The Mindset Mentor - Stop Your Suffering

Episode Date: May 3, 2019

Episode 580 - Pain is inevitable in this life, we will all go through it some day. Suffering, on the other hand, is an option. You create your own suffering. The problem with that is that most people are constantly putting themselves through suffering by reliving terrible moments of their past or wishing the would have done something differently. In this episode, I will teach you how to stop suffering so that you can create the peace in your life that you deserve. Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to the Mindset and Motivation Podcast, one of the top motivational podcasts in the world. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, we come out with a short, to the point, no BS episode to help make massive changes in your mind and transform you from who you are now to who you want to be. My name is Rob Dial, and the podcast starts now. Welcome to today's episode. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. And last but not least, if you have not yet given a rating and review to this

podcast, I would greatly, greatly appreciate if you go to however you are listening to us, if it's iTunes, Stitcher, SoundCloud, CastBox, whatever it is, and give us a rating and review. I don't think everybody, if you're not in podcasting, it's really hard to understand how much ratings and reviews actually help a podcast grow. It's not for other people to see necessarily. It is for that, but it's also for the fact that the more ratings and reviews, the more likely iTunes and other platforms are actually going to recommend that other people listen to this.

So say, for instance, someone's listening to a podcast that's a motivational podcast, they would be ranking mine against somebody else's depending on who has the most plays, who has the most ratings, reviews, all of those things. So if you're out there and you want to do us a favor, give us a rating and review and I will be giving away another book, my favorite book, the best book that I recommend that every single person starts off with, which is Think and Grow Rich and a couple extras to a few lucky winners of people who are actually putting up reviews. And I will be giving them out, telling you who they are, all of that stuff. So if you want to possibly win a book and then also at the same time,

win some extras from us, go ahead and go to however you're listening to us. Give us a rating review. Be honest. Tell us about what we love. Tell about how great everything is, how much you love it, how motivational, how your life hasn't changed completely since you started listening to the podcast, all of that stuff. And I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. So go ahead and give us a rating and review. Okay. Today, what I'm going to be talking about is suffering and pain. Pain and suffering, which we always think kind of go hand in hand. But I'm going to give you a quote from Buddha that I hope will change your mind on that. Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. Let me say that again. Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. So this is how I try to live my life is understanding this concept. If you are alive,

this concept. If you are alive, it is a guarantee. Something at some point in time, bad, something bad will happen to you eventually in your life. There's no way around that. And we all know someone who has had something happen to them, something bad happened to them, and it changes them forever. We all know someone who's had something bad happen to them, and it changes them for the worse. Like somebody dies, somebody breaks up with them something happens they lose their job and they just spiral out of control something goes wrong right they just allow it to change their life completely we also know people though that have had terrible things happen to them and it changes their life for the good right some people they change their life for the good some people this terrible thing happens and they they realize that they want to have something more from their life for the good, right? Some people, they change their life for the good. Some people, this terrible thing happens and they realize that they want to have something more from their life.

Some people have something bad happen to them and it changed their life for the bad. They become cynical or negative or depressed. Here's the thing. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice. Let me say that again. Pain is inevitable. You will have something painful happen to you in your life. If you have not had a painful experience, I guarantee you there's a pretty good chance that you won't get to the end of your life without something painful happening to you. Pain is 100% going to happen to you, but suffering is a choice. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is a choice. Pain is that painful experience. So I could give, let me give you a little bit of a definition, I guess, if I could. Painful is, pain is a painful experience. Something that happened to you that you wish did not happen.

Something bad. Somebody breaks up with you. Somebody dies. Something like that happens. That's a pain that happens. It's going to happen. Suffering is allowing that pain to linger, allowing it to fester longer than it needs to, right? Suffering is not holding you. You are holding on to suffering. Now, I know some of you might be listening to that and you might say, you know, but you don't understand though, but this has happened in my life. My parents screwed me up in this way or this person screwed me over. You know, that person died. This happened or that happened. Someone treated me badly. Someone passed away. Someone screwed me over. Yes, that happened. But that is the past, right? If it happened in the past, it's the past.

The past has absolutely no right to dictate the way you feel in the present and what you do in the future. The past has no right to dictate the way that you feel in this present moment or to actually what you're going to do with your life in the future. It's all about the meaning that you give to something. I'll give you an example with me. If you've listened to my podcast for a while, you probably know my father passed away when I was 15 years old. He was an alcoholic and he passed away from being an alcoholic when I was 15 years old. And there's basically two different paths I think I probably could have taken in that, right? The victim or the victor is the way I always think

of it. The victim or the victor. I could have let that ruin my life, right? I come from a city that is the number one, has the number one opiate overdoses in all of Florida and one of the highest in the United States. I could have gone down that path, right? The victim is allowing that pain to hold me back. The victor is using that pain to propel me forward. So are you playing the victim card? Did somebody break up with you? Did someone screw you over? Did somebody die? It's okay to be sad. It's okay to mourn when someone dies, but continue to carry that baggage with you is absolutely useless and it's unnecessary, right? Some people, and I've had this feeling, so I could speak from experience where it feels like you're just, you have this,

this suffering that you're just keeping with you and keeping with you. And it feels like a, like you're just carrying a backpack with a hundred pounds. And it's just like, no matter what you do, it's always in the back of your head and it influences everything that you do, right? If you're walking down the street with a hundred pound backpack, it's going to change the way and everything you do. It's going to change the way you walk. It's going to change the way that you talk, the way you breathe, your physiology, everything's going to change it. That's exactly what holding onto pain and actually making suffering does. It changes and influences every single thing that you do. The past has no right to change your present. Understand that whatever happened to you, it changes your life in a good way or in a negative way. But you are in charge

of the meaning and the power that you give to that thing that happened to you. I always tell people that the worst day of my life was the day my father passed away. The best day of my life was the day my father passed away. It's the same day, right? Why was it the worst day of my life? Obviously that's pretty obvious. Why was it the best day of my life? Because I decided I learned at that point in time, Holy crap. He was the first person that I ever knew that died. And I realized, Holy crap, like this is, this is real. I'm going to do this one day. I'm going to do this one day. I'm going to die in some sort of way. Am I going to look back and look at his,

I looked at his life and saw, you know what? It was wasted potential. He was, my grandparents, who are some of the smartest people I've ever known, say that my father was the smartest person they've ever met in their entire life. And I thought to myself, that was wasted potential, right? That was wasted potential.

That was a wasted life in some sorts of way. I don't know what I'm saying. In some sort of way, right? But I'm not going to allow that to happen to me. I'm not going to allow that to be what I do. I'm not going to allow myself to have a wasted life. So maybe the point of his life was to create me to show a wasted life so that therefore the point of his life was to create me to show a wasted life so that therefore I don't do the same. I don't know. I'm not in charge of this. I'm just going with the flow of whatever this life takes me through, but I'm not going to give that event the power that it doesn't deserve. I'm not going to allow that event to hold me back. I'm going to make it propel me forward. Why am I so passionate about

what I do? Why does, why does everybody think that I'm yelling whenever I'm so passionate is like, whenever I'm doing these episodes or videos, when I have videos go viral on Facebook, it's the best thing ever because I get to see like the whole human experience and people are like, dude, chill out. Why would smile a little bit? And it's like, I can't, I just get in the zone where I just, everything flows out of me. And I'm just so intense because I believe in it so much that it's like smiling doesn't even cross my mind because I'm just trying to get these, this information, these words out of my face so quickly as it's coming through my mind. Right. And so that's that the reason why it is that way is because the fact that I'm so

passionate about trying to help other people live the life that they want to because I've seen a life wasted. And I know that the power that I'm going to give that is the power to propel me forward to make sure other people don't waste their lives as well. So if you've had something painful happen to you, if you haven't, or if you have, either way, don't allow that to hold you back. Know that there's a pretty good chance that something painful will happen to you in the future. Someone's going to break up with you. Someone's going to screw you over. You're going to lose money. Someone's going to die. All of those things. But you have to realize,

after the pain, the initial pain, the mourning, all of those things. The suffering is not absolute. It's not needed. It's you that holds on to the suffering, right? Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. So if you like this episode, please do me a favor, share it with one person that you love. If you're listening to this episode, that means that you're listening to it for free. Could you pay it forward and do me a favor and go ahead and share this with one person that you know and that you love? Another thing you could do, if you're listening on iTunes, please do me a favor and go and give my podcast a rating and review. If you give me a rating and review, it actually spikes the iTunes algorithm and makes more people see it. So

if you'll go ahead and give me a rating review on iTunes, I would absolutely 100% appreciate it. If you'll go ahead and give me a rating review on iTunes, I would absolutely 100% appreciate it. Just go in there. It'll take you like 10 seconds. Just click rating review, whatever amount of stars you want to give me, whether that's one star or five stars, whatever it is that you want to do, but please put it down and then give me a quick rating and just say, Hey, this is what I like about the podcast is what I don't like about the podcast, whatever you want, but please do that. So please share this with a friend. And also please go on iTunes and, uh, and do me a favor and click the button that says rating review. Give me a rating review. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode.

Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.