The Mindset Mentor - The Story of Struggles

Episode Date: October 9, 2020

Struggle is a part of life, growth is optional. In this episode, we're gonna talk about how to work through everything that life throws at you.Follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/robdialjr Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And last but not least, if you have a large Instagram following or social media following, send me an email right now at rd at robdial.com. I want to talk to you about teaming up and possibly having a partnership. So I think it's going to be something you're interested in. If you have a large social following, send me an email right now, rd at robdial.com. Today, we're going to be talking about, well, actually, I'm not even going to tell you what we're going to talk about. I'm going to tell you a story first. And then from that story,

we're going to extract lessons so that you can remember these lessons for the rest of your life. So there's a man who's in his backyard and in his backyard, he notices, he walks up to a beautiful tree and notices that there's a little tiny cocoon that a butterfly is going to be coming out of. And so he sees in the next couple of days, he watches it. He watches it grow and he watches it struggle and move around a little bit. And then one day, a small opening appears inside of the cocoon. And he sat there and he watches it struggle and move around a little bit. And then one day, a small opening appears inside of the cocoon. And he sat there and he started to watch as this beautiful butterfly was struggling for hours and hours and hours. And it struggled to try to force its body through that tiny little hole until suddenly it just stopped making any progress. And to the man, he looked like it was stuck. And so the man did what he thought was the best idea. He went inside and he got some scissors. So he takes the scissors. He walks up to the cocoon

and he snips it open so that the butterfly can get out. And the butterfly gets out really easily. And, you know, the only problem was when the butterfly gets out, it has some really small shriveled wings and it's got a swollen body. And so he's looking, he's like, this doesn't look right. Like normally they have a little tiny body and then they have these big, huge wings, but it was backwards. It was this big, huge swollen body and these small little shriveled wings. And the man didn't think anything of it. He just sat there waiting for the wings to enlarge, waiting for the butterfly to take off, but it didn't happen. And the butterfly ended up dying. Sorry. Sorry guys. Don't cry about it. The butterfly ended up dying because it wasn't

able to fly away because it had its big, huge swollen body and these tiny little wings that weren't able to support it. And you have to realize the man tried to help the butterfly out of the kindness of his own heart. But what he didn't understand is that the restriction of the cocoon is actually the struggle that's needed for the butterfly to get itself through the small opening as a way to force the fluid from the body of the butterfly to its wings so that the wings can grow and then prepare itself to actually take out and leave the cocoon. So you have to realize the man out of the kindness of his own heart was trying to help

out the butterfly, but what was needed in order for the butterfly to actually grow to its truest potential was the struggle. So what's the moral story of all of this is that our struggle is actually what develops us into who we are. You know, without all the struggles that we have in our life, we're never going to grow. We're never going to get stronger. So it's important for us to look at all of the challenges that come into our life and go, you know what? This is actually something that I need. Do I want to go through it right now? Absolutely not. But when we have these struggles, we actually grow from them. And you've heard me say it before, but if you think about some of the worst times in your life, they're never fun to go through. But those struggles are what make you who you are.

Like after you've gone through the struggles, the breakups and the really bad times or the friend that screws you over, whatever it is, you go, you know what? I wasn't happy going through it, but I had to learn that lesson in order to grow. I had to go through that thing in order to grow. The same way that the only way for the butterfly to actually get its wings to grow and to get the fluid out of its body is to have to struggle through a tiny little hole inside of the cocoon in order to move the fluid because moving the fluid is what actually makes it stronger. It's got to grow through the struggle in order to become stronger. And so there's two aspects I want you to think about when you hear this story. Number one are your own struggles. Think about your own struggles in life. You might be going through struggles right now. And like I said, it's not fun to go through the struggles,

but just imagine it this way. How would you view your struggles differently if you thought that you asked for your struggles? Instead of looking at your struggles as if, you know what? Woe is me. This was done to me. I wish that I didn't have to go through this thing. But instead of looking at it that way, as if the struggles are just placed onto your shoulders and it's a burden, and now you have to figure out a way to work through it. What if you were to look at your struggles and say, you know what? I asked for these struggles. How would your mindset around those struggles be different? Would you still be, woe is me, this is happening to me, I'm so sad about it? Or would you look at it and go,

you know what? I asked for this. I'm going to push through it. Because if you think of the fact that you asked for it, whether you did or didn't, but let's just say, how would your frame of mind change by going, you know what? I asked for these struggles. These are the struggles that I need in order to get myself to the next level. You know, maybe, maybe what happened is when you will go off and you go into sleep, you go off into the dreamland, you talk to God or you talk to the universe or whatever it is, and you make a deal of like, okay, what do I need to get to the next level of my life? I always talk about how I like to think of life as like a video game. If life is a video game, you know that every time you play a video game, it gets harder and harder and harder and harder. But

getting harder is what actually makes you get better, right? Same way with life. Sometimes struggles end up getting worse and worse and worse, but maybe that's there for you to develop into the new version of yourself to go from inside of the cocoon to the actual butterfly. version of yourself to go from inside of the cocoon to the actual butterfly. How would your perspective change on everything if you were to say, you know what? I asked for this. Second thing, if we're talking about your own struggles, number one. Number two, what about other people's struggles? You know, one of the things that's really hard for a lot of people is to see someone that they love go through some pain. And that's never fun to watch. And I always say, be there to support people, but never try to pull their pain and

suffering away from them. Because you have to realize you can help them through it, but they have it and it's for them to go through. One of the things that I see all too often nowadays is, you know, parents of children. I'm not talking about too young of children. I don't hang out with young children, but I'm talking about like my friend's parents or people that are younger than them, maybe in their twenties, whatever it is. The parents always try to coddle the children so much that they don't actually even get used to struggle. And then they got into the real world and they don't know how to do anything because of it. And so if you think about it, maybe the struggle is actually necessary for your loved ones to go through in order for them

to grow. Because imagine if you're not pushing them out of the nest and allowing them to fall and allowing them to mess up, then you're taking away their growth from them. The Mindset Mentor is brought to you by Avast. Avast is a global leader in cybersecurity trusted by over 435 million users. You can shop, work, browse confidently on all of your devices. And since the beginning of 2020, we've seen an increase of 20% in ransomware and scams like phishing. And Avast premium security protects you against all online threats, including viruses, spoofed websites, and ransomware. And Avast Secure VPN encrypts your internet connection no matter what Wi-Fi you're connected to, giving you

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again and just leaves them. And so there's this huge, this baby was massive. It was like a massive baby bird. And it was sitting there. It was trying to, it was getting nervous and it had to jump. And it would go to the branch that's under it. It would jump to the branch that's under bird. And it was sitting there, it was trying to, it was getting nervous and it had to, had to jump. And it, you know, would go to the branch that's under it. It would jump to the branch that's under it and then he walked back up to the nest and they would jump past, go to the branches under it and they walked back up to the nest and he'd go over and over and over and over again. And through doing this, it started getting a little bit of, of strength, a little bit of understanding how to fall and how to do this. And then what happened was then these strong winds would come by and it would put its wings out and it would start to flap its wings

in the strong wind. And it would get just a little bit of strength. Its muscles were grown. Its muscles are grown. Its muscles are grow from going through this. And days went by and days went by and its mother never came back. And the bird's like, you know what? I'm just going to have to do it. And then it had to jump. And when it jumped, it figured it out. And how often do you have people around you that need you to just be there to support them, but not coddle them, to allow them to go through some stuff, to allow them to have emotions,

to allow them to feel pain, not to try to pull the pain away from them, but to be there and support them through the pain, knowing that growth is coming from it. And you wish that you could strip the pain away from people. I get it. But what if that's part of that growth is coming from it. And you wish that you could strip the pain away from people. I get it. But what if that's part of their growth? Think about that. What if it's part of their growth? And what if it's also part of your growth as well? To be able to look at somebody and go, you know what? I wish that I could pull this pain away

from them, but there's nothing I can do. The best thing that I can do is to be here and love and support them. And maybe when this pain comes up for me, the best thing that I can do is to be here and love and support them. And maybe when this pain comes up for me, the best thing that I can do is I can go, you know what? This isn't what I would choose. This isn't what I want to go through. This isn't my perfect life plan. But anytime you get in a car and you go on a long drive, there's going to have to be some detours and that's how life goes. But just as if you were to walk into a gym and do some curls, if you do the exact same curls over and over and over again and only lift 10. If you do the exact same curls over and over and over again and only lift 10 pounds, you're not going to get any stronger. You're not

going to get to the next level of you. And my personal belief is that we're all here to get to the next version of ourself. It's kind of like a goal to go, you know what? How far can I get? How great can I become? I have a tattoo on my wrist and literally it's the Roman numeral 10,000 because they say it takes about 10,000 hours to master something. And I fully believe that. And I have a tattoo on my wrist. I only have two tattoos. I'm not tatted up. I have two tattoos and one of them is the Roman numeral for 10,000 because I think it's going to take a lot longer than 10,000 hours to master myself. I think it's going to be a lifelong thing of something that I have to work at every single day, every single day, every single day. And this

personal growth thing and trying to get better is not a hobby for me. It's a lifestyle. I'm constantly trying to grow and get better and see what the next version of Rob looks like. Are you constantly trying to see what the next version of you looks like? Or are you trying to stay inside of a comfort zone? Because I'll tell you this, growth doesn't happen in the comfort zone. Growth happens when you have to step outside of that comfort zone. Because I'll tell you this, growth doesn't happen in the comfort zone. Growth happens when you have to step outside of that comfort zone and face things that you've never faced before. Just as the same thing that the bird that I'm telling you about, it has to jump out of the nest in order to figure out how to use its legs, how to use its wings a little bit. It has to get strong

winds to come through so they can put its wings out and start to flap, but still keep its legs on the ground so it can grow those wings. Same thing with the butterfly. The butterfly has to go through that struggle in order to grow and to be able to come strong enough. Just as everything that's been placed in your life, just imagine that it's a perfectly crafted curriculum for you to get to the next level of who you wanna be.

Whether you're religious, whether you're not, just imagine it for me. Imagine if God or the universe or something that's out there that says, you know what? This struggle is exactly what he or she needs. And they don't want it, but damn it, they need it. So I'm going to go ahead and give it to them and see how they work through it. Because as I said, the things that you've been through in your life, you wish that they didn't happen. I get it. As you're going through them, you just wish that you didn't have to go through them. But as you look back on them, having gone through them, you go, you know what? Those were not fun to go through. But I see how I had to go through that. I see how I had to go

through that breakup. I see how I had to go through that divorce. I see how I had to have my friend backstab me in some sort of way because everything is a lesson. You just have to be consciously sitting there and go, okay, what can I learn from this? How can I grow from this? It seems like the universe is throwing so much at me. Everyone that I'm around is negative. How can I use this negativity that's coming on and try to put it into a positive mindset and see it as a mental gym that I'm in? Same way I said in the last episode, see it as a mental gym and you're just trying to lift heavier weights. You're just trying to lift heavier weights.

You're just trying to lift heavier weights because ultimately you don't grow by not moving. You don't grow by becoming the same version of yourself every single year. You've got to change. You've got to grow. You've got to evolve. You've got to force yourself to lift heavier weights physically and mentally in order to become better and also emotionally in order to become better. So think of it this way. Everything that is given to you in your life is a perfectly crafted curriculum for you. Yes, you and only you

to go through to grow. And if you think of your life that way, would it change your perspective when you're in the deep, deep, deep moments of your life, realizing that there's something going on and go, you know what? It's not where I wanna be right now, but you can't stay inside of a storm. A storm doesn't stay forever. It eventually passes through.

So this dark moment will pass through. And when I'm in this dark moment, it's going to make the bright moments even better. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share with someone that you know and someone that you love. And I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.