The Mindset Mentor - The Secret For More Peace

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

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Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. If you're out there and you love this podcast and you want some more mindset stuff for you, all you have to do is go to mondayemail.com right now. Once again, mondayemail.com. Every single Monday, I send out an email with extra tips and tricks on how to improve your mindset to improve your life. So if you want that, you can go to the website. It is absolutely free. And I'll email you every single Monday. Today, I'm going to be teaching you something that will bring so much more peace to your life. It will make your life so much easier.

And it's not easy, but it will make your life so much easier. And it's very simple. But once again, with it being very simple does not mean that it's very easy to do. Today is probably going to be a deep episode. So buckle up. I hope you're ready for it. Today, we're going to talk about forgiveness. Now you might be like, oh, fuck, that sucks. I don't want to listen about forgiveness. Cool. Follow me on this journey because I know some of you listening, probably a lot of you listening, still haven't forgiven people for something that they did to you three, four, or five years ago. And you are carrying that with you. And I'm not saying to forgive somebody for their sake, because a lot of times when people have problems with forgiveness, the reason why they have

problems with forgiveness is because they're like, no, that person screwed me over. They don't deserve my forgiveness. No, no, no. I'm not talking about them deserving your forgiveness. I'm talking about you deserving forgiving them because you are continuing to carry that with you and to bring it with you if you are noticing that you are still holding on to something and haven't forgiven them. So let's start off at this place. I believe at the core of every single person, everyone has innocence. Everyone is good. I believe at the core of myself that every single person is good at their core. I don't believe that there's somebody who's born into this world and as a baby,

they're just automatically bad. They automatically steal. They automatically hurt people. I believe, and I'm going to take you on this journey today, that that's somebody who is lost. Anything that takes them away from what is good and the innocence that they have hurts them in some sort of way. And we don't necessarily stay innocent, but our core can still say good. And so when I say we don't stay innocent, things happen. Life happens. You cannot go through this world without some form of a scar. Things happen, trauma happens, society happens, we get kicked in the face, we get scars, all kinds of things. The world happens as we continue to grow up. And what we're all searching for in this world,

in my belief, is inner peace. We're searching for some deep feeling of that just release as, you know, it's like, I remember Ram Dass talking about a guru that he followed said, death is like taking off a tight shoe. And that's what I mean by that. It's like, we have this tight shoe of who we're supposed to be, how we're supposed to be, how we're supposed to act. And then it's just like, oh, it's like that release after you take off a tight shoe. And so what I think we're all searching for is that release, that peace that it feels like when you take off a tight shoe, right? I don't think that we're searching for happiness. I think that we're searching for peace. And the reason why is because I believe that happiness is a fleeting emotion. What do I mean by fleeting emotion? You can be happy right now, you can get a phone call, and it can completely sidetrack your

happiness. You could be gone like that. But peace, peace is a state of being. It is a feeling that is below, at the core, below all of the monkey mind, the thoughts, the happiness, the sadness, the pissed off, all of those things, below all of that is a sense of peace. And I think that's what all of us are actually trying to work towards. And you cannot, this is important, you cannot have peace if you see the world as guilty and bad because you operate in the world every day, all day. You cannot have peace in your life if you see the world and see other people as guilty and bad. This is the reason, the core of my belief of why I think the news is so terrible for humans is because the news perpetuates this thing as if the world is bad, people are guilty, it is unsafe, when I don't believe it's

that way at all. Are there bad things that happen? Are there people that do things? Of course. But what I'm saying is I think that's like 1%, 99% are really, really good. It's probably even higher than 99%. It's like 99.9% are really, really good and 0.1% are just lost. And the key to unlocking peace is to try to, every single day, see the world as more good than anything else and forgive no matter what. Forgive no matter what. And anyone who is bad, if we look at the core of everyone is good. The statement I say at the beginning, we were born into this world good. Anyone who does bad is lost from their true self. It's not who they truly are. It's that they are lost from their true self. They don't actually know what they're doing. They are lost. And so,

anyone who has hurt you is also hurting themselves because they are lost. And to hold any resentment towards somebody who has hurt you only hurts us. It doesn't hurt them in any sort of way. You know, it's like Mark Twain says, anger and resentment is the acid that burns the vessel. When you hold anger and you hold resentment towards someone, it's like holding on to acid. It's not going to hurt them. It's only going to hurt you. And so someone who, let's take for instance, someone who breaks into houses and who steals stuff. At their core, I don't think they actually truly want to do that. Now you might have a different belief. If you do, that's fine. This is just the way that I tend to operate in the world and something that's brought me a whole lot of peace.

Somebody who, and I'll give you a perfect example. Years ago when I had an office and I had sales reps that would come in and stuff, I had somebody come in and in the middle of, I don't know, us being there, us being in and out of the office, somebody broke in in the middle of the day and stole our TV and our Nintendo Wii, if you guys remember the Nintendo Wiis back in the day. And that night I had a team meeting. And I remember if you've ever had somebody break in and steal something from you, it's a very, it's a very weird feeling because you feel not really safe in what was once a safe place. And I remember somebody had mentioned it at the team meeting.

They're like, hey, what happened to the TV and the Wii? Like it's gone. And I said, yeah, somebody stole it today. And they're like, oh my God, like, aren't you pissed? All of this stuff. And I remember just thinking if they stole it, they must need it more than me. And that's what I had said. Oh, they stole it. They must need it more than me. Am I excited about it being stolen? No, but I could get another one. So if they stole it, they must need it worse than me. So take it, I guess. And so somebody who breaks into houses and steals stuff, I don't think the person who stole my TV and the Wii were necessarily somebody who at their core was like, I'm doing something good. Like they know that's not who they want to be. And that could be somebody who, a child who wasn't loved correctly.

It could be somebody, a child who wasn't taught what is right and what is wrong. And if somebody is, if, you know, it's somebody that is hurting and they think that by having it, they will have more peace, but then they realize that thing never brings them more peace. And when you see that that person wants more peace, they're just lost. You can kind of look at them from a place of a little bit more love. I'll give you a great example, right? I can look at my father who was an alcoholic who, you know, died when I was 15 years old and I can resent the shit out of him for all of the things I had to go through when I was a child. Of course I can. And that's my prerogative if I want to hold that stance and be pissed off at him. You know, he died 20, 21 years ago. I can. And that's my prerogative if I want to hold that stance and be pissed off at him.

You know, he died 21 years ago. I can still be pissed off about that if I want to. And some people do do that. And that's fine. That's their choice to be pissed off. But I can also look at that and say, that was someone who was lost. You know, if my father passed away from being an alcoholic, he was someone who was lost. And then I can look at his point of view and realize that he was an alcoholic because he walked into the room minutes after his father shot himself in the mouth with a shotgun when he was 12 years old. And instead of looking at the 48-year-old man who passed away from being an alcoholic and left me in this world without him, I can instead go, you know what?

That was just a 12-year-old kid who never overcame an extremely incredible trauma. And I can have love for him in that case instead of feeling hatred towards him. Whatever choice we decide to choose is fine in that situation. But for me, I just see it as someone who was lost and maybe didn't get the love that they needed to, and they didn't get the therapy that they needed to, and they didn't get the therapy that they needed to, or they didn't change their mindset around it. And so in turn, turned to alcohol and it ended up the way that it ended up. I believe that everything happens for a reason. And so I believe that that happened the way exactly it was supposed to happen. And so don't see the person who did it. See the hurt child that's behind it. And that's kind of

what I tend to go to is when I see someone who's hurting me or acting a certain way or doing this, I tend not to see them as the adult that they are. And I tend to see them as the child that is hurt behind it because at their core, they are good. So if they are hurting someone in some way, they are lost in some sort of way. There was some sort of break from what is right and what is wrong and what is good, I guess is a better way of saying it, and take right or wrong out of it. What is good, their core and who they are, and they broke away from that. There was something, some sort of trauma or some sort of action that made them fall away from that thing.

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love from their parents, and then they have to go search for it in someone else because the next quote-unquote conquest, the next person they get to hook up with, whatever it is, is making them feel in that moment, not actually at their core, like they're getting some love that they never got when they were a child. It is a search for love. It is a search for acceptance. It is a search for self-worth. And so in this world, there is only sanity and there's only insanity. And when I say insanity, I don't mean like mentally, clinically insane. What I mean is sanity is a state where you do, when you're, when someone is in a place of sanity, it is a state where you are doing right for yourself and you're doing right for others. That is sanity. Insanity is a state that hurts others. And so when someone is

hurting others, they are in a state of insanity. And when you hurt others, you only hurt yourself because you carry that wrongdoing with you. So if you look at it, some people might say this a little bit different. Some people might say there's only love and fear in this world, right? So love and fear, love would be sanity and anything that is not love would be insanity. And so everyone is just where they are. Everyone is doing the best with what they have. And so for me, it's very easy when I look at people who fight over political parties and stuff. I've said this many times before on the podcast. If I had, even if I don't believe with someone's views, if I had their exact same life, every single second of my life was exactly the same as theirs, my parents,

people that I talked to, family, if every single second of my life was identical to theirs, I would have the exact same beliefs as them. Because everyone, wherever they are, is doing the best with what they have. If you were in their exact same shoes of the exact same childhood, the exact same parents and raising, you would have made the same choice. If you went through all of those things, you would have made the exact same choice. Someone's actions are always a reflection of their consciousness. And so when you start to think about that, when you hear that someone's actions are always a reflection of their consciousness, you can actually start to see, oh, if someone's actions are bad, that means

their consciousness and what's going on behind the scenes is bad. It is far from where they're lost from that state of good. You know, and it's, if you look at, I can even go and talk about, you know, if you look at Jesus, for instance, whether you believe he was a person who existed, whether you believe it's just a story, whatever it is, whatever you believe doesn't actually matter in this case. But in the story, when he's being murdered, the thing that he says is, forgive them, Father, for they know not what they're doing. And so that's a good example of somebody who understands the consciousness of the people around him. Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they're doing. And so he could see past the actions that were in front of him and what was happening to the consciousness that those people had. So for us, it'd be very, what I'm trying to do more often is to stop seeing

past, to see past what's happening right in front of me and what people present themselves to be and start to see past it and see what the consciousness of that person is. Because people don't know what they're doing most of the time. A sane person would never do those actions. So it must mean that there is some form of insanity. Once again, when I say insanity, I don't mean clinically insane. I just mean that they're lost. They're off the path in some way. And so our truest self would see a sick person that's in need of healing, and the ego sees an evil person that's in need of punishing. So let me say that again, because I want you to really get this in your head. Our truest self should see a sick person. So if someone's hurting us, if someone's doing

these things out in the world, our truest self should see a sick person that is in need of healing. None of this has to do with any religion at all. So I'm not saying healing and they need God or they need this religion or that religion. I'm just saying that they are off of the path. An ego though, so a truest self sees someone that a sick person is in need of healing. The ego sees an evil person that's in need of punishing. Everyone in this earth just wants peace. Everyone is always doing what they believe will bring them happiness or make them feel better. And what you judge and you condemn, you strengthen. What you judge and you condemn, you strengthen. To judge and condemn the thief

then strengthens the identity that they have of themselves as a thief. Think of that for a second. I remember seeing a video one time of a woman who, you know, there's this teenage boy who murdered her teenage son. And at the end of it, when he was convicted, the one whose son was murdered went up to the child who murdered her son and said, I forgive you. That might be the biggest step of forgiveness that a human can do. This child murdered her child and she went up to that child and said, I forgive you. Because what happens is when we judge and we condemn, we strengthen their identification as that thing. So in her case, if she had judged and condemned, she would

strengthen that person's identity as a murderer, which they did murder, but doesn't mean that they have to be a murderer forever. People can change and they can get back on the right path. But to judge and condemn somebody is to strengthen their identification of that thing. Because when I go to somebody and I say, oh, you're a cheater, it then strengthens their identity of themselves as a cheater. It doesn't take them any closer to healing. It actually takes them further away because I am strengthening that thought of themself. So, you know, a thief and a cheater, I don't actually truly believe that they feel good about what they did. They know, their truest self knows that it is wrong. So to judge a person and to label them as a thief strengthens their belief that that's what they are. To judge them and to condemn them for being a cheater strengthens that that's what they are,

which means that they are more likely to do it again, which means that I am just perpetuating the problem by viewing them as that and by saying to them that that's what they are. They see it in themselves and they see it in their thinking and who they are and everything and for an outside perspective to come in and say that to them does not help them heal in any sort of way. But to forgive and to love somebody and to actually, whether you say that to them or not, and you say, hey, I forgive this person, whether that is, let's just say you never even say it to them. Let's say someone cheated on you and you forgive them at your core. And you say, you know what? They were lost. They were somebody who just needed, they needed, their self-worth was low. They're searching for love. They're searching for self-worth. I forgive them. That in turn, even if it's never said to them ever, in my mind, that consciousness shift in your mind starts to

change the world. And that's all that we really need is for more consciousness shifts, not conscious shits, consciousness shifts inside of us to help heal the world a little bit more. So when I say to love and forgive somebody because they didn't know what they did, what I mean is to love and forgive them. They didn't know what they did and loving and forgiving them is actually making change inside of yourself more than anything else. So you're doing the forgiveness for yourself. And if you do that and you take off this little bit of dirt that you've been holding on you for the longest time, it makes you cleaner to go out into the world to actually operate from a better place of consciousness. And in turn,

every single person that you talk to is going to be impacted in a different way by that. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, go ahead and share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. Would love to see what your thoughts are, see where you are watching this and see kind of what you guys share from it. What may be some takeaways that you got away from it. So once again, it's RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode, make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.