The Mindset Mentor - Understanding Emotions & Habits

Episode Date: January 22, 2018

Episode 379 - Your emotions are not real, they are habits and patterns that you have developed along your lifetime. Don't believe me? Listen to today's episode! Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to the MWF Motivation Podcast, one of the top-rated motivational podcasts in the world. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I come out with a short, to-the-point, no-BS podcast designed to transform you from who you are today into who you want to be. There's no fluff here, just life-changing content. My name is Rob Dial, and the podcast starts now. Welcome to today's episode. If you have not yet done so, hit the subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. And as of today, the day that this comes out, we only have about eight days left until I close down my group coaching to the public

for a little while in order to concentrate on my group coaching members. So if you are somebody who is sitting there, you're 2018, we're almost done with the month. So if your 2018 hasn't been going the way that you want it to, and you need it to be better, you need to be better. I want to help guide you there. And I think group coaching would probably help you do so. So inside of the group coaching is over 40 hours of video lessons. There's an entire group of people that you can leverage for motivation, for help, for accountability. There's the book club where we read a book every single month. We're currently reading a book called The Power of Now, which is one of my favorite books ever. And then we do a book review at the end of the month. Like we have a bunch of different things. We have challenges. There's a

challenge I'm about to announce to them, which is pretty awesome. We have all these different things. So if you're trying to take your life to the next level, I think my group coaching could help you. And if you want to try it out for $1 for seven days, send me an email, rob at MWF motivation before it is too late. Once again, rob at MWF motivation. There's currently just about a week until I close the doors to the public and no one else can join. So send me an email. We'll talk about it. Okay. So what we're going to talk about today is your emotions. Get a pen and paper I'm gonna dive into how your brain works here we go you are not an emotional person you have identified yourself with a pattern of thinking now let me explain exactly what I'm talking

about a lot of people watch this video and say I'm an emotional person he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. But let me explain this to you. And this goes back to when you're actually a child. And so when you're born, your mother has a flood of chemicals that runs through her brain. One of them is called oxytocin. Oxytocin is known as the cuddle chemical. And what happens is this is why it's so much easier for a man to leave a child than for a woman to leave a child is because when a woman gives birth, there's actually this thing called oxytocin that runs through her brain. It is what makes the woman chemically fall in love with the child before ever even seeing it.

So what happens is as you're growing up as a child, as you're zero, one, two years old, your mom has this oxytocin more than normal running through her brain. So you can mess up a lot as a child as you're zero one two years old your mom has this oxytocin more than normal running through her brain so you can you can mess up a lot as a kid you can pee on the floor you can knock stuff over you can break stuff and your parents will go and clean it up no questions asked but then eventually what happens is this oxytocin starts to run out of the brain and go back to normal levels and you knock something over on accident as a little kid does, and your mom snaps for a second. And it might not be a big snap, but it's enough to shock you as a little kid. And what happens is your immediate reaction is, oh, my mom is pulling her love away

from me. And you start to cry because that's the only thing that a child cares about is if their parents, if they have their parents' love. And if your parent yells at you, your immediate reaction is, oh my gosh, I'm not going to have my parents' love. And what probably happened if you're a quote unquote emotional person is that you started to cry and your mom snapped out of it. And she said, oh my gosh, what am I doing? She went to go pick you up. She picked you up and cuddled you. And you realize in that one second, maybe you were one, two years old, maybe three years old, that if I cry, I get my mother's love. AKA, if I cry, I get what I want. We all have seen children who cry when they don't need to cry. They fake cry because it is a learned pattern. It's a learned

habit. They know I cry, I get what I want. I cry, I get what I want. Now some people grow out of this pattern or habit. Some people never realize that it's not natural and they never grow out of it. So if you see yourself as an emotional person, there's a pretty good chance that this is actually a connection that you have from your childhood. Now a pattern or habit is not hardwired into your brain. It can be reversed. You were able to program it into your brain from a child. You're able to reprogram it to something else. So what you do is this. Next time you notice emotions start to come out, right? You identify the pattern or habits you want to break. That might be emotions or being emotional. And what you do is you make a new default that you go to.

So next time you feel you know what sets you off, it's somebody yelling at you or it's somebody cutting you off, it's somebody doing something or your life not living up to your expectations, and that's when the emotions start to come. What you do is you notice, you become self-aware, very self-aware, this is what sets me off. And when it starts to go down that path, you have to immediately become self-aware, click yourself out of it and go to that default, whatever that default is. Maybe if somebody yells at you, or let's say this, let's say somebody puts too much in your plate at work and you start to shut off, you start to become emotional and start to freak out a little bit. You know that that is your pattern or habit. What do you do? You have an automatic default that you go to.

That automatic default could be listening to your favorite song, right? So as soon as you get all of that stuff put on your plate, you feel all of those emotions start to rush through you, you put in your headphones and you listen to your favorite song and make yourself break out of that pattern or habit. Because a pattern or habit can always be reversed

but you have to catch it in the moment before your brain starts going down that route that it continues to go down every single time the only way to break a pattern or habit is to break it in the middle of that actual neurotransmitter firing from one place to another so figure out what the pattern is you're trying to break and then figure out what your default pattern will be that you're trying to replace it with, so what happens is your brain will actually start to reverse itself. After hundreds and hundreds or thousands of times of this happening, if you start putting

on that favorite song, that default, and that default puts you into a good state, you can see somebody put a ton of work on your plate and it will actually not affect you. Might even make you happier because what you've done is you've reversed the emotions from being anxious or sad or pissed off or whatever it might be to happiness instead. So you can always reverse your patterns or habits, but you have to become very self-aware and you always have to have the default pattern or habit as well. Well, that's it for today's podcast. If you want the show notes for this episode, they can be found at mwfmotivation.com. Also, if you liked this episode, please spread the love and share it with a friend because it's our mission to help as many people as we can.

And to keep in touch, you can follow us on Instagram and Facebook. Both handles are at MWFMotivation with no spaces. Now you know what time it is. So go out and make your dreams a reality. Outro Music