The Mindset Mentor - Stop Worrying About the Future

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Mindset and Motivation Podcast, one of the top motivational podcasts in the world. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, we come out with a short, to the point, no BS episode to help make massive changes in your mind and transform you from who you are now to who you want to be. My name is Rob Dial and the podcast starts now. Welcome to today's episode. Today we're going to be talking about how to stop worrying about the future. If you like this episode, please hit that subscribe button so that

Starting point is 00:00:46 you never miss another episode. Okay, so diving in and talking about your future and worrying about your future. The first thing that I want to tell you is no matter who you are, what you need to know is this. It is normal to worry about your future. In my opinion, it's something that we all have built inside of us. We're always going to worry about our future at some point. Now, some people worry about their future a lot, and some people worry about their future just a little bit. But what I want you to realize is that there is still worry. The point of today's episode is, number one, to make you aware of it, and number two, to

Starting point is 00:01:23 teach you how to minimize the worry. Because if it's too much, then you want to tone it down, and you want to just be able to worry about it a little bit. Now, you might ask yourself, why do I worry about the future? Why does every person, why does it exist inside of the human system? Well, the first thing you want to think about is this, and this is how I relate everything in this world. I think about how did our ancestors, our distant ancestors, I don't mean our ancestors from a few hundred years ago, I mean 20,000 years ago, why did they have this part of their body exist? Why did it exist in this brain, this fear or this worry about the future or the uncertainty?

Starting point is 00:02:06 Well, let's think about it for a second. 20,000 years ago, why would worrying about the future benefit? How would worrying about the future benefit our ancestors? Well, I guess the way that you could think about it is this. Let's say that you're walking by a stream with your friend Todd, right? Let's say that you're walking by a stream with your friend Todd, right? Let's say Todd is your friend from 20,000 years ago. And you're walking by a stream and out of nowhere of the stream, an alligator comes up, grabs Todd. He's dead, gone forever. Well, next time you go by a stream of water, you're probably going to worry about the fact that something might jump out.

Starting point is 00:02:48 Next time you go to a stream of water and actually take your cup down to the stream and get water out of it, because you can't avoid water as a human. It's impossible to avoid water. But next time you go down, you put your cup in the water. Guess what? You're going to worry about the fact that you might be attacked because your friend Todd was once attacked. Now, it won't make you completely avoid this thing, this water, for instance, but it will make you more cautious next time. For instance, how does this relate to being a human

Starting point is 00:03:19 right now? Let's say you're getting into a new relationship. You've been in a bad relationship before. Maybe you were really hurt in your last relationship. Well, then you don't want to go into this relationship the same way. And there might be fear of the future or worry that it might not work out because in our past, it didn't work out. Now, just the same as in your past, if you were around 20,000 years ago and your friend was attacked, you wouldn't avoid water again. You would just be smarter next time you came around water, right? You would be more smart and more diligent and maybe more intentional with the steps that you took around water. Same thing about a relationship.

Starting point is 00:04:01 Just because you were burned in the past doesn't mean that you should never get into another relationship and worry about relationships the rest of your life. It means that you should be smarter this time. You should be more intentional this time. And maybe you should take better steps this time. Maybe it was your fault. Maybe it was their fault. Maybe it's both of your faults, the reason why it didn't work out. But how can you make it work out this time? So worrying about the future is part of what exists inside of us. And ask yourself, how did it benefit our ancestors 20,000 years ago? If I can think back, how would this feeling that I feel, and this isn't just with worry about the future, this is with everything. Because what's happened is humans, we have evolved, our outside world has

Starting point is 00:04:45 evolved. If you look out, if you were to take someone from 20,000 years ago and put them right in here, they would be like thinking that they're on a completely different planet, right? Even though the external world has changed a lot since then, the internal world really hasn't changed all that much. The part of our brain that sends the signals that says worry, fear, danger still exists the same way that it did back then. Worry, fear, danger. Because the human system, the brain only cares about one thing and one thing only. That's survival. It doesn't care about your success. It doesn't care about your happiness. It doesn't care about how much money you have in your bank account or how cool you look to the people that are around

Starting point is 00:05:27 you. It cares about one thing and one thing only, and that is survival. And if you've been injured in the past, then you might worry about your future because there's only two things that we actually know. We know our past because we were there and we know our future because we're currently here. I'm sorry, actually, that wasn't correct. We know our future because we're currently here. I'm sorry, actually, that wasn't correct. We know our present because we're currently here. Our future is the unknown. And an unknown is always seen as a threat in the brain because unknown means that there could be, in some sort of way, danger. So what does this mean exactly?

Starting point is 00:06:02 How do we get past this? Well, number one, the first thing we need to do is acknowledge it. It exists. You're not going to get rid of fear. You're not going to get rid of worry. You're not going to get rid of those things, but you can minimize them. If you think of it as a dial, a volume dial that's inside of your car, maybe your worry is at a nine or a 10 right now. Can you dial it down each day? An eight, a seven, a six. A couple of years from now, that worry might be a two. So it's about acknowledging it and it's about learning how to work through it.

Starting point is 00:06:34 So that's the first thing. Because if you've put your hand on a hot stove, you're never gonna have to get near a hot stove and you're not gonna put your hand on it again because you've been burned once. But it's about being smarter next time you get into the kitchen, right? That's what it's about. So the first thing you have to get near a hot stove and you're not going to put your hand on it again because you've been burned once. But it's about being smarter next time you get into the kitchen, right? That's what it's about. So the first thing you have to do is you have to acknowledge that this is part of your body. Acknowledge that this is just the way your brain works. But you can start to rewire it.

Starting point is 00:06:57 You don't have to worry as much. The future is going to come, but you don't have to worry about every single aspect of the future, right? So the first thing to do is to acknowledge it. The second thing to do is start asking yourself some questions. So if you're getting into a relationship, because we'll just keep going with that example. If you're getting into a relationship, a couple questions you could ask yourself is, what's different about this situation than my last situation? Well, I don't know you and I don't know your relationship, but I do know two things. Number one, the person is different. So that's why it could be a different outcome. And number two, you are different, which is why it could be a different outcome.

Starting point is 00:07:37 So then that right there, if you think about it, should make you go, yeah, I guess that makes sense. Maybe this one will work out. Maybe I don't need to be worried about placing my hand on that hot stove because this is a different situation. I'm going into it differently with a different person and I'm smarter. I know what steps to take and I know how to be more intentional in this relationship as well. But I also know how to watch my back and make sure that the same things that happened in the last relationship don't happen in this relationship. Does that make sense? So worrying about your future is going to happen.

Starting point is 00:08:10 Here are some key questions that I want you to ask yourself though that you really need to understand to help you reframe your mindset whenever you're worrying about the future, whenever you're worrying about what could or could not happen coming up. The first question you can ask yourself, like I said, is what is different about it this time? Right? Jot that down if you have a second. Whenever I worry about the future, these are the three questions that I'm going to ask myself to try to reframe my mind.

Starting point is 00:08:37 First question is what is different about it this time? The second question is what good can come from this? Okay, second question is what good can come from this? Jot it down. And the third question is why should I not be afraid of this? Because you have to realize the questions that you ask yourself, your brain is a problem solving mechanism. If I ask you what color shirt I'm wearing, even if I don't allow you to answer, you could still look at my shirt and go black. Your brain answers the question before you actually have a chance to answer it out loud. Your brain's a problem solving mechanism. So if you ask questions that are bad, like, you know, why does this always happen to me?

Starting point is 00:09:25 Why does this person always have to be such an a-hole? Why do I always make this mistake those types of questions? Ones that are not empowering you're gonna find the answer to them because your brain is a problem-solving mechanism Why do I always make these mistakes? Well, your brains gonna find a whole bunch of reasons why you always make those mistakes So what's the solution to those problems? Let's start asking better questions that are empowering questions so that our brain can find the answer to those. So what is the example of what I mean by that? Why should I not be afraid of this is a perfect example. Because your brain is going to go, oh, here's the reasons why you should not be afraid of it.

Starting point is 00:10:01 It's a different person. You're different. The relationship is different. You've grown. They've grown. All of these things can be answers. So question number one is what is different about it this time? Question number two, what good can come from this? And question number three, why should I not be afraid of this? So those are the questions that I have for you. If you can learn to take a pen and paper and take your brain, because when things are running around in your brain

Starting point is 00:10:25 It's very abstract. We think we know the answers to something but until we take that abstract thought and put it on a piece of paper It's not really clear on exactly what we should do So if you can get really good at asking yourself questions in your brain and then putting them down on a piece of paper and Start to figure them out Well, then your life will be a lot simpler of paper and start to figure them out, well then your life will be a lot simpler. So that is the key to how to stop worrying about the future and how to stop worrying about the unknown. First off, acknowledge it. It is part of you and it will forever be a part of you. But what you can do is you can learn to turn the knob down a little bit and then get really good at sitting down,

Starting point is 00:11:00 asking yourself questions, and writing through them. So that's everything I got for you this episode. If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend. And also do us a favor, go ahead and give us a rating and review so that we can continue to grow. There's a lot of importance put on the rating and review system inside of iTunes. So if you give us a rating and review,

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The Mindset Mentor - Stop Worrying About the Future

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