The Mindset Mentor - The Root of Happiness

Episode Date: December 3, 2021

We all want to be happy, don't we? Of course we do! But there's something behind happiness that you might not know about. In this episode we're going to dive deep into the root of all of your happiness! Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dylann. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. And if you're out there and you want to receive motivational text messages from me, text me right now, 1-512-580-9305. Once again, 1-512-580-9305. Once again, 1-512-580-9305. Today, we're going to be talking about

the root of all of the happiness that you desire in your life. Think about this for a second. Wouldn't it be amazing if you woke up every single day and you were just happy? Like, what would that feel like to wake up every single day, your alarm goes off,

maybe you wake up even before your alarm and you're like, oh shit, this is amazing. Wouldn't that be great? Wouldn't it be something that we all should shoot for is making our lives amazing to just be happy all of the time? And let me take a step back. We're not going to be happy all of the time. I understand that. Let's be real about it. But to be happy more than we're not happy, wouldn't it just be amazing to have? It would be heaven on earth to be able to do that. It'd be great. But I want to bring in a quote.

I heard Will Smith say this on his Instagram not too long ago. And he said, happiness is not pleasure. Happiness is peace. And so one of the things that I noticed, especially in our Western society, is that we search for pleasure. We always want. And so one of the things that I noticed, especially in our Western society, is that we search for pleasure. We always want to find more pleasurable things. We want to search for the pleasure. We think that money is going to bring us happiness and make us,

give us happiness. And we think that maybe if we get other people's approval, other people's approval, God, that'd be so good. We're going to be so happy once we get everybody's approval. Or you know what? Maybe if I get this really nice car, people will think that I'm freaking awesome. And then once I get that car and people think I'm awesome, then I'm going to be happy. Or once I become a millionaire, then I'm going to be happy. And I'm going to feel better about myself.

But until then, I can't be happy yet. And people drink for pleasure or to not feel pain. So to get away from the pain, they want to seek the pleasure that they want. They seek the pleasure they want from obviously going out and going, hey, I'm going to drink and that's going to make me feel better.

Some people do drugs. Some people have sex. And they search for these things, these pleasurable things, which all of those things can be pleasurable. All of them are pleasurable. Like having a nice car, you know, drinking can be pleasurable.

Doing some drugs can be pleasurable. Having sex can be pleasurable. Other people's opinions of us and thinking that we're awesome. All of those things can be pleasurable. But then we realize none of those things actually make us happy. Like you've heard it before.

Money does not buy happiness. I heard a quote the other day that has never hit so home as this quote about money. And it says, the only problems that money solves is money problems. So if you think that getting rich is going to solve all your problems, getting rich is only going to solve your money problems. But then when you get rich, you realize you have a whole other set of money problems. So just more problems come up. So your problems will not be solved. The only problems that will be solved

when you make money is money problems. But if that's the case, if all those pleasurable things don't make us happy, what will make us actually happy? In what I think, in what I heard Will Smith say, where I was like, yeah, that makes so much sense, is peace. Peace will

make us happy. To wake up and feel peace and not feel stressed, not feel worried, not feel like, oh my God, I've got to do this. I've got to do this. I'm so stressed. I'm so worried about the future and is Armageddon coming and is inflation going to make me poor and all of these things. If we were to be like, oh, I'm just so peaceful, wouldn't you feel like you'd be happier if you were more peaceful? Because being around people that bring in more peace will make you happier. And whenever I start to think about that, then I go, okay, well, if peace is the thing that's going to make me happy, then whatever disturbing my peace, whatever is disturbing my peace or getting in the way of my peace is in the way of my happiness. So therefore what I should do is I should figure out,

number one, what is it that makes me peaceful? What is it that brings more peace into my life? And what is it that gets in the way of my peace and make a list of all of these things so that I can then remove them? Because if I can remove as many things I possibly can from my table of peace, then my table's going to be more peaceful. It's like looking at a counter, like I'm sitting at my kitchen island right now. I'm sitting in my kitchen island recording this. If there was a bunch of shit all over the place and I went,

I just want to have a clean counter, what's the easiest thing to do? Just move everything off and put it all away and clean the counter, right? So if we think of our peace as this counter that I'm sitting at and go, well, this counter that I'm sitting at is really dirty and I want to get all this stuff off of it. This is my peace. Why don't I just remove all the things that are not bringing peace into my life? So what we have to do is we have to make a list and figure out all of the things that are in the way of our peace. So for all of you listening, it'd be a really good idea if you're sitting at home, if you're able to, to get out a pen and paper and just start making a list of everything that's getting in the way. So, so many things get in the way of our peace. So I want to ask you this question and I want you to write it down if you

can. What is stealing my peace? What is stealing my peace? And once I've identified what those things are on that list that are stealing my peace, I need to have laser-like focus to avoid or get rid of anything that steals my peace. Anything that steals your peace needs to be removed from your life. So what is stealing your peace? Let's go through a couple of different things that could be stealing your peace. People. Are there people in your life that are stealing your peace? Are there people in your life that when you are around them are like, God, I feel worse than I did 20 minutes ago before I had that conversation with John. Okay. Well, if John is stealing your peace, can you spend a little bit

less time with John so that you can have more peace in your life? If they're disrupting your peace, can you remove them in some sort of way? What else can get in the way of your peace? Well, first off, before we switch and transition that, if people can steal your peace, are there people that add peace to your life? Are there people that in your life, they're just like, man, whenever I'm around this person, I feel so much better. I feel so much more peaceful. They bring, like I've had people where I've left the room and been like, whoa, my energy feels amazing after being around that person. And I'm not much of like an energy person. I've never been a person that really like feels a whole lot when it's like energy, but there's some people I've been around. I'm like, I feel better after being around that person. Are there people in your life that are like that? And can you bring

more of those people into your life? Either hang out more with those people, but also add more people to your life that will bring peace. Another thing could be stealing your peace. What we think in our heads. Are there things that you say to yourself that steal peace from you? Is there worry that you have that steals your peace? Are there things that stress you out that steal your peace? Do you have shame in your life? Do you have guilt for things that you've done in your past that you continue to guilt yourself and shame yourself? Are there things that you think in your head that steal your peace? If there are, write them down, become aware of them and ask yourself, how can I start removing these things from my life to have more peace? What about the place you live?

Does the place that you live, does it bring you peace? Is there a city that you live in? Is it that you're just like, I hate this city. I don't want to be here anymore. If it's possible to move cities, is it possible to move cities? I'm not saying you have to move like, you know, if you have a family and a house and all those things,

but you just hate the city that you're in for whatever reason it might be. Can you start to make a transition plan to go, what city would bring me? What's a city that I would love to live in, that I would love to raise my family, that brings me peace, that would bring my family peace? Is there any place that I could move to that would bring out a more peaceful, more better version of myself? Maybe it's just the house that you live in. Maybe you can identify, I don't like where I

live. I've been there before. I've been like, I don't freaking like this place. I don't like the neighborhood that it's in. I love the city that I live in, but the house that I live. I mean, I've been there before. I've been like, I don't freaking like this place. I don't like the neighborhood that it's in. I love the city that I live in, but the house that I live in, this condo that I live in, the apartment I live in, I don't like this. Can I start to go, hey, what would be a more peaceful place? Maybe I love being out in nature

and I live in the middle of downtown. Okay, can I figure out a place that I would love to move to and see that if in the next year to 18 months that I can move into that place that was around more nature. Maybe there's a walking trail that I would love to move to and see that if in the next year to 18 months that I can move into that place that was around more nature. Maybe there's a walking trail that I can go and go out into nature every single day and being in nature can bring me more peace. And start to make a plan of like, hey, where I live in doesn't bring me peace. Is there a possibility that I can switch out and move into a place that would bring me more peace? This is it. The putt to win the tournament.

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That's C-O-M-E-T-E-E-R.com slash mindset to save $20 on your first order, cometeer.com slash mindset. What about the news? I know the answer to this question for everybody listening. Does the news bring you peace? Or every single time you watch the news,

are you like, yeah, I feel like shit. I don't know about you guys, but I was in a store the other day and they were playing the news. And I was like, this is what people see all day? I don't turn on the news. I don't even have, I have a TV, but I don't have any way to watch the news. And I was like, I feel my piece being stolen from me in the two minutes of the news being played. It's like destruction, Armageddon, people hate each other. This side versus this side. This side's wrong. This side's right. It's divisive, divisive, divisive. Does the news bring you some form of, does it steal your peace away from you? And if it does, can you stop watching it? Can you distance yourself from it?

Same way that a person that is stealing your peace, can you distance yourself from them? Can you distance yourself from the news? There's a quote that I saw by a little while ago by a guy named Duncan Trussell. And he says, somewhere in the world, some poor phoneless fool is probably sitting next to a beautiful waterfall somewhere, totally unaware of how angry and scared he's supposed to be. Like that's like the perfect example of the news right now, right? There's some poor fool that's

phoneless and is probably sitting next to a beautiful waterfall, and they're totally unaware of how angry and how scared they're supposed to be, how angry at other people are supposed to be that don't think the same way as them, how scared they're supposed to be with, you know, all of the stuff that could or could not be happening in the world. And you're looking and you're like, yeah, there probably is. Can I be more like that person that's that quote unquote ignorant fool that's sitting next to a waterfall that has no idea how angry or scared they're supposed to be? Ignorance sometimes is bliss. I would like to be more ignorant of the news. I don't know about you.

Another thing to think about, social media. If you've been following me for the past few months, I've dropped some seeds and kind of told you that the unfollow button is my new best friend. I have hit the unfollow button way more than I've hit the follow button recently. On Instagram, I've unfollowed hundreds of people on Instagram over the past few months. Why? I've unfriended friends, like people that I really actually

truly know. I've unfriended family members. I've unfriended people because I'm like this person following them and seeing the stuff they're talking about, seeing the stuff they're posting and the doom and gloom and this side and that side and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Seeing their stories make me feel worse. They are stealing my peace. Unfollow. I recently, over the past about six weeks, have unfriended 3,000 people on Facebook. I don't know how I got to 5,000 people that are my friends on Facebook because a lot of them, I was like, I don't even know who the hell this person is. But I had 5,000, just under 5,000 friends on Facebook, just under that limit. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to build my social media to reflect the world that I want to see, to remind me of what it is I'm working for. I'm going to follow motivational pages. I'm

going to follow people who inspire me, who make me want to be better. And if somebody, if I happen to see somebody's story on Instagram and I'm like, oh, only 15 seconds. It's 30 seconds. I'm like, I don't feel more peaceful after seeing that. In fact, I feel the exact opposite. Can I start to unfollow that person? And I started to think about all of these different pockets of my life, the people that are around me, do they add to my peace? Do they take away from my peace? The place that I live, do they steal my peace? Do they add to my peace? The stuff that I think in my head, does it steal my peace? Does it add to my peace? And I went on this mission of just like, how can I build and be as diligent as I possibly can to build as much peace into my life as possible?

To be intentional to seek peace in every single moment of my life if I can. Because I don't need to know everything that's happening. I don't need to know this person's side and that person's side and how this person's fighting against this person, how there's divisiveness and divisiveness and divisiveness. What I want to do is I want to be intentional of who I want to be and how I want to show up for the world and the compassion that I want to show other people, knowing that there's a lot of people going through a lot of things right now and there's a lot of changes that have happened in the world. I know who I want to be and how I want to show up in the world. And can I just stick to that and pay attention to how I'm showing up in the world

and not worry about the news and not worry about the things in my head that I'm saying and not worry about people that I've fallen out of that stuff, but go, you know what? I'm going to make sure that I'm as diligent as possible to bring as much peace into my life as I possibly can. The thing that I think that we have to become very aware of and have a new mindset of is we must have a very low tolerance for anything that steals our peace. You must have a very low tolerance for anything that steals your peace.

It's not easy. It's not easy to unfollow people that you know, that you've been friends with for a long time, people that are in your family. It's not easy to stop watching the news and to kind of be unaware of what's happening. It's not easy to do all of these things, but it becomes easier and easier as you start to notice that you feel better and better and better. And when you feel better about yourself, you go, this is great. I want to continue doing this. I feel better today. What did I do that brought

me so much peace? Because if you look at the root of everything that we do, if you look at the root of it, getting more things, having more money, having more drugs, having more drinking, other people's approval, other people's opinions, all of those things, all of the pleasurable things that we think bring us happiness will never bring us happiness. What's going to bring you the most happiness

is to wake up every single day and feel joy and peace and love. That is what's going to bring the most happiness into your life. So can you have a very, very low tolerance for anything that steals peace from you? And to wake up every single day with the intention of I'm going to be as peaceful as possible and anything that makes me feel different than peaceful needs to be removed from my life. That is how you have more happiness in your life. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode,

please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I also post inspirational, motivational videos, quotes, pictures, all kinds of stuff, real stories on my Instagram. We just had over 350,000 people that follow me on there. So if you want to join us, connect with other people who think the same, and hopefully send me a message and see how things are going. That is where I connect with people. Once again, it is RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.

And I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.