The Mindset Mentor - This is Reason for All of Humanity's Issues

Episode Date: January 8, 2020

Want to know what is at the core of all of your issues? In this episode, I will tell you what it is and give you the simple strategy to get past it!Follow me on Instagram and tag me in your stories @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode of this podcast. Today, we're going to be talking about where all of your problems stem from. I was on a call with one of my clients earlier today and decided to dive into this topic just because it's so pertinent for pretty much probably every single person listening to this podcast, including me, the person actually giving the podcast. And there's a quote that I told him, and I'll start off with this quote. And the quote is, all of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

So think about that for a second. It's really true. All of man, all of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. So the question I have for you is do you have a problem sitting still? Do you have a problem just doing absolutely nothing? Do you get bored very easily? Do you always feel like you constantly have to be doing something? Do you? Think about that. Ask yourself and be really honest. Do you feel like you have to be looking at your phone or talking to someone or you have to be on the computer or you have to go for a walk or you have to work out or you have to do something? Or could you sit in a room by yourself doing absolutely nothing with your eyes open, you don't have to be meditating, for three hours? Could you do that or would it

be really hard for you to do? You know, I did a few years ago, a couple years ago, about a year and a half ago now, I did a 10-day silent meditation retreat. It's called Vipassana. So I literally sat in a room by myself most of the time and meditated for 10 hours for 10 days straight. And it's a silent meditation, so you can't talk to people. You can't even look people in the eyes because you don't realize how much you actually talk with your eyes. You can't journal. You can't read. You can't do yoga. You can't work out. The only thing that you can do while you're awake is you can either be meditating in the hall, the meditation hall, in your room, or you could just be outside. And what happens is the first two days are really slow. They're so, so, so, so, so slow. And a lot of people, not a lot of people, some people actually give up. Some people actually

left. A few of the guys that were there actually left because there's the guy's side, there's a woman's side. You don't even come in contact with the opposite sex. And you realize that being alone and doing absolutely nothing, alone with your thoughts and only your thoughts can be really, really hard. And so I want you to think about that. Do you think that you have a problem? I bet that most people do. And if you do, I have a question for you. If there's a problem with being bored too often or not being able to sit alone quietly, what are you running from? Think about that. Are you running from something? Are you running from your thoughts? Are you running from your past? Are you running from your traumas? Are you running from your lack of self-worth? Are you running from your past? Are you running from your traumas? Are you running from your lack of self-worth?

Are you running from the fact that you're not happy with your life? Are you running from the fact that you're not where you want to be in life? Are you running from the fact that you're still resenting your parents for the way that they treated you? There's a bunch, I mean, there's a million things that you could be running from. But I want you to honestly think about that. Think about that for a second. Are you running from. But I want you to honestly think about that. Think about that for a second. Are

you running from something? And if you are, what is it? What is the thing that you're running from? Because see, really the truth of the matter is that therapy, going to therapy, is dealing with things that you have not dealt with yet. You know, for 99% of people who go to therapy, it's really about dealing with things that you have not dealt with yet. Or first off, becoming aware of things or patterns or habits or traits that you have, that you have not yet identified so that you have not been able to deal with yet. So sometimes it's not that you're running from something, it's that you don't even know what you're running from yet

because you haven't given yourself downtime. Think about that. What is it? What is it that you're running from? Are you running from something? Because if you dealt with whatever it is that you have, then therapy probably wouldn't be needed for most people, right? I think that therapy is

incredible. I think that everybody should go to therapy at some point in time because most of us have something that we're running from or something that we haven't dealt with yet or something that we need to identify first before we can actually start to work with. So how do you keep yourself distracted? Is it your phone? Are you on your phone too much? Facebook? And this is why Facebook and Instagram and TikTok and all of those things are so addictive is because they are so addictive of keeping us away from having to deal with whatever we're running from. So is it your phone? Are you on the internet? Are you on YouTube too much? Do you watch too many YouTube videos? I can say I probably watch too many YouTube videos. I need to get better at that. Are you addicted to sex? Are you addicted to alcohol? Are you addicted to work?

For me, that was the biggest one for me. I was addicted to work. Are you addicted to working out? Are you addicted to eating? What is it that you do? How do you occupy your time versus just sitting there quietly? What is it? Do you feel like you need to be distracted most times? You know, when people, I tell people about the 10 day meditation that I did, they're like, oh my God, I can never do that. I would be so bored. And I was like, what's the problem with boredom? Have you ever thought about that? Have you ever thought about it? Why do you feel like you need to be distracted? How do you distract yourself? Because the natural state of a human, if you go back 150, 200,000 years ago, is not constantly being distracted. That's not the natural state

of a human. That's actually not the natural state of any animal that's alive. If you look at the most, you know, the fastest land animal that exists, which is the cheetah, right? The cheetah, 99.9% of its day is spent doing pretty much nothing, hanging out, sitting under a tree in some shade. And then 30 seconds of its day, it takes off and it goes for something. And then maybe the next 30 minutes it's going to be eating. But that means that the 23 and a half hours of the rest of the day, it's not doing anything. No animal is constantly distracted all day long, but we are constantly distracted all day long. And with technology, the reason why technology is so addicting is because it allows us to be more addicted, to find more ways to be addicted.

Oh, I got to get to work. Oh, I got to do this with my phone. I got to get my computer. I got to answer emails. I got to go on Facebook. I got to go on Instagram. I got to do this. I got to do this. I got to do this. And then when I go home, what do I do? I turn on the TV and I got to turn on the TV and make sure I distract myself a little bit more. What if you went home and you just didn't turn the TV on and you just went and you were silent for a few hours? So why do you feel like you need to be distracted? And how are you distracting yourself? Because that's not your natural state. If I look at my dog, Toby, I mean, Toby is number one.

He's also like the laziest dog in the world. But even if you were to take the most hyperactive dog, even if they're hyperactive, the majority of their day is spent doing nothing. But the majority of our day is spent literally doing something, finding something to distract ourselves from our thoughts. And we all have this issue. Every single person has this issue where there's something that we're running from, something that we haven't gotten time to deal with, or we haven't allowed ourself time to deal with. And what I think is that people are afraid of what they could find.

People are afraid that they might think about death. People are afraid that they might think about their own death or they might think about their parents' death or, you know, that that might be coming up or that their dog might be dying in the next few years. They might be thinking about, they might have something come up about unhealed trauma. They might have something come up about, you know, the death of someone that they love a year ago that they never fully let themselves grieve. Because what happens, a lot of times when somebody dies, we try to distract ourselves as much as possible so that we don't have to process it.

So I want you to really think about this today. Are you running from something? And if you are, what is it? What are you running from? And why are you running from something? And if you are, what is it? What are you running from? And why are you running from it? Because ultimately we all have a, you know, bright side. We all have a dark side, but a lot of times we try to stay away from our dark side, not realizing that most of our lessons are in our dark side, in our dark thoughts, in our dark memories, in our dark traumas. And for me, you know, when I did my 10 day meditation, there was a lot of shit that came up that I didn't realize was actually there.

There was a lot of it. And this is one of the things you guys have heard me talk quite a bit about psychedelics in the past, you know, a few months or so. And whether you want to do them or not, it doesn't matter. But one of the things that I've come to realize from doing them myself and having a lot of friends who have done them and hearing their stories and helping them work through their stuff as well, is that there's a lot of stuff that lies dormant that isn't fully processed. You know, I have a friend who is down and did some psychedelics and he thought that he had completely healed all of his trauma that he had with his mom. He's got an incredible relationship with his mom, but it wasn't that way when he was younger. And what happened? He realized that he has a lot

of anger still towards his mom and that he needs to process it and talk to her about it. But he thought because he's an adult now, he's in his forties, he thought, you know what? I don't need to process. There's no reason. I forgive her. I understand why she did what she did. I understand the way that she was. I understand why all of those things happened. And you know what? I forgive her. He didn't know that he was still holding onto a lot of stuff until he was able to get very still and focus his mind hardcore on something. And this is not me saying that you should go and do this. I'm just telling you this as someone else's story of what I know has happened. I've seen many people over and over and over again, have this happen in this exact same way where they think they've processed through things, but they really

haven't. You know, for me, I think about, you know, all of the things that I went through with my dad being an alcoholic when I was younger, all of that stuff, all of the anger, all of the trauma from it, my dad passing away when I was 15 from being an alcoholic, all of the anger, all of the trauma from it. And then as I started to meditate more and get more silent and do some psychedelics and do some more meditating and go on these retreats and spending more quiet time, I realized there was actually some stuff that I hadn't dealt with. And so I want you to think about this today. Do you constantly have to be moving? You know, these are a few questions I want you to ask yourself. Write them down. Process it. Think about it. Am I always on the move? Do I have a problem with

boredom? Do I have a problem with silence? Do I have a problem with meditation? Am I running from something? What am I running from? And if I don't know what it is, can I start to think about that? Maybe when you're on your drive tomorrow, today, you're on your drive back home from work, think, am I running from something? And really challenge yourself. Try to find one hour this week, not even three hours, just one hour this week alone. And find time where you can sit quietly by yourself. You don't have to meditate.

You don't have to have your eyes closed because meditation seems to be very hard for people because of this exact reason. They think that their brain is hyperactive, but really what they're trying to do is they're trying to distract themselves. Their brain is trying to distract themselves because we are addicted to distractions. So let's say that you go to work and you're like, you know what? I've got a family. I've got kids. I know that when I go home, I'm going to be fully distracted. I'm going to take my lunch break. I'm going to eat my lunch at my desk and I'm going to go out to my car and I'm going to sit there for an hour and I'm just going to stare and I'm just going to look at the sky and I'm going

to think about my life and I'm going to think about the world and I'm going to think about what I love and what I don't love and what happened in my past. The people who I've loved, the traumas that I might have, the times that I was bullied as a kid, the people who died, the people who mistreated me, my heartbreaks, all of the things that could have happened in my past and go, you know what? Have I fully dealt with these? And is there anything that I'm running from? Because I guarantee you, whether you realize it or not, I've worked with tens of thousands of people. We all have something that we're running from. And a lot of times we don't even know what it is. And so you have to give yourself the space to be able to get clear in your mind, to think. And if nothing else, if you can have the practice of getting an hour by

yourself, not even going, you know what, I'm going to meditate because meditation is so hard for so many people. I'm just going to sit in a room quietly by myself with no phone, with nothing. And I'm just going to sit. I'm not even going to journal. I'm not going to write anything down. I'm just going to sit and allow myself to exist because simple existence can be extremely hard for us. So that's what I got for you for today. I want you to think about that. I want you to process that. I want you to go, you know what? Maybe I am running from something. Maybe I should take an hour today to just sit quietly and just see what comes up. Because every person I've ever talked with about this goes, oh my God, I didn't realize how hard it was for me to just sit quietly. And then you start processing,

why is it so hard? Where did it come from? What am I not dealing with? Because as the quote says, all of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love. I actually have been loving seeing all of the Instagram stories that you guys have been putting up

and you've been tagging me in. So if you are listening to the show, you're driving down the road, you're hanging out, you're at the gym, whatever it is, go and tag me in it of you listening to it. And you could see all of the people that I've been reposting. And my Instagram tag is just Rob Dial Jr. So Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I would love to see you guys' faces. What's cool is you guys can hear me, but I can't hear you. I can't see your faces or anything like that. So if you would spread the love that way,

I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. And if I see it, I'll repost it. So with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.