The Mindset Mentor - The Science Of Happiness: How To Be Happier

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you love this podcast, you'll probably love our YouTube as well. We put up YouTubes about three or four every single week. We put up some of these podcasts and we also put up some YouTube specific lessons. So if you like this podcast, you'd definitely like us over there. Go over to YouTube and type in my name, Rob Dial, R-O-B-D-I-A-L, and subscribe to us there. Today, we're going to be talking about the science of happiness and how to be happier. Who doesn't want to be happier, right? Who doesn't? Even if you're the

Starting point is 00:00:44 happiest person alive and they're like, hey, do you want to be happier? I think everyone's going to say yes to that, right? But what is happiness? Like what is it? How do we achieve it? How do we get there? What are some action steps to get there as well? That's what we're going to talk about today. And so when you look at happiness, happiness is a state of mind that really everybody wants to get to. But what is it? Like in defining happiness is not really an easy task. Happiness is not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. It's different for every single person. There's some people out there that can find happiness in the littlest of things. And other people might require a whole lot more. For me, I've been working for years to find more happiness in like the little teeny tiny things.

Starting point is 00:01:26 And we all think that, oh, if I make more money, I'll be happier. That won't happen, I'm telling you right now. Or when I finally achieve this thing or get to this level in my business, then I'll be happier. None of those things are true. And so the science of happiness has really gotten a lot of attention in recent years.

Starting point is 00:01:42 And many researchers have been going through a lot of studies to try to understand what actually makes somebody happy and how can they actually increase their happiness. And so in this episode, we'll explore the science of happiness and we'll go through some science, we'll go through some psychology, we'll also go through some neurology and what we can do to actually increase our levels of happiness. Cool? So before we dive into it, what in the hell is happiness? You know what it is, you know what it feels like, but can you clearly define what happiness is? That's what I really wanted to figure out before I started today's episode. And so when I went into it and I looked at it, it's defined as a subjective state

Starting point is 00:02:18 of mind that is characterized by positive emotions and feelings of contentment, satisfaction, and joy. Now, I think the most important piece of that is it is a subjective state of mind in the definition. Subjective state of mind means that subjective means that you are in control of when you feel happy, which means that you don't have to have something happen outside of you. You can just decide in this moment to be happy. And it is not something that happens to you. It is a state of mind. And so when you look at subjective state of mind, think about that for a second. That means that if you're not happy right now, it's because you are choosing not to be happy. You are choosing on saying that your internal state of mind is being dictated by external circumstances. And that's complete

Starting point is 00:03:06 bullshit. It is a subjective state of mind, which means that if you want to be happy right now, you can be happy right now. That's pretty interesting, right? Also, people who are happy tend to have better relationships, experience less stress, and are more resilient to adversity and tend to live longer. So isn't happiness something that we should all be really striving for if you look at it that way? I think that it is. So let's start to dive into the science of happiness, right? So the science of happiness is actually a multidisciplinary field. So it uses psychology, neuroscience, philosophy, and sociology. Okay, so psychology, neuroscience, philosophy, and sociology. So when you look at the neuroscience of what happiness is,

Starting point is 00:03:52 can we see in the brain when someone is happy or is it just something that we feel or is it just something that we know? Well, cool thing is when somebody's happy, you can actually see it in their brain, which shows you that there's things that you could do to help yourself be happier and to experience it in your brain. Neuroscience has also really gone into studying people's brains when they're happy, when they're sad, everything. And research has actually found that certain regions of the brain are associated with happiness. So when someone feels happy, when they see someone that they love, when they feel content, when they feel joy, when you look at it, there's a couple different parts of your brain that light up. The first one is the prefrontal cortex. The second one is the amygdala, believe it or not. And the third one is the striatum. So we're going to go through

Starting point is 00:04:39 them. So the prefrontal cortex is involved with decision-making, goal-setting, and planning. And this region of the brain is also associated with positive emotions. And those would be like happiness, but also contentment as well. And so when you feel happier, the prefrontal cortex, the thinking part of your brain, which shows that you can literally think your way into being happier, right? You can also think your way into not being happy. So the prefrontal cortex, which is decision-making, goal-setting, and planning, it's also the region of the brain where you have positive emotions such as happiness and contentment. The amygdala, which is the processing of emotions, particularly with fear and anxiety. So when people hear about like, when we talk about

Starting point is 00:05:18 fear, usually your brain, the amygdala piece of your brain, which is a really old part of your brain, is creating the fear. And so research has shown that people are happier when they have less amygdala activity and when they're exposed to negative stimuli, meaning that happier people are actually less fearful and less worried than anybody else. So what's cool about it is there's certain parts of your brain that turn on when you're happy, and there's certain parts of your brain that turn off. So the amygdala, which is where the fear is created, when you tend to be happier, it actually starts to shut off parts of your amygdala. So that means that even if you have negative stimuli come in, you're still going to be happier, less fearful, and less worried. And then with the striatum is involved with reward processing

Starting point is 00:06:03 and motivation. So research has shown that people who are happier tend to have more activity in the striatum when exposed to rewarding stimuli. So it's actually a processing, a reward processing and motivation part of your brain. And so that's kind of cool because it shows you that happiness isn't just something that is something that we feel or something that's, you know, it's just, it's not graspable. It's like science and neuroscience can actually look at it and say, okay, if somebody's happier, their prefrontal cortex and their striatum tend to have more activity and their amygdala tends to have less activity, which shows you this is all happening in your brain as well. It's happening in your brain. It's happening in your body. It's happening all around you. So what are

Starting point is 00:06:43 some of the other factors that can cause somebody to feel happy? Well, one of the things is social factors. Social factors play a really important role. So research has shown that social support, like social connections, are really important predictors of somebody's happiness. So with social support, what that means is it refers to the emotional, instrumental, and informational support that we receive from other people. Social support has been shown to buffer against negative effects of stress, improve health, physical health, and also increase happiness. So what's cool is that when you have social support, a lot of people tend to, especially what's been happening over the past couple years, they have gotten used to being a little bit more alone, which is fine if you like being alone. And for me, like I like being alone, but I also like being around people as well. And so you need to have a social environment that helps you because it's showing, research has been showing

Starting point is 00:07:38 that when somebody has a really stressful event in their life, if they have people around them that give them social support, it makes the stress way easier and way lower on them. And so research has shown that people who have more socially integrated, that are more socially integrated, tend to have higher levels of happiness and well-being as well. And if you've ever heard of the 80-year study that Harvard did, it's 80 plus years because they're still going, on happiness, where they actually found in Boston, some of the poorest teenagers in Boston, some of the richest neighborhoods in Boston, the teenagers, and they followed them throughout their entire lives. They actually found that the number one predictor of someone's happiness is their social environment. And it's not that they have to have a huge social environment, like 50 friends or 20 friends.

Starting point is 00:08:25 It could be they have one or two really good friends in a great romantic relationship that they're in that they can be true and honest and vulnerable and they feel like there's support from that social environment. And so if you want to be happier, you don't need 30 really good friends. You need a couple, even if it's just one or two. And what they found is that people who have really supportive, vulnerable relationships as they get older actually tend to live longer as well. So they live longer, but also they're happier, which is what's cool about

Starting point is 00:08:55 it. So good relationships, you're happier and you live longer. Negative relationships, if you're in a negative relationship, you actually don't live as long and you tend to be more depressed. And so this is cool because these insights around everything are consistent with the idea that happiness is not really found outside of oneself, but rather a state of mind that can be cultivated and developed through really deliberate effort, which is cool to think about. Okay, we know now that having a great social environment helps us be happier. Well, we can be more deliberate to have a supportive social environment. If there's people who are very supportive that we need to spend more time with, we spend more time. If there's people who are less supportive or negative or toxic, we let those people go.

Starting point is 00:09:41 And that will actually help us be happier. How else can we increase our happiness? Well, now that we have a better understanding of the science of happiness, what can we do to increase our levels of happiness? First one, which seems I've always thought, even though I use gratitude, I've always thought that it just feels corny, but I still do it because it makes me feel better. And at the same time, now there's so much science that's coming out around gratitude. So the first thing that you can do is you can practice gratitude. One of the simplest, easiest, most effective ways to increase your happiness is to practice gratitude. And it feels weird to think like, oh, I'm going to wake up in the morning.

Starting point is 00:10:18 I'm going to take out a pen and piece of paper, and I'm going to write down and focus on three things that I'm grateful for. It seems like, is that really going to do anything? But science has proven that it does. Gratitude is just, it involves focusing on the positive things in life and expressing appreciation for them. And so the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, they did a study that found that gratitude on, gratitude actually changes somebody's well-being. So participants were instructed to write things that they were grateful for every single morning and how they were grateful for

Starting point is 00:10:51 them and why they were grateful for them. Doesn't matter how big the thing is, doesn't matter how small the thing was, but results showed that those who wrote things that they were grateful for in the morning had higher levels of subjective well-being. So research has shown over and over again that practicing gratitude can increase your happiness, your well-being, your life satisfaction, all of that. So one thing that researchers recommend that you do is that when you wake up in the morning, you know, you go to the bathroom, you brush your teeth, you get your water, all of that stuff, maybe do a meditation. But within the first 30 minutes of waking up, take out a pen and piece of paper and just write down three things that you're grateful for early in the morning

Starting point is 00:11:28 so that you set your reticular activating system, which is the filtering part of your brain, to actually find more things that you're grateful for, to actually start to show you that there's so much to be grateful for around you. And so early in the morning, if you just want something very simple to help you be happier, you know, because people, I've been doing this for a long time that I found that people tend to be negative. And so you, it's easy to go down a negative route if you just start that way in the morning. But if you decide to start on a positive route, it makes it easier to be positive the rest of the day. It's like, you know, if you go skiing and you, you're like, do I want to go on this slope or this slope? In the morning you pick, do I want to be down the negative slope or do I want to be

Starting point is 00:12:06 on positive slope? And your actions in the morning will dictate which one you're going to go down for the rest of the day, right? And these don't have to be huge things that you're grateful for. It could be, you know, the sunset that you saw today. It could be the weather was beautiful. It could be that you had a friend do something nice for you today, right? Or it could be larger.

Starting point is 00:12:24 It could be really meaningful relationships that you're grateful for. It could be that you're really fulfilled in your career. It could be that you're really grateful for the health of your family, all of those things. So that's the first thing you do is practice gratitude. Second thing, which is what I was talking about earlier with the Harvard study, is to practice building positive relationships. So like I told you, it's really important, according to the Harvard study, if we want to be happier, that we have great social connections. We have great people around us. And if we want to be happier, we need to be able to find people

Starting point is 00:12:56 who we can be our true authentic self with and feel accepted by them. If you feel like you have to walk into a room and you're supposed to act this way or on this person, you're supposed to act this way or on this person, this way or on this person, that's tiring. What you want to do is find people that accept you for who you are. If you have been on this growth journey for a little while and you've been trying to grow and improve yourself and some people are making fun of your growth journey or they're making fun of what you're focusing on or maybe you're trying to be more positive or maybe you're putting up quotes on Instagram that show that you're positive and somebody's making fun of it, right? That's not the type of relationship that you want. You want

Starting point is 00:13:31 someone that supports you in all areas of your life, no matter how much you're growing, not growing, all of that. And so really what you should do is take out a pen and piece of paper and write down the five to 10 people that you spend the most time with and ask yourself if they're helping you foster a happier life or if they're kind of sending you down the negative slope, right? And just try to start building more positive relationships, right? Focus on the people who are making you feel accepted and loved and stop hanging out with the people who don't make you feel accepted and loved. So that's the next thing. Another thing you can do is cultivate mindfulness. So mindfulness is basically the idea of trying to be in the present moment

Starting point is 00:14:12 and seeing life for what it is. So research has shown that mindfulness can increase your happiness. It can reduce your stress, improve mental health and physical health as well. And there was the Journal of Clinical Psychology had a study and the results showed that mindfulness can improve outcomes for depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and a lot of other conditions as well, indicating that mindfulness helps you with your happiness and your overall well-being. So you can use mindfulness meditation, which involves sitting down quietly and focusing on your breath for a few minutes each day. You could be mindful in the fact of when you notice yourself starting to get

Starting point is 00:14:47 caught up in emotions or starting to get angry or sad or frustrated, that you just take a step back. Maybe you go for a walk. Maybe you go outside. You do six deep breaths. And you just allow yourself to just simply feel the emotion and let the emotion go and process it. A lot of times when we feel an emotion that we might label as quote-unquote negative, we try to force it away

Starting point is 00:15:11 from us or try to not look at it or not feel it or pretend that it's not there. Mindfulness just really means how can we be present to the moment? How can we be present to every emotion? And instead of holding on to negative emotions, just breathing through them and letting them pass through. And so that's what it really comes down to is to notice any thoughts or emotions that arise inside of your body. Don't judge them and just simply observe them. Cool. Next thing is to start pursuing more meaningful goals. One of the things that makes people happier is feeling like they're progressing in life.

Starting point is 00:15:41 If you feel like you're not really happy, one of the questions I always ask people is like, how much have you been growing recently? How much have you been reading? How much have you been finding something that excites you? Have you picked up any new hobbies that you're working on? So when I say pursuing meaningful goals, having those meaningful goals gives you a purpose. It gives you a direction in life. And research has shown that people who pursue goals that align with their values and interests tend to be much happier and more satisfied with their life. And so, you know, try to find some goals. Try to find something that you can work towards. It might be building a business. It might be learning an instrument. It might be getting

Starting point is 00:16:17 better at an instrument that you, you know, used to play when you were young, but you haven't played in seven years, right? So like, what's important to you? What brings you joy? When was the last time that you painted? When was the last time that you went for a run, right? Try to find something that you enjoy doing and set some meaningful goals that align with where you want to be in life. And as you start to feel yourself progressing, it's like Tony Robbins always says, progress equals happiness. You'll find yourself being happier as you start going towards these goals. And then the last one is to practice self-care. When I say self-care, I don't mean like going and getting a massage. All of that's great. I think that that's beautiful. You should. I don't mean getting your hair done, any of that. What I mean by self-care is engaging activities that

Starting point is 00:16:59 promote physical and mental well-being. So examples of this would be exercise, and mental well-being. So examples of this would be exercise, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, going for a walk in nature, reading a book. Schedule time for activities that bring you joy and promote your well-being. So make a happy list. I've said this before. One of my friends years ago was in a deep depression and I asked him what got him out of that depression. And he was depressed for months and months and months. And he asked him what got him out of that depression. And he was depressed for months and months and months. And he woke up one day and he realized that he was so depressed and he didn't know how to get out of it. So he said, what's the opposite of depression? He said, I guess it's happiness. So he's like, what makes me happy? And he made this massive list of every

Starting point is 00:17:37 little tiny thing that made him happy. And then every morning he would wake up and while he was drinking his coffee, he would look at that list and he would say, how can I put as many of these things that make me happy into my day? Right? So how can you schedule time for activities that actually make you feel better, that make you happy? Right? So when you look at happiness, happiness, you know, tons and tons and tons of research

Starting point is 00:17:59 has shown that happiness is not found outside of you. Rather, it's a state of mind that you can cultivate and you can develop, but it takes deliberate effort. And so when you look at happiness, it's a state of mind. It is a subjective experience. It's not dependent on external factors. External factors can help. But if you're like, man, I love baseball and you go to a baseball game and the whole time you want to be pissed, you can still be pissed, right? But you can go to the baseball game and you can experience happiness if you decide to let yourself experience happiness. And so, you know, external factors, sure, you can get wealth, you can get status, you can accomplish things, you can have relationships, and those might help, but none of them guarantee happiness. Research shows that people who are wealthy and

Starting point is 00:18:41 famous and successful are not necessarily happier than those who are not. What research has found is that happiness is a result of one's internal state of mind rather than external factors. So how can you start to be happier now that you know the science of happiness? So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode,

Starting point is 00:19:00 please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at robdialjr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R, so that more people can be exposed to this podcast. I love that I see hundreds and hundreds of you guys share this every single day. So I greatly, greatly appreciate it. And you're a big piece of this podcast growing every single week. So I thank you for that. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission, make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - The Science Of Happiness: How To Be Happier

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