The Mindset Mentor - The #1 Reason Why People Fail

Episode Date: March 11, 2021

Have you ever wondered why people fail? In this episode, Rob and Dean talk about one of the main reasons why people fail at what they do. Follow me on IG here: @RobDialJr https://instagram.com/robdialjr Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And today is Thursday, which means it is the business edition of the Mindset Mentor, which means I am joined by my best friend and business partner now of 14 years, Dean DeVries. Dean, what is up, buddy? What is going on, man? Happy Thursday. It's great to be here. Happy Thursday. Today, we're going to be talking about the number one thing that we see that holds almost all entrepreneurs back from making millions of dollars. And we're going to be talking about the shiny object syndrome. And this kind of came up, Dean and I had a company

retreat this weekend where we flew in 10 of came up, Dean and I had a company retreat this weekend where we flew in 10 of our team members and we had a company retreat and everyone was talking about, oh man, we could do this and we could do this and we could do this. And I, the one thing that I said to them is I was like, guys, listen, there's a million ways to make a million dollars. There literally is. There might, there's more than a million ways to make a million dollars. But what you have to do is you have to figure out what it is that you want to do, what it is that you're good at, and you have to put your head down and you just have to do it and not take your head out of that until you've made that million dollars. Yeah. And you know, shiny object syndrome, the good old shiny object syndrome. I know it so well,

you know, and I think that's just part of the journey of being an entrepreneur, especially, you know, because there are so many options. We literally live in a world filled with options when it comes to, you know, business opportunities, ways to make money. And that's obviously the frame that we're going to be operating in today. But like, even outside of that, you know, when it comes to like, you know, dating, you know, dating is so hard nowadays from what I hear, because there's so many options between like, you know, finding people online and just us being connected with more people than ever before. And being able to, you know, have social media to, you know, just connect with new people. There's so many options. And so, you know, the shiny object syndrome to me is really a result of, you know, the seduction of all

of those options. And, you know, when we have too many options or when we're like overwhelmed by the options, it's the paralysis by analysis. We're really trying to like figure out what is the option that is going to be the best option. When, you know, when, when we focus on that, we really try to analyze that and we harp on that. It brings, it brings that idea of FOMO, right? The fear of missing out or, or FOBO, which is the fear of a better option, right? The worst thing in the world for, for a

lot of people, a lot of entrepreneurs is, yeah, but what if I miss out on that? You know, and that's, that's the, I think the main source of shiny object syndrome. And, you know, to be honest, like the reason why we second guess ourselves is because in today's society, this is what we're programmed to do. We're programmed to compare ourselves to each other, you know, and that's why like we hear it all the time where people feel afraid about putting themselves out there because they're afraid of what they're going to look like in this sea of all other options, right? So it works in many different ways. But for this context is, you know, the fear of a better option being out there on ways to make money, ways to make a living, ways to pursue our passion. Yeah. Yeah. And I really connect with the

fear of a better option is, you know, I think that's even like part of the reason why there's so much struggles nowadays, even just in relationships where it's just like, I'm with somebody who's really good. But, you know, if I go on Tinder or Hinge or Bumble or whatever, all of those apps are, I don't know, I've never used it before, but if I jump on them, is there somebody better than the current person that I'm with? You know, and the problem is with most people is that you see a lot of people who go into their business, they start their business and they get a few months into it and it does decent, but then they see, oh my gosh, there's another option over here. Actually, you know, I see this guy online that's making $10,000 a month doing this thing

with Facebook ads. Maybe I should learn about Facebook ads. And then they go and they do Facebook ads for a little while and they're like, oh my gosh, it's going okay. But maybe I should, you know, there's this guy over here that's making a ton of money on Amazon. Maybe I should go and see what, how he's doing and what he's doing. And what it really comes down to is that it seems like we don't really trust ourselves, right? FOMO doesn't exist. When we sit there and we go, you know what, this feels right for me. What I'm doing feels right. I trust that it feels right. It feels

like the path that I should be walking. And it feels like this is the thing that I should be doing. And really what it comes down to is just trust. And so many people have so much issue with trust now. I trust that what I'm doing right now is what I'm supposed to be doing unless it doesn't feel right later on down the road. But what I'm doing feels right. So, you know, what it really comes down to is like, are you listening to your heart or are you listening to the fear of possibly missing out or the fear of possibly something better down the road? Yeah. What's crazy about this too, is that even if the fear isn't like right there in our awareness, if it's even just like a subconscious thought of like, oh man, you know, I, I wonder if there's something better out there for me and yeah,

I'm going to keep my, my sales open, so to speak, and look at every opportunity that's out there. And not saying that that necessarily is a bad thing, but the fear of a better option or the fear of missing out on something is draining. It's literally, it consumes energy. And, you know, the, the belief that's really helped me through, you know, recovering from the shiny object syndrome is just this belief that I never have to worry because I believe that what is for me never goes by me, right? If there's something that really resonates with me and if I'm really listening to my heart and if I say, you know what, that feels right, you know, to your point that feels right versus like, Oh, I should

probably do this because I might make more money or I could be just like them, or I can, you know, have a better situation and I could be closer to my goals. Right. If, if, if the decision is made out of fear, you know, fear is a very powerful emotion. And when emotions are high, logic is low. We can't, we literally can't think straight when our emotions are high. And so fear really clouds our judgment. And, you know, it's, it's kind of a skill to, to discern like, right, am I making this decision out of fear or am I making this decision because it feels right for me? And, you. Am I making this decision out of fear or am I making this decision because it feels right for me? And, you know, we say this all the time, but like,

it's all about the awareness, right? Like if you're making a decision to go into a business or making a decision to, you know, take on another project, are you doing it because you fear not having it or not having the, you know, what it could potentially turn out to, or are you doing it because it feels right where you're like, man, I know that that's, that that just like, you know, I know if I take this project, I'm going to put my all into it. I have so much energy. And that's really what it comes down to is, is, is that decision draining your energy or is it giving you energy? Right. Because if you are really listening to your heart and really just following what, with like what feels right, even if you don't know

how to do it, right. But if it feels right, you're going to have a ton of energy. And if you're, if you're making the decision out of fear where it's draining your energy, then you're not going to show up as much. Yeah. One of the things I love is, is going back to the emotions or high logic is low. So if you're in a state of fear, your logic is going to be low in a perfect example of this that you can go back to is if you've ever been in an argument with someone that you're in a relationship with, you've maybe said things before where you're like, ah, shit, I shouldn't have said that. Right. Like after you say it, you're like, ah, that wasn't the best idea. And the reason, that's one of the reasons why when you're in an argument with somebody like just going, Hey, you know what? I love you. Maybe we should come

back in about an hour and just allow our emotions to come down so that we can, you know, come back and actually be in a loving state versus a, you know, a agitated screaming state. And, uh, and so I want to bring that in as far as like when you are in a fearful state and you are like, oh my gosh, am I going to pay my bills? Oh my my gosh is this business going to work you go oh what else is out there and you start thinking about switching to other things and shutting down what it is that you've been putting six months into when in reality everything's going to take time and what it really comes down to is you've got to really like decide you've got to pick your path and you've got to put everything into it and you you know, Will Smith says, there's no reason to have a plan B because plan B distracts from plan A. And you've got to have the idea of like,

I'm going to burn the ships. I'm going to do this one thing and it's either going to work out or I'm going to die trying. And if you put that much of a, of it's either happening or it's not, and I have no other options, 99% of the time it's going to succeed, right? And you've got to just basically burn the ships. And the one thing that I can really, well, the book is called The One Thing. I was going to say the one thing that I would recommend is the book called The One Thing by Jay Papasan and Gary Keller. That book changed my life because at that time you and I were running an Amazon business and our Amazon business was doing great. And this was about five years ago, six years ago, you and I were running an Amazon business. We were selling about a thousand products per month and we were doing really well,

but we were at the point where it's like, you know, am I going to do this Amazon thing? Or am I going to just literally put my entire life into the coaching and the podcasting and growing this business? And you and I had a, you know, coming to God meeting and we're like, Hey, is this, you were at that point getting into real God meeting and we're like, Hey, is this, you were at that point getting into real estate. And we're like, is this Amazon business what we truly want to do? Right. And I realized that having the Amazon business was taking time. It was taking energy. And that time and energy was coming away from my coaching business. And I went, you know what, if I fast forward 10 years from today, do I want to be known as the Amazon guy and the one

who made millions of dollars off of Amazon? Or do I want to be known as a coaching guy and the guy who's coached and helped millions of people? And I was like, easy decision. I want to be known as a coaching guy. And they made a very easy decision for me of like, okay, I've got to shut, we've got to shut down the Amazon business. And luckily you were on the exact same page. And the thing that happened with that is, is we got success from it because of the fact that we picked the path, we decided what we should do, we gave it everything. And that's the only way to really succeed at something is by deciding that this is what I'm going to do and put everything into it, not just like 50%. Hey, if you're using anything other than Indeed for your hiring,

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slash dial. That's Indeed's best offer available anywhere. Get free $75 credit at indeed.com slash dial indeed.com slash dial offer valid through March 31st terms and conditions do apply. Yeah, I'm really glad that you brought that up because as you're just kind of sharing that story, I tried to go back to the very beginning when we first got that idea. And I, I can't quite remember like the moment where we arrived at the idea, but what I do know for sure is, and I think you'd agree with this is that back then we were just looking for a cash grab, right? We were just like, we're looking for something that was like, Hey, how can I make, you know, passive income or how can I, you know, uh, accomplish these these things I'm seeing other people

do. And for, yeah, the Amazon business for us was that thing that it didn't feel totally right or totally aligned where we're like, damn, I'm so excited to ship another, you know, another product today, you know, is more so about like, okay, what do we have to grind our way, you know, grind our way through today in order to just ship more of these things? Because all we're really looking for is this dream and really just running away from the fear of not having something that could turn out to be what other people are doing, but it didn't really feel fully aligned. So I'm really glad that you, that you brought that up. The other thing that, that I wanted to bring into is, you know, this doesn't just show up in like business opportunities, but you know, this, this has showed up a lot in like our actual business. And we hadn't experienced

this weekend where it was like, yeah, you know, we could, you know, sell shirts and we could sell, you know, all this journals. Yeah. We can go down the rabbit. There's a ton of things we could, you know, sell shirts and we could sell, you know, uh, all this journals. Yeah. We can go down the rabbit. There's a ton of things we could do a hundred percent. And it was like, we finally got to the point where we're just like, look, it doesn't make any like, sure we could do that, but do we want to do that? Like, is that what really like gives us energy? And so like one example that pops up for me is I remember in real estate, one of the hardest things to do really in any business, but especially in real estate is prospecting every single day. And I remember, you know, looking for things to make it easier to prospect. And I would see like these testimonials of like, Hey, I got this system and

it's, you know, I landed 20 more clients and you know, this thing's amazing. And what, what they didn't share is how much work they were actually putting into that system to make it work. And I remember thinking like, Oh man. And I actually signed up for, I was like, man, I want this too. And come to find out I had to show up. I had to, you know, still do the work and I still, you know, it, it wasn't as sexy as it was, you know, as I thought it was before I had the experience of it. And so that was one example of like, Oh, that's gonna, that's gonna make, help me make more money and that's gonna help me be more successful. Okay. Yeah. I'll buy that. And as business owners, like vendors are like, you've got a huge target

on your back, you know, being a business owner, especially a business owner, that's really looking to grow. There's so many things that people can sell you, you know, whether it's systems, software, CRMs, you know, bells and whistles, different types of advertising, lead generation things. There's so many things that you could be sold, but it's really just, you know, and the, by the way, the reason why it's attractive is because it's like, yeah, I want more clients and I'm fearful of not having enough clients. So yeah, let me just go ahead and buy my way to get more clients when it never, ever works out the way that we think it does. Yeah. Yeah. And the energy that you could be using towards getting those new

clients or towards actually putting into your business, you're losing because you're consumed by some sort of fear. Right. And, you know, one of the things that you're talking about earlier was the energy that you have available to you. And, and I have a podcast coming out about this, but it's the whole idea of when you're fully aligned with what it is that you want to do, it actually gives you energy, right? We actually, you know, we run a thing called the Academy, the Accelerator Academy, and we had a workshop this week, which is advanced mindset stuff with people that we work with. And in Accelerator Academy, we talked about this as like, when you find your why, when you find that thing that truly you feel like you're, once again, not think,

feel like you're supposed to be doing. It gives you energy. Like if you see somebody and they look determined and they look like they're going to conquer whatever it is that's in front of them and they're going to get their goals, it's usually because they've attached a strong why to whatever it is that they're doing, which that actually gives them energy versus taking energy away from them. So when you're looking at what it is that you do as well, which another thing that could just help everybody is, is what you're doing. When you think about growing it, when you think about putting time into it, does it feel mentally draining just by thinking about that? Or does it make you excited? Because if it makes

you excited, that's something that gives you energy, which is probably something that you should be doing. Yeah. And the energy is really the greatest commodity in, in business. And it just didn't, in anything, if you have the energy to put into it, if we've got two people, person a and person B and person A has more energy and person B has less energy. I'm going to, I'm going to guarantee that person A has a much better chance of being successful in achieving. And you know, like the energy that we have available to us is the ceiling to what we can achieve. And so if the thing that we're doing gives us energy, it's, it, it's just, it's a self-perpetuating achievement engine versus something that feels draining that you got, you have to manufacture energy to put into it because it's like, Oh,

it doesn't really feel right. But man, I'm just fearful of this not working. I'm fearful of, you know, uh, not being able to make it or not being able to have the result that I want. And so I think like the big takeaway here is what can you just truly put your heart into what feels right. What feels like, you know, that you can get energy from it and also looking at it with like a really grounded perspective and, and understanding when you're making a decision out of fear is because when you're making that decision out of fear, uh, the fear of missing out or the fear of a better option, chances are maybe not all the time, but I'd say most of the time that decision's probably not in

your best interest. It's not going to guide you to your highest potential and it's not going to turn out the way that you envisioned it. The most important thing is what can you put your energy into? That's going to give you energy back. Even if you're not good at it, right? You can always get better. You'll always be able to, you know, improve in the things, but as long as you have the energy, that's the biggest commodity that, um, you know, that, that we need in order to, to achieve things and build businesses. Uh, so I think that's like the, the, the main takeaway here is, you know, what is it that gives you energy and what are the decisions that maybe are right in front of you right now that feel draining? Yeah. And you bring up a really good point as far as even if you're not good at it, because the majority of things that we start off and we're new at, we're not going to be good at. And so what we do is we tend to look at other people and go, Oh my God, I'm not as good as

this person. Maybe I shouldn't be doing it. But if you have energy from that thing, if that thing gets you excited, you will improve at it. Right? So like I remember, and I always use the example, but when I first started the podcast, there was a whole lot of fear around it. Cause I was like, who the hell is going to listen to me when they can listen to Tony Robbins? Right. Like that was just, but, but I was just, I, I just love this. Like it gives me energy. I have so much energy to do this and to learn this and to get better. And even if I wasn't, even if I didn't have a business, even if I didn't get paid for doing all these things, I would still be doing this in my free time. So another thing is like, what would you still be doing in your free time? Even if you weren't paid for it, because usually you can find out something that you could be paid for in there.

And so even if you're not good at it, if you go back and listen to my episodes five years ago, six years ago, I was okay, but I just feel like I'm a lot better than I am now. But it's just because of the fact that what I'm doing gives me energy. So I have no problem putting more and more time into it and going, this is something that I truly want to do. And one of the things that people have to realize is that the more successful that you become, the more opportunities that are going to come your way. Like that is one thing that I've absolutely in the past year realized is since the explosion of so many different things, I guess in the past year realized is since the explosion of so many different things, I guess in the past two years, but specifically the past year is the explosion

of the podcast, the explosion of the business, the explosion of everything has had made more people come out of the woodwork and want to give me opportunities. And we could do this together. We could do this together. We could just, and all of it sounds awesome and it sounds amazing. But if I take a little bit of my time out of what I'm currently doing now to go into starting a t-shirt company, which is one thing that I was thinking about, but it was taking time away from the core thing. Or if I go and decide to start a journal company or decide to start something else because people just want to put me into different things.

I'm like, that's taking away from my one core thing. What's interesting about the one core thing is that it's so far along down the road compared to everything else that nothing else new at this point in time could even come close to the amount of revenue that the one core thing is bringing in for me. So being successful is a double-edged sword because of the fact that you're going to get even more shiny object syndrome. So if you think it's bad now, it's only going to get worse when you start becoming successful and people start coming out of the woodwork and they want to work with you and they see, oh shit, this person's doing really well. Maybe I want to team up with them. You know, but the thing that I want to come back to that we've been saying that I

think is really key here is does it feel right? Right? Even if it's scary, does it feel right? Because too often we live in a society where we're all focused in our heads and thinking and logic, but we don't go, does this feel right for me? Does this feel like my truth? And if it does, well, then that is the thing that you should be doing. That's the thing that's going to give you energy. And ultimately that is the thing that no matter what, if you pursue it, will eventually give you the success in the life that you're looking for.

Yeah. So one thing I'll just add to that, cause when you're sharing about, um, you know, the, the idea of the more successful that you become, the more opportunities come your way. I, you know, what you said this weekend at our retreat with our team was really, really powerful. And, uh, like I, I got a lot from it. You said, this is the point we're at the point in our business where, you know, there's so many opportunities that this is actually the exact point that many entrepreneurs fail because they spread themselves too thin. And I just thought that that was, you know, come your way, the more successful you become. And the, the skill is how can I say yes to only the things that feel right. But, but also it's, it's even more important to say no to the things that might even be exciting, but actually doesn't feel right.

Or maybe the decisions coming from fear. So I just wanted to add that in before we wrap this baby up. For sure. Love that. Well, so that's what we got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love. And if you're interested in finding out how you can work with Dean and I, whether that is, you know, advancing your mindset through our accelerator Academy and doing the workshops with us that way, or if you're building a coaching business, go to bookwithdean.com. Right now you can fill out an application. If you happen to be someone that we feel like we could help, we'll reach out to you. If not, we'll let you know as well. But once again, that's bookwithdean.com. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave

you every single episode, make it your mission, make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.