The Mindset Mentor - The Thing Controlling Your Mind

Episode Date: October 28, 2022

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Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, please do me a favor, go on to iTunes or go on to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, however you listen to us and give us a rating and review, the more positive rating reviews that we get on those platforms, the more that those platforms actually show this podcast to people who have never listened to it before,

which then allows us to grow. So if you would like to pay it forward, please, please do so and just give us a rating review and I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Today, we're going to be talking about the thing that is actually controlling your mind. And before I dive into it, I want to go over a couple of quick scenarios, a couple of quick stories and just kind of see which one resonates most with you. I find that humans learn through stories. That's how our ancestors passed on information. So I'm going to tell you a couple of stories and I want you to be like, hmm, I resonate. That makes sense to me. Okay. So what I want you to do is I want you to imagine that you're dreaming. You're in a dream and a tiger is chasing you and it's closing in on you and it's closing in on you. You're running away from this tiger and you look behind

and it's so close to you. Tiger's chasing you and you're running, you're running, you're freaking out. You're like, holy crap, this tiger's about to get me. And then it jumps because tigers are faster than us. It jumps, it lunges at you. And right before it bites you, right in the head, you wake up and you wake up and you're like, you're out of breath. You're sweaty. Your heart rate is like through the roof and you're sitting there, but you realize you're sweating, you're out of breath, your heart raced through the roof, but your body never really moved. None of that was actually real. You were laying in your bed, not moving or probably barely moving a muscle, but you woke up sweaty,

out of breath, heart rate through the roof. How? Explain to me, how is that possible? You ever had that happen before? Or you ever had it where you have a nightmare and you wake up screaming or you wake up crying? You wake up and you realize that the moment you wake up, I've had it before, you wake up and you're like, where the hell am I? And you're like lost as to where you are in this dream. And you're like, was that real? Was that not real? Is that person alive? Is that person dead? Am I in heaven? You can't figure out what it is, right? But your body, your physical body was reacting as if that whole scenario of you dreaming was actually real. You found yourself in that situation before, right? Of course. I'll give you another story. I'll give you a real story.

So a few years ago, my best friend, business partner, Dean, and his sister and I, Sister Darlene and I went to Tony Robbins event. And part of the Tony Robbins event is they do something called the Dickens process. And the Dickens process is to sit there and imagine five years from now, 10 years from now, whatever it is that you have everything that you've ever wanted. You have all of the success, the happiness, the joy, the peace. You have everything, all of the materialistic things you could possibly want. You're changing the world, all of this. And to imagine what it would feel like to have all of that. And once it feels real and it feels potent, what they say is, I want you to imagine that it's

getting further and further away from you. I want you to imagine that it's being stolen from you. Basically, you're trying to imagine having everything you've ever wanted and then all of that being torn away from you. And what they say is they say, I want you to feel what it would feel like to lose it all. I want you to feel what it would feel like to have that all stripped away from you, to know that you had your dream life and it's pulled away from you. And one of the things they do is they say, and I want you to scream the anger that you would have if all of that was taken from you. And you're like, ah, there's so many people screaming. There's like 9,000 people screaming, right? But you're not moving. You're just literally screaming. And so the good thing

is this thing is like 20 minute song, right? Lights turn on and I look over at Dean and he is sweating. And I don't mean like he's sweating like a little bit. He looks like he just took a shower. Like he is covered in sweat. His shirt is literally a different color because you can see it's darker because all the sweat that came through. Like he went through the experience, but he didn't move anywhere. How is that possible for his body to have that reaction when nothing in this physical world actually really even happened? Well, in both cases, and in a couple more cases, I'm going to tell you, in both cases, the visualized future, whether you visualize a lion coming to attack you or,

you know, falling off of a cliff in your dream or whatever might be in your dream, or you visualize on purpose that you have your dream life and it's all taken away from you, the mind created the physical feeling in the body. And you've heard me talk about this before, is that our mind is so incredibly complex that we can imagine a future and we can feel the physical feelings of that future, but also the past, and I'll talk about the past as well, in our body right now as if we're actually experiencing it. I'll give you another example. I'll give you a fun example, my favorite one, because everyone always laughs and they're like, oh yeah, that does make sense. Let's say you're sitting around and you're having a sexual thought,

let's say you're sitting around and you're having a sexual thought, right? Everyone's had it before, but you have an actual sexual thought and you're kind of in it. Your mind, you're thinking about it. It's pretty awesome. This is pretty cool. And then you notice that your body actually makes physical changes as if it is preparing for that sexual event, right? That is the mind controlling the body. The mind controlling the body. The imagined future creates a feeling in the body. You ever been driving to work? All is well, you're driving to work. And then out of nowhere, you're in a traffic jam

and life is great. You're like, this is good. You're listening to like Post Malone or something. You're like, you're my sunflower. You're having such a great fucking time, right? You're having a good morning. Everything is good. You're sipping your coffee and then you're sitting in traffic. You're not even moving and bloop, an email pops up and it's an email from your boss saying, hey, can we meet together one-on-one at 2.30 today? And you're like, what? Meet together? You get shortness of breath and you're to feel really anxious. And you start to think

to yourself, my sales haven't been as good as it's supposed to have been the past couple of months. I was going through all of those things and maybe I'm not performing at the level I'm supposed to be performing at. And your mind starts racing and racing. What if I lose my job? If I lose my job, how am I going to pay my bills? What are my children going to think of me? Are they going to think that I'm a loser and I'm not a great dad? What is my wife going to think of me when I lose my job? And then we lose the house and then we're on the side of the road and we can't afford food. So we're eating grass and you like your mind will go straight to like the worst thing, right? All you did was get an email. What if your boss just wanted to talk about a little bit of change in the product or whatever it is that it might be? But what happened is you can go from having

a great time, listening to some Post Malone, whatever it is it might be, to literally thinking about losing your job, putting yourself through it. And mentally, because you are thinking about it so intensely, you're feeling it physically inside of your body. You're literally beating the crap out of your body when nothing is wrong in this present moment. Let me say that again. When nothing is wrong in this present moment. How many present moments have we ruined by thinking too much about an imagined future or thinking too much about a past that is gone. Many, like many, many, many, we have ruined. And now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp.

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betterhelp.com slash dial. Maybe you're sitting around and you're reading a book on the couch and you're reading this book and it's a novel. It's all good. And you're sitting around and you're reading a book on the couch and you're reading this book and it's a novel. It's all good. And you're really into this book. And then a character reminds you of your boyfriend who cheated on you in the past and you never mended. It was a really bad breakup and he was an asshole and you hated it. Maybe you walked in and your brain, because of the fact that you're reading a book about somebody cheating, your brain immediately goes back and makes a connection to when you were cheated on. Then you go back to that moment when you walked in the door and you saw him and some other woman

and how much of it started thinking about how much of an asshole he was. And you start to get pissed and you're cussing in your mind, like what you would say to him if he was right in front of you. And you're literally like going back to that moment and replaying it and replaying and replaying it. And your body literally takes you back to that moment. And you literally feel in your body the exact same feelings that you felt when you were going through it in that present moment. So you're actually taking a past. How many times have you done this in your life? You take a past that is gone, completely gone, and you're bringing it into the future, excuse me, into the present moment. And you're thinking about it, you're thinking about it, you're thinking about it. And that actually changes your state right now. You're having a great time. You're just reading a book on the couch. You're not doing anything. But then

you ruin this present moment by thinking about something that happened seven years ago. How many times have we all done this? Ruin a present moment because of thinking about a future that doesn't exist and thinking about a past that no longer exists. Because the only thing that actually is real is what is happening right now in this moment. So none of those examples that I gave you, none of them are actually real. None of them are actually happening. Most of them, all of those examples, you're just kind of sitting there. Body's not moving anywhere, but the mind creates the feelings in the body and your mind creates the feelings that you imagine in that future, in that past,

and brings them to the present moment. Whether you that future, in that past, and brings them to the present moment. Whether you're projecting yourself into the past, whether you're projecting yourself into the future, whatever it is, you have to realize you're beating up yourself, you're beating up your body for something that's not actually real. Some people listening to this had something happen to them 10 years ago and they wake up every day and they relive it over and over and over and over again. The past 10 years, the past 3,650 days, they have replayed it over and over and over again. It only happened one time, but it's been happening 3,650 times in their body because they choose to. They're putting their body through the exact same stress. Whether or not they know it, that is a choice. Most people don't choose it

on purpose, but it is a choice to wake up and to choose to put your body through that. Some of you listening, you wake up and you imagine a fake future and you create anxiety and put your body through stress as if it is actually happening. And if you've been listening to this podcast long enough, you know psychologists have found that 85% of what you worry about will never happen. Let me say that again in case you've never heard it before. 85% of what you worry about will never happen. And out of that 15% that will happen, 12% of that 15% will never be anywhere near as bad

as you actually imagine it. Which means, if we do math, that only 3% of your worries line up with what you're worrying about. So if you're a worrier and you worry all day long, one, statistically, one out of 33 things that you worry about will actually come true. How crazy is that? One out of 33 things that you worry about will actually come true. But what you're doing is you're putting your body through the stress, thinking about it,

thinking about it, thinking about it. And when you worry putting your body through the stress, thinking about it, thinking about it, thinking about it. And when you worry, it's like the quote, when you worry, what you're actually doing is going through it twice. You're going through it if it does come true. You're going through when it does happen, but you're also going through it in the present moment. You go through it multiple times. Why would you want to ruin a present moment thinking about a future when 32 out of 33 of those futures, those worries never even actually happen? Let me say that again. 32 out of 33 things that you worry about never actually happen and never will happen the way that you think that it will. Both of those circumstances suck though, don't they? The imagined future and bringing it into the current moment and putting our body through it and the shitty past that we went through before and bringing that. We already

went through it once. Why do we keep going through it over and over again? Bringing it into where we currently are. So it's like you could be cheated on the past like we were talking about and that's painful. But you've heard me say it. I said in the last podcast episode, pain is inevitable. But you've heard me say it. I said in the last podcast episode, pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. There's that pain of being cheated on in the past. The suffering is what you're choosing to put yourself through every single day. Both of the circumstances suck, but you're putting your mind and your body through the extreme choice. But both of them, if you're taking notes, write this down in big, bold, underlined, and highlighted, both of them are a choice. Why don't we imagine something better? What I found with people is that most people, I find myself doing this many, many times, and I've tried to

reprogram myself over and over and over again. It's much better now, but of course I still dip into it. I'm not perfect, not even close. Why don't we imagine something better? Most people spend their time worrying and thinking about things that they don't want. They spend the majority of their thoughts about things that they do not want. That doesn't sound fun. Why don't we start thinking about what we do want? When we notice ourself not feeling very good, feeling stressed, anxious, worried, we ask ourself, what am I thinking about? What am I thinking? Because the thoughts are creating the feelings in my body. What am I thinking about that's making me feel this way? Oh, I'm thinking about my boss in the email that he sent. I'm thinking about my ex when he cheated on me seven years ago and how bad that felt.

What am I thinking about? And then you stop. Now you're self-aware. Then you ask yourself, what do I want to think about? What's inspiring to me right now? What am I motivated by? What am I grateful for? What future could I imagine? Oh, I'm building this business. And I, you know, we just had our first sale. Oh my gosh, I can't wait. So that was our first sale in a day. I can't wait till we get to a hundred sales a day. What would it feel like to be at a hundred sales a day? How exciting would it be to know that you created financial freedom for your family and so much so that you're able to take your parents over to Europe and you're able to travel with them to Italy and Spain and they can see where

they come from and their roots. They've never been there before. How amazing would it feel to take your parents on that trip and they'd be able to experience the roots and you were the person that was able to create that for them for their hard work? How proud of yourself would you be? Man, that shit feels way better than thinking about a fake future. If the future is fake anyways, I might as well imagine one that makes me feel good, right? You go, oh, but I'm being quote unquote realistic. Really? Well, you're actually not being realistic because 32 out of 33 things that you worry about never happen anyways. Not the way that you think they're going to. So that's actually completely unrealistic. So why don't I imagine something that seems at least a little bit more fun? Why don't I make my, why don't I imagine like I'm four years old again and that anything is possible and I can imagine

about this amazing future that I'm creating and then my life is going down. I'm on that path because what you focus on, you're more likely to create. You're going to create over and over and over again what you focus on. And so what we need to do to remove ourself from suffering, to remove ourself from what is controlling our mind is to stop thinking about things that don't seem fun, that don't seem awesome, the future and the past, and start reminding ourselves of the future that we are creating and what we're trying to make our lives into. And from there, allow those feelings into our body and motivate us to actually work towards that thing that we're perceiving into our future. Because either way, you're going to create the

future that you're imagining. So you might as well create a good one. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And once again, if you love this podcast, go ahead and follow the podcast on Instagram as well. That is The Mindset Mentor Podcast. Once again, The Mindset Mentor Podcast. We put a bunch of clips in this podcast, but also some behind the scenes and some unreleased stuff as well.

So go ahead and follow us in there. And we'll leave it the same way we leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and hope that you have an amazing day.