The Mindset Mentor - The Hidden Addiction That Controls Your Life

Episode Date: May 30, 2025

What if the thing you think you need is actually what’s draining you? In this episode, I break down the hidden addictions most people never notice. We’ll explore what you’re unconsciously worshiping, how it's shaping your self-worth, and how to break free. Reveal the hidden patterns shaping your choices, habits, and success. Take my FREE Identity Quiz to discover who you really are and how to break through to the next level.Join here 👉 https://www.identityunlockquiz.com/ My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the mindset mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode. If you're out there and you want to learn about yourself, I created identity quiz to figure out who you are. If you want to go and take it for free, it's absolutely free. You go to identityunlockquiz.com. Once again, identityunlockquiz.com. Today, we're gonna be talking about the hidden addiction that controls your life. And today's episode might just rock the foundation

of how you see yourself in the world around you. We're gonna dive into something that I'm sure many people listening have never thought about before. And that's what I want to do. I want to challenge your thinking. I want you to think outside the box. I want to help you think and see the world differently so that you can see yourself differently, so that you can see the world differently, so that you can act differently, so that you're not stuck in these same patterns day in, day out. And I promise it will shift your clarity,

your power, your purpose, and your peace when you start to realize these unconscious things, you bring them to the surface and you start to work through them. And so what we're gonna talk about today is what you worship. And I don't mean religion or anything like that. I mean what you actually put in the center of your life,

whether you realize it or not. Like you could say, oh yeah, my children are in the center of my life. Cool, maybe, but there's also something that's probably unconsciously behind that as well. And so usually we have something or a couple things that we put into the center of our lives and consciously or not, and we kind of worship these things and everyone

worships something most people just don't know it and so most people hear the word worship and you start to think of going to church or Bibles or temples or gods or goddesses or something of that sort that's not what I'm talking about whatever might pop up when you hear that That's not what I'm talking about. Whatever might pop up when you hear that word is not what I'm talking about. That's only like one tiny slice of the pie. The truth is that worship isn't just about religion. Sure, it can be if you want it to be.

That's not what we're gonna be talking about. What I'm talking about, what you worship, is what you're putting in the center of the universe. What you're putting your focus and attention on the majority of your days. Because what you focus on and what you give your attention to owns you. It creates your perception of reality. And if it creates your perception of reality, it is actually going to change what you become and what you get in your life. More than anything else, like what you become sure, but also what you grant the power to define your worth,

I guess you could say. And so let me repeat that real quick because I kind of stumbled over my words there. Worship is what you allow to define your worth, what you allow to define your worth. There's a quote I love by David Foster Wallace, and he said, there's no such thing as not worshiping. Everybody worships.

The only choice we get is what to worship. And here's the thing to finally realize. You didn't choose, like you don't get to choose whether or not you're gonna worship something. You only get to choose what you're going to worship And so you don't consciously choose Most cases until hopefully after this podcast episode. You're gonna shift and you're going to consciously choose Because if you didn't consciously choose what matters to you and what you decide to worship. Guess what the world

you and what you decide to worship, guess what? The world will choose it for you. And that's already happened to 99% of people listening to this. When I'm talking about the things that we worship, I'm going to tell you I fit in almost every single one of them in my past in some sort of way. So what does the world want you to worship? Go through a few of them real quick. Money, things. You know, you'll never feel like you have enough if you worship money, if you're constantly focused on getting money or that's your end goal. That hunger that you have for it, it won't go away.

It's only gonna get louder. And when you make money, guess what you're gonna need more of? Money. So that's one thing that people worship. Another thing that people worship, their body and looks. And the mirror will become your judge, your

jury, your executioner if that's the case. You need to look better, you'll constantly judge yourself. So that's another thing that people worship. Another thing that I found, intellect, your knowledge. You will always feel like a fraud or like you're not smart enough and you need to learn more and become more worthy because you'll never get to the end of learning because it just goes on forever. Other things that people worship power. You know if you worship power then you'll feel weak at certain moments, you'll feel afraid, unsafe, you need to control everything in your life or other people to soothe your

fear. You'll always feel like you need more power in some sort of way. And so these things are these soul-sucking worship habits. They don't devour you all at once. They just kind of slowly eat away to itch you quietly. So I wanna dive deeper into these and give you some examples of what I see that people tend to worship in their lives,

especially unconsciously. And let's see if maybe from this you can start to go, oh, I'm noticing myself here. So the first one, I said it a minute ago, but money. Why? Because money feels like safety. And for a lot of people who didn't have a safe childhood, they want to create safety in their adulthood.

And a lot of people equate money with safety. Like when I'm speaking this, I'm speaking from 100% experience from me growing up as a child to me being an adult until I finally woke up to this. Because money feels like safety, it feels like freedom, it feels like power all rolled into one. So if you worship safety, if you worship freedom, if you worship power, any of those, it's a good chance you might have money at the center of your universe. Whether you think you do or not, you might unconsciously have it there. You also might consciously have it there as well. Many people do. So we think, you know,

like, and I see this all the time with people that we think like, once I have enough money, I'll finally relax. Then work that way. But you know, what's enough, for instance, because the bar always moves. And you have to understand this, you don't worship the money like the actual physical paper that's in front of you, you worship what you think it will solve in your life. And if you worship it for too long, you won't really understand how to get out of the pattern of the worship. I was reading a Reddit post a couple of weeks ago, and it was in the subreddit rich, where people who are quote unquote rich go in and they talk about different things, what they like, what they don't like, what they

struggle with all of us. And there's this one person I was reading and you're going to be like, Oh my God, boo for this guy. But I'm just going to tell you what he said. He was, he said some of the lines, if you like, he was worth $55 million and he was worried about retiring and he couldn't figure out how to turn it off because what happened was his greatest strength became his greatest weakness. So he made a whole bunch of money,

that was the strength of his, but it's also his weakness, he doesn't know how to turn it off. And so people think that they'll stop when they hit a number. This guy had $55 million in net worth and couldn't figure out how to stop because his worry drove him to be a certain way. So yeah, maybe money's the thing that you worship.

Maybe worrying is the thing that you worship. If you go to money, like one of my favorite quotes that around money is Bob Marley, and he says, money is just numbers, and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end. So you will never really get there if that's the thing that you want. So maybe you

should start figuring out something else that you want to worship outside of that. So that's one thing that I see that's very, very common, especially in our Western world. And so is this next one, number two, which is achievement and success. Once again, I've been in this bucket. Why? Because we're taught that from, from very early age that gold stars and stickers create your worthiness. You know, it's ingrained into us in school. Get a gold star turns into get good grades. Get good grades turns into make sure you graduate with good grades.

Graduate turns into make sure you make six figures. Make six figures turns into buy a nice car, turns into buy a nice house, turns into get more likes on social media, whatever it is. And so you might develop this inward hustle like your life depends on it. I've done that before when I was in my early 20s working 110 hours a week for three years straight in my first business. You might hustle like your life depends on it because part of your identity actually early 20s working 110 hours a week for three years straight at my first business. You might hustle like your life depends on it because part of your identity actually

does depend on it. And part of your self-worth comes from your achievement and success. And maybe that came from childhood or maybe it came from the fact that you felt like your only your only time you ever got love from your father was when you achieve something in sports or in school or whatever it might be. And it's ingrained into you. That's not what you want to worship because you'll never be happy.

You'll never get to the end of achievement. You never get to the end of success. The same way you'll never get to end of money because money's number never end. Money never ends. Right, so that's another thing that I see. Another thing that's very common is body yourself image. The way that you look, the way that your body looks,

the way that your face looks, the way that you dress, the way that your body looks, the way that your face looks, the way that you dress, the way that you present yourself to other people. Why? Because being attractive in our culture, but also in your own mind, might mean validation for yourself. So you don't feel necessarily worthy.

So when you get validation for other people, it makes you feel more worthy. And sure, some people are working out for health, but most people are not working out for health. Might be a piece of it, but the majority of that is approval. So some sort of approval that they want from you, or some sort of attention that they want from you,

or control, or to feel like you're worthy because you feel like you're unworthy. And so, you know, I used to work out when I was younger just because I hated the way that I looked and I was real skinny and lanky and I wanted to get bigger. So it was like, I kind of worshiped that for a little while. And when your reflection in the mirror doesn't match your ideal, it'll wreck your day.

And so that's a form of worshiping in some sort of way. So you go to the gym more or you diet again or you put on more makeup and you say, oh, but I like putting on makeup. There's nothing wrong with putting on makeup. I don't want you to think that, or you diet again or you put on more makeup and you say, oh, but I like putting on makeup. There's nothing wrong with putting on makeup. I don't want you to think that, but you might be putting on makeup because there's a deep seated unworthiness the way that you look without makeup.

Think about that for a second. So because maybe what you look like defines your own self-worth and the world, it's really cruel because everybody ages and that beauty will eventually turn into wrinkles. And if you worship the way that you look in the mirror, you're going to have a really tough time as you start to get older. And then you want to fix and you want to cut and go under the knife and get surgery and get stuff pulled back or stuff removed. I don't know what people do nowadays, stuff shot into your face.

And so all to show that you can't worship something like that. So the universe has created this moment where it's like your beauty that you worship will eventually disappear to show you that there's something else that you should worship. And we will be right back. And now back to the show.

Another thing that people worship is intellect, being smart or being right? I don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to be like, oh my god I can see so many of these buckets that I fit into in the course of my life Why because knowledge gives this false sense of control. It feels like safety. It feels like it makes you Smarter than somebody else it gives you some sort of power maybe. And so maybe you obsess over knowing more or being known as the expert or winning every single argument. You might be worshiping your intellect in some sort of way. But if you do, it might come with this constant imposter syndrome

and this fear of being exposed and not being smart enough. Why? Because you'll never know everything. There's always going to be someone else that's smarter than you. There will. And just as money never ends, knowledge never ends as well. And so you got to start to look at yourself and be like, is that something that I worship? You do, maybe don't. Another thing that people worship as well is romantic love and relationships and what somebody else will give me by being in a relationship with them. Why? Because love promises, like love promises to fill that empty space inside. If you notice a lot of these things I'm talking about worshiping comes back to your own self-worth and oh yeah if I make money it'll fix my self-worth, if I look better

it'll fix my self-worth, if I get into a relationship and somebody finally loves me and I find my other half then it'll fix my lack of self-worth. So you might find a partner, or cling to a partner, or crush, or even an idea of finding the one like your soul depends on it. Like you're lost without this person. So you've made them your source. You've made, not even necessarily the person a lot of times, but just the idea of having that person that loves you.

You've made them a source of your happiness, you've made them your savior, your God in some sort of way. That's way too big of a responsibility for another fallible person to try to live up to. And so maybe that's a part of it where it's like, oh yeah, I'm not good enough, I won't finally be there until I get into a relationship. And then people get into a relationship

and they get married and they're like, that's still, I still haven't found the end of it. So maybe I need kids to fill this self-worth hole that I have. So that's another thing that people really go after. Another thing that people really go after in worship, validation. This is the reason why social media attention is so insane right now and why people really are just addicted to it. Why?

Because dopamine hits from getting likes on social media or seeing other people's stuff, it's easier than working on your self worth. So you worship the likes and you worship the followers and the algorithm gods that are out there. You check your phone, you post something and then you check to see how many likes you got two minutes later

It's sneaky and it feels like really harmless, but your worth and your peace are tied to that screen That's dangerous. That's not what you want to be worshiping. Maybe another thing that you worship is control or certainty Do I because you know life feels really chaotic and it is chaotic It's just the the universe is chaotic. Things are made and stars are made by things slamming into each other and exploding, right? Everything is chaotic. That is one of the biggest truths and it always will be chaotic in the entire universe. And so when you want to control things, it feels like you're protecting in some sort

of way. So you might micromanage your schedule or you might micromanage every person that you work with or the employees that you have, or you need everyone to behave your way in the house. So you've made order your religion in some sort of way, but it'll never be that way. Real life is messy. And you know, if uncertainty comes, it'll wreck you. That's for sure. And so maybe you've also made another thing that I see with a lot of people is busyness or productivity. I've definitely fit into this one before, is something that you worship.

Why? Because being busy means you're important, right? You're doing something important. So you can't sit still, you fill your calendar, you feel guilty for resting. I've done all of this. I'm definitely in this category as well. I have removed myself from it

and been working at it for years, which is what's great. But it's not about time management. It's about worth management. So you're always checking on the clock and trying to do more and you're busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, gotta be productive, right? Because it's like, oh, that shows that I'm important. So some form of self-worth.

Another thing and last thing I'll cover before I keep going deeper into, I just wanna try to hopefully give you ideas is your victim story or your past pain story. You know, why? Because it's familiar and your identity loves familiarity, but you attach this and it gives you some sort of, you know, oh, you replay the trauma, the betrayal, the thing that they did to you.

Cause it makes you feel like, oh they did it to me I'm you know, this story makes me feel important. It gives you some sort of meaning So you worship the wound because you haven't learned how to live without it yet There's a million different things that we worship all of the stuff I covered fame hustle culture perfection status your children your your trauma, celebrity figures, political ideologies, oh my God, that's a big one,

political, oh, I'm this group or I'm that group, your career, science, whatever it might be. So going through all of this, you start to think to yourself, all right, well, that makes sense, but what should I worship? Well, this is for you to figure out. Let's be real. This isn't me saying like hey You need to go find God or you need to find a religion. It's me saying if you don't pick something That is life-giving to you to anchor yourself your soul to what you're trying to create

yourself, your soul to what you're trying to create in the world, the world is going to hand you a bunch of options that slowly eat you alive. You need to figure out what it is that you want to worship because if you're, you've gone, you know, like I went for productivity and for safety and for money and all those things because I thought what it was going to give me. It didn't. And, you know, what you want to find is something that actually nourishes you versus depletes you. It could be, yeah, maybe for some of you, a higher power or spiritual

practice that humbles you and connects you to something bigger. Might be also service to others. It could be tiny acts of of love and and good deeds and unseen, unsexy things that you do. It's, you know, you do things for other people just because it makes you feel good and you get to do it for other people and it makes them feel good.

Maybe you decide to worship a core set of values that you create like compassion or patience or courage or truth. Even the simple awareness that you're not the center of the universe because everybody acts like they're center of the universe. Oh, this person's driving slow in front of me. Oh, are they in your way or are you in their way? And so this is about you figuring out what means the most to you and who you want to be. So many people don't have a North Star

that guides them through their entire life. Like if you don't have a North Star that guides them through their entire life. Like if you don't have a North Star that's like, this is who I am, this is who I want to be, these are my traits, my habits, my qualities, how I want to interact with myself, the world, all of that. If you don't have a North Star of where you're, what you're trying to build, you'll never really know where you're going. I want you to think about this. I want you, I just want to say it is, is real freedom in your life isn't getting everything that you want. Real freedom is self-awareness, is growing yourself, is the power to pay attention to

yourself, to notice when your attention is going to something that you don't want it to be. It's noticing when you get stuck in a feeling or a thought pattern. And the ability to look at that and be like, well, that's not who I wanna be. And I want to live intentionally. I want to get out of this pattern. I wanna not be living on autopilot.

And to become aware of the unconscious patterns that we get stuck in, these things that we unconsciously worship. Like some people unconsciously worship, going and climbing the corporate ladder so they're stuck in the rat race. And then they realize at some point in time, hopefully, that the rat race isn't a job, it's a mindset.

It's an unconscious mindset that somebody worships that's kind of at the expense of your soul. And so what do you worship? What do you want to worship? You know, you need to ask yourself stuff like, what do I constantly think? What do I fear? I'm losing. What do I worry about? What do I chase when I feel like I'm unworthy? How do I see myself spending my time most of the days? Because whatever that thing is that's like your God. That's the thing that's your worship. That's your altar, right?

That's where your soul is bowing Whether you realize it or not and I've been there through almost every one of the categories that I've told you that we went through earlier. For years, I unconsciously worship success or money or validation or safety or social media following. And it worked for a while until it didn't. And I got to a point where I had the income,

I had the freedom, I had the comfort, I had everything that I, every single thing that I ever wanted in my life. And it still felt like something was missing. Every box was checked, still didn't fulfill me. And that's what I realized that I had unconsciously built a throne for a false God that could never give me what I needed. So that's when I started questioning myself and it's kind of like a dark night of the soul moment. I started shifting my focus. Hey, how can I contribute to the world? What would make

me fulfilled? What would make me feel like I'm doing something good in this world? What do I want my life to be built around? I started thinking about contributing and coaching people and helping people wake up, you know, who I want to be, how I want to act, what my purpose is, deciding for myself why I'm alive and to choose that. We all have the ability to choose that. And for me, it woke me up from a lot of stuff and it changed everything.

It changed the way that I see the world and everything that I do, I see from a different perspective now. And so I really want you to think about this, like you're worshiping something, and maybe through this episode you've been like, oh my God, I noticed that I'm worshiping this, this and this.

Maybe you're listening and you're like, I'm not really sure. Okay, well, sit around and think about it. What's the majority of your focus in your day go to? Because we'll become whatever it is that we worship. We'll become like that thing. And so the question isn't like, what do I worship? The question really should be,

what is what I worship worthy of my time, attention and my soul? Because that's really what we become. And so what I want you to think about is where does that focus, where does that time, where does that attention go to? Is it money, is it success, is it worries, is it fears that pop up in your life?

Because those things are owning you. And so what's really best thing to do is to take a step back out of your head and to create that north star of who you wanna be, how you wanna act, what's your characteristics, traits, where your life is going, and have that be the thing that you start to create your life around. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on Instagram stories, tag me in it, robdialjunior, R-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.

The only way this podcast goes is from you guys sharing it. So if you would share it, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission, make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.