The Mindset Mentor - The Key to Self Love is Self Discipline

Episode Date: July 3, 2020

Want to know the key to self love? It's through discipline. I understand that doesn't make much sense but it will after you listen to this episode. If you want to learn to love yourself more, this is for you!Follow me on Instagram for more inspiration: @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode. And if you love this podcast, please give us a rating and review on iTunes or Spotify or Stitcher, however you listen to us, so that more people will be able to hear this message. Because the more reviews that we get that are positive, the more that each platform will share it with their followers. So today we're going to be talking about what is self-discipline. I think that self-discipline is thought of as kind of a bad thing for a lot of people. Like everybody wants discipline, but they see discipline as a bad thing. And so we're going to dive into the subject of self-discipline, how to be more disciplined, and I'm going to talk

about more of what it is as well. So at its simplest form, there's two things that I really see self-discipline being. Number one is doing what you say you will do. That's the first thing that I say is self-discipline. And the second thing is doing what you need to do even when you don't want to do it, right? So self-discipline is going out and doing what you say you're going to do, number one, and then going out and doing what needs to be done even when you don't want to do it, especially when you don't want to do it. And I want to cover the word discipline first, because when we think of the word discipline, like if you discipline your dog, that means your dog has done something bad, right? If you discipline your child, that means your child has done something bad. So I want to pull the word discipline out and change your perception of it, because

ultimately I think that we all have a bad connotation of discipline. And if our brain subconsciously has a bad connotation towards something, we are going to try to avoid it. And what I'm going to talk about today is ultimately how self-discipline is actually the key to self-love. And that's what I'm going to tell you about today and what we're going to dive into because most people when they think of self-discipline think, oh my God, I don't want to be, I want to be disciplined, but I don't think I can be disciplined. That's don't think I can be disciplined. That's too hard for me to be disciplined.

And that's what I'm going to talk about today is how the key to loving yourself deeper is to actually be unlocked through self-discipline. Because ultimately, the core of that, if you really dive into it, you never need to be disciplined to do something that's bad for you, right? You need discipline to do something that's good for you. Like you don't need discipline to eat a pizza. You don't need discipline to sleep in. You don't need discipline to sit on the couch and do nothing, right? You need discipline to do the things that are good for you. And if you're doing the things that are good for you, ultimately that you're doing the things that are good for you, ultimately that is a way to cultivate self-love.

So for instance, self-love is not eating that pizza when you know you shouldn't. Self-love is to have the self-discipline to eat something that's healthier because ultimately it's better for your body. discipline to eat something that's healthier because ultimately it's better for your body. Self-discipline is not hitting the snooze button in waking up because you know that if you wake up when you wanted to, you're going to be able to start your day off right. And if you start your day off right, it'll end up becoming a better day. It's the self-discipline to do that. It's the self-love knowing that when you do that, you will ultimately better. Self-love and self-discipline is not taking it easy after a hard day of work, but to go to the gym because you made a contract with yourself

that you will go to the gym after work. It's about doing what you say you're going to do and not going, you know what? I had a long day, you know, I'm going to take the day off, right? It's the discipline to do, as I said in the beginning, what you don't want to do, especially in the times when you're like, I really don't want to do it. It's to be able to push past what you actually think that you can do. And that's the important thing. You know, it's to do what you say you're you can do. And that's the important thing. It's to do what you say you're going to do, especially when you have a contract with yourself. Not just to do what you say you're going to do when other people are involved. But like the last example that I just gave you, if you said, I'm going to go to the gym today at six o'clock after work, and you have a

long day at work, and you don't go to the gym, that has nothing to do with anybody else. That's you lying to yourself. That is you breaking a contract with yourself. And when you break a contract with yourself, that's not coming from a loving state, right? There's no self-love in breaking that contract with yourself and going, you know what? You had a long day at work. Go ahead and pick up some pizza and ice cream. Go watch some Netflix. No, self-discipline is needed to do the things that are good for you, to wake up early, to meditate, to work out, to eat healthy, to do all of those things that cultivate a foundation for you to build a better version of you. Self-discipline is not breaking promises to yourself because ultimately it's very easy for people to stay accountable when someone else is relying on them.

It's very easy to go, you know what? These people are depending on me. I'm going to put in the work. But then to let ourselves slip when it's something that just requires us. For some reason, it's very easy for people to do things for other people, but it tends to be very hard for them to do something for themselves. And if you truly love yourself, you will develop the self-discipline to get done whatever it is that you need to get done to create the life that you want. And so self-discipline to get done whatever it is that you need to get done to create the life that you want and so self-discipline more than anything else is not breaking the promises that you have made to yourself because ultimately

that's what matters more than anything else and it doesn't have to be just taking action to like I said you know eating healthy or going to the gym or any of that stuff it could could be literally meditating, doing absolutely nothing, but sitting there and focusing on your breath with your eyes closed and allowing your body just to come down from its, you know, heightened state because you want your body to relax, because you want your mind to relax. And because you know, ultimately, if you meditate, you know, every single morning for those 10 or 15, 20 minutes, that you're going to go into your day a better version of yourself, a calmer, more gentler, more loving version of yourself. And when you are a better version of yourself, you are presenting that better version of yourself to

everyone that surrounds you. So not only do you benefit from the meditation, but everybody else benefits. See, the thing that's interesting about self-discipline is you benefit a lot from it, but everybody else around you benefits as well. There is no loser in self-discipline. The only time when there's a loser is when you let yourself off the hook when you shouldn't. You need to stop breaking promises to yourself because ultimately you matter more than anybody else in your life. Now, I understand how this works because I've done this many times. I've coached thousands of people. Most people at this point, like mothers or fathers, say, well, I'm not the most important person in my life. My children or my spouse or

whatever it is, is the most important person in my life. I can't say that I am right. There's no way that would be selfish. That would be narcissistic. I can't say that I am the most important person in my life. Yes, you can and you should. And if you don't, you're completely down the wrong path. I'm not saying ignore your children. What I'm saying is have the self-discipline and the self-love to work on yourself. Because we know if you say your children are the most important people in your life, if you are the best version of yourself, are you going to show up as a better parent for them? You are. So if you really truly love them, shouldn't you really truly be loving and working on yourself even more? Because then you're going

to show up better for them. If you really truly love your spouse, shouldn't you work on yourself even more so that you can show up as the best version of yourself? Because here's the thing, the better that you show up, the better that they will be and they will grow and become better from you being better. Hey everybody, real quick, let me tell you about one of my favorite apps on my phone. You've heard me talk about it before. It's called Blinkist and it's unique and powerful because it works on your phone, your tablet, or your web browser. And Blinkist gives you the best key takeaways and the need to know information from over 3,000 nonfiction bestsellers in over 27 categories. And it condenses them down into things they call blinks, which you can read or

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Because here's the way it's, it seems like a catch 22 for most people. When you work harder on yourself, you show up better for everybody else that's around you. So self-discipline is not breaking those promises to yourself. So what is self-discipline? Self-love is self-discipline. The not breaking promises to yourself are self-discipline. Doing what you say you're going to do is self-discipline. I'm not saying be hardcore on yourself all day, every single day, because that's not sustainable. You know, if you want to go out and have a pizza every once in a while, I'm not saying don't ever have a pizza. What I'm saying is we know where the limit is. We know when there's a line that we're crossing that we shouldn't be. Well, it's

like, well, this is my third pizza of the week. Well, that's probably a problem. Oh, this is my 10th beer of the night. Oh, that's probably a problem. Oh, this is my 10th beer of the night. Oh, that's probably a problem. This is my 37th day sleeping in. Oh, that's probably a problem, right? I'm not saying be so hardcore on yourself. What I'm saying is know where the limit is and don't allow yourself to keep passing that limit. Don't allow yourself to keep passing that line, right? You have to have the discipline to hold yourself accountable when you need to, because if you truly, truly love yourself, you will have the, if you love yourself and come from a place of love, you will have the discipline that you need to, to make yourself better. What we all want to do is to become the best version of ourselves, but we can't become that best version of ourselves unless there's some,

unless there's some self-discipline there. That's what we have to realize. Ultimate fulfillment is not success in cars and clothes and money and houses, these massive mansions and Ferraris in the driveway. That's not ultimate success and fulfillment. Ultimate fulfillment is you becoming the highest version of yourself in this lifetime. The most actualized version of yourself in this lifetime. That is ultimate fulfillment. And anything that holds you back from that is in the way.

Because the better that you are, the most perfect actualized version of yourself is going to go out and serve the world much higher than the version of you that's not the highest version of yourself is going to go out and serve the world much higher than the version of you that's not the highest version of yourself. So you have to think about that. If you truly want to change the world, you've got to focus on yourself because then when you focus on yourself, you go out and present that version of yourself and you're much better. When we are better, of yourself and you're much better. When we are better, we serve the world at a higher level. We serve our family at a higher level. We serve every being that we come in contact with at a higher level. When we think about ourselves and we truly, this is the interesting thing is a lot of people think, well, I don't have the self-love and the self-discipline that I truly

want because when I look in the mirror, I don't love my body. And so people want to have a better body, but they don't develop the discipline to get that better body. They think, well, if I had that better body, let me rewind. If I had that better body that I truly want, I feel like I love myself more. But here's the thing. The key to getting that better body is to love yourself more now. Because here's the thing. If you love somebody, you'll do anything that you can to help them out, don't you? If they need you, you'll do anything that you can to help somebody out that you truly, truly love, right? The question is, do you truly, truly love yourself?

If you don't, that's the reason why you're not taking the action that you need to. You don't have self-discipline to do what you need to do because you don't have the self-love that you truly need to have. Let me give you an example. If I have my body and I want to be the best version of it, I'm going to need to eat healthy. I'm going to need to work out. I'm going to need to do things I need to do to take care of my body. Why? Why do I work out so hard and eat so healthy? Because I truly love my body. So no matter what your body looks like right now, you can't think that you'll love yourself more when you get to losing 50 pounds. You can't think, oh my God, when I finally get to this weight or look like this or fit in that bikini, I will finally love myself. No, you have to start from a place of self-love.

And the more that you love your body and love yourself, the more that you will truly want to take care of it. And you say, if I love my body, do I want to put this food into it? Whatever this food is, this pizza or this, you know, my third pizza of the week or this seventh beer that I'm drinking. If I truly love myself and I love, truly love my body, do I want to do that? No, I don't. I want to put into it the best things I possibly can. Would you go ahead and just allow your child to eat seven pizzas every single, you know, week, every single night eat a pizza? No, because it's not good for them. Why would you allow yourself to essentially do the same types of things? So self-love is not a destination.

Self-love is a starting point. And when you truly love yourself, self-discipline ends up building itself in there. Because you go, you know what? I do love myself. I'm going to go ahead and work out so that I can take care of myself. I'm going to eat healthier so I can take care of myself. I'm going to drink more water so I can take care of myself. I'm going to read so I can take care of myself. I'm going to meditate so I can take care of myself. I'm going to eat healthier so I can take care of myself. I'm going to drink more water so I can take care of myself. I'm going to read so I can take care of myself. I'm going to meditate so I can take care of myself. I'm going to stop sleeping in. I'm going to create a morning routine

so I can take care of myself because I truly love myself. And when you start from a place of self love, self discipline is much easier to get. And that's the thing that most people don't think about. Self love creates self self-discipline. Love yourself first, then you will have the discipline to take care of yourself. So what is self-love? I'm sorry, what is self-discipline? Self-love is self-discipline.

Keeping the contracts and the promises that you want to with yourself and you said you were going to do, keeping those promises is self-discipline. Doing what do. Keeping those promises is self-discipline. Doing what you say you will do is self-discipline. And doing what you need to do, especially when you don't want to do it, is also self-discipline.

So that's what I got for you for today. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love. Please share it on your Instagram and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. That is how we continue to grow is through grassroots of you guys. We don't have any advertisers out there showing our stuff or anyone else. We're competing against massive companies like NPR and all the other companies that are out there, and we're 100% grassroots growing because you guys share the message. So I'm going to leave

the same way I leave you every single episode. Go out there and be the change that you want to see in the world and make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.