The Mindset Mentor - The Importance of Every Conversation

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

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Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast and you've never given us a rating and review, please do me a favor. Give us a rating and review right now. Take out your phone. Take 30 seconds. Give us a rating and review. The reason why I ask is because when we get more ratings and reviews that are positive, people are then able to see it more because iTunes and Apple Podcasts then boost the algorithm and say, hey, there's a lot of people that like this. Maybe we should show this to more people. So if you would do that for me, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Today, we're going to be talking about the importance of every single conversation that

you have. And to actually take you through this journey that we're going to go on together, I'm actually going to tell you two separate stories that have really kind of changed my perspective of life and when I have a conversation with somebody, realizing that me, but also for you as well, that one conversation that we have with someone can completely change their life, whether we realize or not. And that can be for positive, but it can also be for negative. So the first story I'm going to tell you is about six months ago, I was walking inside of a parking lot in Austin. I was leaving the mall and this guy

was walking past me with his girlfriend. And he's like, hey, Rob, love everything that you do. And I didn't really hear him because I had remote started my truck. My truck is kind of loud. And so I was like, what's that? And he came over and started talking to me. It was him and his girlfriend. And he's like, hey, man, I just want to tell you,

I follow you on Instagram and listen to your podcasts, and I love all the stuff that you do. I was like, that's awesome. Thanks so much. And he goes, I don't know if you remember, we actually met before. And I was like, really, where did we meet? And he goes, we met in Florence, Italy a couple years ago.

And I was like, oh, that's pretty awesome. And he started telling me about where we met. We met at a pizza and gelato making tour where we were making pizza, making gelato. And as soon as he said, and I saw him and I saw his girlfriend, I was like, oh, I remember you guys. We had a conversation while we were making gelato, right? And he said,

yeah. And we were talking about, you know, my girlfriend at the time and I, which is now my fiance, we were traveling for a month throughout Italy. And him and his girlfriend were traveling for like 10 days. And he had a job, she had a job. And he said, you know, he was like, yeah, man, it'd be so nice just to travel and do what we want to like you guys, but we have a job and we can't really do that. Well, what happened was he asked me what I do. And I told him I was a coach and I told him how it worked. And I told him how I did at that time, one-on-one coaching and how I made money. And it was like a, probably a 15, 20 minute conversation at most. Like it wasn't that long of a conversation. We had enough of a conversation that when he went home that day, he started researching about becoming a coach online

and what that would look like. And he used to deal with a lot of anxiety when he was younger and went through a lot of self-development to then overcome his anxiety. Crazy enough, we had that conversation two years ago, never saw him again until I saw him inside of this parking lot.

And he told me that he, after leaving Italy and coming back to America, the day he came back, he put his two weeks in at work. And he said, I'm going to figure out how to start a coaching business because I feel like I have a lot of value to give people. And when I saw him inside of the parking lot, he said that he now has 11 employees in his company.

So I just had a very normal conversation talking about what I do for my profession and how we travel and how we love traveling. And we usually travel for, you know, 30, 40, 50% of the year. And he was like, I want that. I'm going to figure out how to do that. And literally he went from that conversation to coming back, quitting his job, starting his business, figuring it out, figuring out marketing, figuring out all that stuff. And now it's not only just his life that has changed, but it's also his fiance works. It's his fiance now, not just his girlfriend. His fiance also works in his company and he now employs 11 people. So 12 people's lives have changed from that conversation. I'm not saying it because I'm not trying to toot my own horn because that's the last thing I'm

trying to do. I'm trying to say it because I was driving home after that and I was like, holy shit, I can't believe how many conversations I have throughout the day and if they have the potential to do something like what happened with this guy. And so it was really eye-opening for me. Another story that I want to tell you that's very similar in a way also happens to be in Florence, Italy. And it was the very first time that I was recognized by somebody in public. And this was back four years ago now, five years ago. And there was a lady that came up to me and we were walking through a leather shop. And she came up to me as we were walking out and it was my fiance and I, and she goes, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

And she was like, do you, she had kind of broken English. She goes, do you know Rob Dial? And I was like, yeah, I do. I am Rob Dial. And she's like, oh, swear to God. She goes, oh, mama mia. And I was like, oh my God, it's like a fucking movie. They actually say this over here.

And she started saying, she's like, oh my God. Oh, mama mia, this is, I can't. And she started getting like kind of flustered. She kept saying mama mia shit like 20 times. And she's like telling me how I was running a webinar one time. She listened to podcasts. I was running a webinar one time and the webinar was like at three o'clock in the morning for her. And she woke up in the morning, three o'clock in the morning, just to be on this hour long live that I was running. And inside of the live, I guess I had said something along the lines of how we need to focus on what we're grateful for. And if we focus on what we're grateful for, it will change our perspective for our life. And she was on her way walking to, she was telling

me a story of how she was walking to her work that she worked at. She was walking across the bridge and she was having this terrible day. She got in a fight with her boyfriend and then a whole bunch of other things were just happening. And she was just having a crap day, which happens sometimes, right? She was having a crappy day and she was walking across the bridge and she goes,

"'You know what? I'm going to try to think the way that Rob told me to think in that live that I was on.'" And so she stopped when she was walking across this bridge that's in Florence called Ponte Vecchio. She was walking across it and she looked and she's like, oh my gosh, what can I be grateful for right now? And she's like, this city, I live in such a beautiful city.

Like people travel from all over the world to literally spend a couple of days in the city that I get to live in and have grown up in my entire life. And she's looking over the bridge and there's people that are on canoes and they're going in in my entire life. And she's looking over the bridge and there's people that are on canoes and they're going on the canoes. And she's like, this is beautiful.

Like the mountains are in the distance. There's the river that I'm above right now. There's people walking around. There's a kayak that's down there as well. And it's so amazing that I get to live in a city like this. And then she was like, what else can I be grateful for? And she started listing all of these things that she could be grateful for.

And she realized that the first half of her walk, she was in a terrible mindset. And then she shifted her mindset to what she should be grateful for. And the rest of her walk, she said was amazing. And she had an amazing day and it clicked in her head of I am in control of how I feel throughout the day. And I say those stories not to, once again,

toot my own horn any sort of way. I say this because I want you to understand the power of every single conversation that you have. And you start to think about that. Think about all of the conversations that you have in your life, all of them that you've had so far today, all of them that you've had yesterday, the day before that, your entire life. And then ask yourself a question. The conversations that I have, are they just neutral conversations or do they hold the energy of transformation for myself and for other people? Do I come into a conversation with some form of leadership of, hey, how can I make this person's day better? How can I help them in some sort of way? If there's something that I can do to

transform this person's day, their mindset, this moment, is there's something that I can do to transform this person's day, their mindset, this moment, is there a way that I can show up differently to help this person transform? Or are we having conversations with people and bringing them down? That's something we need to think about, right? Hey, is there something that's interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals? Maybe it's anxiety or stress or worry with how much is going on in the world right now, well, BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with their own licensed professional therapist. And you can start communicating with them in under 48 hours. It's not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It's professional counseling done securely online. And there's a broad range of expertise available

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you need Indeed. I'll tell you another story that was a huge life-changing conversation for me when I was younger. One of my very first mentors, I used to run his office when I worked for a marketing company. And he's like, hey man, like we were the number one office out of 740 offices, right? We were number one in the entire United States. And he goes, hey man, let's, he calls me up. He says, hey, let's go get lunch. Meet me at Chipotle. We meet at Chipotle. We sit down and he goes, all right. And he was very brash, like just set it straight to the point exactly how it was. He goes, I don't know how else to say this to you.

People don't like you. And I was like, oh shit, okay. I wasn't expecting to have this conversation. And I was very taken back by it. Cause I was like, what do you mean people don't like you? He's like, listen, man, I know your heart and I know who you are as a person. And I see that come out

because I spend so much time with you and I've seen you for so long. But a lot of people don't see that. A lot of people see this character that you have built yourself into that is not your true self. There's a character of this person that you play that is, I don't give a damn

and you're making fun of and you're cracking jokes and all of this person that you play that is, I don't give a damn, and you're making fun of, and you're cracking jokes and all of this stuff. But what the problem is, is you're throwing little tiny, and what he called them was negs, N-E-G-S, short for negative, right? Throwing little negs at people, where it's like little teeny tiny negative comments,

you know, short for negative comments. You're throwing these at them, and it might not be one that hurts. It might not be two. But if they have a conversation and another conversation, another one, another one, another one. And even if you're saying it just kidding around, they eventually add up.

And then people start to go, yeah, I don't really like this guy because every single time that I'm around him, he makes me feel worse about myself. And that was a life-changing conversation for me to have that conversation because then I started actually thinking back over all of the stuff that I said and realizing that even though I was kidding, really what I was doing was I was trying to overcome from a lack of self-worth.

I was trying to get my self-worth from, in little tiny ways, bringing people down to make myself feel better then. And so I want you to think about this for a second and ask yourself, in the conversations that you have, do they hold the energy of transformation or do they have little tiny negative comments in them to bring somebody down just a tiny bit? Even if it's just a joke. Like when I used to think, oh, we're just kidding. We're just messing around. We're having fun. We're kidding. We're messing around. We're having fun. And I started to realize, hey, people are just kidding. We're just messing around. We're having fun. We're kidding. We're messing around. We're having fun. And I started to realize, hey, this is, people are not viewing it this way.

People actually think that I'm cutting them down. And do I want to be known as the person forever that cuts people down? No, that's not what I want to be. And so I started to notice the way I was talking to people. And I didn't get out of the habit very quickly, but it was something I started working on. I would say stuff and be like, oh shit,

I shouldn't have said that. And I still do that now. Oh God, I don't know if that was taken correctly. I didn't mean it to way that it now sounds in my head as I'm starting to think about it from their perspective. The thing that I think that we should all think about, and the reason why I'm bringing this up as far as how every conversation can change someone else's life, is that we should be very aware of the energy that we bring into every conversation. Because we should try our best to lift people that we bring into every conversation because we should try our best to lift people up. Because there's one thing that I know is that the world is hard

enough as it is right now. The world's not easy. There's some fun things. There's some beautiful things. There's some really challenging things. And there's a lot of people who put on a really good face as if everything's okay and as if everything's amazing, but in reality, they're really struggling. And the last thing that I want to do is to accidentally say something to somebody that is not doing their greatest, that is not doing the best, and I bring them even lower. Then even if someone's doing great,

last thing I want to do is bring somebody down. I want to build people up in everything that I do. And so I want to think to you about how powerful every single conversation has the opportunity to be when you go into it with the intention of I'm going to hold the energy of transformation. And this is for people who, you know, even if you have kids, think about the conversations that you have with your children, the way that you talk to them and the things that you say and the jokes that you might make to your children, but maybe they're young and they don't understand that it's a joke and they take it seriously and they take it to heart. I remember

one time when I was a kid, I'll kind of give you an idea. I'm in the process of getting my pilot's license because I've always wanted to be a pilot since I was a kid. And I remember when I was younger, I was a tall kid and this is probably, I was I was probably 12, 13 years old, probably about 12 years old. And I was a tall kid growing up. And I remember when I went to the doctor, the doctor was like, yeah, it looks like you're probably going to be over six feet. You're probably going to be about six feet, six foot one, six foot two. And I remember I wanted to be a fighter pilot. I thought it was like the coolest thing. I want to be an astronaut. I want to be a fighter pilot. And I was really big on like becoming a fighter pilot and flying jets. And I don't even remember

who the hell this was, but I remember having a conversation with an adult one time. And the adult said to me, well, you know that if you're over six feet, you can't fly planes, right? For the army or the Navy or the Air Force, you can't fly planes for them because you don't fit inside of the cockpit. And I remember going, oh man, like, well, if that's the case, what's the point of me learning this? What's the point of me dedicating my life to learning this if I'm going to eventually, I can't change how tall I am. And the doctor says, because we all think as a kid that doctors know everything. And a lot of adults think that doctors know everything, but that's not always the case, especially if they don't know how tall I'm going to be. And I end up being pretty close to right

because I am over six feet. But the thing that happened though is I've talked to so many pilots now that are just as tall as me or taller than me that fly jets, that fly planes. And what happened was that one conversation with a person that I don't even remember who they are, but I just remember that they were an adult and they were older than me. So if they're an adult and they're older, they probably know better than I do. And I don't hold a grudge to that person any sort of way because I love my life as it is and it happened exactly as it's supposed to.

But how different could my life be right now if that person never said that to me? How many people's dreams have been crushed by an adult that says something just kidding, in jest, that's just side conversation. They say something to a child and a child that might not be as intellectually smart as an adult and know that it's a joke or might completely miss it, then take that to heart and go, oh, yeah, maybe I shouldn't do that thing. And so for those of you guys that have children

or you're ever around children, also be very aware of the way that you speak to them. And do you have the energy of transformation or building that child up? Because you guys remember back to when you were kids, like middle school, high school, those things can be real, real hard for people, right? So the worst thing we could do is bring somebody down that's already down because children can be vicious.

That's for sure. We should always have the energy of transformation for everyone that we're in a conversation with. And think about how we can build people up as much as we possibly can. Because you never have any idea how much something that you say to somebody can change your life for the positive or for the negative. And so the one thing I want you to be aware of is the stuff that you say to other people, because it's important knowing how the world is, knowing how people think, knowing how tough it is, especially right now with all of the stuff

that people are going through in the positive face that people can put on, how important it is for us to just think about us showing up for other people as much as we possibly can. And we might be like, well, yeah, but what about ourselves? When you show up with the energy of transformation, what's beautiful about it in transformation or positivity or building people up is people will usually meet you at the energy that you're at. So you can either meet them at the energy that they're at,

which could be low, it could be indifferent, it could be just whatever. Or you can say, you know what? I'm going to bring people up in every single situation that I'm in, every single conversation that I'm in. I'm going to hold myself to the highest standard to talking to people the way that I want to be talked to, to treating the people the way that I want to be treated. And I'm going to have every single conversation that I have

hold the level of transformation so that I can hopefully impact as many people as I want to. Because had I never had that conversation with that guy that was inside the garage, I would have never known that that happened. Had I never walked into that leather shop, I would have never known that that happened as well. And it makes me think about

how many other conversations have I had that have steered people's lives in some sort of way. Because all of our conversations can steer people in other directions, just little teeny tiny conversations. And so this really woke me up to the opportunity that we all have to help people or the opportunity that we have where we actually bring people down

if we're not being very diligent to make sure we're holding that energy. But can you go into every single conversation with the energy of I'm going to go in with the energy of transformation, positivity, and trying to help this person as much as I possibly can. I will not dip into negativity. I will not dip into a place that I don't want to go to.

I want to hold that energy and see if that person can meet me there. Because every conversation that you have has the opportunity for transformation. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor, share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And if you want to receive an email from me every single Monday with my intentions going into every single week, every Monday I send out an email. You can go to mondayemail.com right now. It's

absolutely free. I will email you my intentions going into every single week, what I'm focused on, what I'm thinking about. So therefore, if you want to take my intention and put it into your week and start to see if that can help you focus and go into a different direction or into the direction that you want to go, you can absolutely take my intentions. Once again, free at mondayemail.com. Go ahead and sign up there and I'll send you emails every single morning. I'm sorry, every single Monday morning. But with that, I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.