The Mindset Mentor - The Power Of Your Words

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you love this podcast, please do me a massive favor right now. Take your phone out of your pocket and go ahead and look at it and give us a rating and review on whatever platform you're listening to this on. Reason why is not for shits and giggles. Reason why is because the more positive rating reviews that we get, the more that those platforms show this podcast to people who have never listened to it before. So if I've ever given you any value with anything I've ever said, give us a rating review, however you listen to us right now. That way more people can find us organically. Today, we're going to be talking about the power

Starting point is 00:00:48 of words. We're going to be talking about the power of the words that you use. We're also going to be talking about the power of the words that people use around you. Because words themselves can have so much power, but words can also have no power. None. And it's kind of crazy when you start to think of it because you realize that words only have power when you give them power. So when you say something to somebody, it could mean nothing to them or it could mean everything to them.

Starting point is 00:01:18 Someone can come up to you right now and call you a name and has absolutely no effect on you. None. Not even a little bit. Someone can come up and say something to you and you can just be like, that's kind of weird. I wonder why they said that. Well, okay. And you go on about your day and you never think about it again. But someone could also come up to you and say something and it could trigger you completely. It could set you off. It could ruin your whole day. Shit, it could ruin your whole week. You could think about it seven days from now. Why did that person say that thing to me? Interesting. Have you ever thought about why that is? How some words can have no power over

Starting point is 00:01:55 you. They mean nothing. And then some words can have massive amounts of power over you and it can completely ruin your day. You can think about it a week later. You could be pissed off in four or five days. I get messages all the time. It's always something like this. Hey, Rob, how can I not let other people affect my mindset? My mom says this, this, this. How can I not let her affect my mindset? My girlfriend's this way. How can I not let her affect my mindset? Hey, my father acts like this. How can I not, you know, my father thinks that I'm a failure, blah, blah, blah. And so I get all these messages on Instagram. You know, I don't, if I'm being honest, I don't have time to reply to

Starting point is 00:02:32 everybody, but I see them all come in. I read them and then create podcast episodes, usually from what I read on Instagram. So, you know, if you want me to do a podcast episode, send me an Instagram message. But, you know, the thing that's interesting about it though, is that I get these messages of how can I not let this other person ruin my mindset? That's basically all of them together summarized, right? And my response to you, if you feel like that's a question that you have a question on, is the person doesn't ruin your mindset. They don't. The person has absolutely no effect on you. No matter what happens, if you have no response to somebody or a massive response to somebody, they have no effect on your mindset. They didn't ruin your mindset.

Starting point is 00:03:12 They didn't ruin your day. You ruined your mindset. You ruined your day. If the person who came up to you and said words ruined your mindset and they came up and, you know, maybe they said, oh, your face is so ugly and maybe you have some sort of insecurity around what you look like. It could ruin your day. But if that person came up to you and said the exact same thing, but in a different language

Starting point is 00:03:37 that you don't speak, that would have no effect on you, which shows you that you put the actual meaning into the words. You'd have no reaction if it was in a different language. So it's not necessarily the words is what we're coming at, right? It's not the words. It's what you think of the words, but it's also what you think of yourself. It's what you think of the words and what you think of yourself. And this is really important to understand. Words only hurt to the degree at which you already believe them. Oh shit, that's a smack in the face, isn't it? The words that somebody says to you only hurts to the degree at which you already believe them. So once again, like I said, if someone comes up to you and says, your face is ugly, you are the ugliest person I've ever seen. And you have really high self-esteem.

Starting point is 00:04:27 Someone comes up to me and says, oh, you're ugly. All right, cool. Thanks. That's your opinion. But if somebody has really low self-esteem and they're looking in the mirror constantly and they're talking trash to himself and someone comes up to you and says, you're ugly. You're one of the ugliest people I've ever seen, your face is disgusting. And they believe that already before the person says it, well, guess what? It's going to hurt. And it will hurt to the degree at which you already believe it. So I've given this example probably 20 times in this podcast over the past eight years, maybe even more. But the way this really started clicking for me was a story that my friend had told one time when I was at an event, he was speaking at. And he was talking about his first mentor. And if you've

Starting point is 00:05:08 listened to this podcast for a long time, you could probably tell the story as well as I can. But let's just go over it one more time because sometimes it hits differently when you hear it at a different time. One of my friends, he's walking down the street with his mentor. He's 24, 25 years old at this time with his mentors in his 40s. And he's already doing over a million dollars in his business. Business is already super successful. It's doing well. His mentor says to him, he goes, man, your business is doing so well. He's like, you must be so proud of yourself. And he's like, not really, man. And he's like, what do you mean? He's like, well, every time I get an email about somebody not liking the product or that it broke or that the shipping didn't come

Starting point is 00:05:46 in the way that they wanted. And I get all of these responses. I honestly just think of shutting it down. And his mentor, without skipping a beat, goes, yeah, because you're insecure. My friend's like, what are you talking about? He goes, you are insecure. And the reason why this hurts is because you already are insecure about your business. He's like, let me give you an example. We're walking down the street right now. What if a lady comes up to you right now and she says, oh my God, you have the ugliest pink hair I've ever seen. What are you going to think? He goes, well, I'm not really going to think anything of it. He goes, why aren't you going to think anything of it? He goes, well, because I don't have pink hair. He goes, oh yeah, you're not going to think anything of it because you don't think that you have pink hair, but you'll think something of it and you'll

Starting point is 00:06:28 get caught up in the story and you'll get caught up in the words when someone doesn't like your product because you're insecure around your product, you're insecure around your business. So the reason why you are offended by what someone else is saying is because you actually already believe what that person is saying. I want you to take a step back and actually think about this. Whatever triggers you is something that you already believe about yourself. And we'll talk about triggers in just a second. But when someone comes up to you and says something, it's not them that's the problem. It's you that's the problem. We are always the problem. You are the problem to everything in your life. You are also the solution to everything in your life. The faster that you learn that,

Starting point is 00:07:07 the faster that you really understand that, the faster that you really get that into your soul, the faster your life will start to change. If someone came up to me in the street and just called me fat, I wouldn't think anything of it because I would probably laugh because I just don't view myself as someone who's fat.

Starting point is 00:07:22 But if someone gets highly offended by it, it could be because they're fat, but there are also people who are not fat that think that they are fat. And so what it comes down to is what you actually believe about yourself. That's what it comes down to. It doesn't matter what someone's body looks like. There's some people that are overweight that wouldn't give a shit. Some people who are not overweight, they'll be like, oh my God, I look so fat today. So if someone gets highly offended by it, it's because they're saying words to them that they already believe about themselves. And really, this is a definition of being triggered. Being triggered is one of the best things that could possibly happen to you if you look at it the right way.

Starting point is 00:07:57 Now, you might be like, that doesn't make any sense. It does make sense when you hear me explain it, right? Because being triggered is a gift. If somebody triggers you, they don't deserve to be slapped. They don't deserve for you to be pissed. They deserve a hug. They deserve a high five from you, whatever it is, because that person is basically the universe coming to you in the form of a human in front of your face to show you where you are not free. It is a place where you are stuck in your own mind, whether what you believe about yourself, what you believe about the world, what you believe about people around you. Whenever you are triggered by something, that is the universe, God, whatever you want to believe in, coming to you in a physical

Starting point is 00:08:41 manifestation of a human to show you where you are stuck, where you are not free. Because ultimately, that's all we're trying to do. We're trying to get free, free from ourselves, free from our minds. We're trying to build a life of freedom, aren't we? They're showing you a place where you're stuck in your own head. They're showing you a place where you have given up your own sovereignty as a sovereign being and said, I'm just going to let everybody else control the way that I feel based off of what they say. Because they're just words. You know, there's a quote that's perfectly about this. I probably said it 150 times in this podcast by Eleanor Roosevelt. And she says, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Starting point is 00:09:28 without your consent. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. You are deciding, even if you're not realizing that's just conscious decision, you are subconsciously deciding, I'm going to give up control of how I feel based off of what other people say to me. I'm going to let other people control the way that I feel. That's basically what you're saying unconsciously. Oh, this person says this word. I'm going to be mad about it. They're in control of my feelings now. It's what it comes down to. You have to be the one to take control of your feelings again. Viktor Frankl, who I would say is probably the best person to learn from as far as how to learn and grow because this guy was a psychologist who was in Nazi prison camps like Auschwitz. And he lived through them and he saw people go through them. And he was already a psychologist before,

Starting point is 00:10:09 so he was able to see people and the way they act. People who were in the camps, but people who were also running the camps. He was able to kind of see both sides of the extremes of humans, right? And one of the things that he says, there's a great book on it if you want to read his book. It's called Man's Search for Meaning. It's really short, really, I don't want to say easy read. It is easy to read,

Starting point is 00:10:30 but it is a hard read because he tells you some stuff about what happened to him and other people around him that is pretty hard to stomach. But he says, when you look at your life, he says, between stimulus and response, there's a space. And in that space is our power to choose our response. And in our response lies our freedom. So let me take that quote again and break it down for you. Between stimulus and response, something happening and you responding to it, there's a space. It could be a tenth of a second. But in that space is our power to choose our response. Our power to choose our response. And in the response lies our growth and our freedom. What is he saying? He's saying no matter what happens to you, you are the one that's in control of how

Starting point is 00:11:19 you respond. You're also the one that's in control of how you feel. And if you're just leaving it up to other people, you're not in control of your life. You're not in control of yourself. You're also in control of how you feel. And if you're just leaving it up to other people, you're not in control of your life. You're not in control of yourself. You're not in control of your mind. You're not in control of your emotions. But if you can actually start to understand that when you master your emotions, no matter what somebody says to you, you won't respond to it no matter how bad it is. You'll be able to keep your calm, cool composure. It's not saying that I'm going to be absent of this world. Oh my gosh, whatever somebody says, I'm just going to act like they don't say it. No, it's saying I'm going to listen to what they say and I'm going to be so in control of myself that no matter what somebody does or

Starting point is 00:11:54 says to me, I am going to keep my calm. My inner peace will not be disturbed by anybody else. So what are both of those quotes showing you? That you are the gatekeeper to your freedom. You are the gatekeeper to your freedom. You are the only one that's in control and you cannot give control to someone else, what they say and what they do. You can't. There is no way. But we act like, oh, well, you know, you see somebody and they're like, why are you acting like that? Why are you so mad? Oh, well, I'm so mad because she did this. No, you're not. You're not mad because of the event. You're mad because of your response to the event. There is no one that can change the way that you think, the way that you feel,

Starting point is 00:12:31 the way that you act. You do. So stop giving your power away. And it's like when you really start to think about it, you really start to go, man, yeah, I am the one that's in control. There's another really good quote that Viktor Frankl says. He says, everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms. And this is, let me take a step out of his quote. This is from someone who saw everyone's freedoms completely taken away from them, right? So he says, everything can be taken from a man, but one thing, the last of the human freedoms, to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. So you could take everything from somebody. But the last thing that you have, the last freedom

Starting point is 00:13:12 that you really have is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose who you're going to be, how you're going to act, how you're going to be as a person. But once again, the words only hurt to the degree that we already believe them. So what do we need to do? We need to notice our triggers. When someone triggers us, it's not fun. You feel it. But then you take a step back after being triggered and you say, okay, what just happened? Why did I get triggered? What was the situation that just happened there? Because we need to release our attachments to these triggers. We need to release our beliefs to what somebody says to us. Because you do want to be free, right? I want to be free. Humans want to be free more than they want anything else. That's one thing that I do believe more than anything else. Humans want to be free

Starting point is 00:13:56 more than they want anything else. We want freedom. Try to tell a two-year-old that they can't do something. How do they react? They want to be free. That's why I think a lot of people want to make money. They think that they want money. They don't want money. They want what they think money will give them, which is freedom. Freedom to do what they want, when they want, with who they want. We think we want the money, but we just want the freedom. We want what comes with the money is more than anything else. But more than anything else, we want freedom. Besides freedom to do what we want, when we want, with who we want, we want freedom in our minds. besides freedom to do what we want, what we want, with who we want,

Starting point is 00:14:24 we want freedom in our minds. That's what we really want. Imagine if your mind was just beautiful, peaceful, calm place, no matter what happened, it was just beautiful. Wouldn't that be nice? Shouldn't we all be trying to search for that,

Starting point is 00:14:37 to try to build that, to let go of the things that are causing the disturbances so that therefore we can have a calm mind? That's why you're here. That's why you've gone through the things you've gone through in your life is so you can figure out who you're not to rediscover who you truly are. That's why you're listening to this. So do you want to be triggered? Not necessarily. But what do you do next time that you are triggered? Because I promise

Starting point is 00:14:55 you it will happen again. Here's what you do. You punch the other person in the face. No, I'm just kidding. You don't do that. What you do is you make a mental note of being triggered and then you journal through it. What was it that happened? And what did that person shine a light on in myself? That person said, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And they made me realize, oh my God, that's actually what I believe in myself. They said that I'm ugly in some sort of way, or they talked down to me. That talked down to me and made me triggered. Why? Because I don't feel like I'm actually smart enough. And so that brought up a childhood wound from when I was 11 years old and the kids in class called me stupid because I spelled couch incorrectly in a spelling bee. Maybe that's what it is. Oh shit,

Starting point is 00:15:35 that's not their fault. It's me. I'm still holding on to an 11-year-old spelling bee. It's not that person's fault that they said to me. Okay, I see. You start to identify yourself more. You start to be able to let go of these things. And as you start to let go of these things, you become more free. Ultimately, that's what we're searching for. So next time you're triggered, what do you do? Write it down, question yourself about it, and try to see where it came from and how you can become free of it. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, do me a favor. Please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And with that, I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every

Starting point is 00:16:07 single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - The Power Of Your Words

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.