The Mindset Mentor - The Power of Words

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dylann. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, please do me a massive, massive, massive times a million massive is a favor and give us a rating and review. However, listen to us. If you listen to us on Spotify or Apple podcast, please give us a rating review, pop out your phone. It takes like 30 seconds. The more positive reviews that we get, the more that they organically show this to people who don't listen to us and the way this podcast grows. So if you want to pay it forward, that's how you could do it for me. And I would appreciate it

Starting point is 00:00:42 from the bottom of my heart. Today, we're going to be talking about the power of words, okay? Because words can have so much power, but words can also have no power. And sometimes we put too much power into words and what people say to us and what they think of us and what happens around us as well. I do want you to understand this. Someone can come up to you and call you a name and it can trigger you. It can completely set you off. It could ruin your day. They could say something specifically. They could call you a name that you've been called your entire life, and it could set you off and completely trigger you.

Starting point is 00:01:25 But they can also call you a name and have no effect on you, which shows you that it's actually not the word itself. What is it? It's what we think of the word. You know, I get messages all of the time on Instagram, and I look at every single message I get on Instagram. I don't have time to respond to all of them, but I read every single one of them. So I know what's going on in every one of your lives so that therefore I can help create more podcast episodes. And one of the ones that came in today that comes in quite often

Starting point is 00:01:54 is how can I not let others ruin my mindset? And I get questions like this one all the time. How can I make sure that other people don't piss me off? How can I stop being triggered to other people? And the question itself is flawed. How can I not let others ruin my mindset? The other person does not ruin your mindset. You ruined your mindset. If a person came up to you and said these words, whatever those words are, and it triggers you and it sets you off. But then the same exact person, if they were to come up to you and say those words in a language

Starting point is 00:02:33 that you do not understand, you would have no reaction. But they're the exact same words, just in a different language. So it shows you that it's not the words at all. It's what you think of the words. We are in control. The very first thing I said is that words can have so much power or words can have no power, but we are fully 100% in control of the power that those words have over us. So if we know when we get triggered and we know what normally triggers us, that shows us where we need to work on ourselves. And this is so, so important because words, this is important. If you have a pen and paper, you want to write this down. This is super important. Words only hurt to the degree in which you already believe them. Words only hurt to the degree in which you

Starting point is 00:03:27 already believe them. If you've been listening to this podcast for a long time, you know this example because I've given it so many times, but it's the perfect example. And it really woke me up a few years ago, probably about six years ago when I heard my friend tell it. One of my friends was in his twenties and he was running a multimillion dollar business. He was making tons and tons of money. He was super successful in the eyes of everybody else. He was in his 20s, and he was going on a walk with his mentor who was in his 40s. And he was like, man, you're killing it. Things are going so well. You must be so happy. You must be so excited. How does it feel? And my friend said, to be honest with you, man, it's stressful. He's like, every single time I get a customer service email saying that my

Starting point is 00:04:02 product sucks or saying that they want a refund, he's like, I just want to shut it all down. He's like, it makes me feel like I'm not running a good business. And he goes, yeah, that makes sense because you're insecure. My friend's like, what do you mean I'm insecure? He goes, you're insecure. He goes, if a lady were to, they're walking down the street, he says, if a lady were to walk up to you right now and say, hey, mister, you have ugly pink hair. What would you say to her? He's like, I don't know if I'd say anything. I wouldn't. He goes, would it affect you? He goes, no, it wouldn't affect you. He goes, why not? He goes, because I don't have pink hair. He goes, exactly. Because if she were to say something to you that you don't already believe, it doesn't affect you. But if they say something

Starting point is 00:04:42 to you that you believe about yourself already, that is when you become triggered. And so when someone says something to you, that is a trigger that you are holding onto before it was said. Like if somebody comes up to me and somebody calls me fat, I would probably laugh because I don't view myself as fat. But if somebody gets highly offended by it, it's because they're saying words that they already believe in themselves. And this doesn't have to be somebody, you know, you could go up to someone who is not overweight and call them fat. And they can still feel offended by that

Starting point is 00:05:17 because they in some sort of way feel fat or overweight or they don't like their body shape or they don't like something about themselves. There's many people that are not overweight. And if you were to say that to them, they would be highly offended. Well, it shows them in some sort of way that they are holding a belief that they don't want to about their body. And really, this is the definition of being triggered. And the best thing that I can tell you, and I really want you to get from this episode, best thing that I can tell you, and I really want you to get from this episode, is that being triggered is a gift. If somebody triggers you, they don't deserve to be slapped. They deserve a high five or a hug. Because that person is showing you where you are not free. That person

Starting point is 00:06:01 is showing you where you are stuck. That person is showing you where you are not free in your life. That person deserves an award. You might want to slap the shit out of them, but really, they deserve a high five or a hug because that person is a teacher for you. That person is presenting you with what it is that you need to work on. Now, I understand this is not the easiest thing to swallow, but when you can fully understand that when you are triggered, it is showing you a place that you're not free in your life, you realize that you want to work through it because you want to be free. That person that is triggering you is basically the universe or God coming up to you and showing you a place where you are stuck in your own head. They are showing you a place where you have given up your

Starting point is 00:06:53 own sovereignty because words are just words. And we are 100% in control of what we think about those words. You know, Eleanor Roosevelt is one of my favorite quotes that she ever says. One of my favorite quotes ever. When you sit down and you actually think about it, you start to see the benefit of understanding what Eleanor Roosevelt says. And what she says is that when someone comes up to you and says something to you, and it triggers you in some sort of way. If you do not react to them, you're not being triggered. But if you do react to them, you are being triggered. And in the quote, and what she says is no one can make you feel inferior without your consent,

Starting point is 00:07:36 which means that no one can make you feel bad without you consenting to feel that way. You have given yourself permission to feel bad about that. Another quote that's very similar to this is from Viktor Frankl. Viktor Frankl was a psychologist who was a Jewish psychologist who went through World War II. He was in Auschwitz. He was in a couple other prison camps. He's got an amazing book called Man's Search for Meaning. And one of the things that he says is between stimulus and response, which means somebody says something to you and you respond, between stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space is our power to choose our response. And in our response lies our growth and our freedom. Look at those words, freedom. But one thing that he says, let me go through

Starting point is 00:08:22 one more time. Between stimulus and response, there's a space. And it could be like a tenth of a second, but there's a space. And in that space is our power to choose. It is a choice. Choose our response. And in our response lies our growth and our freedom. What are both of those quotes showing you? That you are the gatekeeper to your freedom. And if you let someone's words bust through that gate, you are no longer in control of the way that you feel. You have given your control of the way that you feel to somebody else. You're supposed to be the one that's in control. You cannot give your control to somebody else based off of what they say or what it is that they do. Hey, today's program is brought to you by Athletic Greens, the health and wellness company

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Starting point is 00:10:24 transforming healthcare in real time, physicians, scientists, technologists, and above all, innovators. The show's dispatches from the future include insight into tomorrow's precision oncology treatments, news on the latest in guided genetic health, reports on the evolution of value-based care, and breaking news research that has redefined functional medicine. You'll hear from people who are creating tomorrow's clinical insights today. It's been said that the future is already here. It just hasn't been democratized yet. Healthy Conversations from CVS Health does just that. It's available for free wherever you get your podcasts and new episodes appear every other week. Subscribe, listen, and learn today. You know, another thing that Viktor Frankl says, another one of his, actually his most famous quote, is that everything can be taken from a man but one thing. Now, this is a guy that was in Auschwitz. Everything was taken from these people when they were in the Nazi prison camps. But he says, everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of all human freedoms, to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. Let me say it again.

Starting point is 00:11:27 Everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of all human freedoms, to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances to choose one's own way. And so we can sit there and you can listen to me and be like, yeah, sounds great, Rob, but it's not that easy. And I get it. It's not that easy. Or you could be like, yeah, this is a bunch of BS. Sure. Okay. If you want to take that route, you definitely can as well. Once again, it's fully up to you. But you have to realize at some point in time, the way that we react to something, whether it's sadness, whether it's anger, whether it's frustration, whether it's being pissed off, whatever it might be, is our choice.

Starting point is 00:12:06 And so once you really start to master yourself the way that Buddhist monks want to master themselves, the way that Christian mystics want to master themselves, the way that, you know, Hindus want to master themselves, every single religion wants to master themselves in some sort of way. Mastery of self means that nobody externally outside of you can affect the way that you feel internally. Nothing external can affect your internal. But once again, words can only hurt to the degree that we already believe them. So we need to release our attachment to those triggers. The triggers are a gift because it's showing you where you're not free. And I can tell you this, from working with people over years and years and years, thousands, tens and tens

Starting point is 00:12:50 of thousands of people, every human, what we really truly want at our core is not to be rich and not to be, honestly, even happy. What we want is to be free. Humans want to be free more than anything else. Want an example of that? Try to tell a two-year-old that they can't do something. What happens? It's a shitstorm, right? Two-year-olds are the perfect example of a human before they go and they actually start to get, you know, we bring them into society and tell them what they can and can't do. Try to tell a two-year-old what they can and can't do. They want freedom. They want freedom to do what they want as well. All they want is to be free to do what they want to do. People think that they want money. People think that they want success. They want all of those things. But the

Starting point is 00:13:33 reason why people want money is because they want the freedom that they think comes with the money. They want the freedom to be able to take the trip with their friends and not have to worry about paying rent next month. They want the freedom to say, hey, I want to be able to take the trip with their friends and not have to worry about paying rent next month. They want the freedom to say, hey, I want to be able to gift my mom this and not have to worry about possibly paying the bills. People want freedom. Freedom is really what we want. The freedom to do what we want, when we want, with who we want. But more than anything else, besides the freedom in our physical world, we do want freedom in our physical world. What we actually truly want more than anything else is freedom in our minds. That's why you're here, isn't it? That's why you're listening to this, because there's a part

Starting point is 00:14:14 of you that wants freedom in your mind, that wants freedom in everything that you do. Sure, you might be listening to me because you're like, hey, maybe this guy will give me some tips so I can grow my business and become a multimillionaire. Maybe you're sitting out there because you're like, hey, I want some tips on how to make my relationship better. I want my, you know, tips on how I can be better. But really what we're searching for in all of those things is freedom. And when we are triggered, we are not free. And so I want you to understand, words can have so much power or they can have absolutely no power. But you are the person that has control of the level of power that those words have over you. And so when you notice somebody coming up to you and triggering you or saying something,

Starting point is 00:14:53 maybe saying a word that you've heard is a bad word. Maybe it's, I'll use a great example. Okay. Cussing is a great example. I love to cuss. And people email me all of the time and say, Rob, I love the stuff that you put out, but I really hate that you cuss. Can you stop? And my answer is, nope, not going to do it because I am not going to dim my light. I am not going to not

Starting point is 00:15:15 be who I truly am simply because a word offends you. Now that offended word is not a word that they were born. Like, it's not like a child is just, a two-year-old is, you know, someone says shit and the two-year-old's like, oh my God, that word shit offends me. No, that is something that is programmed into a human to be offended by a word, whatever that word is. We're just using cuss words in this example to say shit. And for someone to be offended, that is their choice. And that is something they were programmed by probably their parents, right? And I've told you this before, but the way that I really dove into this, there was one time that my mom, her sisters, all, you know, her three sisters, so all four of them were inside

Starting point is 00:15:55 of Austin. We were driving around, we were going around and doing stuff. And I said something, and one of my aunts, she goes, hey, do you think you couldn't cuss? And I was like, well, this is about to be a good conversation. I go, okay, why do you think I shouldn't cuss? And she goes, well, there's just better choice of words that you could use. And I said, okay, what do you mean by better choice of words? And it basically turned into a full-on coaching session after this. But what happened is we went deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper. And what we found was that my grandmother, Dorothy, she used to tell her children that unintelligent people cussed. And so all of her children were raised thinking that using cuss words meant that she were stupid, meant that she

Starting point is 00:16:38 were dumb, right? And this is, you know, they went to Catholic school, you know, a long time ago. And so I understand the programmings that were all happening at that time. But really what it came down to is that these women were all in their late 60s and 70s. And their power was being given away to me simply because I was throwing words out there that they were told were offensive. That is them giving their power away by something that was taught to them when they were a child And really what it comes down to is I said you have to realize I say these words because I think that it gives so much flavor

Starting point is 00:17:12 And so much emphasis to what i'm saying and it is my true personality. I love saying them Some people hate saying them cool. That's them and if somebody doesn't like listening to someone say cuss words I'm not their cup of tea and I'm completely okay with that. But I'm not going to not be who I truly am simply because some people might be offended because they were taught to be offended when they were a child. Makes sense? So what I said to her is I go, listen, there's no difference between me saying shit and me saying blah, blah, blah. Both of them are just sounds coming out of my face. The difference is you have been taught that one of them is bad and one of them is good. And until you release yourself from one of them being bad and one of them being good,

Starting point is 00:17:49 you will completely be triggered and you will be giving up your sovereignty as a being. Because no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, which also means no one can make you feel offended without your consent. No one can make you feel anything without your consent. You are the one that's the gatekeeper of the way that you feel, and you're the one that's the gatekeeper of your freedom. So what I want you to ask yourself now is this, when do I get triggered? What words trigger me? What things that happen in my life trigger me? And when they do, take out a pen and paper and say, you know, this person said this word.

Starting point is 00:18:20 This person said this phrase, and I got really triggered. Okay, why did I get so triggered here? Where did I learn to be triggered on this? And does it really matter? Or is this getting in the way of my freedom? And if it's getting in the way of my freedom, how can I release this thing so therefore I can move on with my life and fully be in control of it? Because ultimately, what I said at the very beginning, words can have so much power, what I said at the very beginning. Words can have so much power, but words can also have no power. And if you want to be free, you've got to make the decision what words you want to have power over you and what you don't want to have power over you because you need to step up into being

Starting point is 00:18:56 the sovereign being and to not be triggered is to be free. And that is what we are all searching for. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor, share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And if you're out there and you want to receive motivational text messages

Starting point is 00:19:14 from me directly to your cell phone and you live in the United States or Canada, text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. And with that, I'm gonna leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you.

Starting point is 00:19:31 I love you all. And I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - The Power of Words

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