The Mindset Mentor - The Psychology Of Happiness

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. I put out episodes four times a week to help you understand yourself, to learn, to grow, so that ultimately you can change your life by changing yourself. So if you don't want to miss another episode, hit that subscribe button. Today, I'm going to be teaching you about the psychology of happiness and how to be happier. Now, this is a topic I've done before in the past, but ultimately I think it's super important to dive really deep into it because of the fact that I would assume every single person who's listening to this podcast right now wants to be happy. If you were to look at your entire life, wouldn't it be nice to live the rest of

Starting point is 00:00:51 your life happier, more content, more peaceful, with more gratitude? Probably. And the thing that I want you to understand about happiness is everyone wants a state of mind of happiness, but how do you get there? Like, I don't, if I asked anybody on the street, would you want to be happy? They'd say, yeah. Well, how the hell do you get there? Because when you look at happiness, like defining happiness is not really like a one size fits all type of thing. It's different from person to person. What makes you happy is not necessarily what would make me happy and someone else happy and vice versa and so some people are are simple and they find happiness in little things other people you know need a little bit more to be happy but the science of happiness has really gained a whole lot of attention in in the recent years and there's a

Starting point is 00:01:41 lot of studies and research that's been going on to try to understand like what makes a person happy? How can they increase their happiness? And so we're going to dive into just the science of happiness and how all of us can really start to work at being happier. Yes, you have to work to be happier. When you look at happiness though, it really makes you take a step back and think to yourself like what is happiness? And happiness is defined as a subjective state of mind. The key word of that is subjective, right? So yes, you can feel joy and satisfaction and contentment and gratitude, but it is all subjective, which means that you can make yourself happy at any moment. Now, this phrase, when I post it on social media and

Starting point is 00:02:26 in reels, pisses people off because they're like, well, you don't know my fucking life. How are you going to tell me that I can just be happy at any moment? And I'm like, that's basing everything off the external. Happiness is not, hey, when my life is the way that I want it to be, then I'll be happy. Happiness is I will be happy no matter what happens in my life. And so it's important for us to really start to think about how can I be happier? Because happier people, they have better relationships, they have less stress, and they're actually, interestingly enough, more resilient when they face adversity. And so when you look at happiness and you look at the science of happiness um it's really psychology it's neuroscience it's philosophy it's sociology it's all of this stuff and so when you

Starting point is 00:03:12 look at like the the neuroscience of happiness can you see happiness in the brain or is it just something that we feel well there's a lot of of neuroscientists that have been researching happiness and it turns out you can actually see happiness in the brain. It's really started to help us understand that when someone really feels happy, there's certain regions of the brain that are associated with happiness. There's the prefrontal cortex, there's the amygdala, and there's the striatum. And so when you look at the prefrontal cortex, the prefrontal cortex is involved in your decision making, your goal setting, your planning. And so this region of the brain is also associated with really positive emotions such as podcast, when emotions are high, logic is low. The reason why is because when your emotions are high, it actually starts to shut down parts of the prefrontal cortex, which is where your decision making is. And so when you're in a happier,

Starting point is 00:04:13 more joyful, more grateful state, you actually make better decisions. You actually plan better. And so the first part of the brain is a prefrontal cortex. The next part of the brain is the amygdala, is a prefrontal cortex. The next part of the brain is the amygdala, which is the place where you process emotions, especially fear and anxiety. And so research has shown that when people are happier, they tend to have less activity in their amygdala when they're exposed to really negative stimuli. And so interestingly enough, when you're happy, it starts to shut down parts of the amygdala. There's less activity in it, which means there's less fear. There's less negative emotion when you have that. Meaning happier people are less fearful and less worried. I would assume based off of all of the things that are happening in the world, everybody listening wants to be

Starting point is 00:05:00 happy, but you also probably want to be less fearful. You probably want to be less worried. So that's the amygdala. And then the striatum is involved in reward processing and motivation. So research has shown that people who are happier tend to have more activity in the striatum when they're exposed to rewarding stimuli. So when you accomplish something and when you get to where you want to go, you actually feel happier, but you also feel more motivated to take action to get that reward. So it seems like happiness really affects in a lot of, a lot of areas in your life, right? And so when you look at it, there's a lot of different things. So that's how it works in your brain. Now let's talk about the social factors of happiness. When you look at social factors,

Starting point is 00:05:46 they play a really, really important role in happiness. There's research that has shown that people who have social support, social connections, deep integration of friends, all of those things are really important predictors of if that person is going to be happy. When you look at social support, there was an entire study that was done. I did an entire episode on it about, um, the, uh, the, the 80 year study that Harvard did. They did it. It's over 80 years at this point, but they did an 80 year study on happiness and they really started to break down what makes people happy. And they found out the number one thing that makes people happy or makes people sad or

Starting point is 00:06:24 depressed or anxious is their deep relationships. They found that people who have really deep relationships with a few other people, people they can love, people they can trust, people that accept them as they are, tend to be way happier and in turn actually live longer. People who have toxic relationships with the people that they're closest to actually tend to live less than the people who are happier. And so not only does it make your quality of life better to decide that you're going to focus on happiness and gratitude and joy,

Starting point is 00:06:54 it also helps you live longer. Because they found that social support buffers against negative effects of stress and it actually improves mental and physical health, which increase happiness. And so that's really interesting. When you have a good social support system, it doesn't mean you need 100 friends. stress and it actually improves mental and physical health, which increase happiness. And so that's really interesting. When you have a good social support system, it doesn't mean you need a hundred friends, but you have one or two people that you can really trust because the social support is a huge buffer against the negative effects of stress that you have inside of your life. And so when you look at the Harvard study, when you look at all of that, those studies really emphasize the importance of cultivating positive relationships.

Starting point is 00:07:29 And that cultivating means something that you work at. Relationships take time. They take effort. It's like a garden. You've got to go out and actually take care of the garden. And so it really helps. It's not about how many relationships somebody has, but it's about the depth of the relationships that they do have. Good relationships, you live happier, you live longer. Bad relationships,

Starting point is 00:07:51 toxic relationships, you tend to not even live as long as people who are happier. And so it's really important for us to understand is when you look at these insights is it's really showing you and it's consistent with the idea that happiness is not found outside of oneself. It's a state of mind that can be cultivated, that can be grown, that can be developed through deliberate effort, deliberate effort of saying, I am going to be happy no matter what happens to me. I'm going to be positive no matter what happens to me.

Starting point is 00:08:22 And when I say positive, I don't mean toxic positivity and the fact of like shit hits the fan and you're like, oh my God, I'm just so happy. Like you can look at negative things and say, I'm going to go through this in a positive way. And you can find the silver lining so that you come to negative things in a positive way. And so it's an internal state of mind that can be cultivated and something that can be grown and developed through deliberate effort. So now that we look at and something that can be grown and developed through deliberate effort. So now that we look at that, how can we increase our own happiness? So now that we have a little bit of a better understanding of the science of happiness, what you need, the neuroscience of it, how can we get better at it? I'm going to say the most cliche thing that you could possibly

Starting point is 00:09:02 say nowadays because everybody freaking says it. And now I feel like it's because everybody says it's, you know, it's, I think everyone says it because it is important, but it just seems so corny at this point is to practice gratitude. It really actually works. I promise you this. When you wake up in the morning and you practice and set your mind to, I'm going to be grateful no matter what happens to me. I'm going to look around and find the stuff that's happening to me that's good, that I love, the people that I love. It works. And there's science and there's studies that show it. It's one of the simplest, most effective ways to increase your happiness is to look around you and to focus on the things that you have and feel grateful for those things. I've always heard the phrase,

Starting point is 00:09:44 things that you have and feel grateful for those things. I've always heard the phrase, happiness is not getting what you want, but it's wanting what you already have. And seeing the things you already have and saying, damn, this is all that I've wanted. All of this is great. Now you could still be motivated and want to achieve more, but can you do that from a place of gratitude immediately? So how do you actually do this? And is there, first off, is there any science behind it? Is there any studies behind it? There is. There was a study that was done in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. And the study examined the effects of gratitude on subjective well-being. Once again, subjective well-being. And participants were basically instructed to write either about things that

Starting point is 00:10:25 they were grateful for or about hassles and difficulties in their lives. And results showed that those who wrote about gratitude reported higher levels of subjective well-being. So the ones that focused on things they were grateful for actually had higher levels of subjective well-being. Research has shown that by practicing gratitude, you can increase your happiness, you can increase your well-being, you can increase your health, and also your life satisfaction. So the thing that researchers recommend is to keep a gratitude journal, to wake up every single day and just write down a few things that you're grateful for. Early in the morning, when you're able to set your reticular activating system, because if you don't know, your reticular activating system is basically

Starting point is 00:11:05 the bouncer at the door of what information comes into your brain. And so if you decide, I'm going to stop being negative, because if you're negative and you're focusing on negative stuff, you're going to find all of the things in your life to be negative about. But if you wake up in the morning, you say, I'm going to set the bouncer at the door and I'm going to concentrate on what I'm grateful for. Your brain will start to notice throughout the day, more things to be grateful for that you've probably been missing. And so you're going to write down three things that you're grateful for every single day. And they don't have to be huge things, right? It doesn't have to be like, oh, I'm, you know, incredibly successful or I have, you know,

Starting point is 00:11:37 a six pack or whatever it might be. It doesn't have to be big things. I have a multi-billion dollar business. It doesn't have to be any of those things. It could be a sunset. It could be a kind gesture of your friend and what they did for you yesterday. It could be larger things like a meaningful relationship, a fulfilling career. It could be the health of your family. It could be that, hey, the sun decided to come out today. It's been raining the past few days. And it's about setting your sights, your focus on what you can be grateful for first thing in the morning so that you start seeing unconsciously, pulling from your unconscious to your conscious mind, the things that are around you that maybe you've been missing because you've been focusing on the negative. Another thing, obviously, based off of what I said just a little while ago, is if you want to

Starting point is 00:12:19 be happier, really start to focus on positive relationships. I've fucked this up before in the past of being so busy that I have like stopped calling friends and stopped hanging out with friends and stopped being around them. And then you realize you, you know, you can start to build a business and you can build success and stuff, but what is success if you don't have anyone to celebrate it with? And so have you ever like really taken a step back and said like, who are the people in my life that I want to spend more time with? Maybe there's some friends that you have deep relationships with. You want to spend more time with them. Maybe there's some people that are acquaintances and you're like, you know what? I would really love to build a deep relationship with them because when you build

Starting point is 00:12:56 really positive relationships, it will increase your overall happiness. It'll improve your mental health, your physical health, and really make you feel like you have a safe space to be yourself. And it's really interesting. And if you don't have people around you, because I have people that send me messages like, no one around me, everyone's around me as a loser. They don't do anything with their lives. Join clubs, join groups, start to find new hobbies to be around people, find things that are aligned with your interests. Attend social events to meet new people. There's people out there who are the people that you want to meet if you don't know them already, right?

Starting point is 00:13:32 Something that's super simple to think about. Try to put yourself out there a little bit more if you're trying to meet new people. Another thing that's really important is, corny and cliche according to all of this, but it really actually works, is mindfulness and meditation. Research has shown over and over again that mindfulness and meditation increase happiness. It reduces stress, it improves your mental health, it improves your physical health. There was a study that was done in clinical psychology, and they actually found that the results showed that mindfulness can improve the outcomes of depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and other conditions, which shows the benefits of mindfulness and meditation in your overall well-being, but also in your happiness.

Starting point is 00:14:12 And so you can try mindfulness meditation. There's 5 billion of them on YouTube. And it's just, you know, sit down, be quiet. You can focus on your breath for just a few minutes each day. So you can turn off that monkey mind that's just constantly running all the time, you know, telling you what's wrong, telling you what's not right, all of that stuff. And you really try to cultivate this mindfulness and just being present, not always having to be somewhere else, not always having to be, you know, the busiest person that's around, whatever it might be. And so it's really important to start

Starting point is 00:14:45 to say to yourself like, hey, is it possible for me to start to work on my happiness? First off, I think it's important to ask yourself the question, is it important for me to be happy in my life? And if it is, how can I start working at being happier? How can I cultivate this mindfulness? Because happiness is a state of mind. Happiness is a subjective experience, which means that you can decide to be happy at any moment. It's not dependent. This isn't some guy just on a podcast saying it. I've told you studies after studies. There's many more that I haven't said. It's not dependent on external factors. It's dependent on your internal state and not something that you can control. External factors such as wealth and status and relationships and all of those stuff,

Starting point is 00:15:30 sure, maybe they contribute a little bit to your sense of well-being, but they don't guarantee your happiness. You guarantee your happiness. Research has shown that people who are wealthy and famous and successful are not necessarily happier than those who are not. So if you think, oh, well, when I succeed, then I'll be happy. No, how about you? You can still succeed if you want to, whatever success means to you. But can you be happy on your way to success is really the question you should be asking yourself. Because research has found that happiness is often a result of your internal state, not your external factors. So how can you start to work on your happiness immediately? So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this podcast, I actually want to announce something really special. I am about to launch something called

Starting point is 00:16:14 Mindset Mentor Plus. And it's some way that you can actually join in a community and myself to not just listen to these episodes, but fully integrate every single episode into your life. And each episode that comes out, Mindset Mentor Plus is going to be giving detailed worksheets, thought-provoking journaling prompts, and targeted assignments so that are detailed so that you can actively engage in these episodes in your life and apply each episode to your life as well. So that you're not just like hearing the message and passively letting it go from one ear to the other, but actually implementing it and actively using the episodes in your life to dive deeper and truly absorb every single topic. There's going to be exclusive question and answer sessions with me. There's access to an entire

Starting point is 00:16:57 community of other people who are mindset mentor listeners, many other bonuses as well. And all of it will be less than probably 99% of the people listening spend on coffee every single month. And the founding members of it will get 25% discount. So it's not out yet. If you want to sign up for the waitlist, all you have to do is go to mindsetwaitlist.com and you will be the first to know before it's even announced in the podcast so that you can get the discount and be part of the community so we can grow and improve and really start to integrate this more and more into your life. So once again, if you want to learn more about it, go to mindsetweightless.com.

Starting point is 00:17:33 And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode, making sure mission makes somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - The Psychology Of Happiness

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.