The Mindset Mentor - This Perspective Will Change Your Life

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

In this episode, we're talking all about how your perspective shapes your reality – seriously, it's wild stuff! From personal anecdotes to powerful concepts like "pronoia" (trust me, you'll wanna hear about this!), we're unpacking how every challenge, every obstacle, is actually a chance for you to grow and thrive.And hey, I get it – life's not always rainbows and sunshine.  But what if I told you that even the toughest times can lead to the most incredible transformations? we'll chat about breaking free from stress addiction and embracing those feel-good vibes like oxytocin and serotonin. Because who doesn't wanna feel like a million bucks every day, am I right?Don't forget to spread the love by sharing this episode – together, we're creating a world where positivity reigns supreme!My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast, the number one mindset podcast in the entire world, thanks to all of you out there that are listening. If you're the type of person who knows that you need to improve yourself to improve your life and you want to learn and grow and continue to keep improving yourself, go ahead and subscribe to this podcast. I put out episodes four times a week to help you grow, improve yourself so that you can make your life better. Today, I'm going to be teaching you a perspective that could absolutely change your life. It could make your life way more positive. And it's wild. I'm glad that I chose mindset and I got so obsessed with it when I was younger.

It's because the older that I get and the more that time goes on, the more that I realize that it is the most important thing that we could focus on. Our mindset, the way that we look at ourselves, the way that we look at our lives, the way that we look at other people around us influences every single aspect of our life. And really what we're doing when we talk about mindsets, we're talking about perspectives, looking at something different than maybe the way we've looked at it our entire life. And if we can look at something a little bit differently, you know, it's like Wayne Dyer's phrase, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

And it's such a simple phrase, but it's really profound if you think about it. When you change the way that you look at things, the things that you're looking at change. And so you really start to understand that perspective of your life, perspective of your challenges, perspective of yourself, perspective of the people around you, and what perspective you're looking at, what lens you're looking at the world through might be the most important thing that you could pay attention to. And so today I'm going to talk about the idea of what if, and I want you to come on a journey with me and just try this out for a day and just see if it changes your perspective on life, okay? We're gonna talk about how the world is conspiring

to make your life amazing. The world is conspiring to make your life better every single day. Now, it might not be giving you all of the best things, but it might be giving you challenges so that you can grow, so that your life can become better because of your growth. You know, we've all heard the phrase paranoia before, right? Well, and that's like the idea of like the world is out to get me. Everybody's out to get me and everyone is out to get that person who's paranoid. Well, there's also

a phrase that is the exact opposite of paranoia and it's actually called pronoia. So instead of looking at the lens of the world being against you, you're looking through the lens of the world being for you, as everything that will ever happen to you is for the greater good of you and for the greater good of the world. And so pro-noia was actually coined by a sociologist named Fred Goldner in the 1980s. And it's derived from the Greek words pro, which means in favor of, and noia, which translate roughly basically to the mind. So pro-mind, everything is working towards you and your betterment. And so I understand that it can sound really naive and overly idealistic to be like, oh my God, everything is perfect. It's, it's, and it's,

let me take a step back. It's not even everything's perfect. It's everything is, is perfectly out there to make the world better for me and make my life better. It seems naive and it can seem naive. But then when you start to think about it, it's all about really holding a mindset of making sure that you are proactively positive. Like you are proactively positive. Like you are proactively positive. When I say proactively positive, it doesn't mean ignore the negative. It means look at the negative through a different perspective and see if you can turn that negative into something positive. It's about understanding that no matter what, there's always going to be positive. There's

always going to be negative in life. But maybe the things that we're viewing as negative are actually chances for us to grow and improve. Maybe there is a silver lining to every dark cloud. It's a way of looking at the world and saying, okay, yeah, I've got this obstacle that's in front of me and it does suck and it's not what I want right now, but it's a chance for me to be able to grow. It's like the book, The Obstacle is the Way. Instead of going around the obstacle, you go through the obstacle. The obstacle is there for you. And it's really looking at the world and looking at everything and trying to find the benefit for you in every single situation that happens to be good. Also, every single situation that happens to be bad. And you know,

when you really take a look at these things, it really, if you, if you really search and you try to find the positive and the benefit and everything, you can find it. And a lot of times, some of the best things that have happened to you years ago were the worst thing that ever happened to you. Right? So like I always tell people like, and I've said this before on the podcast, the best day of my life and the worst day of my life were the same day. And that was the day that my dad died.

And it was the worst day of my life because he was the first person that I ever knew that passed away. But it was the best day of my life. And obviously it was worse because, you know, there's a lot of other things like my dad died, right? There's a lot that goes with that. It makes sense why it was the worst day of my life. But on the best day of my life, it wasn't the best because I wanted him to die. That's not the reason why was because the entire course of my life changed. My perspective of life completely changed when I was like, Oh my God, this is going to end. Like mine is going to end one day too. And I need to do everything I can to get the best out of it. And I remember about three weeks after my father had passed away, we were driving the car and my mom had asked, I had my learner's permit.

So I was driving the car. My mom was next to me. We're at stoplight. We're at a stoplight in Sarasota. I still remember exactly where it was. It was at Procter and 41 for anybody who lives in Sarasota. And I was at Procter and 41. I was at the stoplight.

My mom said, hey, so now that's been a few weeks, like, what do you think about your father's passing away? And I was 15 years old. And I remember saying to her, I think that if dad were to know how much good were to come from this, he would be okay with passing away. And I don't know where it came from. It's like I wasn't even that kid. It was just some bit of wisdom, I guess, came through that 15-year-old kid.

And I would not do what I do now had my dad not passed away. Now, we can look at those things and be like, oh, my dad was an alcoholic. He passed away. And I can look at that and I can say, I could find all the negative in it. Of course I could. Or I could say, you know what? I'm going to take this thing that sucks, that I don't want it to be what it is, and I'm going to make this one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

And so I think it's about looking at life. And you could probably do this as well. You could probably look back to something that was a really freaking hard time in your life, seven, eight, 10, 15 years ago. And you can look at it and be like, going through it was one of the worst things that I've ever gone through. And I would never want to go through it again, but I would never go back and change it because you changed and you grew and you learned by growing, going through those things. So if that's the case, it's easy to see that the best things in life are for us. But if that's also the case, we could also see that the worst things in life are also for us, right? And so going through those challenges is never easy, but are you

grateful for them now? Of course you are. You're so grateful for them now. And so all of your life experiences, whether they're good or whether they're bad, it's not always easy to go through things. Like life is tough and life is, it's, it's amazing sometimes and it's hard as hell other times. And it's a struggle other times, right? But it's easier, way easier if you know that something great will come from it. You know, about almost two years ago now, and I've shared this before on the podcast, but it's another idea just into my mind and the way I try to look through it, look at things, and I try my best to look at things this way.

And do I, am I perfect at it? No. Do I, am I better than I ever have been? Yes. Do I still struggle? Yes. So I'm human. But I remember about two years ago now, our dog Toby passed away. He was 13 and a half years old. And then our vet knew Toby very well. And we had to take Bear, our other dog in. He was a puppy at the time, to go and get fixed. And the doctor had to come in after he knew that Toby

had passed away four days earlier. And he had to have the conversation with me of like, hey, I've got to put bear under, you know that there's risks associated with this. And I was like, yeah, I get it. And it was like nine hours until we heard from the doctor. And I was just having such a rough week with Toby passing away. And I thought to myself, as I'm waiting to hear from the doctor, I don't want anything to happen to bear, but I trust so much in God or the universe or life or whatever it is that's out there that if something were to happen to bear, it is something that I'm supposed to learn.

I'm supposed to grow from, but I just really don't want to learn a fricking lesson this week. Right. I've already learned lessons this week from, from everything we told me. I don't want to learn another lesson. Right. And so that was like the, the thing that was going through my head of like, just having faith, just having trust of just like whatever happens is supposed to happen. And I can be okay with that. And it, it, it brings so much besides being a positive mindset and helping with that and finding the best in things. It also just allows you just to trust a little bit more and like let go of so much control and wanting to force things and control things. And always, and we, cause we can't control these things. Like we're not in control of

that. Whatever happened with bear wasn't in control of, you know control of. Could I have said, no, don't fix him? Of course I could say that. But once it happens, it happens. And so it's really just like the letting go sometimes, which I have found over the past few years has really brought a lot of peace to my life is not trying to control everything and just trying to let go. When you look at the people in your life too, there are people in your life that you love and they're amazing. And they teach you lessons, many lessons in life of how to be more loving, how to be more open, some difficult things as well. But you know, they, they teach you, they're there for you to learn and grow and improve. And, and, and there's also other people in your life that are very freaking difficult, right? And those people who challenge you and who trigger you are actually a gift for you as well.

Because if I am triggered by somebody, it is showing me where I'm not free. I am still mentally hung up in that place because whatever triggers me, if somebody says something and it triggers me, that person could say the exact same thing to somebody else and it would not trigger that person, which shows that it's not the actual thing that's being said. It's me. Right. And so when we're triggered, I've said this before, instead of wanting to punch somebody who triggers you, you should give them a high five because they're actually helping you understand where you are not free. You can hate them if you want. That's completely your prerogative. If that's what you want to go and you want to hate them. Or you can thank them and be like, this is, this is, you are showing me where I'm not free. This is the universe, God, whatever

it is, coming to me through this person that's really pissing me off so that I can see where I'm not free. Right? So it's the universe coming to you through them to help you see where you're not free. And it is an opportunity for growth. Oh my gosh, thank you for pissing me off so much because it's showing me where I still need to improve. And there's a lot of those places, right? And you know, like, and I get it because someone in my family has paranoia disorder. And he's had it since he was little and he's always thought that the world was out to get him to the point where even one of my aunts has told me when she was a little girl, um, she

went trick or treating with him. And, uh, you know, he was in his, I think he's like 11 or 12 years old. And, um, he had her, he'd had mapped out the entire neighborhood on a piece of paper and said, hey, write down what you get, what piece of candy you get from every single house, just in case someone tries to poison us. And so he's always kind of had this paranoia disorder. And that's a disorder. And it's something that he has to deal with every single day. And obviously I'm not talking about us being that. But what I'm saying is, what if we could try to change our thought process to be a little bit more positive, a little bit more like we can we can really get addicted to a thought process like we can get addicted to a thought process.

You know, someone might not have paranoia disorder, but, you know, somebody can get addicted to the thought of the world is out to get me. Now, how do they get addicted to that thought? Well, when I think something specifically, my body's going to create very specific chemicals, right? So in this case, if it's something that is very stressful, a very stressful thought, my body is going to release adrenaline and cortisol, adrenaline and cortisol, adrenaline and cortisol. And we can become addicted to the thought process because we become addicted to the chemicals that it creates. And so really what it comes down to is I could become addicted to those chemicals of adrenaline and cortisol and stress. And there was a point in my life about six years ago where

I was like, man, I think I might be addicted to stress. You know, I started unraveling all these places in my life where I made things more stressful. I drank way too much caffeine because it would get me all stressed and amped up in order to do things, right? And so it's like, we can get addicted to those. And I realized like, man, I might be addicted to stress. And I started unraveling that and working through it and trying to remove myself from it. So if we can get addicted to the feelings and the chemicals running through our body of adrenaline and cortisol,

and when we don't have it the next day, we want it again, we can also start to shift. And it's not like an overnight thing, but it's something to be very aware of and say, OK, yeah, if I am addicted to stress, maybe I should have less coffee. Maybe I should try to set up my life to be more peaceful. Maybe I should stop hanging out with people who are just like, obviously, some people trigger you and you learn from it. Some people are just toxic. Maybe I should stop being around toxic people, right? But we could also become addicted to other chemicals as well. We can become addicted to serotonin, which is a feel-good chemical and feels amazing. We can become addicted

to oxytocin and actually want those to feel, and that's the feeling of love and the cuddle chemical they call it, right? So we can start to feel what feels normal inside of our body. And for a lot of us, stress and anxiety and adrenaline and cortisol feels normal to us. And we might not want anymore, but it feels normal. And then we can go, you know what? What would feel better though, is if I could start to work on myself and get my, the normal feeling within myself to be oxytocin, to be serotonin, to be dopamine, the feel good chemicals that I want. I don't know about you guys, but I would love to feel good more every single day. And so then you start to ask yourself, like, how do you do, how do you do

that? And so for me, one of the things that I realized that was really making me stressed was I always was thinking about the next thing I would wake up. And basically from like the moment that I wake up, I would, I would just think about all of the shit that I had to do and all of the stuff I wanted to be done. And I would immediately go into it and I would try to meditate. And when I would meditate, I would just think about all of the stuff that I had to do and everything that I needed to do and all of that. So I was like always on the go, always trying to do something and always trying to get moving. So then I was like, what is the, what's the difference of that? Of like the difference of not feeling good where I am because I had to be somewhere else mentally, physically,

all of that. As I was like, I just need to be grateful for what I have. And so I've shared this in the podcast before, but one of the things that I've been doing a lot recently is I'll do my morning routine and it's not crazy. There's not 74 things that I do. I wake up, I go to the bathroom, I drink water, I do breath work, I meditate. And usually that's about it. And then some days I'll read, some days I'll journal. A lot of days what I do is I just go outside with my coffee and I just sit in silence and I just sit and just think about all of the things that I have to be grateful for. And I just try to bring up and I start thinking about challenges I've had in my life and I could be grateful for them in the house that I live in and, you know, my wife and my family and the

health that I have and people around me have and, you know, the weather sometimes. And it's, it's kind of crazy. I'm going to say this, but it's kind of nuts, but there's some moments, some days where I'll just sit outside and I'll start tearing up while drinking my coffee. Cause I'm so fucking grateful for everything that I have. Now, when I feel that good, FYI, those are the chemicals of serotonin. Those are the chemicals of oxytocin. Those feel really good. And when you feel them, guess what you want more of? Those. So then you start saying, what did I do to make myself feel that way? And how can I start doing it more? And so what I think it comes down to is how can you start to cultivate gratitude in your life?

And, you know, having the steps, starting taking the first steps towards pro noia is just the, the, the feeling of like, man, everything has worked out for my benefit. And if I really zoom out and look at my life, I can be like, holy shit, this thing is kind of perfect. How everything has fallen in place to get me to where I am. And you might not be where you want to be yet. And that's fine, but you can still be grateful for where you are. You can be grateful for the journey. You can be grateful that, you know, 150,000 people didn't wake up yesterday and you woke up today. That's something to be, that's the biggest thing to be grateful for. If you can't find anything, that's something huge to be grateful for. So can you find three or five things that just make you feel grateful inside of

your body, inside of your mind? And can you start to shift your perspective that when you have a challenge come up in your life, acknowledge that this might actually be an opportunity for you to grow and get better. This might be the universe coming to you to help you get stronger so that you can be better later on in life, rather than see it as something that's a setback. And so you can start to see with pro noia just the world as a friend and not really as an enemy. Each challenge that we have gives us a chance where we can learn, we can grow, we can evolve, we can get better. And so if we can start to see our obstacles through that lens, it can really transform our response to whatever challenges or adversities or perceived adversities

that come up to us. And so really what it is and what I want to challenge you to is why don't you just try for today or for this week, just thinking to yourself, what if everything is perfect? It's all working out for my good. And maybe instead of being paranoid that things are going wrong, what if I just be pro-noia and just think, man, every single thing from the best thing that's ever happened to me to the worst thing that's ever happened to me is given to me for my greater good so that I can grow, evolve

and become the best version of myself. If you just shift your perspective in that way, your life will change. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, if you love this podcast, please do me a massive favor. Just share this somewhere, share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The reason why is because this podcast, we don't have any huge company behind us backing us, putting up ads, any of that type of stuff.

The only way this podcast grows is from you guys sharing it. And the way that we can continue to impact more people in this world is getting more eyes on it. And that would ultimately pay it forward. And also the same time allows to impact more people's lives. So if you would do that, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.