The Mindset Mentor - Transform Your Life: The Power of Mindset Shift for Lasting Change

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode. If you're out there, you live in the United States or Canada and you want to get inspirational text messages from me, text me right now 512-580-9305. 512-580-9305. Today, we're going to be talking about a really big key to make massive changes in your life. And to start off, I want to give you an analogy and see if this hits home with you, okay? Let's say that you have someone, we'll call them person A, who you've never never really liked you don't necessarily hate them they're not necessarily an enemy but they're not

Starting point is 00:00:48 necessarily someone who you've been close to and they need your help but at the exact same time your best friend needs your help so person A they've never really been there for you they've never helped you they've never offered you any help in fact you're not really sure if you like them. Person B, on the other hand, is someone who's been there for you for years. They've had your back. They've come to your side whenever you need them. And at the same time, they both need your help. Who are you more likely to actually take your day and your time and invest it into? Who are you more likely to go and help if you could only pick one? Well, the answer is very simple. You're going to

Starting point is 00:01:32 go pick the person who you love. You're going to go pick the person who's been there for you, who's always had your back, who's loyal and you can trust. And this is a big key in today's episode. And let me explain how I see most people try to change. And I made this mistake for a long time in my life. So you can take, you can learn from my mistakes, okay? People wake up, like this is an example. People wake up one day, they look in the mirror and they're like, what the fuck happened to my body? And they become disgusted with their body. They look and they're whatever it might be. They're overweight. They've got roles.

Starting point is 00:02:08 They don't like the way that they look. They start to just really like pick out all of the things that they hate about their body. And in turn, they start to kind of become disgusted with their body. They hate their body. And this disgust turns into frustration. their body. And this disgust turns into frustration. And for some people, that disgust and frustration leads to a cycle of shame, a cycle of guilt. And so what do they do? They're like, you know what? I need to change because I don't like the way that I look. I don't like this body. I hate the way that I look. Have you ever done this before? Many, many people have. And so what do they do?

Starting point is 00:02:42 They work out to try to change this thing that they hate. They eat differently for a little while to try to change this thing that they hate. They push hard to try to change this thing that they hate. And they often focus on punishing their body because they hate their body. It's just like this, I got to change this damn thing. And they push themselves harder than they have before in the past. And don't get me wrong, this can work. This is literally how I spent like the first 30 years of my life, I feel. I've done it before. But the problem is it comes from a place of so much negativity and so much hate. And you can change something that you hate. You can change something

Starting point is 00:03:22 by struggling. You can change something by force, by being negative, but it doesn't really sustain. You can't really do it for a long time. It doesn't, in all honesty, it doesn't feel good. And the energy around wanting to change something that you hate and change something like you're just disgusted with, the energy around that is really heavy. And it usually leads to burnout. It requires a lot of energy to get yourself up and to force yourself to change because you hate your body or whatever it might be. And this is why a lot of people tend to give up. It's just very natural. A lot of people will start to work out. Oh my God, it's January 1st. I want to change my life. I need to get in shape. And then they're like, I hate this. I hate this. I'm going to do this. I don't like the way

Starting point is 00:04:09 that I look. They work out, they come home, they take a shower, they look at themselves in the mirror and they're like, damn, you're still fat. They talk crap to themselves. And it's a really just heavy negative energy around it because you're trying to come in and help something improve that you hate. Like person A in the example that I just gave. You're constantly fighting against yourself rather than working with yourself and coming from a different viewpoint. So let's try to just, let's try to look at this a different way. Let's try a different way of change. let's try to look at this a different way. Let's try a different way of change. Let's say that you wake up one day and you look at yourself in the mirror and you don't necessarily like the way that you look, right? You don't like what you see there. But then you think about how you,

Starting point is 00:05:00 not your body. So if we take you, your consciousness, your soul that's behind it all, your thoughts, and then your body is just a byproduct of all of this. And you think about, how have I gotten myself here? Well, think about all of the lack of working out, going for a walk when you could, scrolling on Instagram too much instead of moving your body around, eating the food that you knew, you knew wasn't good for you, but you just ate it because it tasted good. Think about all of the alcohol. Imagine if you could, if there was a pool, empty pool, and you could just see how much alcohol you've drank over the course of your life. Probably be a lot for a lot of people listening, right?

Starting point is 00:05:42 Think about all of the drugs that you might have done or anything else that you might have put into your body. The lack of sleep. Do you know how much shit you have put your body through? I don't know about you, but from like 17 to 29, I put my body through so much crap. All of the crappy food that I ate, all of the alcohol that I drank,

Starting point is 00:06:06 the drugs that I did, the lack of sleep. I wasn't really a good friend of my body. And so it's not really my body's fault. Whose fault is it? It's my fault. Now, you have to understand, even though I've put my body through all of that, you have to understand, even though I've put my body through all of that, it still shows up for me every single day. It still shows up for me, even though I haven't treated it the best. And so I can look and be like, damn, maybe I should actually appreciate my body. It's doing the best that it can. I'm beating it up all of the time. And you realize your body is still running pretty damn well for all of the stuff that you put it through. Your body's been resilient. And instead of hating your body and wanting to change it,

Starting point is 00:06:55 what if you were to look at it from, and this is just body for an example, you can do this with your relationships, you can do this with your business, you can do this with your career, you can do this with anything that you want. Instead of hating it, why don't I try to look at it from the viewpoint of appreciating it? Would I be more motivated to take care of my body long term if I appreciated it more than I hated it? Absolutely. And after all of the stuff we put our bodies through, it still shows up for us. Damn, maybe I should show up for my body better. And we will be right back. And now back to the show.

Starting point is 00:07:33 And then something changes when you like, when it really clicks into place. And once again, this is just body that I'm talking about. It could be any example though. Something changes when your perspective changes. It's like the old quote, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, as Wayne Dyer says. So if I'm changing the way that I look at my body, when I change the way I look at things, the things I look at change, my body changes. I'm like, oh my God, this thing's

Starting point is 00:08:02 been here for me for so long. It's been showing up for me for 30 something years. Maybe I should show up for it. Something changes when you look at it through a different lens. And then you're like, man, I'm actually grateful for my body. I don't hate this body. I'm actually grateful for it. And I can come from a place of gratitude. I can come from a place of love. And it makes you want to take care of your body the same way that you're more likely to want to help person B, your best friend, more than person A. Why? Because it comes from a place of love. You will always show up for the people that you love. If you love your body more, if you love your business more, if you love your relationships more, if you love everything more, you will show up more for it. So you decide, you know what? I'm not going to force. I'm not going to hate. I'm not going to hate. I'm not

Starting point is 00:08:45 going to come from a negative place. I'm going to work out more often to take care of my body. And instead of doing like workouts that I hate, why don't I just find something that I enjoy? Maybe you hate going to the gym, but you love playing basketball and you love going for hikes. That's fine. You don't have to be swole. You don't have to be this big, huge guy or super muscular. What if you just did what you enjoy? And you're like, you know what? I really don't enjoy doing this, but there is many forms of movement that I can do. You know what? I got some mountains around me. I'm going to go on hiking a little bit more. And you decide to work out whatever workout movement more often

Starting point is 00:09:19 because you want to take care of your body. Damn, it's been there for so long for you. Maybe I should show up for it. You decide to eat a little bit healthier to give your body what it deserves. You decide to shift from wanting to change what you hate to wanting to change something because you love it and you appreciate it. You know, if you love and appreciate a flower, you'll take care of the flower. And it's like they asked the Buddha, what's the difference between love and something that you love and something that you like? If you like a flower, you'll pick it. If you love a flower, you'll water it and you'll take care of it so it grows.

Starting point is 00:09:56 So which do you think is easier long term to keep up? Coming from a place of hate or coming from a place of love and appreciation? Both can work in the short term, but one of them leads to burnout and one of them is way easier to get yourself moving. It feels better and it's way more sustainable. When you come from a place of love and gratitude, that's sustainable because you're fueled by this place of like, I want to help. You know, if you have children and you love your children, they could be a pain in the ass, can't they? They can. But you come from a place of love and you're like, you know what? I do want to help my children. I do want to help them grow and become the best

Starting point is 00:10:34 adult that they possibly can. Let me give you another example, right? Let's say that you just decide, you know what? I want to change my life. And there's this thing that I hate in my life. And there's this thing that I hate in my life. I'm going to change this and I'm going to get better. I'm going to change this part of myself. For years, when I first got into personal development, I got into personal development from the wrong place. It was, I hate this aspect of myself.

Starting point is 00:11:03 I need to change it. And then what I realized was always those aspects, and I forced and I forced and I forced and I tried to change and it wasn't changing. But what I realized is when you find something that is an aspect of yourself that you quote unquote hate, it is usually a coping mechanism for something that happened to you in the past.

Starting point is 00:11:21 So if you have like an anger issue, you know, that is probably a coping mechanism that came from your past. If you are a people pleaser and you're like, I hate that I'm a people pleaser. That is a coping mechanism that kept you safe when you were younger. And so you can look and be like, man, yeah, like I can, I can look at that and be like, man, when I was a child, I needed that coping mechanism. It kept me safe. That people pleaser and making sure everyone felt good so that my father didn't scream at the family or whatever it was, was something that I had to do at nine years old. But now that I'm older, I can appreciate it, but I don't need to necessarily

Starting point is 00:11:55 hold on to it anymore. And you can hate certain aspects of yourself and try to change them, but it's really hard to keep going for a long time. But if you can look at it from a different lens of like, where did this, is this a coping mechanism? Where did this coping mechanism come from? Man, I can see how this coping mechanism kept me safe. And I love that it popped up because it kept me safe as a child. But from a place of love, I'm going to just, you know, put it off to the side. It will never disappear inside of me, but I don't need to be a people pleaser 99% of the time. Sometimes you might need to be a people pleaser and it's good to kind of pull that tool out of the toolbox when you need to use it, but you don't have to use it all of the time. You know, let's say that you're looking at your life

Starting point is 00:12:36 and you hate certain aspects of your life circumstances. Maybe you hate where you live. Maybe you hate the car that you drive. Maybe you hate the money, the lack of money in your bank account. Maybe you hate the people that you're surrounded by. Maybe you hate the lack of opportunities. Try this out. What if you look at them and try to love the challenges that you have? I know it's not easy. Everything I say is way easier said than done. The reason why everything in this world is easier said than done because to say it, it only requires you to move your lips. But to do it means you actually have to take action. So instead of resisting and hating these obstacles, you can look at it and be like, yeah, these are stepping stones for me to grow. Every challenge, and this is my personal belief,

Starting point is 00:13:17 and you can probably look back in your life and find examples of this. Every challenge that's brought to you is brought to you for you to learn and grow from and become better. And so you can look at it and be like, every challenge teaches me something. It's a lesson that's in every single challenge. And so maybe I can love the challenges that they come up. I know, I know it's not the easiest thing in the world to do, but I can learn to start loving these challenges because I know that they're propelling me. They're trying to build me. It's the universe's way of giving me a heavier weight to lift so I can become stronger. And then you try to love everything that you can love. You look at your career and be like, I hate the career that I have. Okay, you can hate it if you like, or you

Starting point is 00:13:57 can appreciate it. I bet you've learned a lot. Maybe you've learned what you don't want anymore. You've probably acquired some skills that will help you in the next career that you go to. You can hate it or you can try to appreciate it. When you look at your life, you can hate your life or you can find places to appreciate. When you look at your finances, you can hate your finances or you can appreciate that you do have some finances. There's many people who are way off, way, way further off than all of us listening to this podcast, right? They have way further off in their career, in their life, in their finances than you are right now. And so when you focus on something and you try to switch your lens to love

Starting point is 00:14:36 and appreciation, you shift your perspective from this place of lack, this place of scarcity, which is where most people live, to abundance. And happiness is not found in getting what you want, which is what we all think. It's found in learning to love what you actually have, because there's always something else that you can get in this world. It's like the Bob Marley quote when they say, he says, if you're in love with money, you'll never be happy because money never ends. It's just numbers. So it's like you have to learn to actually just love and appreciate what it is that you have. Be grateful for what it is that you have. And here's what's interesting. When you focus on gratitude for what you have, what I've found, and I don't know how this works,

Starting point is 00:15:14 I'm not smart enough to understand the universe, but I believe that when you focus on being grateful for stuff, when you can be trusted with a little, you can be trusted with more. When you're trusted with a little, you can be trusted with a lot. If you can't be trusted with a little bit of finances, there's no fucking way that the universe is going to trust you with more. If you can't appreciate what it's given you, it's not going to give you more. It's like a whining child that just whines about what they don't have, right? You will not be given more. If you cannot be trusted with a little, you will not be trusted with a lot. And so we tend to think happiness comes from like external achievements. I've got to get awards. I've got to get acknowledgements. I've got to become famous, whatever it is. But really what

Starting point is 00:15:53 it is, is it's an internal state and your happiness can shift at any moment. If you go back and listen to my podcast on happiness, you can listen to it. I go much deeper into it. It is an internal state. It is a decision. Happiness is a decision. And some of you might be like, that's bullshit. Fine. Keep thinking that if you like, but you can go back to the episodes and listen to it. Loving what you have doesn't mean that you stop striving for more and wanting to achieve more and grow and evolve, but it just makes the journey a lot easier. That's for sure. And it's like, do you want to force life or do you want to just allow life? When you force change, it feels unnatural. It's like swimming upstream. It's tiring. It takes a lot of energy,

Starting point is 00:16:30 but when you start to allow, it starts to feel like you're flowing with the current, you embrace the process. And like the thing about me, like I'll give you a great example of how I used it. I know when I first started my podcast, that was one of the things where I was just like, I'm going to try to focus more on gratitude. I'm going to try to make things more effortless. And over years, I've been asking myself this question of how can I make this feel more effortless? When I was writing my book, I was writing my book at home here in Austin, and I was sitting in my office that I was always sitting in when I was working every single day. And I kept

Starting point is 00:17:05 thinking to myself, like, man, I've heard so many times that people are just like, writing a book is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. And it was pretty damn hard. I will admit that. But I went into it with the mindset of like hearing, I've heard authors say that like every book that I do takes two or three years off the end of my life. And so I came in with this thought of like, it's going to be a struggle. It's going to be so hard. And so we took a team trip to Sedona and I flew out my team and there was like 12 of us that were out there and I was going to fly back. And I was just kind of inspired by just being in Sedona and the mountains and everything. And I, I talked to my wife and I was like, Hey, I think I'm going to stay for an extra week.

Starting point is 00:17:39 I'm going to rent an Airbnb. I'm going to have a, like a beautiful backdrop so I can just write this book and see what comes out. She's like, okay, that's fine. So everybody flew back and I stayed there for an extra week. And I remember the day before I started writing my book, I was like, oh my God, this is going to be so hard. This can be so hard. This can be so hard. I went in with the intention of like, oh my God, this is going to be so hard. And then I had this thought of what if I can make it effortless? What would it look like for me to make it effortless? And so I started, I came up with an affirmation. I said, writing this book is going to be easy and it's going to be effortless. It's going to just flow out of me. Writing this book is going to be easy. It's going to be effortless. It's just going to flow out of

Starting point is 00:18:19 me. I kept saying it over and over and over again. So I woke up the next morning and I got my coffee and I went outside and I saw the mountains and everything. And I turned my wifi off of my computer, brought up my Google doc and I had my coffee and it was, it was just coffee, me, computer, mountains. That's all that was out there. And, um, I was like, all right, this is going to be easy and this can be effortless. I had the entire, all like the, if you, if you've read my book, level up, I had part one, part two, part three, completely figured out. I had chapter entire, all, like if you've read my book, Level Up, I had part one, part two, part three completely figured out. I had chapter one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12 in order.

Starting point is 00:18:53 And I started writing and almost got done with chapter one in the first day. And I was like, oh my God, it just felt like it was flowing out of me because I had this idea of it's going to be easy and it's going to be effortless. And I want my life to feel more effortless. And so how would your life change? How would your evolution of self, of your mindset, of your finances, of your career, of your business, of your body be different if you stopped hating it and you started appreciating it, if you stopped thinking it was going to be a struggle and you started telling yourself

Starting point is 00:19:19 it was going to be easy, it was going to be effortless. And these principles apply to everything in your life. It can be your body, which is the example that I gave to you today, your business, your career, your relationships, your finances, all of that, being a parent. And so what the key is to approach change from a place of love and appreciation versus focusing on what you hate and trying to change the way that you hate. Because if you want to do this for a long time, if you want to grow and evolve for a long time, it's much easier to want to evolve and work hard for something that you love versus something that you hate. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram

Starting point is 00:19:58 stories. Tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I love to see every single time that you guys share it. The only way this podcast actually grows is from you guys sharing it. And so if I've ever impacted you in any sort of way with these podcasts, I would love to impact more people and help more people change their own lives as well. Because if we can keep changing other people's lives,

Starting point is 00:20:18 I think the world's gonna get better. So if you wanna help us out, help the world out, share this podcast episode. I'd greatly appreciate it. And with that, I'm gonna leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - Transform Your Life: The Power of Mindset Shift for Lasting Change

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