The Mindset Mentor - Stop Worrying And Replace It With This!

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host Rob Dial. If you're the type of person who wants to improve themselves by learning about yourself, learning about neurology, psychology, your early childhood development, your patterns, your subconscious, all of that, hit that subscribe button. Those are all things that I talk about and I put out episodes four times a week so you can understand yourself better so that you hit that subscribe button. Those are all things that I talk about and I put out episodes four times a week so you can understand yourself better so that you can improve your life. So once again, hit that subscribe button. Today, I'm going to be talking about how to stop worrying and what you should replace

Starting point is 00:00:37 it with if you're the type of person who worries. And we're going to talk about that thing that everybody loves, which is worry. We're going to talk about how to replace it with something that's much, much more productive. I want to ask you this question. Let's take a step back before we dive in. When was the last time that worrying did anything positive for you? Don't worry, I'll wait. Find a time where worrying did something positive for you.

Starting point is 00:01:03 Because when was the last time that worrying got you anywhere? I've said this stat on this podcast many times before, but 85% psychologists have found, not some just random stat that I'm pulling out of my ass. Psychologists have found that 85% of what you worry about never happens. Never happens. And out of the remaining 15%, only 12% of that, which is the majority of it, 12% of it doesn't happen near as bad as you actually think it will, which means that 97% of what you worry about either doesn't happen, 85% of it, or happens but not anywhere near as bad as you thought it was, which means that 3% of what you worry about happens. Just think about how much freaking mental energy it takes up. Just think about that.

Starting point is 00:01:54 Like I was talking to a friend of mine probably about five years ago at this point, and we were having this conversation because he was in two industries at one time. He was running an office for a company that I used to work for. And he was also helping his parents with a construction company. And he was helping his parents run their construction company. They'd had it for like 20 or 30 years and he was taking over it. And I said, how much time do you put into your office? And he's like, oh man, I put like 5% of my time into my office. And I said, how much mental energy does it take though throughout the day?

Starting point is 00:02:28 And he's like, oh God, probably like 90% of my mental energy. I was like, so you're putting 5% of your physical energy into your office, but that takes up 90% of your mental energy. Like just imagine how much energy that takes to worry, to process, to have that going in the back of your head. And so what I want you to do, I'm going to give you studies on this, is to start replacing your worry with taking action. I will say at first, any action. Doesn't matter. Just do something. Because usually when you're worrying, you're doing nothing. Like very rarely is somebody in the middle of a really great workout and they're

Starting point is 00:03:09 worrying about something. Usually worry comes when you're sitting on the couch, staring at the screen watching Netflix, or you're in your car scrolling on Instagram in a parking lot, right? So just take any action. Get your physical body moving. Because what tends to happen is people always think, oh, well, I need to wait to be motivated and then I'll take action. But psychologists actually found the exact opposite of true. Exact opposite of that is true. I wrote about this in my book. But motivation actually usually follows action. So you want to take action first in order to give yourself a chance to be motivated. So if you find yourself worrying, just get your ass up and do something. Something that's a movement.

Starting point is 00:03:55 Go for a run. Go for a walk. Do 100 jumping jacks. Put on your favorite song and dance around your house like an idiot. I don't care. Get your heart rate up. get your breath rate up, and then take some sort of action towards even if it's just a small little thing that checks off a to-do list, makes you feel like you're moving in the right direction, makes you feel a little bit productive because it

Starting point is 00:04:20 will start to make you feel like you're moving in the right direction and it'll make you feel like you're progressing. And when you are progressing, the thing that you naturally want to keep doing is progressing. Like Tony Robbins always says, happiness equals progress. Progress equals happiness. So it's like just a little bit, just take the littlest step forward that you can. There's a study that was done in 2005 in Psychological Bulletin and found that the benefits of frequent positive effect does, and found that the benefits of frequent positive effect does, it was called the benefits of frequent positive effect, does happiness lead to success? And they found that taking positive actions and engaging in proactive behavior led to greater overall

Starting point is 00:04:58 well-being of the people who took the action and greater success long-term in their lives. So whenever you start worrying, become self-aware, figure out a way to take some sort of action. Replace your worry with action. Worry tends to die down when you're making progress towards your destination. Worry dies when progress is made. Get a tattoo of it. Worry dies when progress is made. So let's give you an example right

Starting point is 00:05:25 i have worked with and trained thousands of sales peoples and the thing is that i love about sales is that it's all psychology and sales people as much as they seem like they've got it together they are the most finicky people ever and they can have a really great sales day and then they can have a fight with you know their girlfriend and come in and have a terrible. If you're in sales, and let's just give you an example, if you're in sales and you need to make $1,000 this week to pay your mortgage, it can make you start to worry. That's typically what people do. They start to worry about how you're going to pay your bills. What if people say no? What if they don't answer the phone? And I worry all of the things that might happen.

Starting point is 00:06:06 But when you tend to worry, you tend to take no action or very little action. But what good does that do to sit around and worry when you've got to make a thousand dollars today to pay your mortgage? What good does worry ever do for you? Worrying does nothing. Worrying takes energy. So why don't you just use that energy to take action? If you're worried about how to pay your bills, your mortgage, whatever it is, well, worrying about it feels crippling and usually keeps you in the inaction. So ask yourself, what can I do right now about this? I notice myself worrying. Oh my God, I've got to pay my mortgage. What am I supposed to do?

Starting point is 00:06:50 What can I do right now about this? Well, I can replace worry with action. I can get up and make phone calls. I can stop feeling sorry for myself for this reason or that reason or this reason or that reason. And I can take positive movement by taking action. And here's the best part about taking action. Okay. You don't have to believe in yourself in order to take action belief. I don't know where this, this crazy idea came from for people. Well, I got to believe in myself and then I'll go do it. No belief is not a prerequisite to taking action. So do something, anything. If you can tell your boss,, hey, I'm not in it right now. I need 20 minutes. I need to go for a walk. I need to get back into it. I don't know any sales, like good sales coach or sales mentor or whatever it might be, sales manager. If you walk up to them and

Starting point is 00:07:38 you're like, hey, my mind's really out of it. I've got to go for a walk for like 10 minutes. Is that cool? I don't know many of them that'll say no, right? Small movement towards your goal is better than standing still. One of my very first mentors used to always say, you're either green and growing or you're brown and dying. And in Dale Carnegie, he wrote in his book, Stop Worrying and Start Living. He says, the secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you're happy or not. So don't bother to think about it. Spit on your hands and start to get busy. Your blood will start to circulate.

Starting point is 00:08:10 Your mind will start ticking. And pretty soon, this whole positive upsurge of life will come up in your body. And you don't have to worry. I'm sorry, hold on, let me go back. And pretty soon, this whole positive upsurge of life in your body will drive worry from your mind. So get busy, keep busy. It's the cheapest kind of medicine that there is on earth and one of the best. That was written about 80 years ago. You need to know this, and I say this over and over again in the podcast, inaction creates more inaction. Action creates more action. So if you find yourself in your worry and

Starting point is 00:08:47 in your feelings and all boop boopie doo and feeling all sad for yourself and I'm a victim, you're probably not doing anything. You're probably leisurely sitting around doing nothing for yourself, for the world, for anybody. Get up and do some sort of action, whatever it might be. The successful person, whatever success means to you, right? The successful person goes about life and they do what they need to do regardless of how they're feeling. It doesn't mean that they don't worry. It doesn't mean that they don't have fear. It doesn't mean that they don't have limiting beliefs. It means that they take action in spite of the worry, in spite of the fear, in spite

Starting point is 00:09:25 of the limiting beliefs. A big, really, really big misconception that I've seen is that with people is that people that are successful don't worry. They look at them and they're like, oh, they don't worry. They don't have any self-doubt. They just, they wake up and they feel good and they kick ass. I want you to understand nothing can be further from the truth. wake up and they feel good and they kick ass. I want you to understand nothing can be further from the truth. They're worried or they're sad or they're sick, all of that, but they take action

Starting point is 00:09:51 no matter how they feel. They take action regardless. They know that confidence comes from working towards their goals. You know, another thing that people always think is like, oh, I'm not a confident person, so therefore I can't do this. Confidence is not something that people are born with. Confidence is not something that you just have or you don't. Confidence is a skill set. Confidence is earned. And here's the cool thing about it. What I have found, and I had a misconception of this when I was younger, I have found that I have gotten some of the most confidence in myself, not from succeeding, not always from successes, but by doing things that I didn't want to do. And even if I didn't succeed, like if I said, okay, I'm going to do

Starting point is 00:10:32 this thing that I don't want to do. And even if I don't succeed, I still am watching myself. The, you know, the awareness in the background is watching myself do something that I didn't want to do, showing up for myself to try to make my life better. That alone gave me confidence, not the succeeding and getting whatever it is that I wanted. A lot of times, confidence comes from doing what people didn't want to do. So whether or not they succeeded, they showed up for themselves. And that builds a whole lot of confidence. And they know that motion creates emotion. So instead of sitting around and worrying about what might happen, when we know that 85% of what we worry about never happens, and the other 15%, 12% of that

Starting point is 00:11:15 doesn't happen the way we think that it will. So 97% doesn't happen the way that we think it's going to. So instead of sitting around and worrying about what might happen, they get off their butts, they get their blood moving, and they make things happen. You know, like for instance, let me make it a real stupid example for you, right? Let's say I'm sitting here and I have my laptop in front of me. And I look at it and I go, oh my God, my laptop's running out of battery. Okay, the laptop's running out of battery. Oh my gosh, well, what happens if it runs out of battery?

Starting point is 00:11:42 Oh my gosh, well, I have this Zoom call that's going to be happening. And what happens? What is my boss going to say if I don't show up to the Zoom call? And how am I going to send this message and this email to them? Instead of worrying about the battery running out, just get up and plug in the freaking laptop. That's kind of how it is. It's worrying about something you don't need to worry about. that's kind of how it is is it's it's worrying about something you don't need to worry about just fix the problem see most of what we do most of the the blocks the barriers that are in front of us are not placed on in front of us by anyone else you are your worst enemy when I work with a lot of business owners and I always work with them and what I say is like when you look at a

Starting point is 00:12:24 business and the health of the business, the health of the business always reflects the health of the mindset of the business owner. So the barriers and the blocks that the business owner puts themselves shows up in their business. So what is it that you've been worrying about too much? What mental barriers have you been putting in front of yourself? What action can you take to overcome those barriers so that you will stop worrying less? You know, instead of worrying, like an example would be like, instead of worrying about money or that you don't have money, just ask yourself, what can I do right now to make more money? You can sell some stuff on

Starting point is 00:13:00 eBay. You could start an Etsy shop. There's a million ways to make a million dollars. So instead of just sitting there and worrying about money or saying you don't have money, just ask yourself, what can I do right now to make money? What are my top five revenue generating activities that I can do right now? And then just do one of them. Instead of worrying about your health, oh my God, am I going to be sick? Am I not going to be sick? Just ask yourself, what can I do right now to improve my health? What you focus on expands. If you worry about the bad that could happen, more bad will happen. If you replace that worry with taking

Starting point is 00:13:33 action to combat that outcome that you're sitting there worrying about, then you're pushing that outcome further away from you. I don't claim to know how the universe works. I'm not smart enough, and I don't think anybody on this earth is smart enough to tell you. But I am going to tell you something that is completely true about money, right? And I used to worry a lot about money, and I've told this story before on the podcast. And if it didn't happen in my life, I would not believe it. I had a conversation with my mom back in 2012. It was actually 2013. I moved to Austin in 2012. I went in back. I quit my job. I backpacked Europe for three months. I moved out to Austin. And in 2013, I had a conversation with my mom and I was

Starting point is 00:14:17 starting to run out of money. And I didn't have a job yet. I'd been here for like three or four months trying to find jobs. Couldn't find the money, right? And my mom is like, well, you've only got like $5,000 left. You've got like a month, maybe two months left of money to stay in Austin. Are you worried? And I said, no. And she's like, how are you not worried? I said, because if I'm worried about making money, I will never get the money. So I'm going to use my mental energy to know that it's coming to me in some sort of way. And she's like, all right, I will never get the money. So I'm going to use my mental energy to know that it's coming to me in some sort of way. And she's like, all right, I guess that makes sense. But I was like, I will not allow myself to worry because I trust and I know that it's going to happen.

Starting point is 00:14:55 So I didn't put my mental energy into it. And I swear to you on everything that I have, this is a true story. About, I don't know, a week later, five days later, something like that. I get a call and I'm driving my car in Austin and it was the HR manager of the company that I had quit almost a year prior. And she's like, Hey Rob, how's it going? We're catching up. She's like, Hey, I got to talk to you real quick. Are you driving? And I was like, yeah. She goes, can you pull over? I was like, sure. And she goes, Hey, I just want to let you know that last year we had a computing mistake and all of your commissions and everyone else's commissions in the company were incorrect. We owe you money. And I was like, okay, that's cool. How much do

Starting point is 00:15:34 you owe me? And I don't remember the exact amount, but it was like $24,000, $28,000. They owed me. And this is days after having a conversation with my mom about how I wasn't worried about money. Cause if I worry it, I'm energetically blocking it from coming into my life. Now you could be like, oh my God, that's some hippie shit. You can't, I don't care. That's fine. But that is my belief is that if I worry about it, I'm not going to get it. Because worrying is lack and the energy of lack is never going to bring something into

Starting point is 00:15:58 your life. And so she literally is like, I need to wire it into your account. Can I get your bank account number? And I was like, it's the same as it's always been. The next day, a fucking wire went into it. And I was like, this is crazy. I called my mom up and she's like, I don't know how you do this. My mom said, she's like, you always get what you want. I don't know how. I was like, because I just don't believe that what I don't want doesn't exist. I don't, let me say that again. I don't believe that what I don't want exists. I only focus on the thing that I want. The universe will be on your side when you're taking action.

Starting point is 00:16:28 So ask yourself, what am I worrying about that's taking away from my happiness? What am I worrying about? Like, what am I worrying about that's holding me back? And what action can I take to overcome that outcome that I'm worried about? So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in it, RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. If you love this podcast, you will absolutely love Mindset Mentor Plus. I designed it to help you actively integrate

Starting point is 00:16:54 every single one of these episodes into your life. And here's how it works. Every single episode that comes out of the Mindset Mentor, Mindset Mentor Plus subscribers get a whole lot more. You will get detailed, multiple page printable worksheets, basically mini masterclass that is way more in depth than just the podcast itself. And inside of there, there's journaling questions, there's challenges, there's assignments, so that you're not just listening to these podcast episodes, but you're integrating

Starting point is 00:17:18 every single one of them and improving your life faster. I also do monthly Q&A sessions inside of there as well, and a whole lot more bonuses. And it is the most affordable thing that I could possibly make. It is way less than a dollar a day, because effectively, I just want to help as many of you guys improve your life as quickly as possible. If you want to learn more about it, go to mindsetmentor.com. Once again, mindsetmentor.com. And with that, I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - Stop Worrying And Replace It With This!

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