying. Tell me something else because I'm not listening. And you literally talk to me. I don't accept the words that you're saying Tell me something else because i'm not listening and you literally talk to yourself And this can sometimes it takes a minute. Sometimes it takes 15 seconds But what's crazy about is if you get used to this you start, you know The the more that you do it the better that you become it and it's like training a dog

You know a brand new puppy not gonna be really good at going outside The more that you train to go outside train to go outside train to go outside train to go outside it stops going inside right that's just the things you have to realize our puppy used to go in the bathroom all the time outside or inside and now it's like once on a rare occasion it's like we happen to find some pee but he used to be like three times a day when he was a puppy and so it's the same time same thing for you we start to train your brain and train your brain and train your brain eventually your brain is like all right this is a dead end round. All right, let's go ahead and do what we need to do.

Because your brain is super smart. Your brain is, in my opinion, the most complex and most amazing piece of machinery in this universe. And when you can use it correctly, it really works to your benefit. The problem is that most of us aren't taught how to use our brain. And so when you can tell your brain, not right now, this isn't happening. This is a waste of our time. This is a waste of our energy. Your brain is like, yeah, this is a waste of our

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What if I screw up? What if I get sick? Nobody's going to take my position. All of this stuff. And you start going down this negative road that doesn't truly exist in this moment. It's a future that you're just imagining. So many people do this.

I've done this many times before. But you're sitting inside of your retail shop right now. The lights are on. You're paying the bills. Things are great, but you're imagining that something could go wrong in the future. What do you do? You stop the bullshit in the moment. You stop yourself.

You say, hey, Rob, this is not true. This is an imagined future. This future doesn't sound inspiring to me. Come up with a better one. And you talk to yourself as if you're talking to another person. This is not true. What you're thinking about is a fake future. Call it out when it is there. Call it out and put the, it's like, you know, it's like trying to fight a demon in the dark. That's going to be really hard. But if you turn on the light, you can at least see it.

So you've got to be able to turn on the light. Hey, what you're thinking about, Rob, is not real. This is not true. This is all imagined. This is fake. This is bullshit. I'm not going to listen to it anymore. And you literally talk to yourself as if you're talking to somebody else. It's wild. Bring the facts to the brain, not the imaginary. The business is not failing right now. The bills are paid. Bring it to the present moment where everything is okay. And what happens is you start to notice that you're training your brain not to go into those negative, anxious, fearful, worried states and to actually be in the present moment where you can actually identify reality and work through it. So, you know, if you get anxious sometimes, it. So, you know, if you get anxious sometimes, this works really well. Because first off,

all anxiety comes from imagining the future. Anxiety is not a chemical imbalance inside of your brain. Anxiety, and this is why it's so hard for doctors to learn how to fix it, is because there's no pill that can really fix it. It can kind of numb your thoughts and slow you down, all that stuff. And there is anxiety medicine. I understand that. But what's actually happening is the anxiety is coming from the thoughts that you're thinking. So anxiety comes from an imagined future. So no one has anxiety because they're imagining an amazing future. You're not sitting there and be like, oh my God, I'm so excited about the future. I'm so excited about this trip I'm about to take. And you're thinking about all the amazing things and you get anxious because of the amazing. You get anxious. Why? Because you're thinking about something in the future that is not true, that is completely BS, that is scary.

And that's why anxiety pops up. So what do you do? Just as everything else, you stop the bullshit in the moment. You say, that future is not true. This that I'm imagining right now is not true. Right now, I am safe. Right now, I am 100% safe. That alone, a lot of times, and I get messages, I've shared this before about anxiety, just saying to yourself, right now I am safe. Right now I am 100% safe. A lot of times we'll take your anxiety to almost zero. Might take it down 50%, might take it down 100%, whatever it is. Because your brain, your body, the two of those that are kind of unconscious, below your conscious mind, need to hear you're safe. And they need to go, oh, okay, we're safe. There's no reason to be anxious. And so what do you do? You talk to yourself. Hey, this is not true. This future that I am

imagining is imaginary, is not real. It is not true. Right now, I am safe. Right now, I am 100% safe. And then what do you do? You change your mind to something that you're grateful for. Right now, I'm grateful for the fact that I had an amazing breakfast. Right now, I'm grateful for the fact that I have my kids. Right now, I'm grateful that I am paying all the bills. Right now, I'm grateful for the amazing weather outside, whatever it is. And you switch your mind to all of the things that you have to be grateful for, because when you're going through anxiety, you're going through all of the things that you have to be fearful for. And so what we're doing is we're taking control of our mind because our mind has basically been a crazy, rabid, non-trained dog. And we're trying to figure out how to train this thing and to actually bring

it to the moment and to work in the correct way. How do we do that? We stop all of the bullshit in the moment. You've got to learn to stop it while it's happening. And are you going to be perfect at it? No, I don't expect you to be or anyone to ever be perfect at anything. It's going to take you some time to identify and you might have some issues, might have some fears or worries or anxiety or any of that. When you notice the way that you're feeling,

next time you notice it, stop the bullshit in the moment. Talk to yourself. You've got to learn to bring yourself out of the imagined future and into the present because everything right now in this second is fine. Everything in your present moment right now is fine. You might say, oh, well, but Rob,

I'm worrying about the bills that I have to pay next week. Well, that's not in this present moment. That's next week. And worrying about your bills ain't going to pay your bills, right? So being right in this moment and being okay in this moment and not feeling anxious or worried or anything about this moment will allow you to be able to take action and to be able to actually pay those bills. Because one thing that I do know is when you're worried, when you're fearful, when you're in a state of anxiety or fear or any of that stuff, it makes it much, much harder to take action. And so what you've got to do, if you're going to take action and get your bills paid, if that's the issue, or take action and do the things you need to do in your business,

or step out there and work through your anxiety, you've got to get to a present state right now of feeling good, of feeling okay, of knowing that you're safe. Because in this moment, how you feel is going to dictate the actions that you do or do not take. Because when you feel good, taking action is much easier than when you feel bad. When you feel bad, taking action is really, really hard. And so what are we trying to do? We're trying to train your brain into getting to a state of calm and peace and realizing that everything is safe and there's nothing wrong in this present moment. So that therefore in that moment, we feel good so that we can take action towards what it is that we need to do. So the key is to remember that when you're feeling a way that

you don't want to feel, when you're imagining fears and limiting beliefs in a future that scares you or something going wrong in the future, you've got to stop the bullshit in the moment. And you've got to talk to yourself as if you're talking to a friend that's going through a panic attack and be like hey this isn't real this is all fake you're safe you're 100 safe you've got everything that you need in this moment and you start thinking about the things that are true in this moment that you are good that you are safe that you are in a great place that you have many things to be grateful for and when you get yourself out of the fear out of the worry out the anxious, and you bring yourself into the moment, you can be calm and you can be peaceful a lot more times than not. It makes it easier to take action towards

the future that you're trying to create. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in at Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. Also, I just started a brand new Instagram specifically for this podcast. And all we're putting up is podcast clips and all of that stuff. So if you want to see some of the video podcast clips and all the things we put up there on Instagram, it is The Mindset Mentor Podcast. Very easy to find. The Mindset Mentor Podcast on Instagram. Go ahead and follow us there as well. And I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an

amazing day.